Yamagata and me,

Be be your love.
Rachael Yamagata.

If I could take you away
Pretend I was queen
What would you say
Would you think I'm unreal
'Cause everybody's got their way I should feel

Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real
Want to be your everything

Everything...

Everything's falling, and I am included in that
Oh, how I try to be just okay
Yeah, but all I ever really wanted
Was a little piece of you

And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real

Everything will be alright
If you just stay the night
Please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away
Please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away

And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real

And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real

I want to be your love, love, love



Just one question dear readers, can love overcome life?

Only because it involves me;

Good morrow dear loyal readers. Have you noticed the person next to your at the coffee shop when you're having you breakfast? Did you think that they're reading your life just by sipping your coffee? Or did you try to figure your neighbor's life?

Humans. Some think that they would thought of the worst when an issue revolves the people around. It is pretty much like the fundamental attribution error.

Sad thing is, this bloody error is part of our lives, whether we like it or not.

The question is, why?

Remember that I've told you about the lady who left her USD on the bed before she flew somewhere?

These fundamental attribution error, are happening everywhere. Maybe I noticed about it because this error is glued at the back of my mind. I mean, why do people tend to blame externally most of the time?

And when one blames internally, they'll go like; "Eh, mengaku pulak tu.."

Now, standing here lost in confusion, I'm asking for a light dear loyal readers, only because it involves me currently. Only because I need a way out. Selfish of me though. But what the heck.

She said, "You should know. You're taking psychology and all.."

Well dear aunt, if I knew, I would not take psychology. I'd maybe the God. Because they do not teach us. They only taught us that, humans do awkward things in life. The ones that affect others badly, but they'd run for dear life.

Now, can you please, get me the hell out of here?

I'm sorry.

"In the light of the sun,
Is there anyone?
Oh it has begun.
Oh dear, you look so lost,
Eyes are red
And tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed."
Augustana

Changing colors,

Here's the thing, I've been using my trusty mouse because I think that the laptop's mouse sensor is so melecehkan. But then I stopped using my mouse for well, a couple of weeks since I had no space for the mouse on the little table downstairs. And so it has been like that ever since, until today.

I transfered my laptop back to my room, with the wireless and all. Makes life easier don't you think? Then I decided to plug my mouse back. Oh how strange the feeling was.

You know, they said that changes are hard to adapt to. You get used to the stuffs you go through everyday. They become apart of your life. No matter how dear it was to you before, but after some time, you change your routine. Bit by bit, you know its a little hard to adapt to.

Maybe you would go phases like me, where you can't let the old routines go. But after some time the obsession of letting go outgrow the real feeling of lost. Then you would think that it is not so bad after all.

The funny thing is, you know you would want to go the same phases you went through before.
But when you have the chance to, you would have these weird feelings. A sense of awkwardness.

It's like meeting some old pals that you use to laugh and scream with. But several months later, when all of you have different lives, you miss that little shared interest. You tend to get lost for words for the next topic.

Sometimes, silence. Trying hard to dig inside your head for a common ground.

Hee. Changes.

Btw, what do all the people that sing "Everybody's changing" actually trying to say?

Okay, macam shallow je bunyi nya. Assignments, cheers!

When tomorrow is another day,

Good evening dear loyal readers. How has it been for you along the week? Did your boss notice the extra effort you have been putting? Did your peers notice your secret smile?


Let me ask you this little question that seem to be troubling me. Maybe I'm a little absurd, but well, you know.

Do you notice the stranger that you're talking to is elder than you? Like for example if you're ordering your meal at the mamak stall, or wherever. Do you speak at a proper manner? Or do you just put on your snob look, with your sour face and order?

I mean, we do tend to get a little carried away, especially when you're with your peers. Yes maybe the ones that worry which shoe is going to drop next.

Do you think that the neighbor next to you who ordered a Nescafe tarik thinks highly of himself than the elder who served him? Only because he works at a mamak stall with his dirty worn t-shirt and trousers (notice how rarely people use this word nowadays?).

But what happens when youths deal with these situations? Do they smile? Or give a puzzling look? Neutral or perhaps a little pinch of that superiority feeling?

Is it okay to direct an elder when in a job structure, you are somewhat superior? Especially with the firm direction tone. My B.M teacher would put it as, ayat suruhan.

So, I don't know, you tell me.

Ideally, I think that the world's such a great place to live in. And life's such a great journey. Why waste it?

But when you know the world is always ready to turn its back on you. You just know that tomorrow is yet another day.

Good or bad, no one has ever predicted it accurately.

Goodnight world.

"And if you're crazy, I don't care, you amaze me!" The Fratellis.

Some poem.

" .. . Kerana derita itu adalah dia,"

The above line is from a local poem, the one we read back in secondary school.

Nice meaning to it don't you think?

The world beneath;

A very good morning dear loyal readers. Over the heat of the "political tsunami"?
Did you think it is that easy to get over the shock?
Or are you still not over it, like that tiny past at the back of your mind, tattooed on you?

The smell of the hash brown here is so yummy, that I actually forgot what I wanted to write.
How do you tell the makcik makcik in the surau who are making ridiculously a lot of noises gossiping about some anak angkat (I'm sorry I ter-eavesdrop) when there are a bunch of us are trying to talk to God? It's so annoying that I got to the point where I wanted to say, "Aunty, ni surau tau, kalau ye nak gossip pun, keluar lah. Suara aunty tu, is amplified more than the men in front."

Haha, unfortunately, my conscience or rather my super-id took over. Biar lah, malu nanti dia, besides, er.. I'm younger. Young kids just don't have any right to tegur the elders, we're inadequate since they are the ones yang makan garam lebih banyak. And I'll be biadab, and jaga tepi kain orang. So yeah, is it the same in other norms?

Let's talk about the political changes. What do you think? Do you stand along with the others who particularly freaked out when BN did not get 2 thirds of the parliament. Some think the bumis would get less privileges. Thats one thing about privileges, they have always been spoon fed until they are afraid to stand on their own.

What ever happened to healthy competition?

You know where you do your best and be mentally challenged by the tension of that "race" or whatever you may call it. That's what I call life, you break, fall and stand on your own. That's when you get to actually APPRECIATE what you lost, collected and gained along the way.

I guess a percentage of Malaysia is just not ready for the change.

Loh Gwo Burne won the Kelana Jaya parliament seat, bringing down Lee Hwa Beng, the guy who brought Subang Jaya up. I'm sorry, it's just the place where I grew up in, and I'm a kid ( No no, I believe baby is the right word) in this political issues but well, I've seen how Subang Jaya has grown. And, LGB actually took his picture with a camera in his hand, HOW CORNY IS THAT. hahahaha! Ok i find it funny really, but I guess all things go.

And the whole V.K Lingam videos are just, well, a path that leads to another. And so that Chua Soi Lek's video. What are with videos anyway? I guess it is really the whole mass communication thing growing. Its a tool. A damn serious tool, to capture happy moments, as well as to bring leaders down.

Oh, and that Hindraf rally?

I think the parties other than BN, yes, DAP, PKR, PAS and all are smart. I think they'd be change. Well that's what this baby thinks. Was never really into politics. But I guess its fun to follow it. And laugh how these leaders scream and shout like monkeys at the Parliament. I like.
Again, by right, I'm not in any position to say anything. Think this will be my first and last post on politics.

And see what's happening on the US politics, did I tell you Hilary Clinton actually appeared in Saturday Night Live?

Maybe Sharizat should do something like that to win her position. HAHAHA.

BUT I SWEAR GILA SMART HILARY KELUAR ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE. AND SHE IS THE BLOODY SENATOR OF NY!!

And there's a sex scandal in the US politics.

I guess it is the election season, where all the rats come out of the closet. To bring the party down, or to open the eyes of the citizen? Which stand are you in?

Did I tell you my term papers are still on hold? And my midterms were screwed. I need excellence, not "above average". See what Malaysian norms did to us kids?

So are you bloody ready for the change?

I know most of the Malaysians are, since BN lost most of their seats.

And fundamental attribution error is everywhere. Like this lady next to me, I'm sorry, I can't help but eavesdropping. Anyway, she left her USD at home apparently, so she said "Ganesha was playing with it." See what I mean? A sense of Nietzsche's ubemench?

Oh airports are great places.

Time waster;

I'm suppose to be working my ass for my term paper on the US Government. But well you know, first thing first;

I WISH I COULD WRITE SOMETHING AS BRILLIANT AS THE MARTIAN CHILD

Only because the movie was good! I bet the book is even great at even a larger scale.

Anyhow, I just had something to ask you dear loyal readers;

Imagine you were me. In your black shirt top, and your 3/4 black pants. With your hair tied up in a ponytail, waiting for your meal. When dear Mr Jack went to get the little boxes that would help to satisfy his nicotine quench. Yeah, it was a nice night to eat dinner especially when you take trips down together looking for songs that you grew up with. You know, like "Hey Leonardo" by Blessed Union Souls or "Breakfast at Tiffany's" by Deep Blue Something. Or maybe the old Mariah Carey and Gwen Stefani. They were awfully good until to the point you are proud you listened to them before. But when you look at them now, well, they're just there. Making new albums, singing new songs.

Anyways, then right at the opposite of you, in a X manner, sits a family of well-educated (religion wise) people. Yes, where the head of family has the 3 black marks that signify their faithful duties as His servants. The ones that most of us religiously fail to fulfill. What do you think I would feel at that very moment, knowing that I was alone at that table.

Nothing? Boy, you're wrong.

Inadequate. Ashame.

ESPECIALLY, when there are 2 young growing teenagers, probably in the age of 15 to 17. Of same religion, of same race. In their Oh-So-Super Shorts and their little spaghetti tank tops. Laughing, sitting with a leg on the chair showing their hair-less thighs. And they are sitting right next to the family I was referring to.

And the family left. I could not do anything but lower my head down, and continue fighting my Ken in Street Fighter on my cell, and lost.

One scene. One question.

Is religion the path you are suppose to commit your life to?
If yes, then why are most of the people I stumbled upon are screwed up. All my life I've been growing up where the idea of pre-marital sex is what the Westerns practice and we Asians, or specifically Muslims are forbid against it. But why when I was at the early stage of teenagers, I realized, it is a rule and rules are meant to be broken.

Then why are we still practicing superstitious beliefs which I guess were inherited by the budaya Hindu many decades ago? And why drinking is such a "cool" and "in" thing?

If no, well, how sure are you? Why are there atheist? I don't know lah.

Oh and the saddest part was, these teens seem to not feel anything. Too caught up in their world I guess? Or maybe it is just the phase they're going through. Or well, maybe it is just a sad case for them then.

I should be thinking about my G****** term paper. Cheers.

Oh, really, watch Martian Child.