A close to 2012 (although it's not over)

just a sudden decision to come back to blog. the reason i stopped blogging is because i felt i was judged because there were many things that i share here. including my negativity, my life direction (although i dont have one), me running from one place to another to find what i want.

since i stopped, i've been writing in my own diary. i got nothing to do at work so i decided to open my blog again. reading back all the past posts really brings back some feelings that i couldn't explain. couldn't believe i can put my feelings in words so well. well, not as good as others but not bad. couldn't believe i actually had so many great times. times that made me smile, cry, laugh. but you see, experiencing it at that time and looking back is totally different.

Experiencing it is difficult because you don't know what will the outcome be from the decisions you make. will it bring you trouble or will you enjoy it? are you able to perform to your best and is this your dream? Can i trust the people whom i meet?

Looking back at everything, you just couldn't believe you went through all of that, making you thankful for everything that has happened including the bad times. incidents that made you change, decisions that shaped you to be who you are today, mistakes that you will never repeat them again, people who touched your heart, people who hurt you.

Whatever it is, pray and ask God to help you enjoy every moment of your life because time really pass fast. The good times, Thank Him, The bad times, Ask Him. It's the end of 2012. How long will you be able to live here on earth, we will never know. Put the past behind, Throw away regrets, Learn from it, Forgive people who hurt you and Continue with your journey.

I pray and hope for the best to everyone out there!

I Love You, 2012. You have been great!

Last friday, 17/2/2012 i came back from work ad checked my email. didn't expect anything. but when i go thru my inbox, i saw two good news! Thank you, Lord!!

finally, a chance for me to chase my dream.. i hope to go thru all the stages. but it's not gonna be easy. but i'm need this! without this, something just feels missing in my life.

Thank You.

this year valentine i couldn't celebrate with him. it's our 4th year already. i went to work as normal. came back at 10pm and saw a gift on m table! i saw the sender's address from MHC Medical Network. then i know it's from him! i'm super happy! he send a valentine girft from me all the way from kl thru pos laju.. wheeee.. i never thought of tat so i didn't do anything for him. a white beautiful purse from Milk Teddy!

the pos laju truck arrived at 7pm in front of my ouse. i was working that time. my sister accepted it for me!

Yay!

I love you pi! Thank you! This 4 years with you has been awesome! you have been so good to me. Looking back, i don't regret being with you. =)

Let's go through this life til the end of time. <3

My ambition : PILOT!

I wanna chase my dream. I've been hoping for an opening from any airline in Malaysia for a cadet pilot position.

and today, I found it in AirAsia's page. I'm too excited but at the same time, i'm really hoping for an interview.

oh, please oh please, oh pleaseee...

i've been called for air asia interview for a cabin crew position at sepang but i'm working that day. how? should i go or should i not?

New Year! 2012!

Went penang on 31st December 2011 to celebrate new year in png. actually to see my dearest. he went to png on thurday but because i need to work, i gotta go only on saturday.

It's a geat new year for me. went to queensbay, bought baskin robins since it's 31st! and also i bought two little kites (RM4 each). went for buffet dinner at Tao. went for watch night service in EPCC, Clement's sister's church. the service was great. 

We only got to play the kite on Monday. went to the fishing beach like 2pm near gold coast resort to play kite. it was crazy. the sun was burning but i kept on standing under the shade. but clement keep on stand under the sun. now kena sunburn. our kite fell into the sea and after that, it was useless. it was imbalance after that. during the evening, we went to queensbay to fly kite again. and after few tries to fly our little kites, we gave up because the kite "sot sot tei" adi. we ended up buying a bigger kite. Rm17 with lots of tail. hehe.. we really had fun! Thank you, pi! muacks.

Clement's bus to kl was 5.20pm just now. i miss him. =(

argh!

what is really wrong with me? i cant seem to know what i want in this life.. i'm really lost. everyone is chasing their dreams and here i am not knowing what do i want for my future.

maybe i dont wanna grow up. i want to go back to schooling days when my talents shine. when i do not need to worry about anything and just be myself. sports, maths, add maths, dance! argh! being a teacher really is not close to being back in school cos your duties are totally different!

despite all the laughters, inside me, i'm struggling to find my path.

i'm drowned by reality!