i juz came back from my class chalet at Aranda Country Club.. Yuppieee.. din sleeepp last night... onli managed to slepp tis afternoon after i bathe as it was raining..

i went to the bank with daddy to open a joint account cuz he said in case sth happen to him.. he sound so sad.. hope nth is happening to him.. juz in case onli.. yuppie.. after tht i went to chalet.. yup.. ms neo went too.. hees.. she even stayed overnight.. haa.. so fun.. haaa.. had fun bbqing.. watching tv and playing gamess..

jo said i sux~.. lols!...

its the 26 of mar todae.. arnd 2359.. yuppie.. i went to lu's hse to sleep over yesterdae.. yuppie.. ha d fun!.. den i went to band den i went home.. i wasnt in good mood todae.. lolz.. sometimes i dun feel like joining the band because my frens all are not joining.. den ... haizzzzz.. dunoo.. see how it goes..

i went to help my cousie ytd.. it was so tiring.. hmm. den i went to meet iris, suet, shan, lu, meng and soe to have dinner.. den went to see suet's bf.. yupp. we den went to see lin and chui teng.. yup.. haa.. hmm.

tats all ba.. i am tired ...

things have not been the same.. i duno wad i want anymore.. i choose to help my cousin instead of celebrating lao da's b'day..

i used to miss them a lot and would try to attend all the gatherings and now that there is one, i duno why i dun feel like goinn... hmmmmmmmmmm... time will heal all wounds....

i went to help alan todaeee.. 24mar

time flies isnt it?.. its the 10th dae since ah ma left us. it is wierd not to have her around. to nag.. to ask mi to eat.. to ask mi where my mom had gone when she came back late.....

i was busy with the funeral wake from 13-19mar (the dae we left for mandai to be creamated) tat dae was a sad dae. I witnessed the coffin being carried onto the aluminium lorry with the plate 8888. den we walk the last distance with her.. den we past our house where ah ma lived.. when we reach mandai, we see the coffin moving in to be creamated.. it was so sad.. i shouted fer her, i asked her to stay the big house we burnt for her on 18 mar 2005, i asked her to come back and visit us. maybe she didhear mi. cuz i dreamt of her that night.

we went to collect the remains the next dae. hopefully ah ma went to heaven cuz the priest said her bones were pink indicating she has reached a certain level of duno wad. we each pick a bone and put it inside and we brought it to the temple to store it. tht dae, i duno why i missed her a lot because i kept crying helplessly. realli miss her..

i was busy with my exams from 21mar to 24 mar.

sometimes i wonder if ah ma din went to the hospital, would she still be with us? sometimes i feel "bu fu" cuz when she was sent to the hospital on 6mar, i went to see her on the 10th. she was ok. she was still well when bro went to see her on the 7th. on the same dae, i asked daddy when will ah ma be back and he told me fridae which would be back on the 10th. I assumed tht she's ok but mum smsed mi to go and see her on thurs 9th mar saying she suddenly fell ill. tht dae, i was suppose to celebrate loon's b'dae but i went to see her and i kept crying cuz all this 17+years, i never thought wad will happen if ah ma die. so i felt helpless. i prayed for miracle and she survived till the 13th of mar.

the women who pick mi up from kindergarden when my maid was busy, the one who look after the house, the one who kept tis family going. the luckiest women (my ah ma) . She has ppl to accompany her everydae at the hospital, even at night. She whose funeral is 7 daes, she who has a live band, she who had singers to sing for her on the last dae of the funeral, she who has many ppl to walk the last distance with her, she is none other my grandmother.

i tot no one would come to my house anymore but yesterdae (23mar) my uncle came and i almost wanted to ask him if her wanted to look for grandma but i soon realise she has left us. I felt happie for ah ma because she got filia son to come and pay his respects to her even when she's gone.

maybe there is miracle afterall.. my granny passed away on 13mar05 at 0438. i am shocked about it because she was still stable yesterdae when we went to visit her. maybe tis is wad we call LIFE.

recalling all the memories brought tears to my eyes. The house will be quieter now that granny is gone. i miss her.. i tot she will be back on fridae... but she will nv be anymore... hope everything will go will after sat when is the last dae of the funeral..

hope she will get to reunite with ah gong at heaven!

is there miracle in this world?.. i wonder..

so many beautiful memoriesss.. i duno where to start... i onli wan to treasure my loved ones and not regret when they are gone. is it time for granny to go?.. i duno~.. maybe yes.. maybe no~.. but whateva the outcome, i hope she will find peace..

i am goin to miss all the beautiful memories we share in the same roof and it's hard to imagine life without granny cuz all my life, i have been living with her.. from my kindergarden school daes.. when sometimes she would pick mi up from school. to primary school, to secondary school, to poly now.. i have seen her fit when she goes out once in a while to buy things to todae tht she cannot remember mi. all these are part and parcel of life..