the entire week was simply awesome, and it slipped away just like that.
aww man. -.-
i just returned from pulau aur, malaysia (atlantis bay) just 2 days ago from my Marine Conservation Trip with Ngeeann's dive team of 16.
and life was simply marvelous out there by the open sea.
you literally just SLEEP, EAT, DIVE. (oh, i think these 3 words happen to form the slogan of some dive company.)
everyday was amazing. and i had loads of fun with the girls there.
THERE WAS ONE PARTICULAR LIL GIRL WHO WAS SERIOUSLY REALLY VERY VERY CUTE.
too bad i still don't have the pictures from the trip yet. BUT I CAN SHOW YOU ONE!
it was on her DP on MSN! :D
lemme' see.. and here you go! :


gee. i don't think i got her permission to publish her picture like that.
but. shhhhhhh-
she's in her dive gear, wetsuit and all. AND I SNAPPED THAT SHOT!! (ohkay, and i'm really proud of that! HAHA!)
and yeah, her name is Amelia Ng. BIT Year 1. she's only 141 CM!!!!
ROAR. she's really really adorable, and sweet. serious.
and i guess i'll stop at that. (if not i'll just keep going on about how much i like her so. lol.)

anyway, our team managed to complete the building of 4 artificial reef structures and 2 marine buoys ahead of schedule, which then left us with enough time for a leisure dive at Lang Bay.
if you ask me how the dives were, i would only be able to tell you WOAH, IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
then if you ask me what i saw underwater, i would only be able to tell you I SAW A BUMP HEAD PARROTFISH, A RESIDENT TURTLE, A SCHOOL OF BARACUDAS, CUTTLEFISH, ANGELFISHES, NEON COLOURED FISHES, CLOWNFISHES GUARDING THEIR CHILDREN IN THE ANEMONE, AND RAVISHING CORAL REEFS.
but you wouldn't be able to know how splendid it was, being down there, than the illusion you form in your head.
so i guess i'll let the pictures do the talking.
i swear i'll upload every single one of them the moment i lay my hands on the pictures. (:
just to mention, i really had a lot of fun with amelia, amelia, michelle, delphine, veronica, and charis. YAY.

NEXT THING UP ON MY TO DO LIST:
VERTEX! THE HIGHEST POINT!
i'm really excited about it. and it's this saturday.
so many things to do, so little time. I NEED TO SELL 120 TICKETS FOR MY CONCERT.
my heart's thumping like mad now.
but i guess, this is just gonna be it. (:
hahaha.
had loads of fun car washing with ruth and the car washers.
then lunch at pasta mania and tea at Starbucks was AWESOME too.
spent loads of time destressing and just having fun with ruth at vivo. heehee.
(:

now, i guess its time to get things up and going! :D
WOOHOO.


feels great to be back. feels weird to be far from you.

it's been AGESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS since i posted with a Title. and I decided to use one finally because, ...
BECAUSE I JUST WANT TO. anyway, its supposed to keep you on track so you don't write out of point right?
just like how compositions are written and graded. So lets see just how well i'll fare with the Title i just gave myself. (not too good currently, considering the fact that i just spent a whole lot of time writing crap above.)

I was just logging into my friendster account after centuries of neglecting it ever since i found it irritatingly slow like molasses in january, especially at night when net traffic is monstrous.
So i was randomly clicking links that were choking the web page. (ohkay, not linkS. but just A LINK.) and i got onto AGNES TAN's PAGE! oh goodness.
there is a reason definitely. SHE LOOKED HOT in her primary photo. and yeah, it was just second nature to be attracted to someone hot and alluring right?! (just ignore the fact that she's female and i am too.)
then i went back to the homepage. and.... just stared blankly at those lil' pictures all over the page. then i saw a 3 digit number that caught my eye at the top right hand corner.


WELL- yeah. apparently I happen to have 308 friends.
but i highly doubt myself for possessing such an ability to cope with such an enormous social circle. and i proved myself right.
out of the 6 pictures of "friends" displayed. I only MET and SPOKE TO 3. jesline, melvyn and aloysius. the other 3 are just galactics to me. I have a faint impression of who they are and what their names are (DUH) though ...
anyway. i felt like some friendster phony.
believe it or not. i'm probably one of those many nincompoops with hundreds of friends on friendster, but only knows a few. oops.
but its really a matter of pride and reputation. its common sight to have a few hundreds of friends. and deleting anyone of them would probably leave a really bad impression of myself when they figure out (though that is really unlikely since they also have loads of friends and prolly won't realise the figure went down numerically by 1.)
oh wells. so it still boils down to square one. i will still remain a friendster phony. till i really go crazy and delete that friggin' account.
haha.

and i just realised i'm a facebook noob. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO WORK IT OR NAVIGATE AROUND IT. -.-
great. thanks technology. you just made humans dumb. so much for globalization.
okay, i'm off to recuperate for my dive trip tomorrow. ciaos`

YAY!
EXAMS ARE OVER.
YFC IS DOING AWESOME.
AND TML IS MY DIVE TRP.
:D

hoho;
i will be away from tml to friday.
(:

my self declared holiday mood isn't helping at all.
LOL! it is POA tml.
but i'm more concerned with what's going to happen after that,
than what's going to happen during the paper, especially when i haven't been putting in my all.
heehee.

OH YEH-
something really caught my eye when i was watching Olympics Beach Volleyball (Men).
They had the word BRA printed on their chest and their back!
WTH!?
and then i realized.. they were players from BRAzil.
hahahaha.
what a retarded thing to say. lalala.


Gary will do well for BLAW! (:

IT WORKED!
close your eyes.
but don't stop taking breaths.
you'll get your answer.
and your mind becomes much clearer.
:D


haven't talked to kaung in AGESSSS.
and i had a lot of fun chatting with him through sms the other day.
apart from the confession that he grew just sliiiightly chubbier,
he was really the same ol' happy go lucky, cheerful and always smiling kaung.
haha - and talking to him brings back memories; of all sorts.
come to think of it..
he was really a great friend (though i know i often got irritated, angry, and upset)
yeah- and thanks to the Olympics Women Table Tennis (Team) Finals, I owe him a treat.
a rather huge one.

today was DIFFERENT.
zhuang ying had a pretty bad stomach ache to start off with.
and i had fainting spells on the way to meeting her.
so it was rather sad;
she had to rush to school to use the toilet.
while i was lying unconscious on the platform of dhoby ghaut mrt station.
ROAR.
speaking of which, I WAS SERIOUSLY UPSET ABOUT THE INCIDENT.
...
it was like any other mrt ride to outram station from hougang.
and as usual, the seats were all taken.
So i was reading mypaper, and started to stare at the picture of Lee Jiawei on the front cover. I still remember the heading was "Good as Gold"
[I also vividly remember discriminating Jade. S, on her not - that - captivating reports on Today in Beijing. She may be beautiful, but not as charming and breathtaking as Cheryl Fox or Suzanne Ho (or was it Koh? lol) of CNA.]
then i started to feel all faint and weak, and i could hear my breath and heartbeat throbbing in my ears.
so i was looking desperately at the person sitting directly in front of me,
and all she did was give me that "don't-pretend-you're-sick-cause-i'm-never-going-give-up-my-seat" look. and she decided to take out her Today paper to browse.
So my nect desperate measure was to sms zhuang ying, though i have no idea how that would help.
and honestly, the next thing i knew it, i woke in the midst of 2 uncles and one pretty lady. (she smelled really pretty too.)
the uncles were busy dialing numbers off my speed dial list and my call registers.
then they even attempted to dial 995.
YEAH. RIGHT. if every human who experiences fainting spells calls for an ambulance,
then i guess the hotline would be ringing non stop.
[oh! did i mention? they were curious why they couldn't find a Dad or Mom or Bro or Sis in my contact list. And the answer was pretty simple - to guard against people like them. Imagine if I were to lose my phone, and someone picked it up and rang my mum up to ask for a friggin' ransom. WTH? no way. ringing my mum up to give her a false alarm that her daughter was immobile on an mrt station would also be sufficient enough to warrant me a death sentence.but of course, i still have their numbers in my contact list.]
i got up on my feet, grabbed my mobile and shooed them into the train by thanking them profusely.
it took a while to compose myself and board the next train.
and even on the next mrt, it still felt terrible since my vision was really unclear.
but SERIOUSLY.
i can't help but condemn that human who didn't care about me even when i was close to collapsing in front of her.
oh wells. thank goodness there is still the existence of helpful uncles and pretty office ladies.
:D
but business management was still alright i guess. YOOHOO!
and now i'm in a self declared holiday mood.

The Olympic Games in Beijing this year has been phenomenal,
with MAGNIFICENT athletes like Michael Phelps.
WOW. yeah. i'm just going to exalt him like how the whole of USA and the world already has done for making himself a WORLD RECORD, apart from all the WORLD RECORDS he has set and broken.
BUT - I REALLY LOVE SEEING HIM SWIM THE BUTTERFLY STROKE.
even Kitajima of Japan or Tancock of Great Britain isn't as captivating when they swim. [maybe it's because he's much taller, so he occupies more of the screen and captures more attention. HAHA!]
8 GOLD OLYMPIC MEDALS. ROAR.
way to go. way. to go.
(:
apart from the phelps craze.
I've been extremely obsessed with this gymnast from China called YiLin.
She's really CUTEEEEEEEE and extremely flexible.
light as a feather, her twists, pikes and landings are firm yet graceful.
too bad Liukin has more experience.
BUT ALL I KNOW IS YILIN STILL ROCKS.
gooooooooooo~
[i'm friggin' disappointed when vic said the telecast of yilin wasn't on tonight. but he still gets to watch his yuanyuan because he recorded the live telecast!!!! T.T ROAR. -yuanyuan is YuYuan, another gymnast from China.]
oh wells.
I SHALL WATCH YILIN ON YOUTUBE. (:
and YEAH! THE FASTEST GUY ON EARTH FROM JAMAICA HAS A PAIR OF HOT TRACK SHOES.
WOOHOO- they GLEAM. because it's GOLD.
hohoho.
if only he threw that to the audience to keep as souvenir. [then i think i would have substantial evidence to believe that he was in an incorrect state of mind.]
hmmmm.
ahh.
that's about all.

that nerve wrecking moment. teehee.

when you're doing something.
its not about the number of people who are concerned with how well you are doing.
but the number of people who are concerned with how well you are physically and emotionally while doing it.

thanks so much, for being there.
(:


heart wrenches.
those solemn gloomy moments.
even white walls can become distractions.
desperately searching for some space where i can find peace within myself.
pretty helpless now.
some sorrowful state i'm in.
dwelling in self pity.
no tears would fall.
because then it'll be the perfect drama for all to gloat.
maybe it'll all go away.
go away if i close my eyes.
go away if i take no breaths.
go away.

where're you when i need you most...

all too suddenly,
they all fade away.
and silently, the whispers,
urges me to stay.

WELL!
today was fantabulous.
met theresa in the morning. (:
then went over to gary's to revise my macroeconomics.
and i thought it was pretty productive.
(:

the swensen's treat was . motivating.
and gary rocks. <3
i'm really sorry for being insensitive.


roar.
now all it takes is just another spurt of energy to keep that momentum going.
(:

have you heard or seen or experienced a toothpaste burn?
the alkalinity ...
burns.
be real careful when brushing your teeth.
leave no residue of that white fluid behind.
worst still if you leave it on overnight.
you get a burn.
and now i have an awful scab on my face.
T.T *cries*

please peel off soonnn.

so i have PEOPLE complaining that i'm trying to camouflage by not revealing details of my self in my blog and profiles.
(aren't those details already on the right?!!)
so here's the list of things required to be added in:
No.1 My Personal Likes and Dislikes
No.2 A Personal wish list of fetishes
No.3 A List of Schools been to and attended
No.4 Photographs of anything and everything I've been in contact w/
and No.5 Futuristic goals and dreams

so instead of succumbing to such opinions.
(and after much serious thought,)
i've decided to stand firm in my views on such matters.
First; i don't develop a habit of revealing my likes and dislikes,
since they change over time. and change is the only thing constant in this world.
so to keep things simple, i just leave it out.
besides, i don't think its beneficiary to anybody on this earth to know what i like or dislike. and even if i do think it would be of benefit, exactly how many humans would pass by this profile or take note of it?
if you really are dying to know what i seriously like and dislike, here's one. I LIKE GARY and I DISLIKE DURIAN.
yeah. done.

then about the list of things i crave. HAHA.
actually after thinking it through, i really didn't mind revealing it.
because i have a lot of things i yearn for,
and its constantly building up on a daily basis!
hehehe. like for instance,
today i was craving chicken rice, and chocolate chip vanilla muffins, the burberry blue label tote bag, japan's sashimi and ramen, and lots of music.
and yesterday i was crazy over 2 tracks, a book, and squid ink pasta.
and the day before yesterday was a korean drama, a new cell phone, caramel coated hot balls, fried mars bars and bubble tea.
and the day before the day before yesterday i was dying to get myself a subway sandwich, a slice of new york cheesecake, a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream from ben and jerry's.
so .. yeah.
guess that was pretty long and boring.
WELL! and that's the point. it gets long and boring.
i tried it before. and before long,
i found it tiresome to update it too.
anyway, nobody is going to fulfill my sudden cravings,
and only i and i alone can do it.
so i'll just keep it to myself, and do the best i can to satisfy my own self!
MAKES SENSE. (:

the third is pretty weird. but if you really want to know which school i came from, you can check out my friendster profile.
it lists my primary and secondary school.
DUH-
if you ask me about my childcare centre;
i only can offer my apologies- i totally forgot the name of the centre.
lol.
but the more i ponder,
the more i think it is seriously unnecessary to do so.
people who know me, and would ever come across my profile,
would know me from a certain school or institution.
which means, they know the school i'm in.
haha!

No.4 Photographs of anything and everything i've been in contact with
LOL- my response consists of 4 words, (to keep things short and sweet)
I DO NOT CAMWHORE.
(and its really redundant to take a picture of my red vaio, or my pen, or my remote, or my tv, or my organiser, or my cell, or my comb, or my shampoo, or my table, or my sofa etcetc. you get the point.)

and LASTLY.
my futuristic goals are of no concern to any human existing on this earth.
since nobody else apart from myself is capable of achieving them to make my life successful.
i dream. but i don't dream dreams.
and besides, if dreams are realistic,
they aren't really dreams anymore.
they are more like little cravings you want so much, they creep into the subconscious human mind.
so yeah.
(:

i guess. that wraps it up.
i'm sorry. (:

i'm starting to think about my secondary school days.
and how fun it was somehow.
(:

lol. probably if i could go back in time.
i wouldn't mind reliving those days again!
but right now. i'm still contented.

ROAR;
I WANT TO GO TO JAPAN SO BAD.
:(

my ultimate macroeconomics revision failed.
because i was simply distracted.
no nds. no music.
just one photo.
and it captured my heart.
(add on my attention and concentration)
lol.

so i conclude the end of yet another unsuccessful attempt at studying.
but i guess it was worthwhile.
(: staring blankly allows you space to really dwell into situations and think.
though you do get a little drowsy.
oh wells.

i can't wait to see your smile.
(:

lol-
its great to take breaks.
(:
then when breaks become too long.
you realize you haven't accomplished much.
but oh well.
it was fun staying at home;
and it's going to be even more fun!
:D

its not about the number of things i can do at home.
but more like the number of things i can't do not being at home.
at home,
you enjoy a free and endless supply of fresh air, hot drinks, entertainment, and relaxation.

but i guess i still have to study!
:D its amazing why there's still so much time left.
HEEHEE.
2 more modules to go!
and my current motto in life? - JUST CHIONG.

one of the most desired pleasures in my life, is to study and relax concurrently.
and its simply paradise now.
HAHA!
woohooooooo`


the weather is simply fantastic to just snooze.
BUT I'VE DECIDED NOT TO!
(what a great and awesome decision right. xD)
and i've decided to READ THROUGH SOME NOTES!
(yet another prudent and wise choice! HAHA!)

okay. enough of my self praise. don't want to end up becoming a world disgrace.
and yeah-
i'm currently hooked onto 2 tracks.
I Kissed a Girl by Kate Perry; and
Life is Good by Nathan Hartono.

lol. but i'm really lazy to change my flashfetish player.
so i'll just leave it at that. Disturbia isn't that disturbing anyway.
gee.

oh yeahs,
and one more thing.
i swear i'll buy the book EAT, PRAY, LOVE by Elizabeth Gilbert.
lalala.
OH. i just realized i relished all the desires i've been keeping inside for the week!
:D

okay.
off i go now.
to study. haha!
i think. (:

yayyyy-
now i'm wide awake.
:D

GOODLUCK GARY!
FOR YOUR FIRST PAPER TML!
heaps and piles and mountain loads of LUCK!
but i think you have enough intelligence to cover that eh.
HAHA-
:D




Right.
today was pretty tiring.
i finally figured why adults would dislike meetings so much.
they cause brain fatigue.
dozens of people talk all at the same time at different speeds.
so you need to use BOTH ears to catch every word,
pin them together according to the human speaking,
and make sense of it.
you absorb so many comments, opinions, reviews, ideas, and information all at one shot.
you experience an overload.
to top it off,
you need to process them, note them down, and get it done ASAP.
woohoo.
so i guess my brain couldn't take it.
especially since i've been soaking up the Budget Speech 2008.
ROAR. plus.
i was functioning on an empty tummy.
fortunately lunnerat gary's saved my day.
(lunner just means a meal between lunch and dinner. you remove ch from lunch, and din from dinner, and you get that crap word.)
so i read a little. and slept a little.
went to the Coffee Bean for SUPPER!!!!!!!
that seriously woke me up from that dreamy daze i was in.
Sunrise Ice Blended was just LAVISH!
paired with a rather normal tasting slice of chocolate sponge cake topped with thick chocolate fondant and layered with chocolate cream.
okay. that flavorful drink perked me up right to the Himalayas.
hees.

walking home was much fun.
met ngee bing along the way and found out he lived very near me.
but meeting him was pretty frightening.
he just popped up beside me suddenly. ROAR.
and its the SEVENTH MONTH on the Chinese calendar.
i'm not superstitious. but i just reacted like a normal human.
you see the bigggggg tentage put up to host a altar table and statues of Chinese deities. you think about their purpose in setting up. then someone suddenly breathes beside you.
ROAR. its only normal to jerk suddenly.
hahaha.
oh wells.

okay.
i really had this urge to change my blogskin.
because gladys' blog was pretty.
HAHA.
but i couldn't pick one i fancied.
so i gave up.
BUT I CHANGED THE BG SOUND.
(:
and its currently playing on my iTunes.

off i go.
ciaos`!

i just wonder.
if she's me.

it is the little thoughts that count.
they go a long way;
and they make vast differences.

i believe - big changes start small.
(:


the NDP preview was fantastic.
I loved the fireworks at the very least.
it was an absolutely spectacular visual display of beauty in the moonlit sky.
and it was even more ravishing with people beside you admiring the same scene.

time to start studying tml! :D

OK.
basically, i've come up with certain goals to achieve in the short run.
-to remain composed in every situation put into.
-to study.
-to take in stride what may or may not come by.

that's... it.

i seem to always lose my composure the moment i detect the slightest form of agitation and fury within myself these days.
yes- do take note.
it's - these days.
ever since... June.
its amazing how i managed to notice this change internally.
that ever fluctuating mood.
and it's getting from bad to worse.
my anger management- is ZILK.
i tend to blow up.
especially since my tolerance level is SERIOUSLY thin.
as compared to months before.
and i have revealed much of my evil-est side.
LOL. and i confess.
i know i can be worse than that;
should i erupt.
erupting and blowing up is 2 different things.
but nothing should trigger an eruption.
unless you offend me.
(and to prevent any offensive sort of action against me, i've decided never to reveal what will offend me, or which will trigger an aggressive reaction from me.)
but here's this little thing i know about myself. (that i also feel safe revealing)
if you cross my line. and still keep walking. be it deliberate or unintentional.
i'll destroy you.
crush you from within.
words can kill.
and i kill with words.
but yeah,
apart from that.
i think i need to regain that tolerance level.
and i know it wouldn't be that hard.


studying. is fundamental.
especially when i'm trying to survive in an environment with thriving geniuses.
pitting my intelligence against theirs is just utterly... tiresome.
but honestly, the kind of satisfaction you get when you achieve something.
that feeling is just, great.
intrinsic motivation just sets in,
and you will strive to do even better than before.
so yea,
study.
get into one of those subsidized positions in the 4 publicly funded universities in Singapore.
and strive to do my family proud. (even though my parents don't seem to take pride in grades. -.-)

taking things into stride is.. significant.
you become more optimistic.
then the sky appears blue.
and you feel cheery.
then the world becomes a brighter and more beautiful.
:D





with hind sight,
i knew i had it coming all along.
all that bottled up rage and discontentment.
it was just a matter of time before i snapped.
and it was a fortunate thing,
that i cracked up w/o her being near by.
or it would have been a direct hit.
and the damage and consequences might be severe.
but i really meant every word i said.
and my intention at that point was to do harm.
i know i made sense. and reasons still stand true.
i guess i have cooled down from that day's events.
but i know it would just take a spark to cause yet another cross fire again.

ugh-
i'll just accomplish my short term goals.
and everything should fall into place.
(:

the number with a start. a middle. and an end.
(:

Sylvia. Syl. And someone you'll never expect me to be.