I've been a mom for just over three months now...which makes me a pro right? No, probably not. But at least I can say that I know more about Jonah than anyone else in the world. Since I am a "stay-at-home mom" I spend nearly 24 hours with my son. I believe this is the single longest period of time I have spent of my life with one person; only to exclude the time I probably spent with my own mother as when I was a baby. I have come to a point in my relationship with Jonah where I sometimes miss him when he's napping and I have to keep myself (its not really that hard to keep myself) from waking him up just to try to make him smile or laugh or just to laugh when he cries.
I'm really not insensitive and I'm sure it's a pretty common thing among new parents that when you finally get past the point where you break a sweat and begin to panic every time your newborn cries, that you eventually learn to laugh at the funny faces and squeals that come from them and be more patient with the inevitable crying spells. That's a great point to get to. In fact, here are a few other points in my experience of motherhood that I'd like to consider milestones:
IPPD or Inevitable Post-Pardom Depression is quite possibly the most horrible feeling on earth. I call it "Inevitable" because I truly believe that every mother has or will experience this to one degree or another. I'd like to believe that this frightful condition is only worsened when your baby decides it wants to be born right-smack-dab in the middle of the freaking night. In my case, my water broke at 12:30am and Jonah was born 4 hours later. It could have been 3 hours but since he was coming so fast and the doctor wasn't there yet, I got to sit with my numb legs in stirrups for an hour while his head threatened to come out (sorry for the graphics, gentlemen). After he was born I was wheeled to my recovery room and Jonah was taken to the nursery to be cleaned up and to have his breathing monitored for a while. My husband went with him to make sure everything was ok, so I sat alone in a quiet room while fighting off nausea and the oh-so-empty feeling in my midsection. Those aren't exactly great sleeping conditions. The following day, of course, was peppered with visitors, nurses checking my blood, etc. and the time I spent looking at this new baby with utter amazement that it was mine. The next night was horrible. If you've never tried sleeping with a newborn in your room, I'll tell you right now that its nearly impossible. They make all sorts of grunts, squeaks, sighs, and toots and after ever single one I sat straight up to make sure he was still breathing. When I finally got past the guilt and let the nurses take him to the nursery so I could get some sleep, the longest stretch of sleep was but two hours because they'd bring him back in to be nursed or to take more of my blood. The day I got home from the hospital my mom decided that Jonah was looking rather yellow. I called the doctor in a hidden panic and they told me to bring him right in to have his biliruben levels checked. The minute I hung up the phone I started bawling. My mom and sister just sat there staring at me. This was the ultimate low point. My husband caught a horrible cold the day Jonah was born which left him in a drugged, slightly comatose state for the first week. So as you can imagine, he wasn't much help (no offense, Honey). For you pregnant ladies out there, don't worry. This stage passed after about a week.
The Real Smiles for Jonah came at about 4 weeks. This point is wonderful because previous to this point he only smiled when he was gassy, which was cute but wasn't in any way an acknowledgement of our futile attempts to rouse him. The weeks leading to this moment were also difficult because you feel as though you're giving every ounce of energy, time, and love to something that has no idea that you're there except for when its hungry.
The Six Week Sleep Miracle occurred one random night around six weeks after Jonah was born. Up to this point I believe that the longest period of sleep I got was about 3 hours long. One night, my husband and I went to bed expecting to be woken up about 1 and 1/2 hours later for a feeding. Of course we didn't budge until we heard Jonah cry which was a magical 7 hours later. We actually managed to get 5 hours of sleep that night which felt amazing. That one night gave us a hope that fueled us through the next few days. Jonah started sleeping 7 hours and 8 hours at a time and eventually it got up to 9 or 10. At this point I began to enjoy motherhood even more because I realized that there would be a day, maybe not in the near future, that I wouldn't be over tired and need a nap.
Jonah is now almost 15 weeks old (a little over 3 months) and it is most rewarding to see him grow and change. He opens and closes his hands and even tries to reach for things. He smiles, talks, and giggles when he's happy and has quite the personality when he's mad. He holds his head up (although still a little wobbly) and looks around and is ever so observant. I love being a mother and I can't wait to do it all over again (I mean I can but I can't...you know what I mean!)!
