Saturday, January 31, 2009


life is being a retard
it pisses me off when i try so hard and nothing is acknowledged..
everything i do is being belittled. all the achievements though is nothing worth mentioning its still things that i am proud of.
i did all those just to make u proud and yet i am not remembered for what I've done right. but for every single thing i fail to achieve or even worst none of my business but i being malign for.

what the hell is wrong with this world. i try so hard not to disappoint any one yet i am still not worthy of that little bit of respect. i work so hard only to get hurt. so whats the point.

since people think that i am not right when i do all the right things why should i continue doing the right things?

i type this as the better of me tells me that i should just continue doing the right things till one day people realise that i am doing the right things all along.
but the latter asks me why continue being good when i still get the same amount of blames and scoldings. why should i be good? why should i continue setting good examples when whatever i do, no one follows. and what ever they do wrong is my fault. why should i do the right things? why should i listen and be good. when someone else is pissing them off and then enjoying oneself when people like me being all good staying behind to get the mental torture and psychological abuse. why should i? shouldn't i be enjoying my life as i don't get to be 21 twice?

why the hell should i miss out all the fun a 21 yr old gets? why should i keep silent when another person creates all the mess and disruption to everything another person fought so hard to maintain? what wrong did i do to deserve all this crap?

why should i keep mum when i am being blamed for the things someone else do. why should i defend a person who would never repent. and be sorry for his/her own mistakes. why the hell should i?

and he said.. "you do everything right thing till it's just so wrong."

so is doing the right thing wrong?

is the most filial person in the entire era of past, present and future have to go through all these? what the hell is filial piety?

someone enlighten me. or perhaps them.

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eyes sparkled at 7:31 PM

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


the emotional baggage is to heavy to handle.
i don't know where to find the strength to stand up against all those crashing emotions.

i know life isn't all rainbows and butterflies.
but some things are too much to handle.

i dont know how distorted one's emotions can be.

we love u. we really do.
but when you said we didnt understand you and cared less about your feelings. have you even considered ours? have you once considered how hard is it for people you leave behind to pick up the piles and piles of mess you created. have you ever wondered how hard is it to forgive you. but time and again there will be someone standing up for you. time and time again there is some one clearing up after you. have you wondered how much hardwork is it for him to time and again compromise to your demands? all of those which were given to you.. all came from his silent sufferings. just so that there is a smile on our face. have u ever thought about us as much as we think about you.

i only yearn for u to finally grow up.. to understand things that we want you to. for you to realise how much we actually love you.

eyes sparkled at 1:17 AM

Friday, January 16, 2009


the heart ache.

its been years since i last stood up for anyone including myself.
the kind of pain...tears... those screaming of silent heartaches all these years.

everyone has a story. every family has their tales.
who really understand?

who really cherishes?

all those silent tears.

i wonder if he'll ever understand. what everyone has put in for him.
i wonder if he'll ever understand. what we gave up for him.
i wonder if he'll ever understand. what life has stalled for him.

i really hope he understands...

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eyes sparkled at 11:04 PM

Thursday, January 15, 2009


its so hard to understand how unreasonable some people can get.
the way people throw their weights around just to get some benefits.

it just shows how dark the world is ..
just because they are of higher status does not mean that other individuals are of their biding.

i know individuals want to lead a peaceful life they just want to ensure stability but don't you think that some times its just unfair.

i totally abhor how ugly the society is but life is just like that.

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eyes sparkled at 10:08 PM

Monday, January 12, 2009


i have been bored for quite awhile already.
i just dread the thought of going back.
roar...

eyes sparkled at 3:27 PM

Monday, January 05, 2009


Happy New Year Ya'll!!

my very first post of 2009.

nothing much happen..

2 years passed..

and my holidays are coming to an end. =(

roarrr!

i dont want it to end so soon..

i'll be 21 this year. and how nice 21 years on planet earth.

i'm getting older ..

pfft.. and i'll be alone in lonely australia.. =( roarrrr!

2 more years to go.. omg i will be 22 by the time i get my degree..

omg.. time flies.. may this year be a really good one..

HAPPY NEW YEARRR!!!

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eyes sparkled at 10:49 PM

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