today is the last day of school.
before the june holidays of course.
im not sure how im feeling.
because im positive im not in any holiday mood.
its just like any other school day- right?
except for the clearing of the tables and cleaning of classrooms and getting back our much awaited report books.
then we are wished the best of luck for the o level paper on monday and are expected to memorise our index number before returning home.
dragging a bulk of books home with a heavy sling bag,
i just felt like this world was stupid.
im sweating my guts out with a load in my hand that would end up in the bin in the next few months.
any oh how.
im quite pleased with the benefits i've received from all the thrash.
so.
maybe i shouldnt complain so much.
=)
i feel threatened all of a sudden.
nope.
i shouldnt be like this.
but hey.
maybe i should take a step back.
see the world and how its like-
its not all about selfish gains.
i believe i can make a difference in my life with my current disposition.
no changes should be made.
i'm happy.
i guess.
oh yes.
and a few messages for my closest of friends.
CONGRATULATIONS YUEAN FOR GETTING INTO THE TOP 15% OF THE WHOLE COHORT! =D YOU'VE DONE WELL!!!!!!
Sorry arthur. for .... not being a good friend. =(
and yepp.
i guess that sums up my day for the time being.
=)
i wanted to blog.
then i didnt.
and then i wanted to blog.
and then i didnt.
soon after i felt like blogging.
but then i didnt.
and now i got inspired to blog.
and now i'm blogging.
this sequence of events happened all within the 10 minutes when i was sitting in front of the computer.
x))
its quite weird honestly.
really-
i'm been thinking a lot the whole day.
feeling a lot altogether too.
oh well.
the cl o level exam is just a few days away.
and i still can't get myself started for the big day.
its not really big actually;
in comparison to the matters im faced with now.
im really irritable these days.
and many things are starting to get on my nerves.
im like some petty psycho on the loose out to kill people with words.
call my crazy,
but hey.
im frustrated.
very frustrated.
i can almost feel my eye bags covering my eyes every morning.
not because i've studied up the last night.
but much because i cannot get to sleep.
still,
i really appreciate my aunt accompanying me in my cousin's room every night.
really like that a lot.
=D
my recovery is not taking place as fast as i want it to be.
my nose is still running and my throat is itching.
yuck.-
xD
find someone right.
i feel so cooped up in myself that i might self destruct anytime.
lols.
talk about leg shakers and getting irritated.
THE EXAMS ARE ALMOST OVER ALREADY.
yupps-
=D
was feeling a little out of place the past few days.
the events that took place shook me a little too hard.
found it, and even now i find it too, hard to express my feelings about it.
im glad im able to seek refuge and find comfort in the space i have alone in my cousin's room.
honestly.
i realise how unique each and everyone is.
because i believe- no one else would have lived their life the way i did.
xD
yupp.
and just over lunch, my aunt was discussing with me my future career plans.
like whether to go to a poly or to a jc.
and obviously,
im all into the poly route,
but my aunt begged to differ.
and from her point of view;
i do agree that jc is a shorter route to success,
especially when it comes to singapore and her fast growing society.
the one more year in poly may well be spent choosing a course in a uni to enter.
so yupp.
now im left all alone to reconsider my choices.
but HEY.
its not even the 'o's yet.
whats there to even think about?!
hahahas.
i know one thing i hate when doing examinations.
I HATE LEG SHAKERS.WTF.
its distracting!
terribly distracting!
horribly distracting!
drastically distracting!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
i hate that leg shaker.
but apart from that.
i love exams-
=D
you just spend your time studying.
eating.
playing.
just like that.
rather comfortable.
hahahas.
yupps./
im off to get comfy cosy again!
xD
i mean.
i h-a-t-e cockroaches.
but honestly,
i havent really stood still for such a long time staring at one and end up laughing at it.
it was just like any other visit to the loo to answer nature's call.
and when you've just locked the door,you turn around to see the marvellous bowl,
you catch sight of a huge black 'thing'.
your stomach flips and you gulp a huge globule of air as you prepare your voice box to scream the highest pitch before turning around and running away.
BUT THEN!
you realise its doing something normal insects won't do.
its climbing up and inTO the toilet bowl.
so you stop to watch.
as its legs wriggle and carry it nearer to its death,
you can't help but watch eagerly as it approaches the large pool of clear liquid.
nearer...
nearer....
'plop';
AND YOU CHEER AS LOUDLY AS YOU CAN!positioning your hand on the flush, you grin broadly at the drowning cockroach and apply slight pressure.
as you imagine the cockroach screaming for help as it circles the bowl and is sucked in by a manmade whirlwind,
you can't help but put your hand on your waist and laugh like mojo-jojo.
BWAHAHAHAHAS.
stupid cockroach.
xD
i think i totally suck at math now.
probably because i freak out when i see decimals and power symbols.
its terrible knowing you gave up simply because you didnt want to try.
anyway,
i did attempt to confront certain questions.
but i still surrendered upon doing the second part of the FIRST qns.
lols.
but it was alright i suppose.
hope i pass.
=)
lunch was at long john silver's with my cousin.
the fried fish looked like , goreng pisang?
hahas.
went for a badminton session about 45 minutes later;
and got terribly pissed off by an idiot.
then comes an autistic boy.
and then 2 blackies with one possessing greater assets than i do.
hang on.
they're guys.
=)
yupps.
i don't know WHY im discriminating them.
or why i flared up at each of them in the badminton court.
i just felt angry.
or perhaps,
i was just trying to vent my frustrations on an external punchbag.
whatever the case.
its wrong of me to do that, i admit.
but its their misfortune to have met me this very day at that very moment.
with hindsight,
i think these idiots deserved their misfortune anyway.
noses right up at the top of their head.
...
serves them right.
hmmph./
=|
soon after,
i went to fetch my sis. and found her M-I-S-S-I-N-G.
went round the vicinity to look for her to no avail.
then i found out she was with my dad.
and i also got wind that she created a terrible terrible misunderstanding between my mum and me.
i mean honestly.
after the 4 idiotic boy encounters,
i don't know what i did to deserve more mental punishment.
perhaps im not destined to talk to my mum for a few more months.
=(
i'm not sure if im alright now.
just feel distracted.
have no patience to revise chem.
no patience to watch tv.
no patience to play with ebi.
no patience to even fall asleep.
maybe i'll feel better after the morning exercise tml.
=\
gogo!
imagine ice cold wind?
imagine the school hall.
omg! (to clarify this: it means exactly OH MY GOSH. no god.)
i can't believe i actually endured that temperature for a shocking 3 and a half hours!
OMG OMG OMG. (again i emphasize: OH MY GOSH.)
my goosepimples kept rising.
and my fingers were kept numb from writing.
if only my brain froze halfway.
i was so stiff i hardly moved in my seat.
apart from being distracted by the ringing handphone and constant shaking of the foot by someone i don't recognise.
honestly.
the temperature was almost enough to deactivate my mind and make me go to sleep.
with an added plus of a filling breakfast.
right right.
i'm not sure if i breezed through the paper.
i use BREEZE because i really didnt feel any sort or form of stress.
i just felt like...
sleeping.
felt really tired.
any - oh- how,
i went back home straight after school with a cup of honey red tea for my aunt.
OH - did i mention!
its my aunt's birthday today!
=DDDDDD
and my sis bought a strawberry cheese cake for her;
which of course, she shared with me.
happy birthday.
=)
i simply wonder.
how long this would take.
how long it would take for this world to come to an end.
i mean honestly-
its time people started to relive their lives once more.
and make amendments to their mistakes.
this world is damaged to dilapidation.
as i see the cashiers at NTUC still happily collecting change from the usage of plastic bags today,
i realise how money driven we are already.
so much for saving the earth.
the ladies are still shoving customers with plastic bags in a bid to raise more funds in their coin boxes for charity.
global warming serves as a warning.
the rising sea levels a threat.
the vanishing islands: a reality.
something we have to face in the near future.
we can all see, with foresight.
the end is not far.
with the stars being consumed so thoroughly by the dark clouds that loom over our little country every night.
we can only pray we'll live a little longer to make our empty dreams come true.
i mean honestly.
money; when you step in your grave, is still JUST paper.
if it means alot, why does a dozen stack of million dollar hell notes cost 2 bucks?
and idols; whether stars or artistes; are still just human. meeting them would just be equivalent to meeting the great friends around you, or maybe not even equivalent to it.
just think about it.
the end of the world approaching.
=|
its such a horror.
just thinking this whole world would be destroyed in years to come.
it becomes even more terrifying when i know i'll live to see it.
and my future generations would suffer and perish.
all in just a few more decades to come.
SAVE THE EARTH PEOPLE. STOP USING PLASTIC BAGS. REUSE. REDUCE. and RECYCLE. BE PART OF THIS MOTION. ITS BECOMING A TREND! =)
