Friday, September 30, 2005
i dont know why. i really dont know why.
the past keeps coming back.
the memories keep coming back.
some things are really hard to forget.
somethings are never meant to be forgotten i guess.
on the other hand.
somehow i just lack this sibling love i had always wanted and longed for.
how i admire people with siblings who had time for them.
if only things went well right from the beginning for me and my sister.
i guess it isnt too late either.
maybe it is.
now i feel much better letting it out.
to anyone reading this post, treasure your siblings while they still have time for you before its too late.
Posted at 10:00 PM 0 comments
it's the first time this year or perharps in ages that i have not used the computer in the school week. determination i guess. seeing how so many other people could do so questions me why cant i as well. even though there has been a significant lack of that "nessecity" which is the computer this week, i somehow rather dont feel much.
perharps the week's been too busy and fast for myself. keeping myself away from the computer indeed gives me more time. i had hoped the time would be spent more on my studies. but in actual fact it went to playing the piano and quiet time. :D maybe it's a good thing. or maybe i would even have to ban myself from the piano. once you start playing you cant stop but want more of it. weird isnt it? for someone who hated the piano to someone who appreciates its existence.
i have serious doubts about my upcoming examinations. the thing is i do not feel confident at all. i am just so demoralised at my lack of knowledge of all the things i should know. doing all those past papers only to find myself stuck every few questions. i hate that feeling. staring at the large magnitude of chapters i have to cover within this limited period of time. oh my. this is one feeling no one would want. this helpless feeling. it's only a mere one week more. i dont know what to do. so much stress and tension to maintain the top few positions in class. now i look back and realise how good or maybe not so good were the times i was the last few percentages in the level.
the least i could do now is at least study and of course trust in God!
today's the last day of the month of september. september's certainly a hotspot for birthdays isnt it? that dwindles the signifance of your birthday somehow compared to one who has the month to him/herself. maybe im wrong. oh well. once again happy birthday to all september babies. =)
Posted at 3:55 PM 0 comments
Saturday, September 24, 2005
It's been a fast school week. A week where teachers are rushing to complete or rather have already completed the syllabus. It's only a mere two weeks before the End Of Year Exams are here. A moment ago it was the start of Sec 3 and the start of the O levels syllabus and now here i am faced with another major hurdle i have to clear.
That's not the point actually. No matter how tiring or stressful the week has been for everyone in class or elsewhere, i just have this peace and assurance in my heart. Somehow all the load and stress i am supposed to have has been lifted off my shoulder for the past week. My week has certainly been enriched greatly. It draws me to one conclusion, it is certainly the grace and mercy of God.
Somehow rather my lifestyle for the week has underwent a 180degrees change and will continue to continue. I can say i have not slept later than 12 for the past week, and i tell you it is certainly something i thought could never happen! Another thing, if you sometimes realise how little i go online now is because i am no longer stuck to the computer! It's amazing how having a regular time of approximately an hour of quiet time daily helps your spiritual life by leaps and bounds. I have certainly seen how spending more time with God and less on the computer has helped me in my life. I mean normally when exams are nearing you will have less time to spend with God. But somehow rather, it's the other way round in this case. It's just like i cant get enough of HIM. ANd another thing, doing quiet time earlier in the night helps!
No word can sum up the graditude, praise and awe i have for my God. Without him i think i would have died off long ago.
It just brings me to a vision i had of a plant which i received in one of my quiet time. Like a growing plant, i require my fertiliser and water which is prayer and the word of God. Another essential factor would be the sun. Jesus is like my sun, and i need to look to Him for my "sunlight". Likewise if i do not have the following or if i dont look to Jesus like how a plant looks towards the sun, i would have died out. Amazing isnt it how God speaks through visions.
Another amazing thing is how God helps me to focus on studying. I mean everybody knows me as one who is lazy and one who doesnt really study much. But somehow rather, i had a manificent change. Can you imagine me jonathan tan ser ern sitting down on his chair in his ever so comfortable room studying for 3hours straight without getting up or doing any other things! The only thing that stopped me was the time constraint i had not i would have carried on longer. I mean i myself admit i am incapable of such stuff. I have grown up being a hyper-active child who cannot sit still for more than an hour or in worst cases half an hour. It's really amazing how much strength you have when you just place your burdens and trust in the Lord. And not to forget looking to Him as a source of strength. This supernatural strength, no man can ever produce or make. The power of the Holy Spirit.
Although this post took up close to half an hour of my time. But i feel it is just nessecary and not a waste of time to testify of God's grace and goodness in my life to the world through the simple means of a blog. I hope whatever i have said has been an encouragement one way or another. It is my greatest desire that you may be able to share the same joy, strength and comfort i find in my Lord Jesus. Something that cannot be bought or found through the superficial love we seek in this world. It's simple. You do not need to be ultra holy or anything to receive such love, acceptance, joy and strength from Jesus. All you need to do is just to accept him into your life and everything's settled. It's as simple as that. Trust me. He has helped me all the time and he will help you when you accept him. You can ask me more about anything i have just said. I would gladly do so. :)
Posted at 9:01 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Victoria School's in band 1.
What a strange thing to happen.
It's a pity it will be pulled all the way down next year. xD
I pity that mother who wants to send her son to VS as mentioned in the papers.
But Im sure he will have a whole load of fun. HAHA.
Posted at 6:49 PM 0 comments
Sunday, September 18, 2005
What a day had it been. I've finally watched finish the latest final fantasy movie FF7: Advent Children. And gosh, they have made a big mistake not releasing it in the cinemas. It one load of a masterpiece. As for myself i am not a fan of the final fantasy series and I had to admit i had no idea about half the movie. But I was so taken in by the stunning graphics and action. Hollywood animators sure have alot to learn from their japanese counterparts. They should move up from kiddy animations to the real thing like what the japanese did.
I praise Japan for being such an innovative country who has risen many times after failing time and time again. Yes I know Japan had a horrible history not worth recollecting, but they too suffered alot from WW2. But to see it rising from nothing to a country where teachnology is king is certainly something worth looking up to. I can foresee Singapore as a nation following in the footsteps of Japan, another smaller nation with little natural resources like Singapore.
I didnt know what got into me last night but i just had an urge to look through all the stuff i keep in my drawer and stuffs lying about my room which lay untouched for a long time. It is then that i realised how fortunate I am to be blessed with so many good friends. It started with me looking through the cards i've collected over the past few years. From there it really contrasted who really bothered and would go the extra mile just for a friend. I am not implying that it is the only way friendship can be displayed by.
Underneath the cards lay my movie tickets. As i glanced through them ticket by ticket, i began to recollect the past movie outings i had. The happy and not so happy times there was. It was so unfortunate that i had lost all my tickets before 2004. =( I guessed i lost my "Lord of The Rings" ticket as well, one movie outing i will never forget. At least i still had "Shark Tale"! Haha.
Besides that i found photographs of the past. The first was the PG camp photos. It's a pity many people from there arent with us today. Next i was reminded of my primary school childhood days of which i had mostly chose to leave behind. Those cute, little innocent faces we wore. People like Maurice who had left for Australia three years ago still remained in the photo portrait we had in primary three. Others included were photographs of the last birthday party i ever had and Ben's birthday party. All this i had once forgotten but now remembered. As i saw myself grow over the past eight years of my life, i can help but say i really really looked dumb and like a nerd! Oh well i guess it still applies for now. :D
Not to mention i found a couple of our dearest youth ministry's bulletin's. Of how we changed from Youth In Action to Revival GENeration. The bulletin has really changed alot over the years. And too reminded me of the happy times back at CHS.
Other odd stuff i had found included notebooks of which i used to draw my own "game". And characters that intrigued my mind. From that i could tell that I as a primary boy was strongly influenced by the games, comics, shows and not to mention the superheros i loved. How weird a character had i been in my primary school days. Maybe i still am. Who knows? One thing that really surprised me was a small letter from clarence wishing me good luck for the PSLE. I also cant believed it's still around or even existed after so long. Thanks anyway! It's been close to eight years we have known each other and he has certainly grown SO MUCH from that cute, innocent little boy to that fine, handsome person he is now. =)
So much has been said in this post it's time i stop. Here are some pictures of the stuff found. Click on them to see the full image. =)
Team Ketam!!
PG camp people
Ben's birthday party in 2002 i think
My drawer =
Stuff given by team Ketam
Cards and other stuffs.
Clarence's note! (please see this clarence!)
Movie Tickets from 2004-05
All my "lost" stuff laid out.
Dearest Maurice and nerdy me.
Me and cousin sean with same shirt at jurong reptile park..i think.
My birthday party in 1999! Clarence try find yourself!
First bulletin version i got.
2nd Version.
See the contrast of the changes in the bulletin!
3 Older ones with the new one on far right.
And that's all for the longest, one of the most meaningful posts. cheers. =)
Posted at 6:04 PM 0 comments
Thursday, September 15, 2005
it's been some time since i've last blogged. perharps it's due to the lack of interest of the computer these days due to a rather busy week.
today was quite a fun day. the only lesson i really had was geog. had a fun time in chem lab testing out stuffs. in our find we managed to get green flame. it happens when Cu2+ is in contact with the flame. that's what i presume. haha. it's really cool la. ignore the background noises.
the video can be viewed HERE
After school had this really cool history workshop at Singapore History Museum. It's based on their exhibit "Errata: Page 71, Plate 47. Image caption. Change Year: 1950 to Year: 1959". What a peculiar name for an exhibit. what sets this exhibit apart from most others, is that it is a compliation of books that has to do with ART history of Singapore.
It hard to find or rather learn about ART history of Singapore. Most of the time, students are bombarded with facts concerning issues of political, social and military issues in their school syllabus. That is why this exhibition proved to be so exciting and unique although it is plain simple.
Clarke Quay has certainly changed alot since i last visited it. Took many photos as usual. Unfortunately, i do not have the time to put them up! haha!
Posted at 10:03 PM 0 comments
Sunday, September 11, 2005
today's the last day of the september "holidays".
many things didnt turned out the way i had expected.
school's starting tommorow. i hope things go well.
end of year examinations are coming in three weeks time.
i seriously dont feel confident.
it's time i lock myself in the tranquilty of my room and study.
i had a wonderful most splendid and inspiring dream during my morning nap. and great. i forgot what it was. right.
IF only i could turn back time and change everything. it's to my dismay that may never happen. i've deprived myself of that chance again i guess.
there's always tommorrow to look forward to. =)
oh ya. the new english dubbed naruto anime on cartoon network is a total DISASTER man. who on earth calls sasuke "sars-kayyyy". LOL. now the anime is going down the drain. whatever happend to kage bunshin no jutsu which was replaced with "shadow clones" -.-"
Posted at 6:28 PM 0 comments
Friday, September 09, 2005
today was seriously a FUN day.
nothing beats going to the beach and having a suntan.
wahaha. went sentosa with jake n jaslyn. it's been nearly a year since we three went out together? and i've waited for this day to come when i can go sentosa! i know i sound lame. haha! it's a pity we had very limited time not we could have done so much more things. we basically spent the afternoon at the beach slacking. time passed very fast. seriously. it was a really hot day. thankfully jaslyn brought sunTAN lotion which i mistook for sunBLOCK. as a result im all black n red. cooked lobster. xD
only then had i realised how severe my inability of not knowing how to swim had affected me. haha. as a result i did not dare to swim any further in fear of getting drown like when i was small! haha! we took photos but apparently most got deleted. -.- it wasnt long before we all had to go our seperate ways.
after that went down to orchard and waited for some church frens to come. i knew they would be late so i went to see my beloved most favourite gundam shop. haha! it certainly killed alot of time. in the end there was only me anna calista and danny. it was nice of anna and calista to get me a chocolate mousse which i ate despite my throat condition. haha! we left cine only to bump into jaslyn again. -.- haha. what a concidence. that's all for today. =)
Posted at 11:37 PM 0 comments
Thursday, September 08, 2005
i've got a new mouse.
shall i start cs again?
a spoilt mouse was the reason i stopped.
haha. the cs feeling is coming back.
i missed my awp.
i hope my throat heals for tml! =)
Posted at 10:55 PM 0 comments
LOOK AT THIS WONDER. OMG.
IPODNANO!
view here. http://www.apple.com/ipodnano/
soooo cool sia.
Posted at 1:28 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
well. today certainly is a wild and wacky day. i would say i find more meaning in this birthday although the fun factor did not played much of a role. normally i would think that "fun" comes before anything else. but now have i realised that meaning comes before it.
my day started off with me going to school at 730. wow. it was fortunate of me that i never kena whack at certain sensitive area. haha. this year i would say is the first time my classmates ever got to wish me face to face on my bdae. that's cos every yr my bdae's a holiday. it was nice. jansen gave me a puzzle of gundam . :D desmond n jiawei gave me gundam figurine thingy too! haha. den my mom was like.."even ur classmates know that you r crazy over it"..no im not THAT lor! haha. i had more den enough liaos.
after which i made a bad bad decision which is to go ps ben/aunt lillian's place. i should have gone to elgin's place although i was too tired to do anything there. i felt so out of place. at least i studied amaths for one n half hours there. now im prepared for a scolding cos i didnt go elgin place n went there. o well. im so used to getting scolding from them anyway. haha.! i was in for a "treat" there when annabel and julia made this "orange juice" as a bdae present. it looked like orange juice just that there were particles floating about and that's what you can call a precipitate -.-. and yea i drank it. i then realiseed later it was orange juice mixed with milk! -.- thanks anyway.
meanwhile. in the length of the day i received happy bdae messages from about 30ppl whom i do not know. i was like huh? it's quite freaky yet exciting la. it kept me thinking for the day who was behind all this. and till 9.45 someone let the cat out of the bag. it was my sister. the person whom i would never think would do such a thing. haha. THANKS SIS! LOVE YA. my day had been made exciting by her. she certainly has a wide circle of friends and strong infuential power. I mean she managed to get that many of her friends to message me. how cool can that be.
back to action. i reached elgin's place bout 6.20 lidat. i couldnt talk much at first due to my stupid throat and my voice got distorted. den they celebrated my bdae by singing n den pray for me and den give me a giant, beautifully made card and a pair of socks! just what i needed! thanks guys! :D had much fun eating n playing stuff. i can say our cell is pretty much bonded even though it's been so short. it's a pity we had to leave so soon.
despite the minor hiccups like the scolding-to-be and my sore throat which deprives me of enjoying CHOCOLATES. my day still rocked. =) looking forward to friday! hope all things go well! =)
btw thanks to all who wished me! xD
Posted at 10:49 PM 0 comments
im fifteen. =)
how quick and sudden a year has passed.
i didnt ask for anything.
but my parents gave me what i wanted to ask for although i didnt bother to ask.
what a blessing it really is.
i made it a point to spend the last one hour i had before my bdae with God and it certainly was not to vain. normally i would be on msn chatting. but somehow i just did not want it to remain the same. i had to change.
i asked Him for a few things. basically a higher level of worship life, more wisdom and more talent and annointing in playing the piano for him. that was about it all.
i asked for a verse and he gave me three. Matthew 5:8-10. Exactly just what i needed.
8Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
what a great encouragement =)
the first thing i did when i turned 15 was to play the piano! haha! and the song was..consuming fire!
special mention to anna, calista, dudley who were the first people to sing me happy bdae on e fone. =) thanks! paiseh i was in e middle of my QT.
and also special thanks to everyone else who remembered and wished me happy bdae. =)
i guess now being 15 im more matured and sensible.
i hope. =)
now all i want is CHOCOLATES CHOCOLATES AND MORE CHOCOLATES. HAHA! so much for the sore throat im having.
I WOULD LOVE YOU TO BITS IF YOU WOULD BOMBARD ME WITH CHOCOLATES. :D
Posted at 12:09 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
people pls note that the "quarrel" in my tagboard is highly fictional and is not at the very least factual. haha. =)
just had an amazing 1 1/2hr to 2hr worship + qt. n gosh it was AWESOME. although im tired n all i managed to pull through. n the way God does things is AWESOME. the Holy Spirit's like my teacher already la. i cant imagine how on earth can i even figure out the notes in the chord progression in "awesome God" song just by hearing from the cd. my piano's not very good anyway. i can never hear from a cd and play it out in such a short time. it's really not by my own doing but the Holy Spirit teaching me! so cool la. finally man. a breakthrough in my worship life! hope this goes on. now i doubt i have to worry much about how to progress further in playing the piano for God with my ever so reliable new teacher. =)
To God be the glory!
Posted at 12:27 AM 0 comments
Monday, September 05, 2005
what a wonderful exciting vibrant day it has been!
like totally WOW!
yea right.
early in the morning i guess my mood wasnt still in place.
i seriously havent been in the right mind at home in the past few days :(
school ended early.
i left school abruptly and left for home.
how weird.
am i anorexic? i cant imagine i skipped my lunch cos i didnt have any appetite and all i ate for breakfast is one piece of bread and creal drink thingy. wonderful.
wasted my whole afternoon finishing my gundam while i could have been out there having fun.
apparently i didnt bother to do so.
maybe it's a good change.
Posted at 7:24 PM 0 comments
Sunday, September 04, 2005
i guess this coming holidays would be a pretty boring one.
wished it was last year.
so fun spending time with my closest friends.
not to mention jake, jaslyn n shengwei celebrating my bdae with me.
it's a pity it wont happen this year.
i dont even bother thinking where i want to go etc.
strangely.
i just have no mood.
i just feel like helping people with their problems.
im afraid that wont happen either.
aww.
nevermind.
it sure is part of God's plan.
everything.
=)
i guess i just need some peace and quiet with myself.
i need to sort out issues in my life.
great. my sister just worsened my mood. thanks alot!
Posted at 9:10 PM 0 comments
Saturday, September 03, 2005
This post was meant for yesterday but has been delayed to today due to certain unforeseen circumstances. lol!
02/09/05
today was the last the day of the term. the day most students look forward to as it marks the beginning of the holidays. wait a minute did i mention holidays? oh wonderful! what's a holiday when you have to come back to school from monday to wednesday! wow. i would love spending my birthday waking up early and going to school! so cool right! not to mention the success rate of my generation would drop if you understand what i mean. xD
it is also a day many students dread. it is a day the report slips are returned back. as a result it is common to find many students not appearing due to "unforseen circumstances". i wasnt happy with my report slip. it was spoiled by a pleasant E8 and not to mention the unpleasant double digits for an L1R5. it had come to my notice that they didnt take the combined marks for geog ripping me of the delight of getting a single digit for L1R5. what a waste and shame. under the remarks section all i had was "you can do better!" -.-" expected from a slack teacher like mr ho. i certainly feel my studies isnt up to standard and that i should seriously work hard. getting 4th in class doesnt mean anything. it only matters how much of an effort you put in before saying to yourself at the end of the day "i could have done better". it's a common phrase i have always made used of time and time again without putting much thought and consideration into how i need not use that phrase in future.
enough of the solemn talk. fastforward to the highlight of the day.
VS 2005 Evening of Music and Drama.
The evening of music and drama has been a rather memorable event and holds much sentimental value in it. the first time for me was in secondary 1 where i had unknowningly met someone who played a big part in my life. enough said. the evening of music and drama has also in another way become a way for victorians to showcase their girlfriends. It's a common sight to find girls underdressed. for what? i have no idea. maybe not enough money to buy more clothing. it's certainly a rising issue in the society nowadays to see how much girls have devalued themselves by underdressing and making them more vunerable. the rest you should know.
The mc-es for the day were none other then our beloved john cheo and nicholas kang. they made splendid mc-es. the performances this year in general had a big improvement from the last one. VS certainly has many talented people. The audience was well-entertained. Thankfully. I had to admit the skits were pretty boring. Maybe not totally. There's room for improvement but i have to say the emd team has done a good job. =)
When it had ended, our guests were in for a treat of our VS spirit. As usual we did the VS unite cheer, spelling cheer, VS boleh, etc. Then came the school song in which everyone emphasized in one accord on the word "thy SONS are we". I feel that no school has the same amount of school spirit we victorians have. Im certainly proud to be a victorian.
Photos of the day below-
Posted at 10:57 AM 0 comments
Thursday, September 01, 2005
today was fun fun!
went watch herby fully loaded wif jake n john
n gosh i love that show man
herby's so cute n unrealistic -.-
i was really fortunate to have chanced upon....
LIMITED EDITION 1/100 DESTINY GUNDAM!!
-.-
they managed to get hold of 6 of dem n i came just nice wen the stock came.
wat a big hole it burned in my pocket.. $50 gone just lidat..
after that went ps ben hse
now got drumset!!
too bad aunt lillian had to leave soon..
after that wenta clr's hse.
super neat n tidy!!
yups. potong pasir's changed so much.
miss times with CHS there.
my bdae's a week from now.
it's weird i have nothing to ask for present.
perharps i have grown out of that age.
Posted at 9:16 PM 0 comments