It is a pretty strange and miraculous feeling I'm experiencing right now. Writing in the midst of hundreds of commuters spending a quarter of a tenth of their time awake queuing for public transport. I've come to a realization that I am in fact part of this society that spends most of their leisure time waiting to be ferried to their next destination, only to realize that the time could be better spent doing something more worthwhile. But it's necessary isn't it.
The soft clicking sound as I type away on the iPhone keypad creates this entirely new atmosphere - despite the whole bus station being filled with crying kids and nasty parents who keep balloons away from their rightful owners. Typing non - stop on an electronic device (like an iPhone) immediately puts me in a position of envy. One which people yearn to be in in their current lonely and desperate dispositions
Elderly people would be hoping they had their men to walk (I meant walkman). Foreigners hoping they had their bloody iPads. And kids wishing they had their digital monsters to destroy the villains who snark their balloons.
In fact, all this writing just distracts me from the actual anxiety I'm feeling from taking a bus that is supposedly bringing me to some place near my new home which is exactly 5.8km away. It doesn't exactly make sense all of a sudden to be taking public transport alone now - considering that I'm almost half asleep and trying to type incredibly fast to keep myself from dozing off before I reach the eighteenth stop at which I am supposed to alight at.
Okay I have no idea what I'm trying to get at with all this gibberish.
Been resisting the only constant in the world to no avail. The unwillingness to express weakness in any form. The inability to tolerate weakness. It all sums up to fear.
The more you hide it, the more it shows.
The more you want it, the more you won't.
Bits and pieces of sorrow and woes.
Fear ignites the human soul.
Work your magic and drive me mad.
My thirst and rage won't make me sad.
Mark the moments of doubts and despair.
It'll always matter - all major affairs.
Control, Confidence, Risk, Meaning and Power.
The lack of honesty.
A matter of dispute.
Trust.
