Good Day

Today I am extremely thankful for good job offers. And for a husband that starts his new job on Monday.

:)

Not Much to Report

It's been a few days since my last post, so I thought I'd get on and update on recent happenings. I spent some time in the yard Saturday morning pulling weeds and grass from the beds. Clara loved being outside helping. Mostly we just spent the day relaxing. We went up to the hospital on Saturday night to visit Becky and I stayed the night with her at so that Glenn could get some good sleep at home before bringing home baby. It wasn't bad at all. She's an awesome sleeper, so I really just changed a couple of diapers for Becky after her feedings. She woke, ate, and went right back to sleep. I didn't get to sleep until around 3:30, but not because of baby. Instead, I couldn't stop watching Selena on television. Sad, I know. Now I have Selena songs stuck in my head. Make it stop!!!

I left them around 9:00 am, got home and we even made it to church on time. I was pretty impressed with myself. I did take a long nap that afternoon though and we went back up that evening to visit some more.

Monday was pretty boring. Chris did have another interview downtown. And then another one today. Today was the last session of ladies bible class. I've enjoyed this class and I've really enjoyed the 2 hours of free babysitting that it afforded, so I'm going to miss going until it starts back up. This evening, I spent some time trimming our bushes, so our yard is finally starting to look decent. And that's about all the excitement going on here.

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Now for a few Clara updates. She's known most of her shapes for about a month now. She knows circle "sirsel", square "sare", triangle, rectangle, oval, and diamond.

She can remember things that happened the day before finally. We ask her all the time to "tell Daddy what you did today" or "where did we go yesterday?" and she's always just answered "ummm". Last week, we asked her where Leah got an owie the night before and she remembered the body part. That's a huge improvement in her memory. Or at least in recounting her memory.

At church on Sunday, during the communion prayer, she started singing "Jesus Loves Me" very loudly. We quieted her down quickly, so she switched to "Rockabye baby". And then last night, we went to a mexican restaurant we hadn't been to. There was a huge mural of The Last Supper painted on the wall we were facing. Clara pointed up at it and yelled "Jesus!!". I was a little surprised. I don't think she's seen that painting, but I guess the clothing choice of Jesus and the twelve is pretty unmistakable.

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And now for my daily dose of thankfulness. I'm thankful for the ladies who watch the kids during ladies bible class. They are all so sweet and love these little ones in their keep. Every time Clara walks in they greet her with huge smiles and love on her and make her feel so welcome. I'm thankful that God has blessed our family with such loving and encouraging Christian women for our little girl to look up to even at this young age.

Little Blessing

Today I am thankful for this little peanut and for her safe arrival this morning. Mommy and baby are doing great!

And wow, I think it's been a while. Could I look any less natural holding this little baby?

Final Baby-Free Evening

Tonight we spent a little quality time with Glenn and Becky before they become a family of four here in a couple of days. We went to the new fountain area on the Waterway to let the girls play. It was really nice. They have one area for the kiddos like at Market Street, but there are other large fountains as well.


After dark, every 15 minutes the kiddie one stops, music starts playing and there's a light and water show on the big ones timed to the music. They played "Louie, Louie", "Rainbow Connection" and a couple of others while we there. The girls took off dancing each time the music started, laughing and clapping.

So next time we see Glenn and Becky we'll be loving on their newest little rugrat. Can't wait!

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Earlier today, Clara and I had a playgroup at Market Street, so she's had some good fountain time today. Then, after her nap, I hear her coming towards our bedroom saying "Poo poo, Mommy." She hobbles into the room with her diaper around one ankle, poop on her foot and all down her legs. Ick! So she had her first mid afternoon bath due to fecal matter today. I wonder if there's a spot for that in her baby book. I guess I could always add a line, I already had to add a line for her bonus tooth.

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Today, I am thankful for HEB and their meal deal thing they do. I bought their seasoned fajita meat and got tortillas, shredded cheese, sausages, a 2 liter of HEB cola, bag of shredded lettuce and a can of beans for free! That's a lot of food. HEB meal deal things are something to be celebrated when you're unemployed.

Prayers

Today, I am thankful for my sisters in Christ and what an encouragement they are. For those that don't know, Chris and I started going to a different church at the beginning of the year. I've been going to ladies bible class there and have really gained a lot of encouragement from the study we've been doing.

I added my request to the prayer list today and received many hugs and words of encouragement even though I don't know many of them well. I had only told one of the ladies about the miscarriage before today. I had to email her about something last week and mentioned it in the email. She was ready this morning with a hug and a thoughtful card.

Right after my prayer request was mentioned, this same young mom got up to make the difficult announcement that her 3 week old baby was just diagnosed with Down's Syndrome. Afterwards, she was surrounded by loving arms and encouraging words from everyone there. My heart just aches for her right now. She is such a sweet and encouraging person even during this terribly trying time. Please just pray for her family. Pray that God just envelopes them with peace and comfort right now.

Self-Improvement

Most people, I think, tend to do a little introspection during trying times and I'm no different. A little turmoil always seems to cause me to want to better myself. You may be seeing a new and improved Kelsey soon enough. One thing that I can use a lot of work on is being more thankful. My posts lean more toward complaining about one thing or another, but not much time is spent being grateful for things in my life. Anyone who knows me knows that I am grateful, but I need to start looking for something each day that I'm thankful for, and being more vocal about it.

So, now you'll get to hear what I'm thankful for, hopefully each and every day. Today I'm thankful for Chris' education. He's always been able to provide everything our family has needed because of it. His education and the jobs he's been able to get with it has allowed me to stay home with Clara. Thankfully, he is starting to get some good news on the job hunt and things are just starting to happen, hence the reason I'm thankful for an education. Just wish I had one. Oh, booger, there I go complaining again.

I've been pretty bad about taking pictures lately, so I made sure to take a few on our walk tonight. We've been walking around the retention pond behind our house. It's great. Clara walks Dingle, Chris walks Max and we let Zoe loose because she's the only one we can trust. Here Clara stopped to smell the flowers. And the whole crew is tuckered out after a long, exciting walk in the second picture.

And this is a nest Chris discovered last week. It's on the ground, completely unprotected. There are no trees around and no covering to be found. Also, this area gets mowed over all the time, so hopefully the eggs will make it. Chris felt them last week and they were warm, but we didn't see a Mama anywhere. Later though, a bird started yelling at us from several yards away, so we let it be. I looked out our window a while later and saw her sitting on it. I didn't know there were some birds that laid their eggs on the ground. Then again, she might not be all there. Hmmm, maybe she's afraid of heights.

Quick Rundown of the Last Month

3/19- Clara and I drive 10 hours to Pecos. Clara pukes in the car.

3/24- Clara gets stomach bug. I get no sleep that night.

3/25- We miss our flight to Albuquerque due to the puking.

3/26- We make the 7 hour trip to Albuquerque by car. Not knowing Clara had an ear infection. Get into doctor that night who prescribes medication.

Next ten days- Medicating a 2 year old who doesn't particularly want to be medicated.

3/28- Find out I'm pregnant.

3/31- Find out Chris lost his job. Book a flight for Chris to Albuquerque. Pick him up from airport after a 30 minute delay.

4/1- Make the 17 hour trip home in one day.

Next several days- apply for unemployment, sell boat, put in applications, update resume, up with Clara once every night, deal with severe sore throat and allergies for me, coughing and allergies for Clara, go to baby shower, help host another baby shower, try unsuccessfully to potty train for one day before wondering what the heck I was thinking, etc., etc.

4/5- Chris' grandmother falls and is hospitalized. Clara pukes out at the Quinn house because she ate far too many carrots and grapes.

4/9- Micah and Lisa treat us to dinner and who do we run into but Chris' old boss. Awkward.

4/14- Clara pukes in carseat.

4/15- Chris' great aunt, who raised his dad, has a rapid decline in health and hospice is called. Clara pukes all over herself, Daddy, the rocking chair and floor.

4/16- Clara pukes in the kitchen mostly in a dog dish (thanks to Mommy's lightening quick reflexes). Start spotting and realize something's not right.

4/17- Miscarry.

I really hope the next month doesn't hold quite so much excitement. Or puking. Not sure what's up with the puking.

Scratch That

Well, I joined a club today. I really had no intention of joining this club and had actually counted myself lucky to have never been asked to join. I mean, their initiation procedures are pretty costly. Now, please understand I have nothing against other members of this club. In fact, I know quite a few members, from friends to family; some have kids, others don't. They're all very nice people, I just didn't especially want to be in their club. I've always been an outsider, not quite sure how to relate to them or what to say to them, but now I feel that I'm a kindred spririt and can share my story with the club. Hey, I might eventually be able to help future new members when they join, as they may be a little unsure as to what club membership entails.

So, what is this elite club that I'm refering to? It would be the group of women that have lost a child to miscarriage.

I know I've said this a lot lately, but I really am ok. It just happened this afternoon, but already, I'm feeling better. I'm of course sad and have shed my share of tears today. Oh, look at that, I'm tearing up again. But I think I'll be just fine after the initial shock has passed. I don't feel any guilt, like maybe it was something I did. I'm not asking "Why me?". I'm not angry with God. I still consider myself blessed beyond measure. These things happen, so why should I wonder why it would happen to me? It just did and I don't have to have a reason why.

I have a wonderful, supportive husband and an equally wonderful 2 year old. We're all healthy, we're all fed and clothed and there are much worse things that could be happening to us right now than what we're currently facing. I don't feel as if God has left me or didn't hear my prayers. He was my comforter and protector today just as he was yesterday and will be tommorow.

Please don't think that I'm not grieving for this baby. That's simply not true. In the few short weeks since we've known, we've already had hopes and expectations for this baby. I just tend to be a very objective person, (especially for a woman), and I know that God has a plan for us. This baby was not meant to join our family in this life. And that's ok.

There is the small matter of our little Clara. She had no idea what it meant to be a big sister, though she knew it was something to be very proud of. It will be even more difficult to explain that she's not going to be a big sister anymore. This morning, when I knew it was probably going to happen, Clara got in bed with us when she woke up. She laid with her head right by mine and kept saying "baby sister", "I'm big sister" and "baby tummy." That was the first time I cried about it. Daddy had to do some distracting for me.

For those that won't know what to say to me when you see me, that's ok. You don't have to say anything. For those that are good at saying something, go ahead. It's ok if I cry and you don't have to worry about saying the wrong thing. There are lots of women who think there are some things you shouldn't say in this situation, but as for all the standard, "It was meant to be", "I'm sure you'll have another child", "It was God's will" or "Your baby is in a better place"........ I actually don't see what's wrong with them. I'm thinking them all myself. But, that's apparently just me. Internet sources inform me that other women don't take so kindly to those particular types of comforting words. Just fyi. Hey, I'm here to inform.

So, once again, just keep us in your prayers. We could really use them.

Thanks Everyone!

Thank you all for your well wishes and encouraging words, but most of all, thank you for your prayers. They're all appreciated.

Not much to report on the job hunt just yet. Chris is starting to get a little stir crazy now. Hopefully this week he'll start getting some good news coming in. He put his boat up for sale online on Friday night and by Saturday morning had someone willing to put down ernest money on it so Chris doesn't sell it to anyone else. It'll probably be a couple of weeks before we get paid for it, but it'll be a huge help when we do get the money. Oh, and I'm having my first garage sale ever next weekend. We won't make a killing, but hey, every little bit helps.

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Becky, Erin and I hosted a baby shower for Lisa yesterday. It turned out really nice and I had a lot of fun helping organize it. We did a lot of it ourselves. Erin made the invites, Becky made the favors and I made the cake, a sign for the yard and some of the decorations. I didn't take a picture of the cake, but it turned out real cute, which was a relief. It was in the shape of a baby carriage. I'll post a pic if someone will be so kind as to send me one, or put one up on their blog so I can steal it. Got it!


I did, however, take a picture of the yard sign. As we were waiting for guests to arrive, I look out the window just in time to see a dog wander up to my sign, give it a good sniff and then lift his leg! The nerve. So, I had to take a picture of course. This was taken after the shower and it was a windy day. Add to that the pee, and my sign looked a bit harried at this point.

I find it sad that the only picture I took of my lovely friend Lisa's shower was of a sign that had been peed on. What does that say about me?

When I got home from the shower, I thought I'd lay down for just a bit. I woke an hour later. Chris has been sooo good to me the last couple of days. He kept Clara on Friday while I went to help decorate for the shower, then on Saturday during the shower and then again everytime I sneak in one of these little cat naps.

I'm just now getting hit with the tiredness. We woke around 7:00 am on Saturday and I laid down for a nap by 9:45. To be fair, I didn't sleep real well the night before. I was up with a severe sore throat and Clara woke coughing around 1:00 am. It took half an hour to get her back down.

Anyway, after my little nap on Saturday evening, it was close to 7:00 and we hadn't eaten dinner yet. We packed some sandwiches and hit the park with Erin, Glenn and Becky, and Micah and Lisa. As we were leaving, it was already dark. Clara tripped and skinned one knee pretty badly. We got a band-aid on it and she was doing a little better. Then we stood in the parking lot talking for awhile and she started running around again and tripped a second time! Double owie! She scraped her other knee this time and got the first one even worse. Poor baby. I felt so bad for her. She cried the whole way home. I thought she'd be over the tripping over her own feet stage by this summer, but apparently not. She just doesn't pay attention when she's walking, so I have a feeling she'll have scraped knees for a long time to come.

The Worst Part

So far, the worst part about being unemployed is, hands down, the fish breath.

I've always bought premium dog food for our canine companions. I believe that just like us, they need nutritious food without a lot of fillers to stay healthy. (Also, you end up feeding them less of the good stuff because it's not loaded with the fillers and their, um, waste is not near as nasty as when you feed them cheap food.) Don't mind me, just trying to justify my choice in dog food to all my loyal readers out there that buy Ol Roy.

Anyway, premium dog food just isn't in the budget when you haven't got much moola coming in, so I hit up the dog food aisle in Target last week. Zoe has always had a little bit of a sensitive stomach. We eventually figured out that she may be allergic to chicken, which is the main ingredient in most dog food, so we've always gotten lamb formulas.

So, I'm perusing the dog food, trying to find one without chicken. Lo and behold, Purina makes a salmon formula for sensitive systems. Well, by golly, that sure fits the bill. Oh. My. Goodness. We've got fish breath like you would not believe around here.

Absolute worst part about Chris' unemployment. (That, and we're running low on diapers and so I'll be attempting you-know-what again starting tomorrow.)

The Price You Pay for Coolness

Booger! I lost all my links. May take a while to get everyone back up there. Also, I'm turning off comment moderation cause it's a pain in the patootie.

Miss Manners

Clara has become quite the Miss Manners lately. Just thought I'd write down a sampling of some of the things she's been saying.

--If she's trying to get by you and you're in her way, she'll say "Excuse me."

--She says thank you even for the mundane, like kissing an owie, changing her diaper, wiping her face, putting on her shoes, etc. She understands what it means and uses it appropriately and unprompted.

--She says "Bless you" when you sneeze.

--When Mommy or Daddy sit down to do our business, she gets all worried and comes up, rubs our back and asks "Ok, Daddy?" and ""Ok, Mommy?" On second thought, that one's not so much sweet as it is downright annoying.

--Speaking of, the other day, I stood up and said, "Mommy has to go potty", to which she responded by following me to the bathroom while patting my bum, saying "Mommy, poo poo?" over and over. I was like, "No, go away! I just have to pee." That'll teach me to announce my business.

--If she starts crying and whining about something, like for a drink on the way home for example, I explain that she needs to be patient and we'll get one when we get home. If I have to remind her to be patient, she says with an awesome sigh, "Oh-kay." (Almost like, "if you say so"; you know the tone.)

--Forgot one. In the morning she tells you "Good morning" and will ocassionally ask "Did you sleep well?" No joke. Ask Aunt Tanya.

On the Home Front

Today, we got up early to get Chris' boat out of storage to get it cleaned up to sell. (We've been planning to sell it for awhile, now we've just had a fire lit under us.) We took it to a car wash to power wash the deck and then home to wash the sides and take pictures of it.

I decided to wash the car while he washed the boat. It needed it and it was a nice, overcast day. Clara loved "helping" and was drenched by the end. She only washed one spot and quickly exhausted the suds in the bucket. After that, we went and got Clara a cheap celing fan for her room. We were hoping to save electricity by running our ceiling fan at night, so we couldn't very well let Clara melt in her room while it was nice and breezy in ours. She must've had quite a busy day, because she napped for over 3 hours.

This evening, Micah and Lisa treated us to a lovely pizza buffet for dinner and to celebrate baby. Clara hadn't seen Micah in quite a while, so she was sure excited to sit next to him and share a good meal and some good conversation with he and Lisa. We're so blessed to have such wonderful friends. Thanks guys!

Earning Her Keep

We had to put the baby to work. No more free loaders here at the Judd house. Anyone need an experienced carwasher? I guarantee she'll get one spot on your vehicle squeaky clean.

The Long Drive Home

We left Albuquerque around 6:30 am on Wednesday. Clara did remarkably well the entire trip. We stopped for an early lunch in Clovis, NM, and a short stop in Grandpa's old stomping ground for a picture just for Grandpa. Muleshoe boasts a large monument to a noble creature. You guessed it, the mule. If you can read the inscription on the sign, it really makes you feel for the guy. He really got the short end of the stick, didn't he? I think he should replace the eagle as our national symbol. He deserves it.



Clara really didn't like the noble mule, though.

We got gas in Lubbock and I drove from Lubbock to Abilene. We hit a park in Abilene so Clara could burn off some energy and got an early dinner and gas there as well. We decided to cut through Waco and College Station instead of going up to Dallas. We had never driven that way and it was a very nice drive. We only stopped one more time for gas and to stretch our legs a few miles before Bryan. After that, Clara started getting cranky and it took a good 15 minutes of singing and rubbing her leg to get her to calm down and go to sleep. She slept until we got home, around midnight.

As we got closer to Houston, I could see the humidity hanging in the air under the lights on the interstate. It was a lovely sight to behold. Wonderful, natural, moisture; no more relying on a plastic frog to pump out my moisture. No siree. That was when I knew I was home.

The next day, Clara was a little toot, which was to be expected. We picked the dogs up and just took it easy. She'd doing better now, but she's still being a little more ornery than usual. I think with Chris being home and things just being a little up in the air and not what she's used to, she senses something is up, but she's definitely enjoying having Daddy home.

Baby Blog

I've started a blog just for baby related things, so if you'd like the address, just send a comment with your email address if I don't have it. I turned on comment moderation for the time being, so I won't publish those comments.

I really wanted to do a pregnancy journal with Clara but never did, so I want to try to be diligent with this one. I don't want to put a link up letting just anyone click on over, what with the bare belly pics and gross pregnant bodily function discussions that will surely arise.

Also, you that are not interested in seeing my bare belly on a weekly basis won't have to shield your eyes every time you come to my blog. Nor will you have to worry about me using the words "breast" or "cramping" or "gassy" or other even worse words.

You're welcome.

A Bad Case of the Mondays

Well, I'm back! We got back home around midnight last night after leaving Albuquerque at 6:30 am. I do plan on writing about the entire trip, just not right now. I'm going to start off with the "big day" as I'll call it, so check back if you want to read about the relatively uneventful aspects of the trip. I want to keep everything in order, so they'll be below this one.

Alrighty, here goes. This past Monday, Clara, Grandma, Grandpa and I had big plans to go to the Children's Museum. It was a great museum with lots of things to do. Clara loved it. We went during toddler time, so there weren't a bunch of big kids in the way.

Here, Clara is "flying" a model airplane. Notice the wind in her hair?

And here are lots and lots of Clara's.

I had to include this next picture because I never realized I was this weird. I mean, look at me. This was a heat sensing camera and look at my extremities. That's just wrong. I had flip flops on and lifted my foot up and lo and behold, it was black too. I wasn't feeling particularly cold, either. Clara's got some piercing hot eyes doesn't she?

This was the coolest elevator ever. It was huge and was decorated like a living room so you could sit on the couches. I just stood there dumbfounded for a second because I didn't realize it was an elevator until the doors started to close.


As we stepped off the elevator, I got a call from Chris. He wanted to speak to his mom. It sounded like something was up, but she walked away and I commented to Dan that they must be telling secrets about us. She came back over a minute or two later and hands the phone back to me. I get back on and ask Chris if he was telling secrets about me. Turns out he actually was telling her a secret. He wanted to tell her first so I didn't have to recount the following conversation.

Chris: "I'm flying in to Albuquerque to spend a couple of days with you and help you drive back."

Me: "Why? I'm leaving tomorrow anyway. I'm fine to make the drive myself."

Chris: "No I really want to come."

Me: "Why? That's a lot of money."

Chris: "Well, I lost my job this morning."

Me: ???????????????????????????????????????????

(At this point I shed a few tears, ask what happened, yada, yada, yada. You get the picture.)

Chris: "You don't need to worry. God will take care of us; I'm not worried a bit. We'll be fine." (All the standard things you say to a wife in this situation.)

Me: "It's just that this is the worst possible timing."

Chris: "No it's not. We don't need to worry."

Me: "No, Im serious. Couldn't be timed any worse."

Chris: "Why's that?"

Me: "I was going to wait to tell you when I got home, but I guess now's as good a time as any. I found out Friday that I'm pregnant."

(I'll wait for everyone to pick their jaws up off the floor. You back with me?)

Soooooo, we're fine. I'm serious. We both have such a peace about this whole situation and both of us are certain that that peace is from God. At first there was shock, feelings of betrayal and a lot of confusion. Still a little confused, actually, but we really just feel content. We thank God for this new life inside of me and are so excited about the idea of a new baby to love. We're actually a little excited to see where God is taking us. He's taken care of us through other obstacles and we know that he has a plan for us. We don't believe it was a mere coincidence that I got pregnant right before this happened since we've been trying to conceive since last summer. We just can't see the whole picture yet.

So, please pray for us and don't be worried about us (at least not yet.)

There's more I wanted to write about Monday's happenings since at this point in the story it's only about 11:00 am, but I'll add to the post later. Let the commenting begin! You think I can get 20?

I'm back with the rest of the day's events. We weren't up for much of anything at this point. Getting a call like that kinda puts a damper on your fun, ya know? So we headed home for some lunch. Clara was fussy on the drive home and when we got home. I'm sure she could sense my unrest. When we got home, Linda was kind enough to feed Clara for me and entertain her for a little while while I got on the computer to get a flight for Chris.

All of the flights for that day and the next two cost the same amount, so we went ahead and got him on a flight that night. After using the credit we had from Clara and my flights, we had to pay $2.00 for Chris to come. He had lots to get done before getting down to Hobby to fly out at 6:45.

Glenn and Becky were yet again waiting in the wings to do everything they could to help us out. They were there to talk with Chris when he left the office that morning. They kept all three dogs for us and Becky drove Chris all the way to Hobby. They're saints. Not sure how we got so lucky. So Chris ends up sitting next to two elderly hispanic women who were scared to death on the airplane. They chanted the rosary in spanish for an entire hour! Poor guy, but he didn't want to be rude and get up and move. What a nice guy.

Back in Albuquerque, I began making phone calls. We probably would've waited to tell people about the baby, but circumstances what they were, we didn't want to keep it a secret. I called my mom, Linsey and Becky. I also had to call Aunt Jacki to let her know Clara and I wouldn't be spending the night on our trip home after all. I didn't tell her about baby, though because I hadn't told my mom yet. It was such a huge load lifted off my shoulders to just get it out. I felt much better.

I tried to nap, but there was no way I could sleep. My mind was going 100 mph. Clara woke up early from her nap very distraught. She had her last dose of eardrops the night before, so I think she may have still been in some pain. She wouldn't go to Grandma or sit and watch a movie, nothing. I gave her some Motrin and she felt better soon afterwards. Thank goodness, because that was one day I could NOT deal with a whiney, inconsolable 2 year old.

Tim came by after he got off work to say goodbye since he thought Clara and I were leaving the next day. We told him the news, so he stuck around to go to the airport with us. Chris' flight was getting in at 7:45, so we got to the airport about 7:35. Of course his plane is delayed until 8:20. We still hadn't had dinner at this point and it's Clara's bedtime. She actually did really well the entire time. When Chris landed, we went to a little diner for dinner and Clara was still on her best behavior. We didn't get home until around 10:30, so we all went straight to bed.

It felt really good to have Chris there. Really good. I know I would've been ok by myself, but it was just such a relief to have him there. I'm glad he came after all.

We decided to go to the zoo the next day to get our minds off of stuff and had a great time. Clara enjoyed herself. She especially liked the chimpanzees, seals and sea lions and the zebras. She gets really excited about zebras even though they don't do much of anything. We watched the seals swim and then watched them playing and sunning on the surface for a long time.




We got the car packed up and took it easy the rest of the day, ready to leave Wednesday morning. That night was the first time Chris and I talked a lot about everything. We laid in bed whispering so as not to wake Clara. We both felt really excited about this next phase and what God was planning for us.

Oh Baby!

My stomach had been feeling a tad uneasy the entire time we were gone on our trip. I had just chalked it up to the traveling and eating foods I'm not used to. I tried really hard not to let my mind drift to the "what if I'm pregnant scenario". You see, when you've tried to conceive for as long as Chris and I have, your mind plays mean tricks on you in those two weeks. I've been convinced several times that I must be pregnant. Well, by Friday the 28th, my curiosity got the best of me.

That evening, as it was approaching Clara's bedtime, I said "I'm going to run to Walgreen's real quick. I'm out of shampoo and toothpaste", and then hoped they wouldn't want to come along. It was just right down the road, so I figured they wouldn't mind if I left the little one for a few minutes. While there, I picked up a package of 2 digital tests. I knew I'd have to take more than one, you know, just to be sure.

After I put Clara to bed, I couldn't wait any longer, so I took the test. The bathroom is right next to the office, where Dan and Linda both were on their computers, so I had to be really quiet and try not to squeal. Then I had to venture out of the bathroom to find my camera to take some pictures. I had trouble getting good ones because of the lighting, so it took several minutes of camera adjustment. I'm sure they were wondering what was going on in there. Or trying really hard not to wonder. I had to make sure there was no sign of pregnancy test stuff laying around, too.

That night, I hardly slept a wink. With such a huge secret and no one to tell, my mind raced all night long. I went back and forth all night trying to decide whether or not to tell his parents before I told Chris. I wanted to tell Chris in person, but how could I make it a week without telling anyone? I guess it would've been pretty safe to tell Clara. I did get some sleep eventually, but everytime I woke up, my mind immediately went to baby, I'd have a huge smile on my face, and then stay awake thinking another half hour before falling back to sleep, with a huge smile on my face.

It was a good night. A good night indeed.

The Journey Continues

I wanted to hit the road by 8:00 am on Wednesday. It was around 8:30 when we were finally ready to leave. Clara woke up cranky, but I thought she just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. There was no way she was going to take the Claritin. By the time we got to Carlsbad, I realized she wasn't feeling well. Nothing I did made her happy. She didn't want to eat snacks, watch movies, play, read or listen to music.


She wasn't too bad for the first half of the trip. We even got out at Roswell, which is half way, and played for a bit on a playground. Soon after we got in the car she was inconsolable. She just couldn't get to sleep. I started singing her lullaby and immediately she was out. Unfortunately, she only stayed asleep for about 15 minutes before waking up crying again.


I pulled over in one small town and just sat in the backseat and held her for awhile. That's all she needed was to be held. I talked to her a bit and asked if she wanted to watch Cinderella, which she did and she climbed back into her seat by herself. She did ok for a little while and then started again. I felt so bad for her.

By the time we were approaching Albuquerque, I was about ready for the looney bin. She put her blanket over her head for about a half hour and cried and finally fell asleep again right as we got to Albuquerque.

We got to the house around 3:00. Needless to say, she wasn't too happy to see Grandma and Grandpa. Not the reception they were hoping for from their one and only grandchild. She slept in my lap for a while and that evening, we made an appointment at an after hours pediatric clinic.

She had lots of wax again that had to be pulled out, something she was NOT fond of. I had to hold her down while she screamed. I should've had Grandma wait in the car. Turns out she had an ear infection. She probably was getting worse as the day went on because we were getting up higher and higher in altitude.

If I had been able to give her the Claritin on Tuesday and Wednesday, she may have been spared the infection. I think the Claritin and humidifier did keep her from getting sick because all the other little ones were running around dripping like faucets. The doctor said that she may have gotten it from fluid getting behind her ears during her vomiting episodes. And after all I did to try to evade the dreaded ear infection. Oh well. She was prescribed the pink stuff and ear drops.

After some Motrin and her first dose of meds that night, she woke up feeling 100% the next morning. The first few days of trying to get medicine in her were not fun. We finally convinced her to drink her medicine for a piece of chocolate and we had her put drops in her baby's ears first. She would then say, "Clara's turn!" and jump up on the bed. Worked like a charm.

Thursday, we took it easy most of the day. We did go feed the ducks and went to Schlotzky's for some lunch just to get out of the house. That night, Uncle Tim came by for hamburgers on the grill and to see Clara. After waking up from our nap that day, my sinuses were starting to hurt, so Linda went with me to go pick up a humidifier. I got a cute frog one. I thought it would go perfect in Clara's big girl room I've been planning for her. It's fairytale themed, so she needed a frog prince humidifier. We left Clara at home with the boys who watched The Bee Movie with her.

Oh yeah, that reminds me. Clara kept saying "I watch eback" and neither I, nor Dan and Linda could figure that one out. While reading her new counting book Grandma made for her, she called a bee "eback". I finally figured out she was calling it a ladybug, or "eback". Duh, Mommy. So, she had been asking to watch The Bee Movie all along.

On Friday, we went to see Horton Hears a Who. It was cute, but did drag during parts. Clara made it though the whole movie. During her time at Grandma and Grandpa's, she spent her down time blowing bubbles, drawing with sidewalk chalk and playing with play doh. All kinds of fun things. That night, we had dinner at The Olive Garden. After dinner is when I passed my test :)

Saturday morning, I caught sight of a hot air balloon out their back window, so we took Clara outside to see it. There are lots of balloooners (is that what you call them?) in Albuquerque, so there are always balloons flying behind their house. This one looked like it was headed right over us and then veered away. We then went to breakfast, which is where I told them about the baby. Linda and I went to the mall and a couple other places looking for a big sister shirt but had no luck. (Good thing, 'cause little did I know I would need to start pinching pennies.) Grandma did find a cute new dress for Clara though.

Sunday came and Clara wore her new dress to church. We saw lots of hot air balloons on the way to church, which Clara loved. She got to be in Grandma's bible school class and didn't make it through church services. Not by a long shot. Even with Grandma and Grandma's friends, Keith and Sherry, there to help entertain her.

She kept lifting up her dress to everyone at church showing them Mickey and Minnie on her diaper. Very ladylike behavior. We went to Chili's with Keith and Sherry after church. I know it was torture for Dan and Linda to not be able to tell their good news but they were good and didn't tell.

A Bad Night

Monday night, after I had everything loaded in the car and finally got in bed, Clara started tossing and turning. She was very restless and around 10:00, I found out why. She threw up a couple of times. It was clear though, no dinner to be found.

Wonderful. Just peachy. Her first stomach bug happens tonight of all nights. After she threw up, she seemed to be doing better and fell back asleep pretty quickly. I got lots of towels to cover the bed and me with because she wanted to lay on me most of the time. Several minutes after falling back to sleep though and she was tossing and turning again. She threw up again at 11:30. And 1:30.

Amazingly, there was not a drop on me, her, or the bed. I've got skills.

As of 1:30 am, I hadn't slept a wink. I was supposed to be up and out of the house at 5:00 to drive over an hour to get on a plane. With a sick child. I decided at this point to get on the computer and see about cancelling our flight. I also needed to email Linda to let her know what was going on.

If she was still sick, I couldn't risk getting in the car and her puking all over herself and her carseat. I would have to put all of the pukey stuff in our baggage to take with us. I couldn't just leave it in a car to cook for a week in the west Texas sun. And what if I were to get sick on the drive or the flight. Oh my goodness, just the thought of that made me sick and I couldn't in good conscience get a whole plane full of people sick. I had been feeling a little queasy and rumbly in the tummy during the night and thought I might be getting it, but I never did throw up.

Around 2:00, I called Southwest because I had no idea what my options were. I was on hold with them for several minutes while Clara slept in my arms. I have to give kudos to SWA on their customer service. The woman I talked to was sooo nice and friendly when I explained our situation. When you cancel a flight, you just have a credit. Anyone can use it and it can be from any airport, so at least we weren't out any money. I looked at flights for the next day if we were up for it, but I had found really good prices on our original tickets, so it would've cost us about $150 more to fly.

I fell asleep around 3:00 or 4:00 and we were up by 8:00. Clara never threw up again and was doing pretty well by the morning. She didn't eat much all day and we just hung out in our pajamas and took it easy before deciding what to do about the Albuquerque trip.

Easter in Pecos

Clara and I left bright and early for Pecos on Wednesday the 19th. Scratch that. It was dark and early. I wanted to get through Houston before rush hour so we left at 6 am.

Before leaving the house, I gave Clara her first dose of Claritin. Her pediatrician recommended it to hopefully keep her from getting sick while on vacation. She gets sick everytime we go, so this time I had my arsenal of defenses ready. I planned on giving her Claritin every day, saline drops in the nose at night and running a humidifier at night.

So we hit the road. My plan was to stop west of Houston for some McDonald's. Well, I got just outside of Houston and the child pukes.

Lesson #1-- Do not give your child medication (especially for the first time) on an empty stomach and then plan to throw them in the car.

Lesson #2-- Do not leave home on a road trip without paper towels. I usually stock up for just such occassions but forgot them this time.

I exited the interstate for cleanup. I cleaned her up as best I could with wet wipes. Her clothes and diaper were soaked so I had to dig into her suitcase, while still dark and chilly out to find her some new ones. Her straps were still damp and would've surely soaked through to her clothes, so I improvised and wrapped a pair of my socks around them to soak up the moisture. This picture also showcases the footrest I fashioned for her myself. I thought that her dangling legs might be why she gets upset close to the end of our trips and starts chewing on her feet. They can go numb from poor circulation due to just dangling, so I made this with a rolled up blanket and shelf liner and I think it may have worked.



I went to get back on the interstate, but the access road dead-ended, so I couldn't get back on going the right direction. I had to backtrack a few miles before turning around. Despite a rough start, the rest of the trip was fairly uneventful. We made good time and pulled into Pecos at 4:30.

Here are a few random shots from the week. Most of the trip was spent hanging out watching the kids play. Getting dirty in the backyard is definitely the favorite activity of those under 4 feet tall. Wyatt and Clara loved playing together. Wyatt loves to hug, but usually can't find a willing participant, so he relished having Clara around. They were so cute. Clara shared her dress up shoes and bunny and Minnie Mouse ears with him, too. I was considerate of his future feelings and didn't take a picture.

Thursday we went to the park and zoo for lunch and playtime with Bia, Myrt Myrt, Clayton, Tanya and the boys. Here, Aunt Myrt is trying to corral all the little ones while the other adults sat in the shade and snapped pictures.

Friday, Tim and Linsey arrived for the weekend and we decorated cupcakes and easter eggs. The last one is Clara biting into a boiled egg.

Saturday we went out to the farm for our Easter egg hunt. The farm is where my grandpa lives. It's out in the country down a long dirt road and isn't really a farm, per se. It's more of a junkyard. Big John is a collector of junk. The farm, with its rusty tractors, unidentifiable equipment and old broken down vehicles provides endless hours of fun for little ones. We haven't had an Easter egg hunt out there since Memaw died, so it was suggested we do that this year. It's a good thing we did it the day before because it was wet and cold on Sunday.

Easter egg hunts out at the farm are not your typical egg hunts. It's like extreme egg hunting. You're gonna get dirty. And there are sure to be eggs that were overlooked and are found months from now, especially when you allow my cousin John to hide some of them.

The six of us hanging out

On Sunday, we rumaged through our Easter baskets, went to church, tried to get a group pic and had lunch at Joe and Myrt's.

I got packed up on Monday, ready to drive to Midland at 5 am the next morning. Clara and I were flying from Midland to Albuquerque to visit Chris' parents for a week.