the hols so far have been boring and interesting. so far there's been smp extension lab attachment, going to blaws' house twice and playing card game with her + learning how to play snap -subsequently winning blaws rather easily-, wep, and nus engineering quest. oh and the canopy tree trail thing. and of course eating sleeping reading watching tv playing games. haha
nus engineering quest was fun, and uhh talked to two ppl from risc which is an amazing feat. for the sake of scitare la -glares- and blaws can't rmb why she is pissed with risc. hahaha. since she can't rmb why, she should stop being pissed with risc and start cooperating with them and treat them cordially.
canopy tree trail walk at macritchie was tiring but fun oso la. we got to see a collection of insects and scorpions of various species. -eeks- although i hate insects and are afraid of them, they are actually quite amazing and pro-looking dead and as specimens. a pity blaws wasn't there. we walked through the rough trail about 7-8km. would have been 10km if not for our luck at getting a hitch-hike on a little bus on the way out. hahaha. there were some air-rifle shots from the ns camp, but well didn't get shot. saw a lot of weird plants and animals, particularly a pair of squirrels that i suspect were mating. making very loud noises and ya in the cover of a tree, though we could still make out the shapes. =P too bad for privacy. they were right next to our trail haha.
the tree trail walk was super short as compared to the 5km walk there. like 400m? but it was dizzying and scary as i had a bit of fear of heights. i thought i was going to fall over anytime. T.T or drop something down. it was super high up. we climbed up super high from the beginning lor. up and down and up and down. had lots of lactic acid in my legs by the end. =P ya then we went to eat roti prata after that. was super full and went home "tired but happy". cliche yepp but true. ^^
bleh scitare and ssef work is piling up >.< can't imaging how sec 4 life will be.
wep was boring in a way. it was at thomson paediatric clinic. all we did was file casenotes, find casenotes, register, measure weight and sometimes length of the babies, give queue numbers, sit in several consultations, follow on several trips around the wards, watch how drips are done, and generally do odd jobs like faxing stuff, stamping names and make sets of forms. boring and easy to do actually, and interesting in a sense. then again im not a professional, that's y it's a bit boring. it's all paperwork...
still easy and dun need to use brains. several times there were misfiled casenotes and that caused everyone to go into a frenzy searching for them. sometimes they can't be found due to the sheer number of casenotes. >.< of course with us around we are forced to find them. sigh
half the time we are ignored and all we do is look and see what the nurses are doing. only one nurse was frendly and never forgot me. the others were ok la. still i have a feeling that we are causing more trouble than providing help. >.< one good thing about all those casenotes is that you get to learn about interesting names and surnames =P and of course i get to meet a lot of children and babies and proud parents. haha i got several smiles from the parents bcos i was smiling and playing with the babies, and the babies smile of course. though sometimes they cry at the pain of an injection by the nurse, but they stop very soon.
interesting fact learnt: babies love to wail and sound like crying, but somehow there aren't any tears. = they are just making the crying wails but nope, not crying at all. haha so ya they stop "crying" very easily. but of course sometimes they are really crying, hard. haha
oh and there's this sign that says: "All our staff in this clinic have been vaccinated against Flu. Have you vaccinated against Flu yet? Please approach any of our staff regarding the vaccination." and then the next minute one of the nurses started sneezing. and she sneezed about 3 times. we all couldn't help but laugh. hahaha vaccinated against flu and yet having flu? unlucky ba...haha vaccination no use. probably different strain.
not much to say alrd la. sleepover at my house this weekend for scitare action plan and ssef report. sigh la why is almost everyone overseas alrd. im going overseas at the end of dec, sometimes around christmas bcos my bro only has 4 days leave and he can use them all plus christmas hol plus hari raya hol plus new year day hol plus weekends then can make two nice weeks of leave. ya so i must finish ssef b4 then, and the forms...yikes >.<
i dun want to go to the same place againnn. my mum seems to like shan tou a lot, but we always go there!!!!!!!! and hongkong oso. i don't mind hongkong that much la, didn't go hk for 2 or 3 yrs alrd. but we went shantou just 2 yrs ago! and last yr we didn't go anywhere. sigh la my mum is so biased. the only places she like = china, hk, thailand. possibly malaysia but not like she's ever brought us there. blah.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
hols are here
hurray for the holidays are here!
eoys are over and results are out. not too bad la but i shall not reveal anymore to certain geniuses like BLAWS. and im glad that at least ONE person reads my blog ^^
and generally so far the hols have been smp and reading and sleeping and eating and watching tv and playing games and going out with my mum. which is rather boring but i don't mind the break from studies. it's quite nice too to be able to do anything i want -except the smp part- ya smp extension for ssef next year. oh well it's quite crap and everything but it can't be helped. and let me try and remember. i must remind blaws to COLLECT THE FORMS on friday. if blaws is reading it, be reminded.
hmm and today we went to the nobel prize exhibition thingy and some lecture by a nobel prize winner (professor t'hoofe or something likethat?) for physics. i don't know what he won the prize for. probably something about particles bcos he was talking about it, then he talked about black holes -my favourite!- and stuff like hawking's particles and other theories. and the probability of white holes.
haha qw and yong joo were late to they were forced to go some IT lab watch on web cam. and since the microphone is malfunctioning half the time, the volume of the professor was greatly varying. therefore they couldn't hear much hahaha. and ya qw's sources whatever they are are indeed rather reliable. oh well and for the past week i realise that during term time in nus, nus ppl eat super early, even up to 11++, and there will be LOTS of ppl from 12 to 1pm, so it is advised that you do NOT go there to eat during this period of time. im not sure about 1pm to 2pm, but i think there is a lot of ppl too. particularly seems like nus ppl lunch break is that time.
queues are super long during those times too and no tables or seats available unless u want to share with someone. T.T and i do pity those ppl clearing the trays and plates at the collection place for they have to work like robots, methodically taking plates and trays and sorting them super quickly and without rest. mmm.
i find lots of ppl doing wep during this hols. makes me feel interested in trying out working. and i actually forgot that someone worked b4. T.T and i nv knew that yongjoo went to find work at swensen's and mcdonald's. heh.
oh well this is crap. im just blogging for the sake of my beloved one and only reader-of-my-blog. under her specific and repeated request of course. ^^ so be honoured. hohoho. wishing everyone an enjoyable and fun-filled holiday. and perhaps merry christmas and happy new year in advance. =)
eoys are over and results are out. not too bad la but i shall not reveal anymore to certain geniuses like BLAWS. and im glad that at least ONE person reads my blog ^^
and generally so far the hols have been smp and reading and sleeping and eating and watching tv and playing games and going out with my mum. which is rather boring but i don't mind the break from studies. it's quite nice too to be able to do anything i want -except the smp part- ya smp extension for ssef next year. oh well it's quite crap and everything but it can't be helped. and let me try and remember. i must remind blaws to COLLECT THE FORMS on friday. if blaws is reading it, be reminded.
hmm and today we went to the nobel prize exhibition thingy and some lecture by a nobel prize winner (professor t'hoofe or something likethat?) for physics. i don't know what he won the prize for. probably something about particles bcos he was talking about it, then he talked about black holes -my favourite!- and stuff like hawking's particles and other theories. and the probability of white holes.
haha qw and yong joo were late to they were forced to go some IT lab watch on web cam. and since the microphone is malfunctioning half the time, the volume of the professor was greatly varying. therefore they couldn't hear much hahaha. and ya qw's sources whatever they are are indeed rather reliable. oh well and for the past week i realise that during term time in nus, nus ppl eat super early, even up to 11++, and there will be LOTS of ppl from 12 to 1pm, so it is advised that you do NOT go there to eat during this period of time. im not sure about 1pm to 2pm, but i think there is a lot of ppl too. particularly seems like nus ppl lunch break is that time.
queues are super long during those times too and no tables or seats available unless u want to share with someone. T.T and i do pity those ppl clearing the trays and plates at the collection place for they have to work like robots, methodically taking plates and trays and sorting them super quickly and without rest. mmm.
i find lots of ppl doing wep during this hols. makes me feel interested in trying out working. and i actually forgot that someone worked b4. T.T and i nv knew that yongjoo went to find work at swensen's and mcdonald's. heh.
oh well this is crap. im just blogging for the sake of my beloved one and only reader-of-my-blog. under her specific and repeated request of course. ^^ so be honoured. hohoho. wishing everyone an enjoyable and fun-filled holiday. and perhaps merry christmas and happy new year in advance. =)
Monday, October 23, 2006
| Your Dominant Intelligence is Interpersonal Intelligence |
 You shine in your ability to realate to and understand others. Good at seeing others' points of view, you get how people think and feel. You have an uncanny ability to sense true feelings, intentions, and motivations. A natural born leader, you are great at teaching and mediating conflict. You would make a good counselor, salesperson, politician, or business person. |
hmm sounds rather not bad...
exams are over.
the holidays are just round the corner.
this super duper ultra extended long weekend, many things have happened. i have decided to pick up my books again...it's been so long since i have really enjoyed myself in the world of fantasy, adventure and mystery. yepp and i went to bishan library.
it was lovely and new, and there were many ppl there. lots of books, but not enough. didn't have the variety i expected, but well, good enough i suppose. borrowed even more books for the hols. but i feel that the holidays are very empty. i always do. it's like i have nothing to do, no school, no cca, no nothing. i don't really mind it, but i miss having nothing to work towards. perhaps just reading and more reading.
i love reading.
i wanted to forget her, but i decided to stop escaping it and to face it. i guess perhaps, she wanted to forget me too, like i did. she's still the same, yet changed, perhaps. my fault? perhaps. but deep down it was everyone's fault really. u can't blame anyone exactly.
i made the right choice. i should face it and acknowledge it, and not just forget everything. this may have been a blessing in disguise, though i really want to know what the blessing is. i can think of a few, but it doesn't seem enough for this to have happened. i shall never forget this. i want and don't want to forget, but what can i do?
no. don't forget. don't ever do. if you do, you are a coward just escaping from the truth.
isn't that who i have always been?
tears.
sometimes u think tears come and go, and that's the end of that. you chuck it to the back of your mind and think about it perhaps, but no more tears. i thought that. i was wrong. once the eoys are over, once i could have my mind capacity free again from the numbing routine of study study study, i thought. i dreamt, and i thought. and tears came again.
why?
because i realise how much i hated it, how much i hated that, then how cowardly i was. there's a good side to everyone, but also a bad side. i must say that it's so easy to succumb to the bad side. to hate them. to hate her. to hate myself.
hate.
why hate? hate leads to anger, and anger just leads to more hate. isit worth it?
tell my brain to stop hating. it's impossible, impossible, impossible. when you can't stand it anymore, you just do what your eyes always do. pleurer.
i realised i can type up to 90 words per minute! im so pro right? and i actually did not too badly for french killer eoy! i couldn't believe it and i was like muttering c'est impossible as i looked down the marks for each section. and i actually passed the redaction! i didn't noe the format of letter writing, and i didn't even finish it! gosh. c'est impossible. mais c'est vrai. je suis contente.
i find myself getting more and more rebellious. due to the hate. i indeed, finally have run out of patience. told you my weakness is impatience. i couldn't tolerate it, and i burst. i exploded, and hurt everyone around me, including myself. in a way, im like a suicide bomber, who instead of achieving her goals, have ended up bombing herself only. the others are all running to safe distance and shooting at me now. hate comes to nothing i guess.
but i couldn't take it. i take different stands, different points of view, different ways of tackling it, but i got shot down all the same. sometimes it feels like a battlefield, a war that i can never win, a war that im alone in. but there's an even more vicious battle i must win before i can win anything else, and that is the battle within. it is a raging, fiery battle of which the consequences would be the loss of my sanity and mind. either way i doubt i would be able to win and conquer, perhaps till my dying day.
i find myself playing the word death much too easily. like it means nothing. yet it means everything. how can i play with such a word like that? it's awful. but i still do it. doesn't that mean im awful then?
when you are at a loss of what to do, what to do? i can only take comfort in the sole source of enjoyment i have now...my books. but even that is so easy to be taken away from. i think the problem is indeed with me. if others can tolerate and keep their mouth shut, i should continue to be able to do so. just shut up and keep quiet. being rebellious has no use, it only inflicts more harm and while they know that you have a mind of your own, it doesn't help that they hates that fact.
perhaps i should have been born stupid and ignorant. in a place where there is no competition and it's ok to be just yourself. perhaps if i never knew the existence of suffering, of enjoyment, of anything at all, i would be able to be content with what i have.
stop taking things for granted. everything you have outweighs what you don't. no that's not true. just be grateful for what you have now and stop being greedy. i can't help it i am a greedy and selfish person. not to mention lazy, impatient and has a fiery temper. i need control and tolerance.
the source of the problem leads back to decades ago. there's nothing i can do now. live on, and live my life to the happiest. i doubt i will be able to do that. i want music. indluge in music and books, and forget about the truth. forget about the world and forget about everything. but it's no use to deceive yourself.
no use.
p.s. i am not depressed or what. just been thinking loads these days. too much time to think so thinking too much i guess. it's not against the law to think right? it better not be anyway. that's y being stupid and ignorant would spare all these trouble. sometimes i just think too much into things. just call me stupid crazy and lazy. right you win, i lose. doesn't that make everyone happy? a simple word sorry solves everything, yet it's so difficult to say it. to someone who speaks it like drinking water, the word carries no meaning anymore. yet if it makes everyone happy, why not? right you win, i lose.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
about yourself
thanks to kenneth's blog (:
One. Think of 15 short bits of interesting stuff about yourself. And they've gotta be true.
Two. Come up with 5 false statements regarding yourself, but for fun's sake keep them in the threshold of believability.
Three. Jumble them all up together and list them in any order.
Four. Post them on your Blog and let people guess which the five false ones are!
Five. Get 5 others to do the same.
1. I drink powdered milk, two cups a day.
2. I only realised the existence of the health booklet in p2.
3. I never had a best friend until p4.
4. It was clinically proven that I had hearing problems.
5. I love my brother.
6. I was so proud of myself because I read Lord of the Rings in pri 4.
7. I stole my friend's watch before. In fact, I stole loads of things before.
8. My first trip to anywhere in Malaysia was last year. Johor, to be exact.
9. I had the happiest birthday in my life when I was 7.
10. I love planes, I love to sit on a plane, particularly SIA.
11. I had a pet hamster when I was in pri sch.
12. I hate all seafood.
13. I only knew the existence of handphones in sec sch.
14. I am pro at chinese chess. I always win it (:
15. I wanted to go to nygh, but i changed my mind in the end.
16. I lived in Hongkong for 5 years before.
17. I had my first and deepest scar when I was 2.
18. I wear a different watch everyday.
19. If I have to choose between being frozen to death or being burnt to death, I would choose the former.
20. I thought committing suicide was crazy, but later on I didn't mind dying anymore.
so which do you think is true? comment if you want.
the 5 ppl shall be...any 5 who reads my blog and bothers to do it. see im so nice. ^^
One. Think of 15 short bits of interesting stuff about yourself. And they've gotta be true.
Two. Come up with 5 false statements regarding yourself, but for fun's sake keep them in the threshold of believability.
Three. Jumble them all up together and list them in any order.
Four. Post them on your Blog and let people guess which the five false ones are!
Five. Get 5 others to do the same.
1. I drink powdered milk, two cups a day.
2. I only realised the existence of the health booklet in p2.
3. I never had a best friend until p4.
4. It was clinically proven that I had hearing problems.
5. I love my brother.
6. I was so proud of myself because I read Lord of the Rings in pri 4.
7. I stole my friend's watch before. In fact, I stole loads of things before.
8. My first trip to anywhere in Malaysia was last year. Johor, to be exact.
9. I had the happiest birthday in my life when I was 7.
10. I love planes, I love to sit on a plane, particularly SIA.
11. I had a pet hamster when I was in pri sch.
12. I hate all seafood.
13. I only knew the existence of handphones in sec sch.
14. I am pro at chinese chess. I always win it (:
15. I wanted to go to nygh, but i changed my mind in the end.
16. I lived in Hongkong for 5 years before.
17. I had my first and deepest scar when I was 2.
18. I wear a different watch everyday.
19. If I have to choose between being frozen to death or being burnt to death, I would choose the former.
20. I thought committing suicide was crazy, but later on I didn't mind dying anymore.
so which do you think is true? comment if you want.
the 5 ppl shall be...any 5 who reads my blog and bothers to do it. see im so nice. ^^
Monday, September 25, 2006
stressed? ?desserts
ok im getting on quite well with stess. im looking forward to end of year. as in all exams for the yr to be over. i realised being in ip isn't less stressful. instead, it's worse bcos we have more exams and these exams MATTER. without o levels our normal daily lives are HELL. ok not that bad. at least i've survived ^^
just finished geog test today. and got past the horrors of first two weeks of term 4. next up is french eoy this fri, then all the way to the eoys in week 6. by then im sure every other sch has finished eoys and are celebrating alrd T.T while we poor girls still struggle.
pfft. soon. counting down to 27 days later. when eoys are officially over.
oh i should be counting down to my grade 8 piano exam results too. my fren got it back, and guess what? she passed and passed by 17 marks. she said she screwed up. right like i believe. heh she's PRO la. wonder what her screw up was. sigh wishing and hoping for a miracle to happen.
do miracles ever happen?
just finished geog test today. and got past the horrors of first two weeks of term 4. next up is french eoy this fri, then all the way to the eoys in week 6. by then im sure every other sch has finished eoys and are celebrating alrd T.T while we poor girls still struggle.
pfft. soon. counting down to 27 days later. when eoys are officially over.
oh i should be counting down to my grade 8 piano exam results too. my fren got it back, and guess what? she passed and passed by 17 marks. she said she screwed up. right like i believe. heh she's PRO la. wonder what her screw up was. sigh wishing and hoping for a miracle to happen.
do miracles ever happen?
Saturday, September 16, 2006
breaking point
everyone has a breaking point.
for me, perhaps that was it.
the last straw happened, and everything just came crashing down. the tears just came, and everything that made me happy was diminished to the unknown depths of my mind. shouldn't tears have limits? no, tears still came when i thought there were none left.
where did my optimism go? my usual cheerful self that i display when im in front of ppl?
no i have had enough of pretense. i couldn't take it anymore. it was just too much for me to take it. what "it" is, i have no idea. i don't noe, and i can't be bothered to know anymore. i just noe that im very very tired of trying, striving and going for things when even if i do get it, they are nv what i really wanted in the first place.
i go through much troubles, trying to overcome all the obstacles, and yes i do overcome them. i achieve my goals, but they were nv my intended goals really. it was always changed a little, but well it was cause for happiness all the same.
was.
now i don't noe how to feel. i think it might have been the weather...it was simply too cold and gloomy. i shut myself in my room and sat on my bed in darkness, listening to my mp3 and trying to sing along. it helped a bit, and it helped clear my mind.
i could slowly think through everything and decide.
i have decided that i will not fall. i will not give up. this is just how things happen, and i have to learn to deal with it. whether i like it or not.
im going to prove that i have a high pain threshold. i noe i have a super low one, and i can't stand pain, can't stand blood. but now im going to DEVELOP one even if im not. and i shall try to learn to be ambidextrous. though im sure i won't achieve this goal yet again. my injury isn't serious enough.
mind you, don't ever shake my hand ok. it hurts like hell when u squeeze or shake my hand. esp ppl who love to do that squeezing thing that hurts a lottt even without injury.
i can't move my finger without hurting. i can't make use of that muscle without hurting. i can't play the piano without hurting. and in every single piece, i have to use that finger and stretch like siao for about, 100 times in total? not forgetting the scales? where u have to stretch until ur fingers are going to break?
im just going to try my best and i'll tell the examiner. i won't cry bcos of this pain, i don't care. im going to be able to bear this pain and stop being such a spoilsport. whether im going to fail or not, i'll just accept it. exams don't matter that much to me anymore. i just hope that this will recover soon, i miss playing the piano properly...it better not be permanant...
ysc was fun. loads of things were fun. court shoes were torture, blazers were suffocating, and ties were strangling. but they really make u look pro, and i felt pro. it was a wonderfully great experience, and we got merit award! unexpectedly. can't wait for ssef next yr. i so <3 our poster!
blaming. regrets. despair. i hate myself for all that. can't i just forget about all that and focus on what i should do? it's just all my bad points appearing at the same time, the hot-headedness, the stubbornness, the selfishness, the depressingness parts of myself all coming out at the same time. there's more, i can't think of, but comeon! cheer up! it's not the end of the world!
yeah i noe it's not the end of the world. even now, i believe that this wasn't the real breaking point. it's not serious enough to be one. it just felt like one then...but now, perhaps it was just a break i needed to take. there's still a long way to go, and im still young. undoubtedly, more troubles will come, and not to worry. i'll stand fast and overcome them one by one, albeit any breaks i need to take to move on.
yep. anything is possible as long as you are still alive. anything is possible as long as there's still that shimmer of hope, that bubble of hope. yeah?
for me, perhaps that was it.
the last straw happened, and everything just came crashing down. the tears just came, and everything that made me happy was diminished to the unknown depths of my mind. shouldn't tears have limits? no, tears still came when i thought there were none left.
where did my optimism go? my usual cheerful self that i display when im in front of ppl?
no i have had enough of pretense. i couldn't take it anymore. it was just too much for me to take it. what "it" is, i have no idea. i don't noe, and i can't be bothered to know anymore. i just noe that im very very tired of trying, striving and going for things when even if i do get it, they are nv what i really wanted in the first place.
i go through much troubles, trying to overcome all the obstacles, and yes i do overcome them. i achieve my goals, but they were nv my intended goals really. it was always changed a little, but well it was cause for happiness all the same.
was.
now i don't noe how to feel. i think it might have been the weather...it was simply too cold and gloomy. i shut myself in my room and sat on my bed in darkness, listening to my mp3 and trying to sing along. it helped a bit, and it helped clear my mind.
i could slowly think through everything and decide.
i have decided that i will not fall. i will not give up. this is just how things happen, and i have to learn to deal with it. whether i like it or not.
im going to prove that i have a high pain threshold. i noe i have a super low one, and i can't stand pain, can't stand blood. but now im going to DEVELOP one even if im not. and i shall try to learn to be ambidextrous. though im sure i won't achieve this goal yet again. my injury isn't serious enough.
mind you, don't ever shake my hand ok. it hurts like hell when u squeeze or shake my hand. esp ppl who love to do that squeezing thing that hurts a lottt even without injury.
i can't move my finger without hurting. i can't make use of that muscle without hurting. i can't play the piano without hurting. and in every single piece, i have to use that finger and stretch like siao for about, 100 times in total? not forgetting the scales? where u have to stretch until ur fingers are going to break?
im just going to try my best and i'll tell the examiner. i won't cry bcos of this pain, i don't care. im going to be able to bear this pain and stop being such a spoilsport. whether im going to fail or not, i'll just accept it. exams don't matter that much to me anymore. i just hope that this will recover soon, i miss playing the piano properly...it better not be permanant...
ysc was fun. loads of things were fun. court shoes were torture, blazers were suffocating, and ties were strangling. but they really make u look pro, and i felt pro. it was a wonderfully great experience, and we got merit award! unexpectedly. can't wait for ssef next yr. i so <3 our poster!
blaming. regrets. despair. i hate myself for all that. can't i just forget about all that and focus on what i should do? it's just all my bad points appearing at the same time, the hot-headedness, the stubbornness, the selfishness, the depressingness parts of myself all coming out at the same time. there's more, i can't think of, but comeon! cheer up! it's not the end of the world!
yeah i noe it's not the end of the world. even now, i believe that this wasn't the real breaking point. it's not serious enough to be one. it just felt like one then...but now, perhaps it was just a break i needed to take. there's still a long way to go, and im still young. undoubtedly, more troubles will come, and not to worry. i'll stand fast and overcome them one by one, albeit any breaks i need to take to move on.
yep. anything is possible as long as you are still alive. anything is possible as long as there's still that shimmer of hope, that bubble of hope. yeah?
Sunday, September 10, 2006
enough is enough
as you grow older, you find yourself bombarded with many many things. many unexpected things.
you just have to learn to deal with it.
and you learn.
hopefully, you don't give up, then you'll learn.
for me, i think i have grown more mature over the years in rgs. i think im super stressed up, but this forces me to learn.
here are the things coming up:
math test = this wed
show and share -REMEMBER FOR GOODNESS' SAKE!- = this wed
ysc = this sat
deadline for ss pt
chem pt
and physics pt = week 2
piano exam = week 2 tuesday
geog test = week 3 monday
french eoy week 3 friday
eoys = week 6
and countless other unnamed stuff.
im going to be real busy this coming weekend.
just hope im not falling sick. i am getting headaches whenever i think hard about something and get focused, ie. when i do homework, pt, and generally anything stressful.
like my stressful life isn't stressed enough, i have yet more problems. but i can settle them, right? yes im sure i can.
even piano has let me down. i can only take comfort in songs. singing. singing has let me down b4, and since then im afraid of it. but no choice. singing is still my love. <3
ahh such a crappy post. i don't blog much, and when i do, it's when i want to organise my thoughts i guess. whoever is reading this must be 满头雾水 by now. forgive me. im sorry.
you just have to learn to deal with it.
and you learn.
hopefully, you don't give up, then you'll learn.
for me, i think i have grown more mature over the years in rgs. i think im super stressed up, but this forces me to learn.
here are the things coming up:
show and share -REMEMBER FOR GOODNESS' SAKE!- = this wed
ysc = this sat
deadline for ss pt
chem pt
and physics pt = week 2
piano exam = week 2 tuesday
geog test = week 3 monday
french eoy week 3 friday
eoys = week 6
and countless other unnamed stuff.
im going to be real busy this coming weekend.
just hope im not falling sick. i am getting headaches whenever i think hard about something and get focused, ie. when i do homework, pt, and generally anything stressful.
like my stressful life isn't stressed enough, i have yet more problems. but i can settle them, right? yes im sure i can.
even piano has let me down. i can only take comfort in songs. singing. singing has let me down b4, and since then im afraid of it. but no choice. singing is still my love. <3
ahh such a crappy post. i don't blog much, and when i do, it's when i want to organise my thoughts i guess. whoever is reading this must be 满头雾水 by now. forgive me. im sorry.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
meme
ok me being quite bored is doing this. and mind you my com is super screwed, hard disk spoilt so not much music available. only plenty of rainie yang's songs ^^ and some angela ones -i dun even like- and generally jap songs and stuff. sigh i miss my old playlist ):
turn on Windows Media Player/Winamp/whatever you use
as MP3 and put it in shuffle mode. For every question, press "next song".
Enter title to answer the question.
1. How does the world see me?
My Graduation (uhhhh. is that good?)
2. Will I have a happy life?
Time goes by (i suppose i will as time goes by? >.<)
3. What do my friends really think of me?
What's left of me. (o.O they think of me by what's left of me? what IS left of me?)
4. Do people secretly lust after me?
Rumbling Hearts (hahaha i suppose that's yes? =P it's quite a nice song though)
5. How can you be happy?
Planetarium (= i need astro in my life! haha)
6. What should I do with my life?
Jewel Song (uhh by looking for the jewel -and stuff about remembering-?)
7. Why must life be so full of pain?
Pandora. (yes bcos ppl keep opening pandora boxes despite knowing it's not right)
8. Will I ever have children?
fragile (omggggg. does that mean im fragile or my children are??? i wannn children ):)
9. Will I die happy?
Ballade Pour Adeline. (haha i suppose that's yes? or maybe not. after all this song sounds like an elegy for someone dead =P)
10. What is some good advice for me?
保护色. (uhh it's telling me to protect myself? err...)
11. What is happiness?
口袋的天空. (hahaha it's all in the pocket. just a hand's reach away ^^)
12. What's my favorite fetish?
Never End. (uhh that i believe that things will nv end? so not true lor.)
13. How will I be remembered?
单眼皮. (hahaha by my single eyelids? i think i have hidden double eyelids. oh well definitely dun want to be remembered by that. i would rather be remembered by my eyes ^^)
14. What is your love life like?
乖不乖 (>.< i wonder how obedient my bf will be...)
15. What's your life motto?
My faith. (ahaaa finally one that is somewhat logical and makes sense. i think it's kindof true hahaha)
16. What do your parents think of you?
找不到. (ehh i can't be found? hmm perhaps my heart and mind can't be found by them...as in they don't understand me. hmm. I LOVE THIS SONG BTW)
17.What's your favorite hobby?
White Love. (uhhh. finding a bf during white christmas? or do u mean innocent love. T.T no idea it's some jap song i don't understand. haha but it sounds not bad la)
18. What does your best friend really think of you?
Temperature. (what the...? what about my temperature? -.-" this is soaccurate la)
19. What's the worst thing about you?
喜欢你没道理. (errr that i like ppl for no reason ah. is that a bad thing? haha)
20. Describe your mind
Bridge. (hey quite accurate! im a bridge for ppl and frenship and stuff! and for learning stuff! yay)
21. How will you die?
只想爱你. (uh by loving someone to death and not getting the love back? that's sad. i don't want to have unrequited love ): i love this song too btw!)
22. How does your crush feel about you?
Someday we'll know. (ok im still waiting for that day? ya i really wonder what my crush feel about me =.=")
23. What is your wedding going to be like?
Fragile Heart. (awww i shall protect our hearts no matter what! hahaha)
24. What about your honeymoon?
芥末巧克力. (uh i haven't tried it b4. isit nice? i guess it means trying new stuff and challenging ourselves to fun stuff? for the adventurous ppl i guess...)
25. Describe the last day of your life
Bidama. (some jap song by ai otsuka that's super upbeat and catchy. does that mean it's going to be happy? or perhaps it's going to be unknown since i don't noe what bidama means T.T haha)
26. Why does life suck?
Neko Ni Fuusen (translation. a cat with a balloon. uhhh so life sucks bcos cats have a balloon? perhaps it means that when animals act like humans and um take balloons?)
27. Why does life rule?
失眠的睡美人. (ehhh bcos sleeping beauty loses sleep waiting for her prince charming? errrr. maybe it rules bcos everyone's waiting for THE moment of love...btw this song is lovely too ^^)
28. What will you be famous for?
暧昧. (COOL! i'll be cool for my ambiguity! kindof nice and mysterious ^^ one of my favourite songs too!)
29. What's the craziest thing you'll ever do?
U-Boat. (i suppose it has to be. since i have no idea what u-boat is. probably some kindof boat. i hate the sea anw.)
30. Will you achieve your goals?
Yesterday and Today. (ok me being so procrastinator i will achieve my goals for once, yesterday and today. =.=" how wonderful)
31. What will your future job be like?
Aimer. (o.O for those who don't take french, it's to like. i hope it means i will like my job.)
32. And your party life?
Amrita ("Translated as the elixir of the Gods, from original Hindu mythology of a drink that could bestow mortality." definition found from google. it's a super sweet jap song. i love it (: so perhaps my party life is sweet?)
33. Overall, will you be happy?
Life is like a boat. (goodness. i alrd said i hate the sea. if it's like a boat won't i be horrified to death. =P if it's a nice big luxury cruise where i can have fun all the time and the boat won't sink then i don't mind, though ^^)
34. Or will you just deal with it?
Birthday Song. (!!!!! i'll deal with it by growing yet another year of wisdom, celebrating my birthdays? oh well a super happy song anw, so should be that im happy la. haha)
overall this meme thing is super inaccurate la. crap. oso bcos i have a lousy variety of songs. i once tried this with my comprehensive playlist and it was better. i rmb it was rather accurate then. haha ohwell.
turn on Windows Media Player/Winamp/whatever you use
as MP3 and put it in shuffle mode. For every question, press "next song".
Enter title to answer the question.
1. How does the world see me?
My Graduation (uhhhh. is that good?)
2. Will I have a happy life?
Time goes by (i suppose i will as time goes by? >.<)
3. What do my friends really think of me?
What's left of me. (o.O they think of me by what's left of me? what IS left of me?)
4. Do people secretly lust after me?
Rumbling Hearts (hahaha i suppose that's yes? =P it's quite a nice song though)
5. How can you be happy?
Planetarium (= i need astro in my life! haha)
6. What should I do with my life?
Jewel Song (uhh by looking for the jewel -and stuff about remembering-?)
7. Why must life be so full of pain?
Pandora. (yes bcos ppl keep opening pandora boxes despite knowing it's not right)
8. Will I ever have children?
fragile (omggggg. does that mean im fragile or my children are??? i wannn children ):)
9. Will I die happy?
Ballade Pour Adeline. (haha i suppose that's yes? or maybe not. after all this song sounds like an elegy for someone dead =P)
10. What is some good advice for me?
保护色. (uhh it's telling me to protect myself? err...)
11. What is happiness?
口袋的天空. (hahaha it's all in the pocket. just a hand's reach away ^^)
12. What's my favorite fetish?
Never End. (uhh that i believe that things will nv end? so not true lor.)
13. How will I be remembered?
单眼皮. (hahaha by my single eyelids? i think i have hidden double eyelids. oh well definitely dun want to be remembered by that. i would rather be remembered by my eyes ^^)
14. What is your love life like?
乖不乖 (>.< i wonder how obedient my bf will be...)
15. What's your life motto?
My faith. (ahaaa finally one that is somewhat logical and makes sense. i think it's kindof true hahaha)
16. What do your parents think of you?
找不到. (ehh i can't be found? hmm perhaps my heart and mind can't be found by them...as in they don't understand me. hmm. I LOVE THIS SONG BTW)
17.What's your favorite hobby?
White Love. (uhhh. finding a bf during white christmas? or do u mean innocent love. T.T no idea it's some jap song i don't understand. haha but it sounds not bad la)
18. What does your best friend really think of you?
Temperature. (what the...? what about my temperature? -.-" this is so
19. What's the worst thing about you?
喜欢你没道理. (errr that i like ppl for no reason ah. is that a bad thing? haha)
20. Describe your mind
Bridge. (hey quite accurate! im a bridge for ppl and frenship and stuff! and for learning stuff! yay)
21. How will you die?
只想爱你. (uh by loving someone to death and not getting the love back? that's sad. i don't want to have unrequited love ): i love this song too btw!)
22. How does your crush feel about you?
Someday we'll know. (ok im still waiting for that day? ya i really wonder what my crush feel about me =.=")
23. What is your wedding going to be like?
Fragile Heart. (awww i shall protect our hearts no matter what! hahaha)
24. What about your honeymoon?
芥末巧克力. (uh i haven't tried it b4. isit nice? i guess it means trying new stuff and challenging ourselves to fun stuff? for the adventurous ppl i guess...)
25. Describe the last day of your life
Bidama. (some jap song by ai otsuka that's super upbeat and catchy. does that mean it's going to be happy? or perhaps it's going to be unknown since i don't noe what bidama means T.T haha)
26. Why does life suck?
Neko Ni Fuusen (translation. a cat with a balloon. uhhh so life sucks bcos cats have a balloon? perhaps it means that when animals act like humans and um take balloons?)
27. Why does life rule?
失眠的睡美人. (ehhh bcos sleeping beauty loses sleep waiting for her prince charming? errrr. maybe it rules bcos everyone's waiting for THE moment of love...btw this song is lovely too ^^)
28. What will you be famous for?
暧昧. (COOL! i'll be cool for my ambiguity! kindof nice and mysterious ^^ one of my favourite songs too!)
29. What's the craziest thing you'll ever do?
U-Boat. (i suppose it has to be. since i have no idea what u-boat is. probably some kindof boat. i hate the sea anw.)
30. Will you achieve your goals?
Yesterday and Today. (ok me being so procrastinator i will achieve my goals for once, yesterday and today. =.=" how wonderful)
31. What will your future job be like?
Aimer. (o.O for those who don't take french, it's to like. i hope it means i will like my job.)
32. And your party life?
Amrita ("Translated as the elixir of the Gods, from original Hindu mythology of a drink that could bestow mortality." definition found from google. it's a super sweet jap song. i love it (: so perhaps my party life is sweet?)
33. Overall, will you be happy?
Life is like a boat. (goodness. i alrd said i hate the sea. if it's like a boat won't i be horrified to death. =P if it's a nice big luxury cruise where i can have fun all the time and the boat won't sink then i don't mind, though ^^)
34. Or will you just deal with it?
Birthday Song. (!!!!! i'll deal with it by growing yet another year of wisdom, celebrating my birthdays? oh well a super happy song anw, so should be that im happy la. haha)
overall this meme thing is super inaccurate la. crap. oso bcos i have a lousy variety of songs. i once tried this with my comprehensive playlist and it was better. i rmb it was rather accurate then. haha ohwell.
Friday, August 18, 2006
stupid quizzes.
Zn... Zinc
You scored 25 Mass, 39 Electronegativity, 55 Metal, and 0 Radioactivity!
You have a strong sense of the communal good and you aren't too demanding. You know better than to mess with the powers that be. You value being surronded by the right people, but don't care too much about what people beyond your group think of you. You are also the last element to be mentioned in every vitamin commercial, and have gained recognition throughout the 50+ community as the very symbol of "completeness." Hmm, you might be good at taking care of sick people, but that might be hogwash too.
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
k this is super lame T.T i better go do proper work now. zinc is odd. plus the 99% thing is super inaccurate. i mean, my radioactivity is 0 =.=" shouldn't that mean it's higher than everyone else's by 0%?
plus watch the music video in the previous post! it's nice. ^^
You scored 25 Mass, 39 Electronegativity, 55 Metal, and 0 Radioactivity!
You have a strong sense of the communal good and you aren't too demanding. You know better than to mess with the powers that be. You value being surronded by the right people, but don't care too much about what people beyond your group think of you. You are also the last element to be mentioned in every vitamin commercial, and have gained recognition throughout the 50+ community as the very symbol of "completeness." Hmm, you might be good at taking care of sick people, but that might be hogwash too.
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
| You scored higher than 99% on Mass | ||
| You scored higher than 99% on Electroneg | ||
| You scored higher than 99% on Metal | ||
| You scored higher than 99% on Radioactivity |
| Link: The Which Chemical Element Am I Test written by effataigus on OkCupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test |
 | Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDf) Sonnets want Love and have high ideals about it. They're conscientious people, caring & careful. You yourself have deep convictions, and you devote a lot of thought to romance and what it should be. This will frighten away most potential mates, but that's okay, because you're very choosy with your affections anyway. You'd absolutely refuse to date someone dumber than you, for instance.
You probably have lots of female friends, and they have a special soft spot for you. Babies do, too, at the tippy-top of their baby skulls.  ALWAYS AVOID: The 5-Night Stand, The False Messiah, The Hornivore, The Last Man on Earth CONSIDER: The Loverboy |
Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
k this is super lame T.T i better go do proper work now. zinc is odd. plus the 99% thing is super inaccurate. i mean, my radioactivity is 0 =.=" shouldn't that mean it's higher than everyone else's by 0%?
plus watch the music video in the previous post! it's nice. ^^
Monday, August 14, 2006
过敏 sensitive by rainie 杨丞琳
for some reason i love sad songs. whether im happy or sad, i love to listen to sad songs. i guess that's y i like rainie yang's songs. she sings quite a few sad songs.
one of my personal favourites as follow:
i guess at the last part she's supposed to be jumping off the building?
one of my personal favourites as follow:
i guess at the last part she's supposed to be jumping off the building?
Sunday, August 13, 2006
new music
decided that this blog needs some nice music. the only one i could find is this song "Aimer" from Roméo et Juliette. super touching lyrics and melody. Definitely my favourite french song.
Roméo et Juliette:
R: Aimer c'est ce qu'y a d'plus beau
Aimer c'est monter si haut
Et toucher les ailes des oiseaux
Aimer c'est ce qu'y a d'plus beau
J: Aimer c'est voler le temps
Aimer c'est rester vivant
Et brûler au cœur d'un volcan
Aimer c'est c'qu'y a de plus grand
R,J: Aimer c'est plus fort que tout
Donner le meilleur de nous
Aimer et sentir son cœur
Aimer pour avoir moins peur
R, J, Chœurs: Aimer c'est ce qu'y a d'plus beau
Aimer c'est monter si haut
Et toucher les ailes des oiseaux
Aimer c'est ce qu'y a d'plus beau
Aimer c'est voler le temps
Aimer c'est rester vivant
Et brûler au cœur d'un volcan
Aimer c'est c'qu'y a de plus grand
Aimer c'est brûler ses nuits
Aimer c'est payer le prix
Et donner un sens à sa vie
Aimer c'est brûler ses nuits
Aimer c'est ce qu'y a d'plus beau
Aimer c'est monter si haut
Et toucher les ailes des oiseaux
Aimer c'est ce qu'y a d'plus beau
Aimer...
haha shall not be bothered to translate. the lyrics generally are metaphors and mushy stuff about love. touching. i'll never forget this song.
Roméo et Juliette:
R: Aimer c'est ce qu'y a d'plus beau
Aimer c'est monter si haut
Et toucher les ailes des oiseaux
Aimer c'est ce qu'y a d'plus beau
J: Aimer c'est voler le temps
Aimer c'est rester vivant
Et brûler au cœur d'un volcan
Aimer c'est c'qu'y a de plus grand
R,J: Aimer c'est plus fort que tout
Donner le meilleur de nous
Aimer et sentir son cœur
Aimer pour avoir moins peur
R, J, Chœurs: Aimer c'est ce qu'y a d'plus beau
Aimer c'est monter si haut
Et toucher les ailes des oiseaux
Aimer c'est ce qu'y a d'plus beau
Aimer c'est voler le temps
Aimer c'est rester vivant
Et brûler au cœur d'un volcan
Aimer c'est c'qu'y a de plus grand
Aimer c'est brûler ses nuits
Aimer c'est payer le prix
Et donner un sens à sa vie
Aimer c'est brûler ses nuits
Aimer c'est ce qu'y a d'plus beau
Aimer c'est monter si haut
Et toucher les ailes des oiseaux
Aimer c'est ce qu'y a d'plus beau
Aimer...
haha shall not be bothered to translate. the lyrics generally are metaphors and mushy stuff about love. touching. i'll never forget this song.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
minesweeper
im feeling weird now and is simply playing minesweeper. actually i should be doing homework and mugging for the tests coming up but well didn't feel like doing anything worthwhile, so well here i am blogging ^^" why are we forced to retake english! ahhhh saddddd. sighh i dun want to sit through the whole 1 hour 40 min paper again, esp summary ): i mean all the efforts we put in for the previous one was wasted.
argh shall not think about it. things to rmb!
week 9 mon: math SA2 + chinese SA1. later on go through eng previously-summative-turned-formative assessment.
week 9 tues: chem SPA
week 10 mon: photo-taking -rmb!-
week 10 tues: english compre -sigh again-
week 10 thurs: chem EOI
perhaps going watch da vinci code somewhere around post exam period to celebrate. -cheers up-
i think that everyone is a leader in a way, just that u dun need a leadership role to show it. in daily life u can do it. of course it is difficult to show the leadership in everyone. u need initiative...but i must agree that monitors blah aren't always leadership roles, but that doesn't mean they cannot be. some chairpersons and prefects can really lead the class and even the whole school. especially since they are holding the title, they take more initiative to lead, they have the licence to lead that kindof thing.
ok im going go to sleep. -plonks flat on face out of fatigue-
argh shall not think about it. things to rmb!
week 9 mon: math SA2 + chinese SA1. later on go through eng previously-summative-turned-formative assessment.
week 9 tues: chem SPA
week 10 mon: photo-taking -rmb!-
week 10 tues: english compre -sigh again-
week 10 thurs: chem EOI
perhaps going watch da vinci code somewhere around post exam period to celebrate. -cheers up-
i think that everyone is a leader in a way, just that u dun need a leadership role to show it. in daily life u can do it. of course it is difficult to show the leadership in everyone. u need initiative...but i must agree that monitors blah aren't always leadership roles, but that doesn't mean they cannot be. some chairpersons and prefects can really lead the class and even the whole school. especially since they are holding the title, they take more initiative to lead, they have the licence to lead that kindof thing.
ok im going go to sleep. -plonks flat on face out of fatigue-
Friday, April 21, 2006
wheewheewhee
| Greed: | Very Low | |
| Gluttony: | Low | |
| Wrath: | Low | |
| Sloth: | Medium | |
| Envy: | Very Low | |
| Lust: | Very Low | |
| Pride: | Medium |
Discover Your Sins - Click Here
lalala. HAHA yes indeed im rather lazy! me have slothness.
time to revise eng/math/chem/physics/chinese/bio. that's a lot. :O
Monday, April 10, 2006
boink---by cherica
| You Are 40% Boyish and 60% Girlish |
You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be. |
ahh philo test tmr. crap. go study le. byeeee.
love, cherica.
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