.Thursday, October 22, 2009 ' 11:15 PM Y
im still having stomachache.
someone help.
.Wednesday, October 21, 2009 ' 11:33 AM Y
MC Day 2currently im staying at home.. i am on MC................................................. still.
doctor said i need to eat boring and bland stuff for the next few days. you know you know...... BOOMZ!
-credits to Ms Ris Low
shall really go swimming today!
.Tuesday, October 20, 2009 ' 1:27 PM Y
MCyesh im on MC today! it totally feels like im ponning school. kinda feel guilty abt it. anw i have 14 days of mc to claim. bu na bai bu na. haha. have been having this naseous feeling with stomachache since fri. feel lk puking everytime i eat and will have the diarrhoea feeling a few hrs later. no mood to work everyday. so decided to just MC today and see a doc later. out of 6 colleagues, 4 of us have been experiencing the same ting one after another. maybe its some bug infection or sth. working in a hospital might not be that fun. you become more suspectible to all these.
so today im so free! contemplating of swimming later. but its so HOT! shall see.
anw just heard fr my mum which made me very "an4 shuang3". if you stil rem my job hunt episode, the umpteem times of interviews with pwc and yet still failed to get a position there after waiting for 1 month plus. i just heard fr my mum that the candidate who got in JUST QUITTED her job after 2 weeks of work!!!! (hahaha! who ask them dun hire me! =p) anw heard that 7 out of the 8 bosses wanted to hire me cz im a fresh grad who is more willing to learn. but the one and only woman boss (the direct boss) wants a more experienced 30 year old lady. but after hiring her for 2 weeks, she tender her resignation! now the 7 bosses are "reprimanding" the lady boss for her decision for hiring the lady and not me. well well.. if they call me up and hire me back with higher pay, i might consider after my contract with ttsh. ok little small episode to make me feel somehow "worthy". haha.
was having a conversation with one of my colleague ytd. she was telling me abt her love story and its quite complicated and end up in a tragic. her ex-bf broke off with her and married someone else, who ended up committed suicide bcz his wife later wants a divorce. my colleagues commented that she doesnt believe in a system of marriage, unless there is no such system known as divorce. i somehow agree with her. wads the point of getting married when you know that you still can have the right to divorce your partner? defeats the whole purpose. marriage is really a lifetime of commitment. how do you know if it's "THE ONE"?
after interacting with my colleagues, i got exposed to the "worldly" side of life. not that i have become more "worldly", but hearing stories of such life tragedies somehow got me back into some reality. spending my teenage years in church, growing up with close frns who are decent and holy, somehow i felt that my life is very "sheltered". the mention of the word "sheltered" to many might seemed as pampered and ignorant. but this is a good shelter i believe, or rather, a protection, a surrounding with wise counsel to prevent me from getting into the wiles of the world. i once told my colleagues i have nv been to clubbing before, they looked at me with unbelief. maybe to some, this kind of "pure and innocent" lifestyle might be despised upon, and they might even think that i should "get a life". but seriously, i think i am getting more life than ever. it's not the matter of i can or not, its a matter of i want or not.
my colleagues are really nice and helpful bunch of people. even i might not agree to all their views and lifetstyle, they are easy bunch of people to mingle around with. i got exposed to the more "worldly" lifestyle ever since working, and somehow or another, i feel proud of being a Christian. I have to consciously remind myself not to judge them or to despise their lifestyle just bcz i have a higher moral standard. Christianity is not about upholding a higher moral standard, which other religions also believe in that. It is the truth we believe in that results in a higher moral standard. It is Jesus whom we believe in that gives the righteousness in us. Jesus become more real a person when i mixed around people who are different from me. It's interesting to mix around non-believers, so that the revelation of Jesus Christ becomes more real to you. But, one just got to be consciously guarding his mind, heart and words when doing so.
so now i proudly declare my faith, that I AM A CHRISTIAN, AND CHRIST LIVES IN ME =)
.Sunday, October 18, 2009 ' 10:31 PM Y
transition
in a few hours time marks my 6th week at work. well well.. still nt reli looking forward to mondays. but its a transition period for me. and im nt reali good at it. have been having alot of thoughts recently. in fact, working life makes me appreciate the things that i used to do more. see, the grass is always greener on the other side, no matter which side u are at.
have been trying to "hype" up myself daily by plucking in my earphones in the ever-crowded mrt in the morning, by listening to pnw. times where im just doing work at my com, i will listen to some sermons while doing work (yes, we are "allowed" to do that if it doesnt affect our efficiency). there were times when im touched by the songs and the presence, i just couldnt lift my hands or to just put aside my things and just worship God. i realised the importance of the freedom of worship. and how i have taken for granted those times in bible school, that i can just worship God so freely everyday and i can just sing pnw to those friends ard and they will understand me. Now if i were to do that, i wil be classified as "weird and overly-holy". i start to appreciate gg for cgms and svcs, where i can reali just boldly declare my faith.
i appreciate those days when there are no financial burdens, when i just need to earn and pay for my own expenses, student rates here and there. Now, the burden adds on. To pay off my own school fees, household bills, giving parents allowance (if u give too little, u'll feel u are nt filial enuf. if u give too much, how to survive?!?!) and there's just this unspoken hidden thing between parents and children. that you nv noe how much is ever justifiable. everything just goes on with assumptions and presumptions.
i start to appreciate those working/tertiary people in my cg. last time i used to think that why is it so hard for such ple to commit? but now i noe, working is really tiring. i really begin to appreciate those members, who are also in transition phase as well. they are so willing to serve out of themselves and stay tru tgt. some ple will just have "i have a BIG prob" all over their face, while some will just take prob in their stride and continue serving. i appreciate the latter ones.
working life is a whole new dimensions of temptations. you will always be tempted. to say the wrong thing, to criticise, to complain, to whine, to throw your temper, to sulk, to find excuses etc. this is esp so in an all-female environment! where everyone is so whiny abt every single thing! pms-ing all at the same time! thats why im nv good with girls clique. i find it reali irritating sometimes. and being in a quality service unit, the tendency to pin-point ple's quality of service is higher, and without careful note, you end up criticising the person and not that act itself. sometimes some comments really turn me off. just as you think you are doing your job by critising the quality service, you are just being whiny and complainful. stop criticising, CONSTRUCT! everytime while on my way to work, i have to constantly consciously remind myself to fight against all these negative forces. without a conscious effort, you will just be bought in by the people and join the "popular group".
ple closer to me might think that im vocal, but in the office, im just quiet. i dun talk much and give my opinions much. i dun wana give opinions just to show off that im vocal and im more "up there". i wan to speak the truth instead. im still navigating my way around, getting to know how the systems and the connections work there.
now i understand why God describes us as cute little sheep. cause if we are not careful, we'll just be devour by those wolves out there.
"Let not mercy and truth forsake you, bind them around your neck, write them around your heart, and so find favor and high esteem in the sight of God and man." Pro 3:3
.Sunday, October 11, 2009 ' 8:48 PM Y
yesh its me! im backed! thank you for that few moments of waste of 5 secs to check out this dead blog every now and then. haha
anw working life is M-U-N-D-A-N-E and T-I-R-I-N-G! now i understand why its harder to get working adults to commit. so salute to all those faithful working adults who are always so on the ball when it comes to extra commitment in church stuff!
i slept latest by 10pm nowadays. yesh its very early i noe. but by the time i get home everyday, im just tired! i'll stone awhile after dinner and everytime while trying to be awake to watch some tv, i fell aslp on the sofa. and i have to drag myself up again to brush my teeth and drag my tired body to my bed. and the whole series go on again the next day after day after day after days...
sometimes when u feel like u wana break out of that monotonous working life, you are just too tired to plan any exciting things for yourself. end up just slack at home over the weekends. weekends arent reli weekends as well. my sat is packed with 2 tuitions back to back then a driving lesson after that. by evening, just too tired to move anymore. sunday is needless to say. day gone. i want my Sabbath!!!!!!
sad thing is when i look around. i realised i dun reli have much company to hang out with. haix. im like the first to work among my peers, first to get attached among them as well. how many will understand the things that i've been/went tru. and it takes extra effort to build and invest on new friendships, i just dun have the energy to do so now. just in case they are to be "taken away" again.
sounds abit emo here uh. alright. im just living a very simple lifestyle now. work-ministry-home.
sometimes i yearned for simple beautiful things to happen around me to warm my heart. to remind me that things arent that montonous and cold after all. some beautiful things that i chanced upon recently:
- at somerset mrt, they have glitery and shiny diamond walls! somehow i feel my soul being satisfied just by looking at the walls. at least someone bother to beautify this concrete jungle we live in.
- a pair of really old elderly couple holding hands crossing the road at ttsh
- when the sparrows begin to bathe themselves, shake the rainwater off themselves, and at the same time feeding on the rainwater when it rained ytd.
yes, im those that i will observe and appreciate the small little things and happenings around me. call me emo or wad. but thats how i appreciate life sometimes.
its monday in 3 hrs time. sunday night time is always a very depressing moment. haix.
OSIM: Oh Shit! It's Monday!
TGIF: Thank God It's Friday!
