POA COMMON TEST IS FINALLY OVER!
*phew*
well. i think i worked hard for it.
and i deserve a pat on my back *pats back*
heehee. :D
at least i know i'll pass. woohoo~
good luck to every one else for the next few papers coming up!
haha.
so yeah.
if you're curious why i haven't been blogging much here,
all i can say is,
its written somewhere else.
lol.
:P
anyway,
i've started to feel over contented!
to the extent that i'm neglecting macroeconomics!
and i think my macroecons file is crying in my bag.
gosh.
maybe i should comfort it by taking out and reading through huh-
:D
can't wait for the holidays.
(:
The Fabulist.
; a teller of tales
; a composer of fables
; a liar.
ultimately, i'm utterly amazed by myself.
lie told after lie.
sometimes, even lies i make up sound true to me.
its all about deception.
the greatest lie told,
would be to disguise the fact that lies have been confabulated before.
a flawless lie told,
would be perceived to be the absolute truth even years after.
no worries.
the ad extremum is not to harm or hurt;
lying is all about ignis fatuus.
once an illusion is created,
and the party is misled to think alternatively,
the intent is achieved,
and the Fabulist would have succeeded again.
(:
i've yet to meet my match.
yeaps! the rainbow after the storm is always that beautiful.
(:
i'll do my best,
to learn what i need to. <3
time to mug! woohoo~
just some messages to pass along;
LETS GO OUT AGAIN SOON YUEAN! :D
hope shirlene moves out swiftly and smoothly! (:
wish pow luck in his pre-u sem. (:
thats all`
worlds apart.
i guess i was insensitive.
and i feel like some jerk for totally being oblivious to your emotions and feelings.
sorry.
i'm really sorry.
maybe i should have treaded more cautiously.
then maybe i wouldn't have triggered the series of events that followed.
sorry.
i'm really sorry.
how untimely, i must say,
a week before tests.
sorry.
i'm really sorry.
just know i'll be right by your side.
it doesn't matter;
be it rain or shine. <3
today was delightfully fulfilling.
my dad brought me on some food expedition.
i mean- seriously.
we ate so much!
so we had brunch at about 1309. (don't ask me why i recorded such a weird timing, it was stated on the car clock when i alighted. :P)
we were at Bendemeer Hawker Centre!
apparently, my dad's dad used to own a coffee shop in the area,
but later sold it because no one wanted to take over the business.
lols.
[ that was how i got my chinese name too, if i'm not wrong. YA. I'm named after a coffee shop. -.-]
okay-
we ordered... tones of food!
so we had; laksa, chee cheong fun, wanton mee, prawn noodles, soon kueh, nonya kueh, yam cake, rice cake, sweet potato soup, and tao suan.
gosh. And we walloped everything up! :D
hoho.
felt like some glutton luh.
and that meal really made my day.
:D
Dinner was even better.
i thought the expedition ended, but it didnt! HAHA.
he brought us to Toa Payoh!
and we ate chicken rice, wanton soup, bbq stingray and...... what was that?!
(ah, one more dish luh. forgot the name. haha.)
then we bought snacks from the pasar malam.
:D
HEEHEE.
i wonder why my dad was so into eating today.
but it was definitely positive! (since it benefitted me a lot.)
hahahaha.
right- so i've just announced to the entire world the list of food items i've consumed in a day.
:D
ohkay-
moving on...
there was this weird churning of emotions within me today.
i kind of missed my dearest boyfriend today.
(eh, don't laugh luh. its normal right?! -.-)
i mean, i miss my friends and stuff, but HEY. lols.
back to the point.
missing someone would be just that weird tingly sensation that disappears after a while because you realize its kind of retarded, since you know you'll see that person soon, and that that person is still within your reach.
so you'll try to make yourself feel better by occupying your brain with something else.
BUT! (oh tian), i wonder if its just some coincidence or something,
i just kept encountering the name Gary.
first was my sister's english listening comprehension paper.
she showed it to me in the morning,
and the first line of the passage was, "Lets put our hands together to welcome the VIP, Mr Gary Lim!".
...
so i breathed in deeply, and let it pass.
the second encounter was when i tried to select my wireless network to connect to from the list of wireless networks (which included all of my neighbors')
and there was this new inclusion- a network named Gary.
...
then in the car, on the way back from Bendemeer.
my dad changed the radio channel to 93.3.
and i randomly asked my sister who was singing the retarded song. (lols)
Yup, its was Gary. (cao ge luh.)
BUT HONESTLY!
it really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really made me want to see him.
hahaha!
but i knew i couldn't.
oh wells.
can't wait to see you soon! (:
now, i'm going to complete my DSS tutorials for the entire semester.
to spare me the trouble of doing it in the future and free up more time.
haha!
Thanks Zhuang Ying!
I'm feeling better already!
no fever. no cough. just a little soreness in my throat.
heehee.
and i'm drowning myself in h2o.
:D
worlds apart.
was reading up and decided to blog on impulse.
my fever subsided, eventually; thanks to panadols.
it kind of knocked me out-
but i managed to pick up 2 phone calls in the night.
(though i still missed a couple, but oh wells.SORRY!)
spent the whole of today working on Business Management.
i think i made some progress, and i'm determined to go further.
yup, i'm obsessed with my textbooks now.
gosh.
so i came up with a few general rules to follow.
#1 Hate MSN.
- yeaps, it is bloody difficult, but thanks to the CTRL+Spacebar function, i can hide it away from my eyes and prevent myself from staring at that cute green and blue man icon at the bottom right hand corner on my screen. It is always tempting to double click it and sign in, you know?
#2 Ignore your Handphone.
-okay, i purposely chose such a beautiful and sleek handphone (YA! IT IS! DON'T SNIGGER!) so i could admire it from all angles and make it my best buddy. And now I came up some rule to ignore it (how dumb?!). But yes, it works. sorry again, if i haven't replied you. However! I still pick up calls and reply messages from certain people. lols. yesyes- CERTAIN PEOPLE. x)
#3 Off My Screensaver.
-if you happen to view it before, my screensaver comprises of a collection of my favourite pictures- which include people i love a lot. so when i read my textbook and leave my com idle for a while, and my screensaver starts its magic, i would just stare into the screen blankly. (GOSH, how retarded -.-) and yeah, i caught myself a few times, and decided to do something about it.
#4 Keep chocolates and sweets at bay.
-even though it keeps me awake, it distracts me alot, because i'll always be reaching out or something to nibble on. moreover, i have to watch my weight (cause i have this high risk of exceeding joelee's weight any moment. x)) moreover, i would be more concerned about the candy in my mouth than the words in front of me. hah.
thats all. well. if i do encounter more problems and distractions, then i'll probably come up with more to prevent myself from being distracted. OH YA. then i guess the next rule would probably be to STOP BLOGGING. -.- hahaha.
my brother's room would probably be the most conducive room in the entire house to study already (not that my house is really big).
i think it has this protective aura that prohibits my mum from entering.
which also means-
less noise, less nagging, less anger outbursts, less nonsense.
woohoo~
today would be yet another sleep early day! haha. till i fully recover.
worlds apart.
ohkay-
i can finally conclude.
i'm sick.
-.-
gosh.
how timely!
running a fever and having a cough.
haha.
:D
anyway.
yup!
i realised how unwilling i was to study nowadays.
and the POA test was a serious wake up call.
woohoo~
so from now on.
I, am going to study my guts out.
study like i never did!
xD
i mean, winners are those who are passionate, and keep the passion going.
(:
being back in the band room was a wondeful experience.
i felt all warm and cosy.
my heart never really left that place i guess.
going back was never something i'd do reluctantly.
and even after returning after a long while,
i don't feel distance of any sort.
the band room would probably be the most familiar place i'd be with as compared to any other rooms in the entire school,
even though i spend a lot more time in the actual classroom.
(:
holding the trombone in my hand again was delightful; to the max.
worlds apart.
im dead beat.
yup- i am.
but i'm still wide awake.
waiting patiently by the telephone;
hoping it'll ring to bring some news (preferrably good).
i cross my fingers real tight.
and i know my sister would be alright.
being kept in suspense is a big deal.
i realised.
all these bottled up emotions are overflowing.
i wish i could be there.
but im uselessly wasting my time away.
lift my spirits up real high;
(:
i'm sorry about the misleading post.
no-
there is nothing wrong between gary and me. =)
well, that lil paragraph was dedicated to my friend.
names would be kept confidential.
so .. ya.
first: I"M SO GLAD ZHUANG YING'S FEVER HAS SUBSIDED!
though theres still phlegm.
but woohoo~
being healthy is good news. =)
then: OH GOSH-
i felt really touched luh!
thanks a billion floflo, ruth, zy!
can't wait to see you guys soon. =)
okay,
so today's vesak day.
and i spent it .. well.
heehee.
hope everyone had a fruitful day too!
=D
the special lil feeling that creeps up.
=)
the most retarded thing happened today- (ok, i mean, i could have found any other word apart from retarded to describe the situation, but seriously, this was how it felt like.)
so my mum wanted to take the lrt for an experience- and also pass the Station LAYAR in the west loop of the sengkang lrt line.
so we boarded the first one we saw. and realised we were on the east loop.
we went one round.
alighted.
and got up the lrt on the other side (i mean, if this side doesnt work, obviously its the other right?)
we ended up going round the east loop in the other direction again.
it was fine you know, initially.
till my sister suggested we alight halfway and take the other side to try it out.
and we ended up going another round.
then my mum insisted we should continue the ride when we reached the interchange to see if it would go to the west loop.
NO. it didn't.
and she wasn't convinced.
so we ended up going round the east loop 7 times.
until she finally gave up and decided to ask the Green Monsters at the station platform for directions.
(what a stubborn family eh? lols.)
and we realised, we had to take note of the neon signs to see where the next train is heading before stupidly boarding any one lrt that approaches the station.
GOSH-
and to think that we spend the last 2 hours trying to figure a way into the west loop.
WOOHOO-
so now i guess we're experts at taking the lrt.
HAHAHA.
i was soooo glad we finally boarded the MRT back home when my mum finally surrendered and gave up on the whole experiential thing on the lrt.
xD
woohoo~
so now we're back home growing mushrooms, and mushmoms, and mushdads, and mushkids, and mushbabes, and mush... ah, you get the point.
tml's vesak day! (heehee)
(:
ok, maybe he won't read this.
but seriously,
there's one thing i must say.
breaking up with somebody at the lowest point of her life doesn't make you a sinner.
really.
its all about how you look at it.
(:
everything has changed somehow.
be it for better or worse.
just realised how selfish i've been recently.
i just kept ranting endlessly.
and it was all because i felt this way and that way and this way and that way.
and because i think this way and that way and this way and that way.
arggghhh-
kind of fed up with myself.
so probably-
if i were more selfless.
and if i were to place others before me,
i wouldn't be so worked up over little things.
and i wouldn't be all upset because things didn't turn out the way i meant it to be.
so i guess its time i positioned myself last.
be a little nicer.
be a little friendlier.
be a little kinder.
dig up the positive intent behind every word and action directed at me.
smile off every trouble and worry.
stand up straight after i fall.
scream out loud when i'm feeling low.
all in the name of HAPPINESS.
(all this selflessness should bring great joy, right?)
when the reliance becomes too great.
the loss becomes a blow.
recuperation takes some time though.
and i know i will find courage from within to face it.
just like how habits are hard to kick.
addiction is hard to rid.
and love is hard to keep.
maybe i was too used to.
so now that it has ceased,
i can barely stand the emptiness.
perhaps this is all it would be.
and i was glad it used to happen.
(:
sometimes when its all too much to shoulder,
you can put the blame on me.
(:
gosh-
fretting a lil.
GET WELL SOOOOOOOONNNN ZHUANG YING!!!!
hope your fever goes down real fast!
and that you'll be as muscular as ever!
TAKE GOODDD CARE!!
(it feels extremely weird not to see ruth floflo and zy for a day. and even weirder when i have to communicate with any of them through the means of my blog. =\)
ok.
now my brain has officially announced its retirement for the day.
-
emotional turmoil.
the Fabulist- yet again.
i've finally understood;
you gain some- you lose some.
pros don't equal to cons.
i can never have the best of both worlds.
and coping with such a change is no easy feat.
i'll try my best.
but i guess i need to get used.
GET WELL SOON ZHUANG YING!
ah- shucks.
i need to reconstruct and restart all over again.
things are becoming topsy turvy now.
and its all falling apart.
maybe if i took a deep breath.
it might all go away.
ohkay-
did i mention? MY MUM, MY SIS, and i visited the salon together today.
and my sister had a huge makeover-
her ultimate motive?
to look like: ME!
(no luh, thats utter rubbish.)
she planned to look like Rihanna, or Victoria Beckham by sporting a cropped bob.
well.......
it was ok.
I MEAN SERIOUSLY! (at least her bob didnt look like a mop.)
but my mum and i found it seemingly familiar.
******drumroll
TADA!
NOW, she looks like me when i was in secondary one,
(ya, with that watermelon split hairstyle)
see the ezlink card at the side?
WOOHOO!
this is what you call- SISTERHOOD.
when sisters lookalike. xD
and heres the girl before she chopped off her tresses:
oh wells.
adorable girl. hahaha;
my lil dog had a hair cut tooo!
and he's really really cute now!
he feels all velvety and squishy- just that he's a lil stinky. (thats all!)
i guess the after dinner syndrome is exceptionally HIGH!
woohooo~
i hope my plan runs well tml!
*cross my fingers tight*
its my dad's birthday today!
dinner was fantastic- STEAMBOAT.
(and delicious)
hope he gets well soon. =)
and tml is MOTHER'S DAY!
can't wait. xD
the more i say, the more mistakes i make.
ALRIGHTY-
i have something to announce through this small outlet.
(no more low profile and stuff)
IM ATTACHED. to
GARY. (yes, gary.)
currently NOT single.
and loving it.
for more information? -buzz me.
yes, he is a male.
...
to FLOFLO:
Happy Birthday! (again!)
really hope you like your present!
and I wish you a good year ahead.
sweet seventeen!
(:
the birthday girl!
[ and i think i love them more now. ((: ]
the day must have taken its toll on me.
i'm coping badly with some emotion overflow.
my family. my friends. my school. and myself.
this could very well be the result of feeling too many things at the same time-
you can't think straight.
you can't concentrate.
you decrease in productivity.
you lag behind times.
you drop out of the world.
and you go bonkers.
feelings become complicated too;
no matter how articulate i may be,
putting across a simple gesture of affection or concern becomes a tragedy.
writing out emotions become daunting.
speaking it out terrifies me.
then i start to doubt;
lose confidence.
lose faith.
lose courage.
lose myself.
then i start to lose my identity.
all you see is a masquerade,
with me behind a well drawn facade.
crying deep down within,
i wished tears flowed out just with squints.
as much as i hide beneath my skin,
you dig them out and spread them thin.
i am afraid of what may be,
but then again, its a mystery.
to you:
we'll make this one a beautiful one.
Together. (:
i've come to realised, that sleep was REALLY essential.
and 2 hours is definitely not enough, if you want to survive 2 tutorials and a lecture.
(not exactly luh, since i slept through the lecture)
gosh-
and i'm falling ill soon!! i can just feel it running in my blood.
so timely. =\
anyway,
i guess this post shall be kept short.
pictures from my dive trip will be put up (i think), once i get them.
ah, yup.
HAPPY belated BIRTHDAY FLO FLO!
IM BACK IN SINGAPORE!
arrived in the morning.
so... ANY MISSES?!!
hahaha- i received one from FLO FLO!!
oh gosh-
and i missed everyone else.
(actually, i only started to miss everyone else when i arrived in singapore. x:)
well- i really enjoyed myself! (serious!)
OK- if you don't know (WTH) i'm talking about,
i went diving.
lols.
my- oh- my.
we took a .. 14 hour long bus ride to the jetty in malaysia,
and a 2 hour boat ride to pulau tenggol.
so i guess the journey there was seriously really long.
but the dives made it all worthwhile.
i mean, ya.. diving is dangerous and all; but that only applies when you try to be a smart aleck and go against the rules.
the scenery there was fantastic.
the sunset was fabulous.
the atmosphere was serene.
and the underwater world was gorgeous.
((:
i was always looking forward to the next dive during the one hour surface intervals.
and the excess nitrogen in my body always knocked me out at night.
made me sleep real tight.
no dreams. no disturbances. just sleep. and thats SWEET.
the company i had were great too!
fun loving people with a whole lot of passion for the big vast ocean world.
then theres my instructor; its necessary to address him since he'll be responsible for me for the next 7 years!
and he is no other than Mr Bryan Knight.
gosh- i feel so proud.
he knows a whole lot of facts of creatures living beneath the water surfaces!
and yeap;
i received my license with gary's cousin Nelvin!
it was a pity though, that we couldn't dive together with the 'advanced' team.
but any-oh-how, the times we spent together were marvellous.
: D
it was surprising- homesickness never hit me.
and thats a good thing.
the journey back home was something really unexpected to me (3days passed really quickly!).
and it was definitely a journey i enjoyed (at least more than the journey there, apart from the ferry ride in choppy waters and the striking headache).
being back home felt great,
but having been there felt greater.
great dive trip; really.
and i hope it won't be my last.
(:
and then here comes the horrifying moment of truth.
i'm hit with piling tutorials, projects, presentations and responsibilities.
and i'm at a total loss now and i suppose its time i found some direction.
wish me luck!
p.s
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FLOFLO!&thank you so much for everything gary! ((:
