.Tuesday, August 14, 2012 ' 5:09 PM Y
Hello bloggie..
It’s been so long since I blogged! While waiting for my duno-if-it-is-still happening meeting, and in the not-so-feel-like-using-my-brain-mood, let me do some updates.
It’s been 2 months 10 days in this new job – Service Planning for Sengkang Hospitals. This is seriously an exciting job! In short, it’s a position where you plan out all the services in the hospitals, from clinical services to patient experiences to model of care to patient flow etc. In my opinion, a great place to learn everything about hospital operations and functions all in one project.
Thus far in this job, I have…
1. Shifted to a new off-site office (hence lots of traveling and shuttling between places for meetings, carrying my laptop and wander all around SGH to find hot desking spaces..)
2. Peeped into a few gruesome surgery (one of which the guy on the OT table was totally burnt, resulted in his skin looking like char siew.. with the doctor stapling back patches of skin)
3. Visited lots and lots of Operating Theatres, gowning up and down like a surgeon
4. Learning trips to warehouse, logistic companies, hospitals… warship visit in progress
5. A pending Perth learning trip (50% chance of going)
6. Viewing a live cataract removal surgery
7. Many many more exciting things…..
Seriously, I SIMPLY LOVE THIS JOB! This job was the result of 6 months of very specific job hunt and lots of prayers for confirmation. Cut the story short, I felt God speaking very vividly for me to go back to healthcare, so tadang! Here I am..
I would say my colleagues and those clinical leaders I came across with are very humble people. Working with them is just like working with giants of faith, fathers of the healthcare builders. Many of them have rich experiences when it comes to building hospitals locally and internationally. I am always humbled to be at those meetings where I get to meet people/hear stories about how a certain man/woman who have foresight for the Singapore healthcare x years back, which resulted in today’s well-equipped facilities. But also, heard stories about how the healthcare systems fail to provide care, horror stories about how operation can go wrong etc..
This would be a 5 year long project before the physical hospital building actualised. Till then, I hope I would be able to jot down all the learning pointers and share more here.
.Friday, February 18, 2011 ' 4:40 PM Y
Hello bloggggiiieee!
On my 2nd day of MC this week. been falling ill easily recently. bad. but im enjoying the peace to be alone at home on this Fri rainy afternoon with love songs 101 accompanying me while I blog.
Was talking to dear ytd and he gave an analogy of a newborn seaturtle. It seems to be their nature to dash towards the vast sea the moment they hatched from the shell. No one tells them so, but they are just programmed to do so. Having witnessed the hatching of sea turtles at Bintan, it's pretty funny how human beings at the side cheered them on and at the point theturtles touched the sea water, they are deemed to have successfully stepped out their first step.
Likened to a young adult's education life, university life is like the mad dash towards the vast sea. Your parents, peers will be soooooooo proud that you made your way to university, cheering you on, and poor little us having just hatched from the sheltered place named jc, not knowing really why, made that mad dash just as if it's programmed in us to be always achieving, striving and challenging our limits. We shoved aside the sand, and sometimes our fellow sea turtles, in order to reach that vast ocean which we thought it was where we are to be belonged. Not knowing that there are bigger turtles, more ferocious fishes and dangers inside the sea, aka the working world. HAHAHA!
As a uni grad, I really dont think it's a big deal to be one. You still end up in the big vast threatening sea as the rest of the turtles, and everything is reset back to zero once again for all.
A random thought today: what would I be if I were to relive my education life again?
Maybe I will be some sort of designer, photographer.
But, I still take pride being a science student.
Somehow I feel it's really quite hard for sporeans kids to really realise where their passion lies. Since 5 years old, (or some even younger at the age of 3), all of us we are put through pre-school/kindergarten, thrown into a fix syllabus, defined system of cca of not too much choices, learning predefined subjects without much variation... where's the space to explore what we really like? adding to that our weekends tutions and ballet/swimming classes etc? oh im not one of those fortunate, or unfortunate, ones who has weekend classes.
I do wish that somehow I can live life overseas for a couple of years.
I secretly wish that dear or myself or both of us can get some overseas job posting. Get married. spend 2-3 years somewhere, explore what we have yet to.
.Saturday, December 04, 2010 ' 11:16 AM Y
Europe + PwC experience (so far)
backed once again! these few months have been eventful. dear left in aug, work like hell in sep, quit my job in oct, went europe for a month, get into a new job in pwc.. along this journey i have lots and lots of tots. some are realisation, but some are pure confusion. but i guess it's about the self discovery over the last few months. so wana "pen" these thoughts down so that i can better organise my tots and look back at how i have grown. so... here we go!
it has been 3 mths since dear left. honestly, i like that space of being with myself. it's just a comfortable period thats bearable. i can do things i like in my way, roam around the streets and malls myself, gg to the library myself, enjoying personal time on the long train ride to jurong west every sunday etc. not that dear is annoying when he is ard, but im entitled to rare me-times and its when that happens, my thoughts about things will come.
honestly, i think im quite a loner and i dun deny that. im tired of making the efforts to make new friends, which you know it wouldnt be a in-depth friendship. i need no new friends, but only remake the old ones. im not kinda person that like big grp fellowship, ending up just to get your stomach filled and laugh over each other silliness and called it a good gathering. one of the reli gd fellowship tt i can rem is the invitation to Nathan's and Hayley's house (KL's cgm). just the 4 of us and we began to share about our childhood, how we overcame our past, talking abt the future and reli appreciate Hayley to broke the news that she's pregnant to us first-hand. i tot it's a kind of fellowship that u hardly find.
being away in Europe is a good reflection for myself, about the topic of being a Christian. the amount of majestic churches in Europe (loves those in Rome and Paris), being in the Vatican city, seeing the tomb of Peter and Mark, makes me engage with my inner self at a deeper level.
as a Christian, esp in big churches, very often the tendency to "lose yourself" is higher. you act the way others do, speak the lingo they speak, clap the way they clap, conform to the "norm" etc, all in the name of building atmosphere and evangelism. and for 1 month which i dun need to do that, i felt really liberated! im a Christian, a authentic and a genuine one without having to live under expectations. and being a leader makes that expectations higher. do we have to lose our individualism just to be more "Christiany"? i dont think God came for that purpose. i have to say that it's unfair to have expectations placed on Christians just because they are to be more saint. in Europe, we saw the non believers live their lives and probably they feel much liberated as a non believer.
what does being a Christian really mean? i believe it's the individual before the institution. we have to first know why we are called Christian, then out of that we can produce fruitful fellowship. if not, the churchy activities we do will be done just out of unfair expectations placed on christians.
the whole trip is not just an eye opener, it's a soul opener. i found another side of me. going to Berlin was another highlight that opened another part of me that i have not visited. visiting places of holocaust, concentration camps had definitely made me questioned my own faith. how strong is my faith that i will be willing to die for it? the jews are murdered nt bcz of Hitler, but a long history of racism against them bcz of their practices, which originated fr what God has told them to do so. how do you address such hard issues like that? where is God when millions died for what the believe? what are the other christians doing when the see the cruelty of their fellow believers being unjustified? how are we to engage such issues as post-holocaust Christians? how does it relate to the second coming of Christ? i dun have answers to these. dear and i had such an intense and long talk one night abt such things which left me awake the whole night.
thats why i love traveling. it gives you sth which no other things can give, an insight, a perception and a self discovery. on the flight there alone on plane, i told myself i do not just wan to be a tourist that goes to all the famous sights, take a few pictures and label that country with "i was here". what traveling can offers you is beyond yourself.
so i came back on a 13hr flight all by myself again, had a good time and laugh watching movies on board and tadang! SINGAPORE! the singlish, the spore notes and coins, black hair asians, sbs buses, TALL buildings are things i missed sooooooo much! asian food esp! had a week plus of jetlag, terrible terrible terrible! and started my first day of work at pwc in the midst of jetlag, had such a terrible week. coupled with the fact of change of the sayang healthcare industry to the cold financial industry, it makes the jetlag and transition worse!
it felt weird to return my life to the norm. going back to cg, svc agn, talking to the same people (have only talked to one person for the past 1 mth in Europe). but it all felt so different. in the familiar environment but with a different mindset and perception now. it took me nearly a month to reconcile that together, am still trying now though. im still in a confused state, which is the real me.
entering into a new job doesnt help, with so many "internal turmoil" happening at the same time. meeting people who are prosperous, successful yet without an anchor, they drink they smoke and they jiojio girls, all these that happen 5 days in a week added onto my confused self identity. at the same time, telling people "oh i had a fun time in europe, visiting places blablabla" when they asked "hows your trip" and have to find things to share when i have so much inner thoughts to share but they might not comprehend.
all in all, this trip has been very self enlightening, bringing me to face hard issues which i will never a comfortable spore. and tru such issues, i realised there's so much things to explore, not just destinations and places, but the untapped ideas and thoughts that's hiding inside my mind. this trip has definitely allowed me to engage God in a more personal level, not an institution manner.
i wan to go far far away again. saving up for japan next! visiting the country sides and cities, i believe the vast difference in these both will invoke some tots again.
for now, work, save.
bye hj.
hi hj.
Grand Canal @ Venice
Old town buildings @ Stockholm
Colosseum @ Rome
Markings of Berlin Wall @ Berlin
(im in East Berlin, no, west Berlin, no, both at the same time!)
Nyhavn @ Copenhagen
(went to this place alone when dear is in sch. i actually found my way there!)
Eiffel Tower @ Paris
Parliament house @ London
Snow @ Swiss Alps
.Monday, September 06, 2010 ' 10:35 PM Y
Since I have no one to talk to before I sleep, I shall talk to my blog n pen down some thoughts :)
It's been a week since dear left. Hmmm things are pretty much the same, just that there's no companionship for whatever I do now and nobody to listen me out. I think I have cut my conversation by 70% the past week! And I have started to converse with myself more. N i kinda like the personal space that I can have. :) it's really hard to find someone whom u can pour out your soul. It's hard to share views when in the first place, there is no assurance that the other party will not get offended and no assurance if his/her faith level is able to take it. But I would say other than the emo part, I still believe this separation will make us better individuals. :)
When dear is around, he is always the nice person. I'm the bad one. He is always the one offering help, availing himself etc. Whereas I'm the more selfish one. When he is gone, I find myself more giving. Im able to give myself more freely to others. When he is around, he does the socializing n talking while I give that sian face. When he is not around, I engage with people more. Maybe he shouldn't be around too often yea? Haha. I always know I'm an independent girl but when he's around i tend to hide behind his charismatic nature. In any sense, I'm loving my life now cz I'm rediscovering myself again after 5years of being attached! I'm surprise by how I can keep myself entertain when he is not around! Not that the relationship is unhealthy, but such separation makes it more wholesome:)
I still miss my dear dear lots :'(
One week seems like one month. 14 more weeks.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
.Thursday, September 02, 2010 ' 10:27 PM Y
dear's so sweet! he seldom say it but i know it, and when he's away, he says it all! muahaha!
He says...
"Dear I miss you a lot! I dont know why, but in Copenhagen there are many babies on carriages who are handled by their parents. When I see the babies being taken care of I thought of you! You are so nurturing to me that I miss that portion of my life now that you are not around. Anyway, as I am writing this mail now, it is 619pm here. I went around some areas within the city to settle my registration stuff, check my building for the lectures and visited Hannah's apartment which is in a hotel currently. Dear, I think it is when you are not around that I will really know how much you mean to me. I feel abit lonely travelling through the buses and trains, and it will be so nice if you were by my side. I feel abit homesick now, I guess its really a big change and just the first day with my tired body (I slept like 3-4 hours in the plane) I already went to alot of places, so I feel kind of overwhelmed.
But I do have my personal time and space in my room (I will upload the photos shortly). It is really small. haha. Dear you are really precious to me, I may not be very expressive with my words but I do mean it =) Thanks for writing such a sweet letter for me to encourage me. You really have made me a better person, more street smart, more bold to try new things and more calculative (in a good way!). Tonight, I am just going to read some books and prepare my trip to school for some activities. I miss you dear and I want to hear from you real soon!"
and i went "awwwwwwwww...."
so far so good. im not feeling the effect yet. but when people start saying: "dont be sad, you will be alright.." im thinking must i not be alright? knowing its out of their concern, but somehow sometimes it makes me feel like im too weak to handle all these. a reverse effect uh. but frankly, i know i will really be fine. i have my own life to live too.
im kinda enjoying the personal space that i can have for myself to do my own things and think some deep thoughts on my own.
15weeks to go. whee~
.Saturday, August 28, 2010 ' 2:09 AM Y
With the recent case of people caught for writing negative comments against the gov, I can't help to think the gov actually employ people to read our blogs.
So to the all the spies who are passing by my blog:
"thank you for taking interest in my blog. U made me feel so worthy. But I have no juicy stories for u. Sorry to have wasted your time to even click on this unworthy blog. Thank u very much. "
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
.Monday, July 26, 2010 ' 9:31 PM Y
-blow dust away-
yes, im back blogging!
have been real busy at work these few months at work, and my event just ended last fri. and it was a blast! =) glad that everything turn up well and it was well-received by the management, given all the nights of staying back late in office, breaking a record of leaving the office at 1130pm! but all was worth it =) as you can see fr my v happy pic at the end of the event below:
and one of my greatest breakthrough is to get my boss to do a jump shot together with me-->
it took me almost 3 months to plan for the 2 weeks campaign alongside with other of my projects! i love all my events projects!
i hope to pen this down as another milestone in my life, in fact probably the first milestone in my working life. I have been doing events projects here and there but i felt this one in particular is more impactful to me and the participants. it felt great when after the event people fr various dept call you, greet you along the corridor congratulating you for a good job done. COO and CEO thank us personally as well!
admist all these praises, all glory to Him. i know it's God who set me up. it has been my prayers since day 1 of work for God to show me open doors, allowing me to discover more of myself tru the good and the bad. and tru this project, i found what im good at, and what im not. i found out that i thrive most in an environment when there's freedom and liberty. Though senior colleagues' opinions are useful advices, but i find it hard to live up to that expectations set by past experiences. i love to create new things, not doing things repetitively the old ways. at the beginning of this project, there were people who say "last time not like that what" and pass me a thick booklet of how this has been done in the past, but the success of this project has proven old traditions might not always work out to be the best.
it's also a great opportunity for me to get to know my boss better. when the senior colleagues are not around for this event, it kinda forces me to interact and discuss things more directly and openly with boss, and that made me realise that it wasnt hard at all! one of memorable moments was that at the end of it, she wanted to take a pic with me and i got her to do a jump shot tgt! yea! also got to bond with the rest of the colleagues, helping one another to "clean one another's backside!"
this project also opened up opportunities for me to work with top management in the hospital. accompanying them to the grounds as they serve the roles as pharmacist, nurses etc and filming them for that one whole week! it was fun to see a more personal side of them, getting to see their uncertainties and the "real" side of them.
all in all, healthcare industry might not be the most prestigious and money-making industry, but it's definitely a place where people are more genuine and real. it's definitely a life-changing industry. The people here are always so ready to help, esp the nurses and back end staff. it's an industry which face life and death day in and day out, experiencing the reality of life so closely daily. working in a hospital definitely soften my heart. seeing the old, the crippled, the blind, the insane etc everyday in the hospital always bring me back to reality, bringing me back to a modest living. whenever i go to A&E and the wards, i will still feel a certain kinda of tug in my heart. every now and then when i see old people on public transport, somehow i would feel i wana go forward to hold them, give up for my seats for them, asked if they are lost etc. this is the impact of healthcare in my everyday living.
ask if im here to stay in TTSH or healthcare, i really duno. being apriased by management and getting closer to boss might invite unwanted gossips here and there, but i just have to have the reassurance that im not here to fight for recognition, but to excel in my best and it's God who gives the promotion. im not so much for the title nor the money. The only thing I know now is to just do my best here to test out my gifts and threshold before moving on to something greater that He has planned for me =)
