Just taking a break till the new year...

Merry Christmas to all!

Little thought...

1 Timothy 4:8

For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

I read this and it made me feel better about my lack of physical training for the moment. Yeah, I need to get back on it and will soon, but I am trying hard to keep God in the center. It was a reminder to me this morning that the God part is the most important one. I already knew that...I just don't think about it much.

I missed writing this yesterday. It's a great way for me to focus on God on purpose each morning. I don't have much today...just that little thought.

Purposefully living a godly life matters.

Rainbows and Headaches

Genesis 9:16
Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.”

I woke up with a headache this morning. It was bad enough that I had Lisa take Noah to school instead of the normal "all go to school together" trip. However, it wasn't bad enough to knock me out for the morning. It was (and still is a little) a good headache.

Just like the rainbow reminds me of the covenant between God and all living creatures, the headache reminds me of my sweet girl. It's not even a sad reminder. I'm not reminded of the pain she endured...I'm reminded of her tenacity and ability to fight. The headaches I used to dread, I somewhat welcome these days. Yep, I am a little weird. You'll know I've really lost it when I make a video called "double headaches" that rivals the "double rainbow" dude.

It's a random thought this morning, but I was reminded to keep fighting.

Headaches and Rainbows. What does it all mean? hahahaaaaaaa


p.s. If that post makes no sense to you then you need to go to youtube and search double rainbow dude...also, you should get out more.

Who Cares?

1 Peter 5:7

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.


Sometimes I forget that God actually cares for me. Yes, I know in my head that He loves me. Yes, I can tell you the scriptures that reassure me. Yes, I have more blessings than I can count. But, when I am missing Ava I momentarily forget all of it.

Some days its not so much that I am missing Ava, it could just be that the network is down at work... it doesn't have to be the big disasters...I can forget He cares for me in the small stuff too.

This scripture this morning was a good reminder to me. It reminds me to make sure I give this stuff to Him to handle. He wants it. I am glad He does because I usually don't. I'd rather not suffer, thank you very much.

I know how much I care for my kids. If I could only remember each day how much more it is that He cares for me.

A great reminder to me this morning...give Him everything, cares included.

God Honors.

1 Samuel 2:30

But now the LORD declares: "... Those who honor me I will honor..."

It can't be my motivation, but it's pretty awesome to know that if I honor God, He will honor me. I have watched this principle my whole life. I watched my parents up close. They chose (and still choose) to purposefully honor God every step of the way and in every area of their lives. I've seen the blessing that results. Among many other things, it turned out a family that loves each other and a marriage that is an example for all to see. Those are both direct blessings from God.

I've often heard people say, "If only I would have ______ more." I've never heard anyone fill in that blank with "been farther from God".

He keeps His promises. He honors us when we honor Him. Honor God with your life and watch what He does with it. I'm going to keep trying.

Faith/Work

James 2:17

...faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

There is an element of faith that makes it real. It's called doing something that shows you believe. Do I believe Jesus was who He said He was for every single part of my life? Absolutely. Then why doesn't every part of my life take action toward that faith? I have no idea. Well, other than the obvious answer that I am human and not Jesus.

I want to be fully devoted. Somedays I wonder if I'm even halfly (oh yeah, it's a word) devoted. My faith in God is what I want people to see because of who I reflect not because of what I say. I want them to see hard work, a kind heart, a loyal friend, a loving husband and father...etc. Those things reflect my faith. The trick is getting them all headed in one direction at the same time. It's like herding cats.

Gonna be thinking about this one today. No room for laziness when it comes to my relationship with Christ. Some days I'm better at it than others, but like all of my world right now... I'm just gonna worry about today...tomorrow has enough trouble of its own.

Others.

Genesis 12:2
“I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing."

I spent some time thinking this morning. I remembered back to when I learned about God saying to Abraham that he would bless him. When I read the end of that verse, it jumps at me a bit. God certainly told Abraham that he would take care of him in huge ways, but he then said..."and you will be a blessing." Now I am not super-translator, so I don't know the exact context for what a conversation with God looks like back in Old Testament times. However, it still holds today no matter how you look at it. I have been blessed so that I can bless others.

Everything I have is God's. He gave everything, including his son, to me so that I would be blessed. I give/gave everything back so that I may be a blessing.

My brother Isaac said this as he dismissed us from the church service at Summit yesterday,"...the good news is great even for those who do not believe it. If for no other reason than those who do." I love that.

Today, I will aim to be that guy. The one who is a blessing because I have been so richly blessed.

Trouble

John 16:33

33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

What a great promise and it applies to all trouble. It may be that when you read this you thought I was having a rough Ava morning. Actually quite the opposite, I really enjoyed her this morning and I smiled and laughed a bunch. I'll tell ya where the trouble is... stupid technology breaks and it makes me mad. Internet and phone problems...grrr.

There are days that I spend all day fixing problems and don't ever end up touching the list of to-do's for that day. That's frustrating. Trivial? Probably. But when you consider what God did for us in sending his son here to die, it gets easier to see that He came here to overcome every part of this world's trouble, no matter how trivial.

So, today I'll be focusing on the fact that I know God's got it, all of it. He's overcome the world. That's quite a bit more than I've done so I'm gonna go ahead a recognize that and quit getting all bent outta shape. Some days that's easier than others. Today I am going to actually put energy into trying it.

Fruit (not apples)

John 15:5

5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

I memorized this verse when I was a kid. My mom quizzed my brothers and I on a regular basis right before we'd go to bed. It was different verses all the time. This one stuck in my head. I remember thinking even then, "crap, apart from God I can do nothing?" Well, actually I can, it just won't bear fruit. SO basically, I would have been working toward something for no reason since it will have no eternal value if God is not in it.

I made this complicated. But, it's real simple. I have to involve Jesus in my daily journey and watch what He does in my life and others. It just doesn't last if I do it on my own.

I'm gonna ponder this one today.

Rest?

Psalm 127:2 It's useless to rise early and go to bed late, and work your worried fingers to the bone. Don't you know he enjoys giving rest to those he loves?

Ha! So I used this one for me this morning since I got up a half hour later than I wanted to. I do recognize there are days when I need to sleep a little longer to make sure I am who I need to be for my family. Also, there are days when I need to get up earlier to make sure I am who I need to be for my family. I can't decide that when the alarm goes off. I have to decide it before I go to bed. If I wait until the quacking duck of the iphone gently reminds me I am done sleeping, then I will no doubt hit snooze until I am awakened by the sunrise.

I didn't really decide last night, I decided at the first duck quack this morning.

Regardless, I am going to go with this verse this morning. God gave me rest because He loves me. Surely, it had nothing to do with me staying up so late???

This is actually just a reminder to me today to rest in the Lord. He enjoys it when I do. Currently, God is enjoying giving Lisa and Noah some rest :)

Serve

Joshua 24:15
choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or (A)the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."


I can't control everything, but I can control the tone of our home. I set it. It can be a peaceful one or a loud one, a loving one or a cold one, a Godly one or a not Godly one. Now, truth be told it's probably always somewhere sliding on that scale depending on the day. But, I know that the responsibility for my home rests with me.

There are days I don't want that responsibility. However, it doesn't matter. It's still mine. Much in the same way that there are days it would be easier to be single than married, or childless than having kids, or parentless than having parents...you are where God put you for a reason.

So, really you and I have two choices. We can decide with each action that we are going to serve the "gods which were beyond the river" (which just sounds like a scary movie to me) or the Lord. When it's laid out this way, it seems the choice is easy...when it's a matter of watching a football game instead of listening to your wife's story about her friend at work (this is made up...Lisa doesn't work outside the home...I'm not that stupid. ha!) well, the decision to serve the Lord in your home gets a little tougher, or should I say a bit fuzzier. Should you honor her by listening or honor Peyton Manning because you know he put a lot of hours in this week to prepare for the Bears? I think you know. Unfortunately, I do too.

It's not all clear cut, but my effort will continue to be there. As long as I am here, me and my house will serve the Lord. It's the only good option.

Fire Truck

Romans 5:3-5

3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

This weekend was great...until Saturday night when the fire truck drove by our house. No, there was no fire. It was Santa throwing out candy. This year was different. No one tried to bust out of the house to chase the candy. Lisa and I spent the next hours sitting around crying together. It was like 2x4 in the face.

I am working on getting to the place where I can glory in my sufferings (as Paul wrote in Romans) because of what it will produce, but I ain't there yet. Saturday night didn't feel like a celebration of a journey toward hope as we stopped through perseverance and character. It just felt like crap.

However, I know there is hope. It's what gets us going every single morning. I know God is good. He is so big and so mighty there is nothing that He cannot do. That being the case, our sufferings must be for some purpose if you believe in an all powerful God as I do. I love verses like this because they help me see that at least someone at some point saw a purpose in suffering. It helps me not only as we walk through the days without Ava here, but it helps me as I feel for others who are going through the same...or worse.

It's going to be a good day today. God is still good, all the time. I'm just too small to figure out how sometimes.

Discipline

Hebrews 12:11-No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.


It's so darn illusive. I have it locked down and then it shoots right back out. Yes, I got up everyday this week to spend time with God. However, I exercised once, went to bed late every night, and ate like I needed to make sure I was going to get through the winter hibernation. I am ridiculous. Not because of this week that looked like this, but because you could pick virtually any week from my adult life and it would look like this in some way. (great at one thing, train wreck in the others) I guess I just need to be better at multi-tasking.

I know God wants more from me and I owe it to him, so I'll keep trying. On this particular morning I am not discouraged about my lack of progress. I'm just happy to have made any step toward progress. Maybe next week is my week? I do entertain myself with these conversations. I think my "harvest of righteousness and peace" is a ways off :)

Discipline is not a project to be completed. If it were, I would have completed it on time. Instead, it's a long obedience in the same direction.

Well, I am about to go head out to the righteousness and peace farm...

Accountability

Proverbs 27:17-Iron sharpens iron, just as one man sharpens another.

I didn't miss writing this because I failed to get up this morning. I am staying true with at least that part of my new week of discipline... I'll report back on how well I am eating right and exercising at a later date when my report will be more fun for me to give.

I meet with a group of guys every Thursday morning at 5:45am (so I couldn't write at 5). We meet to pray, go through our lives from the past week, and encourage each other toward Christ filled lives. It's great. Also, I hate it. It's the place that I am challenged in ways that are uncomfortable for me. This particular group of guys started roughly 10 years ago...many on and offs in between, but we've been together a long time. Accountability has received a bad wrap over the years. If I was in a group that I had to just weekly report my sins...then I would hate it too. That's not what this group is. This group sees it's primary function as one that builds up...huge difference there.

Everyone should have the blessing of someone in their life who sharpens them. We weren't put on this earth to be comfortable, but to be used by God. Unfortunately for us, that purpose in our lives very often leads to discomfort. Fortunately, that discomfort often leads to growth (if we allow it to).

Iron sharpens iron. I am grateful for these guys that sharpen me.

Build it up.

Ephesians 4:29 - Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Oooohhhhhh, tough one. Only talk about what is helpful for building others up? I've met very few people in my life who have this "monster of a verse" mastered. I wonder why?

I get to hang around middle school boys on a fairly regular basis. Even the greatest of middle schoolers have trouble finding things they like about...well anything. I regularly hear about how stupid something is, or how goofy that teacher was, or how smelly some dude's feet are. It's how they connect with one another. Unfortunately, many of us have a rough time moving past that phase in our maturation process.

We get stuck in middle school. It's harder to be helpful and build something up than it is to tear it down. However, we are called to something greater. God's plan for our lives did not include showing our disgust for others. He put us here to collectively glorify Him with the complements of our individual gifts. That's hard to do when we are busting on someone because they are annoying, or have a drinking problem, or are overweight, or are promiscuous...or whatever.

The only way to truly live a life that builds others up is to intentionally think about them first. Only then do our own insecurities fade away.

My Checklist for today:

Build people up.

Encourage People.

God will use it to bring others closer because of it.

Day 2.

Today is the first day of the new format. In honor of the new format and at the request of my good friend Sue, I have changed a few things to make it a bit easier to read. I've classed up the joint, as they say. Let it be known that I worked out yesterday. I tried my best to do everything as light and easy as possible so that I would not be too sore today. It feels like someone beat me with a metal pole. Ok, done complaining. The new "short devotional" format that is just me writing as I randomly think through life and scripture, begins...NOW.

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."

I had to start with this verse. It's where I'm living right now. I do trust God. I know better than to lean on my own understanding (that part is actually easy to not do). It's the next part that gets me every darn time. "In all your ways, acknowledge Him." How bout we compromise and go with..."If you try to acknowledge Him in over 55% of your ways, He will make your paths straight?" I think I'd have a better chance of hitting that one on a daily basis and my paths might be a little straighter. That's still a majority.

I'm working hard to "acknowledge Him in all my ways", it's just not easy. It's a long refinement process that will never be complete until I see His face. (Which, have I mentioned I'm looking forward to?)

I'm headed out today to acknowledge God in every part of my day. My family deserves it and so does yours. The world would be better if we all hit 55%, but aim there and we'll be lucky to hit 30%. God knew this about us. The challenge of "all" our ways is the only way the point gets across...He deserves nothing less than 100% of me. It requires a purposeful decision at every step, all day long.

Well, here I go... hopefully tomorrow is day 3 and not day 1 again :)

An Attempt

When I go back and read my blog from the first days of writing, I see that I have been here before. Prior to the last 5 months, I spent most of my time attempting to implement new discipline tactics into my life. It's almost a hobby of mine. It's actually a really good thing. When left to myself, I do what I don't want to do and don't do what I should. The less discipline I have in my life, the more time I waste doing frivolous junk like watching tv, napping for no reason, eating really unhealthy...etc. So, after a run of life unlike any before...I am back on it.

Now, if you notice this blog title... I am attempting to jump back on the train. Oh, and I really will attempt it, but I also know that I set my alarm for 5am this morning and somehow didn't hear it, so I woke up at 5:45. Dang. Fail one. But, there is no fail without a try, right?

I am also going to re-work my blog. There will be stories of the Hunter family day and such, but it will be in the form of a Monday-Friday devotional. It will help me to write it, and maybe it will even help some of you to read it...I don't know.

What I do know is that I can no longer flail about. I'm not sorry I have flailed recently because I needed to for a time, but to honor God with my days I need to get back on the wagon. He gave me today's minutes and hours, so I should use them in a way that shows Him I'm thankful.

So, the first goal is getting to January 1 without missing a day. I will be getting up early to spend time with God, blogging, exercising, and eating healthy. Ridiculously, the last one will be the hardest.

Feel free to join me on the journey. Tomorrow hopefully will be day 2 and not day 1 again...ha! I know me well.

Because I love Magic.

We hit the Magic game tonight. The Redick's were kind enough to give us their seats for the night. Normally I just go with Noah, but because they have 3 seats we were all able to go for an incredibly fun evening.

Lisa slept about 2 hours over the last 48 due to some crazy thing called "Black Friday" or something like that. SO, she was a wee bit tired when we got home. However, it was a fun night out together. The Magic won. JJ played well. I ate a cheeseburger that cost $8.25.

We are doing ok! Our conversations about Ava are no less frequent, but they are many times filled with laughs amidst the tears.

It was a great night to just be out with family. I can't believe I have the one I do. I don't take it for granted for one second.

On a less serious note. The Magic are awesome.

Thanksgiving.

I am thankful this year. In the midst of incredible pain and suckiness, I am thankful for my family, friends, and the love we have from all of you. We don't understand God's plan, but we know He is good. It's all we have to hang on to. We miss Ava more than we thought it possible to miss someone, but we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is bigger than death. He conquered it. If only we were big enough to comprehend God's plan we would no doubt be better at walking through this. However, it's not what we are. We are small. God is big. So big, in fact, that He endured this for all of man kind with the death of His only son. I'd say I can't imagine, but He gave me the gift of knowing His pain, first hand. Ava is perfect now and I can't wait to see her.

I can't wait to be with her again, but until then I choose to be thankful. We know a love from friends and family that few are blessed to have. This day we will be thankful for her life and all of God's other blessings. We're still here, so he ain't done with us yet.

I'll never fear death. God gave me that gift on September 4th. I have so much to be thankful for. It's a weird Thanksgiving for us, but one I'll remember for the rest of my days. Thanks to all of you for walking the journey by our side.

Happy Thanksgiving, friends. You bless us every day.

Oh, just bloggin.

A good day. Dr. Joel and I spent a lot of time working through the next stages of Hunter Vision before he went on to do lens replacement surgeries all afternoon. I am fired up about what is to come for next year and Hunter Vision. It surely will be a great year as we continue to help people "see the world better."

That little catch phrase is one we use between us often. It represents our commitment to making sure that we are doing God's work with each dollar that we actually make through the clinic. We committed very early on to give 15% of all of Hunter Vision's profits to better the world for Christ. So when we say we help people "see the world better", what we mean is that because of them, we can actually give to change people's circumstance. We can send people on missions trips or go to remote places to fix people's eyes, or whatever...but a minimum of 15% is headed out the door to show Christ's love.

We talk about it regularly. I am sure 2011 is gonna be a great year for Hunter Vision, and therefore a great year for us to contribute.

Life is not about what you can get. It's about what you can give so that others may know Jesus. I am reminded of that every single day by a little 5 year old who lived a life that marked the world for Christ. We owe it to her to continue the tradition that she lived out...Just like her grandparents began.

Just today's thoughts. I'm sure I'll have more tomorrow.

I'm Back

It's been while. It's time to get back in the saddle. I'm in both emotionally and physically. I still miss the heck out of Ava everyday, but God is walking with us. Sometimes I feel him close, but I always feel her close. Not too sure why, but that is life for me right now.

I am back from my hunt and it was wonderful. It was a bittersweet time in the woods. There is a lot to think about when one is alone for hours on end. I spent a lot of time thinking about and talking to Ava. In between those conversations I saw a bunch of deer. I got 3 this year, so I wasn't too trigger happy in Ohio. The Ohio deer are left to grow another year except for the two my brother Isaac got for his family.

The time with brothers each year is irreplaceable. Even though Hunter Vision is only 3 months into it's existence, Dr. Joel and I couldn't not go. We have lots to do at Hunter Vision, but one thing I know is that family time trumps all other comforts of life. A week not in the office may not have been advisable by some, but it was necessary. There is always a reason not to spend time with those you love, but there is never one good enough. We had to go. Now, I am glad we did.

We had a plaque made that is on a beach tree in the middle of the woods overlooking a valley in north central Ohio. It reads, "AVA HUNTER...she guides the flight of the Hunter Brothers' arrow each November and watches over us until we meet again. Nov 1. 2004- Sept. 4th, 2010." We took our annual brothers photo in front of that plaque this year. It was a sweet time to remember the sweetest of life's blessings.

I shed a lot of tears in the woods this week. I remembered Ava and remembered that our God is good. He continues to bless us and we can see it if we look for it. Thanks to you all for your continued prayers. It matters. It has been an incredibly difficult 3 months, but God asks us to continue to press forward and assures us that he will provide. I'll keep counting on those provisions until I get what want...to see my girl again. Until then, we've got work to do...and a Vision Correction Center to build.

There is no place better to fix your eyes... on Jesus and at Hunter Vision. (In that order)

Just reporting in...

No need to worry...

No time to blog as I continue my hunting adventures...I'll fill everyone back in in a week or so when I am back in the saddle and the groove. Two of my favorite cliches. All is well right now in Hunter land. Thanks for praying for us as we just keep walkin' it out...

Made it.

Well, we made it through the last 2 days. It sucked, but we are now on the other side of it. Her birthday party was awesome. I dreaded it all day, but loved it once it got rolling. All of the people who were a big part of her life came to our house and we lit fireworks and sang happy birthday. What I expected to be full of sadness was so very full of fun and joy. Just how she likes it. Lisa was the mastermind behind the party. Have I mentioned how amazing she is? Keep us in your prayers as we walk through these first holidays. We just don't know what to expect emotionally. We made it through her birthday...now on to the other stuff. I was just thinking about how I have a 12 yr old and a 6 yr old...weird.

Ava Turns 6.

Here is last year's bday post:

My little girl turns 5 on Sunday. That is really weird to me. It seems like she was born 5 minutes ago, not 5 years ago. Even more weird is 13 years ago, Lisa and I were married...13 years from now, our kids will be out of the house. Where does time go? Why does it speed up more with every day you live?

I am grateful that God gave Ava to us. She is a beautiful little girl, inside and out. I could not love her more. She constantly keeps us laughing...and laughing is her favorite thing to do. God blessed the world with a strong little girl when he made Ava. I pray everyday she uses that strength to honor Him and her husband one day. I know she will.

I am still learning how to have a girl-child. They don't make sense to me, which I guess makes sense because they don't make sense to me when they grow up either (except for you, Lisa...you make perfect sense to me all the time**).

It's much harder for me to have a girl than a boy since my protection for her knows no limit...and my understanding of her knows all limit. I grew up in a house of boys...nothing that wasn't logical was allowed in our house and no problem couldn't be solved with a good, old fashioned, fist-fight. Currently, I cannot make that rule apply. I am a work in progress. I am hoping by the time I get to heaven, God will have allowed me to understand girls...even if but for a brief moment...

I'm mostly joking, but it definitely is different than raising a boy!

I am so glad she is growing up happy, healthy and knowing she is loved. What an awesome 5 years we have had and we look forward to so many more. Happy birthday, Ava! We love you like crazy!


**There always is an asterisk in writing that requires further investigation and may only be half true to make the author look better and the reader less offended.

Well, here we are a year later. Things changed this year...except for the part of me that doesn't understand girls. I still don't. Ava's 6th year of life blessed more than most could ever hope to. It's part of what I hang on to these days. I know she is in perfection and wouldn't want to be back here for anything, but days like today are tough stuff. We miss her so very much and struggle with the part of us that wants her right here. We still don't understand why God does stuff the way that he does, but are so thankful that we had the time on earth that we did with an amazing little girl. Her birthday will always be special to us. It's a day to remember and celebrate a life that marked thousands. Who knew that God had such a special plan for her? Ava, I am so incredibly blessed to be your dad. I can't wait to see you again. Save me a seat...I'll be there before you know it. Until then, I'll hang here and take care of your mom and brother. Don't fret (I know you aren't)...we are good.

Ava, Happy 6th Birthday. Your mom, brother and I love you so very much.

Great.

Wonderful family and friends here with us tonight. It made for a great night. I know Ava would love every minute of it (as a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure she did). I was dreading today, but it turned out great. I hope tomorrow is fun, too. It will for certain be weird, but I celebrate the fact that she is with Jesus. Likely dressed as Supergirl. Thankful.

Halloween.

It doesn't bother me. Some people get super freaked out by it, but I think it's kinda fun. Kids dressing up all goofy and people handing out candy is just another excuse for us to take some time from the normally scheduled day and hang out with friends and family. Ghosts, ghouls and goblins are kinda dumb. Why anyone would scare themselves on purpose is beyond me and leaves me questioning the intellect of those who choose to do that...but, the way we do Halloween... I dig it.

We have some friends and some family come over and hang out. I stay at the house with the other dads who don't dress up and hand out candy. Lisa dresses up with the kids and walks them around the neighborhood with all of their little dressed up buddies. Tomorrow will be more of the same.

Ava was some sort of super hero last year. This year she is my hero. I'll hand out candy to the kids that come by and drop an extra few pieces in the bucket for anyone dressed up like a super hero. It's gonna be a tough couple days, but I'm up for it. I miss her, but as one of you told me a while back...each day lived is another day closer to hanging with her again.

That's where I'm living today. Happy Halloween to all of you who I am not offending :)

Well Dang.

I love the Orlando Magic. Tonight, they did not love me back. I shouldn't care about a basketball game, but it makes me want to throw stuff around when we lose. I don't, but I want to. It's really not that significant in life, but tonight I am glad I could actually get mad at the game. It means I am able to engage in other things for a minute. Baby steps, but thanks to that terrible performance by the Magic, I am able to see that I am making slow progress.

Pray for us in the next few days. Ava turns six on November 1. That will for sure be a hard day for Lisa and me.

Magic and Stuff.

Noah and I hit the Amway Center tonight for the first NBA regular season game ever played there. We destroyed Washington and Noah loved every minute of the destruction. He is at a great age where he can think of nothing cooler than shooting one basket on that court. I can think of nothing cooler than staying as far away from that court as possible so as not to hurt or embarrass myself.

Speaking of embarrass...Stuff, the Magic's mascot came into row 15 and sat on my lap during the game. I was not sure whether to punch him or dump my popcorn bucket down his costume...I did neither. I just sat there while he sat on me and my pretzel. I figured if I stayed still he would move on. I was right.

Noah loved that. He thought it was such an honor for stuff to sit on me. Maybe next time I'll bring my taser. Well, I guess it was better than being on the jumbotron.

Luke.

Luke is 1. He is Joel and Lizzy's boy. A fine young man is he. He is distinguished enough to be perfectly polite in any setting and yet manly enough to wrestle a small bear cub in the wilderness.

Lisa and I got to watch Luke tonight while Dr. Joel and Lizzy went out on a date. It was really fun. We goofed around with him and played dumb games. Noah loved spending time with his little cousin throwing a ball back and forth for every bit of an hour. It was awesome. It was nice to have a bit of chaos back in the house. I never really knew I missed that part, but I do.

I thought tonight about how I want to teach Luke about what it means to be a Hunter. His dad will do most of that, but uncles have a role too. My uncles all taught (and still teach) me something different that made (makes) me better for my family. I learned a lot about the value of extended family and the heritage we share from them.

I want Luke to know about Ava. I want him to know what her life means to so many and what an absolute Hunter she was to her very core. He will be better for knowing it and her. I look forward to those days on hunting trips as we share those stories with him. His uncles and aunts love him more than he'll be able to grasp until he is much older, but I want him to know from very early on how much his cousin Ava loves him. (all of this applies to Lincoln and future nephews too)...

It was a great night. Family still means everything.

No, I haven't fallen off the planet.

It's been a few days. All is well here. We are clipping along and trying to make the most of each day. Lisa and I are still tying to figure out how to live life without Ava here with us, but we are getting there. Each day is a step forward and backward, depending on the moment at hand. The tears are fewer now. That is interesting. I wasn't sure if there would be a day that I didn't cry. I've now had a few. It's kinda weird.

Not much to report, but I felt like I should report that. I still want to look back on this one day and see what it was like to walk this journey. Part of that is to remember Ava the same 50 years from now and part of that is to help others as they walk through loss. Our lives have been changed forever... I don't want to forget how it happened.

I'll keep blogging.

Tattoos

Some people hate them. Some people like them. I happen to like them, much to the chagrin of my mother. But, she loves me anyway :) I have 2. I have one that says "doulos" which means "bond slave to Christ". I have another of an eagle with a heart in his talons. The heart reads "lisa". It was a present I got for her birthday a few years ago and she loved it.

I am thinking about another that in some way memorializes Ava's life and honors Noah. Not sure if or when I will get it, but it would mean a lot to me, so I likely will.

Lisa has always liked them, but never was one to get them. That changed when Ava left us here and went on to be with Jesus. She got this tattoo about a week after Ava passed away. It is an actual drawing that Ava did a few months before she got sick. It is the coolest thing I have ever seen and I tear up almost every time I see it.

Our girl is precious to us. This is just a little way we can remember her together. It's on Lisa's wrist and will be there forever.

Tattoos divide people sometimes. But, this one shouldn't.

Hunter Vision's first press release...

Some good stuff here. My brother is one smart fella.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE “Look at All Options When Choosing a LASIK Provider,” Central Florida Eye Surgeon Advises
ORLANDO, FLA. — The founding surgeon of Central Florida’s newest, world-class refractive eye surgery center says that patients need to take a close look at what LASIK providers offer before signing on for the procedure.
“The difference between now and 10 years ago in what these lasers can do is staggering. They're far faster, far more accurate,” says Joel Hunter, M.D., who opened Hunter Vision this summer at Orlando’s RDV Sportsplex and offers the latest diagnostic and surgical equipment for SBK-LASIK and lens replacement available today.
Dr. Hunter is the son and namesake of noted Central Florida minister, Joel C. Hunter, senior pastor of Northland, A Church Distributed. As a distinguished fellow from one of the most prestigious refractive surgery centers in the world, Dr. Hunter had his choice of jobs, but chose instead to create a practice with the latest technology that is set up for the patient's convenience ... not the doctor’s.
For those who are comparing LASIK providers, Dr. Hunter offers the following checklist:
1. WHAT KIND OF TESTING WILL YOU DO ON MY EYES?
The pre-operative exam that a surgeon performs is critical, explains Dr. Hunter. Standard exams only consider whether a person is a good candidate for LASIK. The Hunter Vision Analysis goes much deeper, using technology to render a detailed, three-dimensional view of a person’s eyes. This can help identify early cataract formation, signs of glaucoma and macular degeneration.
“We’ve helped several patients to catch serious eye problems, long before symptoms developed,” Dr. Hunter says.
2. DO YOU USE A LASER OR A BLADE TO PERFORM SURGERY?
Among LASIK providers nationally, about 50 percent still use a blade to perform the surgery. More and more providers are moving toward All-Laser LASIK. The new generation of All- Laser LASIK is called SBK, which disrupts fewer fibers and nerves, and improves post- operative corneal stability.
“Using a laser instead of a blade considerably enhances the safety and accuracy of the procedure,” Dr. Hunter explains. “At Hunter Vision, we opted for SBK-LASIK because it helps us provide a comfortable procedure with fast visual recovery.”
For Immediate Release Page 1 of 2
Hunter Vision 8701 Maitland Summit Blvd. Orlando, FL 32810 407 385-1620 info@huntervision.com www.huntervision.com
3. DO YOU INVEST IN THE LATEST TECHNOLOGY AVAILABLE?
Like all technology, refractive surgery is evolving. “It’s not uncommon for discount LASIK providers to provide ‘discounts’ in lieu of investing in new technology,” Dr. Hunter explains.
Hunter Vision uses the ALLEGRETTO WAVE® Eye-Q excimer laser with wavefront optimized technology. Its high-speed eye-tracker follows the eye’s fastest movements, checking the eye’s position hundreds of times per second while ensuring an accurate placement of each laser pulse on the cornea.
The decision to have LASIK is an important one, and patients should weigh their options. Dr. Hunter concludes: “Choose a practice that focuses on safety, diagnostic technology and post-operative follow-up. If you’re going to trust someone with something as important as your vision, then you should go in with your eyes open.”
ABOUT HUNTER VISION
Located in Orlando, Hunter Vision specializes in premier, bladeless SBK-LASIK eye surgery, cataract surgery and premium lens replacement. It is home to the Hunter Vision Analysis, a comprehensive, tech-advanced eye exam unlike any other. To learn more, visit www.huntervision.com.
INTERVIEWS WITH DR. HUNTER: Robert Andrescik 407-923-4440 rob@mediablanket.com

My blog I was gonna write...

I bought Daffney for Lisa on Easter in 1998. Daffney came from a pomeranian breeder in Cincinnati, OH, where Lisa and I lived at that time. I put her in an Easter basket for Lisa. It was our first Easter as a married couple. Daffney has walked through life with us at every stage of our married life. She has seen the good days, bad days, and recently...the toughest days we faced as a family. She has been one of the few constants in an ever changing 13 years of life together.

In May of this year Daffney got very sick. Her kidneys were shutting down and the vet told us that we were going to need to put her down so that she wouldn't suffer. I brought her home from the vet and told Lisa what we needed to do. She said, "just give me a chance to help her get better...if she doesn't we know what we need to do." I agreed and watched as my wife nursed her back to health.

As you know, the next couple months were more than we were ready for or could have ever prepared to journey. Daffney was healthy through it all. She spent more time with Ava while she was sick than she ever had when Ava was well. She would sleep in her room and lay by her side through her entire walk through GBM. Ava loves that dog.

On Sunday, Daffney went to be with Ava. It was strangely comforting. There were no great tears of sadness from me. I knew that our girl had her dog. It sounds goofy, but it is real. I have the greatest picture of Ava hanging with her friend and loving every minute of it. I have no proof that dogs go to heaven, but I believe she is there. Psalm 36:6 says: "Your righteousness is like the mountains of God; your judgments are like the great deep; man and beast you save, O LORD." I think Daffney is with Ava. I slept better Sunday night than I had in a while.

I know that we have a long line of family in heaven waiting for us that care for Ava and were no doubt waiting with open arms to greet her. But, I never got to know them before Ava left us here on earth. I know Daffney and I know Ava with Daffney. I can picture what that reunion was like. My picture in my head is as sweet as can be.

Sure, I'll miss some things about Daffney, but not near as much as I rejoice in the reunion that took place on Sunday night. It was an incredible night for me.

As silly as it may sound, my girl has her dog and my dog has the one who loved her all the time. I am nothing but grateful. Daffney was a great dog for our family. She knew she needed to be here for Ava. Now, she has completed the journey and will be with her forever.

I don't know that "all dogs go to heaven", but I sure love the picture of Daffney being there.

A cool picture for sure.

I had a blog for tonight...

But, it will have to wait for tomorrow. Remind me. It's about Ava and Daffney.

Tonight I read an update from a family whose story I learned of last week. Their situation is too close to ours for me not to be taken by it. I don't pretend to understand the master plan, but I choose to give it all to the Master. This story of little Ezra and the battle this family is walking through right now is so nonsensical to me...but, somehow God will use it for good. What I pray is that Ezra's mom and dad will get a glimpse of what that good is. The burden they carry is huge.

Ezra is not doing well tonight...read this blog and pray for him and his family. He needs it. He is being treated by the same team that was responsible for Ava. Lisa and I grew to love them like family. Pray that the team of docs and nurses will know how to help and comfort as well. It's a rough go for this family and my heart breaks for them. I don't even know them...but, now I know how a lot of you felt as we walked through it with sweet Ava. Join me in praying for them too.

Here is the story from today:

Do me a favor and leave them a comment on his blog to let them know you are praying. I know what it feels like to be lifted up in prayer when you can't pick yourself up off the floor. It means more than you could ever know.

http://thematthewsstory.com/2010/10/18/slippery-slope/

Sunday again.

Yep. It's Sunday again. So far, so good. I enjoyed church this morning. Isaac's sermon was dag'gum awesome. He said one thing that really stuck in my head. It really helps when your younger brothers are wiser than you are. I learned early on that I could learn a lot from them. They are both freaky smart.

Isaac said in his sermon today, "Take the mourning of your loss, and the energy you put into making tears, and channel it toward something productive." The analogy was actually in reference to Lincoln's soccer game and how mad he gets when someone steals the ball from him, but it's the 3 year old's version of what we are walking through :) It was perfectly what I needed to hear from God this morning. I am at the point where those tears will better be served by directing them toward things for others. I know Ava would want that. One thing she does not like is when we are sad! So, while it doesn't eliminate the sadness, it may be a great way for me to help others while we walk through it. It's such a better way to spend energy.

I'll be working on that one for a while, but at least I have a new goal. When I don't have much to shoot for I struggle to do anything. Now, I got something.

Thanks, Isaac...and God, of course.

Here's to a good week of redirecting my tears toward Christ's purposes for my life and the life of those around me.

Blog Friends

I meet you everyday. Someone who followed the story of Ava walks into my life every single day. It's incredible. I love it. I don't have to say anything...you just know what's up. You know how I'm doing...and ask about things that matter. What a gift God gave me in you all. The support we have is what I hope for everyone who goes through a tragedy. I know it's rare. I wish it wasn't. Thanks. To all of you.

Comfort

I exchanged a few emails today with a man I haven't ever met. It doesn't matter that we never met. He lost his daughter in December of '08. His daughter was fairly newly married at the time she left this earth. I remember my Uncle Mark blogging about this man and the sudden, untimely loss of his daughter. I remember thinking, "oh man, that would be horrible." I remember praying for him, his family, and her husband. This man is a brother of mine, now.

He told me that he knew his girl knew mine now. I know he is right. It's actually really comforting to me to think about how many awesome people Ava has with her that care for her and love her. Rachel is someone that I can't wait to meet someday. I picture her and Ava hanging out and Rachel watching out for her...you know, showing her the ropes :)

While the pain is real, so is the joy. I am happy that the only hell Ava will know was for 5 years and it really wasn't all that bad for her. She had a family that loved her and cared for her and she never had to know lonely. It truly is a gift that she got there quicker than the rest of us. I love knowing that she is with friends. I just look forward to the day I can be there too.

I'll sleep tonight feeling good about it all. Such is the daily up and down, but we are hanging in there...

Thanks Gene, I needed that today.

Must have needed some sleep.

Today was much better. I didn't miss Ava any less, but I just was able to handle it much differently than yesterday. I got to hunt this morning, so I spent a lot of time with her...and since I don't see any game animals when I hunt...well, I get to talk to Ava a lot.

Hunter Vision keeps rolling along and all things are going well. We continue to be blessed by God bringing just enough patients to take care of what we need. We just keep trying to be faithful to do what He asks of us and treat people like He wants us to. I know that will get us to where He wants us to be in the long run...so that's the plan we are sticking to. It's great to have a partner like Joel Hunter, MD. He's carried me for a while...it's time I start locking in again. I am almost there. I can feel it.

Lisa and Noah are hanging in there. Thanks so much for your prayers, they matter.

Another Sunday.

10.10.10.

No way around it. I am missing Ava today like crazy. I've darn near cried all day. Not sure what it is about today. I have been pretty good all week. I see her everywhere today. She was with us at church, in Whole Foods (as is our family, after church custom), playing outside, and even hiding in the closet trying on all of Lisa's shoes while I get cleaned up. I can't get it out of my head. Not that I want to, but for whatever reason, today is exceptional.

I miss her more than I ever thought possible. I talk to her all the time. I can't wait to see her again. I just don't like being without her. It's hard to remember on days like today that this life is short compared to eternity. I mostly just wonder what exactly she is up to. I look so forward to the day that I find out.

Keep praying for us. This road is bumpy and sucky. We're working on figuring out how to navigate it. We just really wish we weren't on it. So glad Ava doesn't have to be...

Huntin' tomorrow.

My friend Roy (who I haven't yet met in person) is takin' me huntin'.

I may get a hog. I may get a deer. I may get nothin'.

Doan much matter...I'm headed to the woods. Just me, Ava and God.

I'll report back tomorrow. :)

Good for what ail's ya.

Sometimes I think the best thing you can do in a day is go to Bass Pro Shops. Everything that is good and right about America is in that place. It's all about how you can do more stuff outdoors. So am I. Therefore, Basspro and I get along just fine.

I had to get Noah some camo for the upcoming trip. All his hunting gear is for warm weather...had to get something so the poor guy wouldn't freeze. It was a great "man trip". We sampled beef jerky and looked at guns, knives, bows, camo, truck accessories and awesome, America t-shirts.

I don't know that more fun can be packed into one hour.

Tomorrow, it's date night. I am looking very forward to some time with my lady.

This week is shaping up just fine for old Josh...Basspro and Noah Thursday, Lisa Friday.

Solid. I hope Lisa likes the camo hat I bought her. :)

Today was perty good.

Solid day. Worked, hung with Lisa and Noah. Just good. I am spending a lot of time trying to get Hunter Vision off the ground and it's good for me. It keeps me focused. Hunter Vision is doing well and we are helping lots of people see better...it's what we do. We have room to grow, but I can't complain. God has blessed our business.

I am going on a little mini-hunting trip with Noah in a few weeks and I am fired up about it. 2 days in the woods in Georgia with the little man and with Ava. Maybe we'll even get a deer??? Doesn't matter. Hunting is not about getting something, it's about hanging out in nature and enjoying time with God. That's where I meet God. The closer I am to Him, the closer I am to Ava. So, I can't wait.

All is well tonight. Just Lis and I hanging out watching TV. It's good.

Did I mention that Dwight hit jumpers last night?

Still Hangin'

We talk about Ava everyday. I still cry about her not being here at least once per day. I am crying only for me, because she is in perfection...but I still miss the heck out of her. Lisa and I daily talk about how bad we miss her and what a gift she is to our family.

Life is so incredibly different without her around. Quite frankly, I don't much care for it right now. Now, don't go thinking I am saying something crazy. I just don't enjoy each day like I did when she was here. I am learning to want to, but good grief it's not easy.

I don't write this stuff for sympathy or for some plea to be picked up by nice comments... I write it in hopes that someone, somewhere else who is struggling will read these words and know that someone else is still having rough time a month after losing a part of their world. Most people don't feel the freedom to tell the world how they feel. I do, because I want people to remember Ava and the impact she had on the world. This blog unintentionally gave her a voice that she didn't have on her own and I don't want it to go away. I want her life to continue to touch people where they are...lots of them in the midst of trial and pain.

Not every minute is a trial or filled with pain...but everyday still is.

Thanks to whoever wrote last night that everyday lived is another one closer to her...that made my day great. I was productive today like I hadn't been in months because I know that when I am working hard, time flies.

I'm kinda all over the map tonight...but, that happens every time I watch a Magic game.

Ava watched them with me (until she had to go to bed)...now she can stay up until they are over :)

Dwight learned a jump shot. I bet even Ava can't believe that.

Some Ava Quotes:

I went through all of my facebook status updates involving Ava over the last 2 years. A sweet glimpse of the little lady.

Ava on straight teeth: "When 'pop' (my dad) was little, did he wear wooden braces?"
March 8 at 10:41pm

Josh Hunter Me: Ava, you've lost your mind. Ava: Dad, seriously, don't ever say that to a woman. ??????????????????


Should I be concerned that Lisa and Ava are getting their funk on in the living room while blasting "Apple Bottom Jeans" loud enough that our entire block can hear it?
August 31, 2009 at 7:23pm


Giving 4 year old Ava a bath. She says she needs to get out or she is going to miss her press conference. When I asked her what that meant, she said "it means lemons".
August 29, 2009 at 7:32pm


Ava: "If you skin your knee, you can pray to God and He will heal it...or you can just put on a band-aid."
February 4, 2009 at 8:24pm

Ava: Dad, Why do they call it poop? Me: I don't know, we should google it. Ava: Why do they call it google?
January 27, 2009 at 6:48am

Ava: (while holding my energy gel pack) Does this gel go in your hair or your armpits? Me: Not armpits.
January 20, 2009 at 6:56am

Ava: If we sing a friendship song, sharks won't bite us...right? Me: That's correct...
January 16, 2009 at 8:05pm

just heard Ava say..."Hey Noah, Kiss my butt." Laughing too much to do anything about it...
November 22, 2008

Josh Hunter is trying to explain to Ava that it is too cold to wear a "weenatard" (leotard)
October 31, 2008 at 8:07am

Josh Hunter is giving Ava a bath. Actually I am listening to her talk to the washcloth because she knows it doesn't like being wet
October 29, 2008 at 7:05pm


***Bonus status update:
Noah just told Lisa..."Mom, I wouldn't trade you for the hottest mom in the world"...time to teach him how to dig out of a hole...

Sundays.

It's been a decent Sunday. Sundays are weird. Just the 3 of us going to church feels bizarre still. While we were in the hospital, Noah transitioned from 5th grade to middle school at church. That means that he now goes to the service with us. SO, now we all go together, sit together and then leave. We don't go to the kids area to pick anyone up. I have to admit, I don't like that at all. Sundays are still the hardest day. Ava's earthly absence is so much more pronounced on a day when we all hang out together. People at church are amazing and care for us very well, but we just miss Ava. None of us want her back because that would require her to leave perfection, but we all want her back (know what I mean?). It's selfish and I know it, but it just flat out sucks.

It's been a month. Today it feels like years. I'd still give up anything to be able to be with her and I know one day I will. It's the waiting that I hate. I hate it for me and I hate it for Lisa. However, if the choice is us taking the pain of her gone vs. her taking the pain of living here with that stupid tumor that hurt her...then the choice is easy.

Ava is good. So, I should be good. But, Sundays are harder than regular days. I look forward to the day that they are easier. Not sure when or if that will come, but I hope it does.

Maybe next Sunday will be easier???

Good day today.

All is well. I worked and cleaned my car. Productive and got to spend some time just thinkin'. Nothing big to report. That to me is the sign of a real good day right now :)

Middle School Football

Talk about awesome. There is nothing like middle school football. It pits a 75 pound 6th grader against a 275 pound 8th grader. It's likely the only legal sport in the world that endorses such ridiculousness. But, it sure is fun to watch. There are kids who wouldn't hit someone if you paid them and then there are kids who do nothing but hit people all day, so why would they stop for a football game?

Noah played tonight. It was really fun. Tonight was a battle of the defeateds. It was 2 teams with records of 0-4 battling to the finish. We won. Our team is likely the first team in history to win only the last game of the season and soak the coach with the gatorade bath. That was hilarious.

So we finish 1-4 with a coach that needs a shower.

It was a great character building season for Noah...seems like those are coming in droves for my little man right now. But, the lessons are clear. It rarely goes exactly as you want, so you better learn to push through to get where you need to be.

Middle School football taught me that.

Prayer request.

Lisa, Noah and I are hanging in there fine and we are daily good, bad, and everything in between. So, you can always pray for us, but for this next stretch of time I have another request.

A few weeks ago I had the privilege of meeting Don and Donna Cheney at Hunter Vision. They have gone to Northland for a while and came to see us and go through the Hunter Vision experience. In just a few short minutes I grew to love them. Donna sat in the lobby and talked with me about the struggles of losing her father and we shared stories. Don sat and talked with me while Donna was with Dr. Hunter and I loved it. That man is comfortable talking to anyone! It was a blessing to me that day.

Just today I got a message from Donna. She asked if I would pray for Don. Don was diagnosed this week with ALS and has been given a prognosis of 18 months. They are still trying to digest the news, but I wanted to get this news to every prayer warrior I know and have them start praying. They face a tough battle ahead, but our God is big and He absolutely can beat any disease. I want to be the one asking for prayer for someone else for a while. They need it. Ava is good now and I told you last night that you showed me...it matters that we take our time and give it to those who are hurting. So, here we go. Please join with me and pray for Don. Pray that this disease will just be gone immediately, pray that God will be glorified, and pray for Donna that she have the strength to walk this road by his side.

Thanks friends. As I said, It matters. Time to lock and and pray for my friends. Who's with me?

Another card delivery...

My mom and pop delivered another bunch of cards today. People (you people) have been amazing to us as we have walked through these last few weeks. We have received thousands of cards and notes and have read every one of them.

What I learned is that it matters. It matters to take two minutes of your life and let someone know you are praying for them when they are grieving. I can't tell you how much encouragement Lisa and I get from all of your notes and support. It has truly been a gift to us.

I will forever forward remember what it's like to be in this position and how much it matters to people when you tell them you care. It's easy to think that someone else will do it or that it won't matter. It does.

God put us here for relationship. No time in my life has it been clearer. We know the joy of having it and the pain of losing it. Blessed are those who mourn because they have truly loved.

We are blessed.

Why Hunter Vision?

Joel Hunter, MD's eye surgery career is years old. Hunter Vision is two months old. I love it. I love going to work everyday and the people on our team are as awesome as you could find anywhere.

I get asked often, "What is it that you all provide that the others don't?" Fortunately, that is a really easy question to answer. It breaks down into 4 major things:

1. The Hunter Vision Analysis. When we test your eyes, we do it like no one else. The exam is 90 minutes long and we look at every single thing in your eyes, not just the minimum required to have vision correction. We care about your full eye health. It's why Dr. Hunter sits with each patient and takes them on a guided tour of their eyes. All the testing we do is not covered by insurance, so other places shy away from it. We didn't want insurance dictating what was best for our patients. Furthermore, it takes time (which hurts volume for surgeons) so most aren't willing to do it. Not us. We do it because it's best. No one else can say they do the testing we do for every single vision correction patient. It's truly amazing. It's a free exam for our patients who are pursuing vision correction procedures.

2. Dr. Hunter gives you his personal cell phone number on surgery day. Where else can you call the doctor and actually get him at 1:00 in the morning if you are wondering if what you are feeling is normal?

3. Time. You get it from Dr. Hunter at every visit. You are never passed off to another doc. If you have issues that are not related to what we do we will certainly refer you to another qualified doc in town, but if we can handle it...Dr. Hunter does it.

4. 15% of all dollars made by Hunter Vision will go to missions and charity organizations. Our hope is that this will be more significant each year.

I think that's enough, but there are many other things that differentiate Hunter Vision from your everyday regular LASIK and Cataract surgery joint.

You should come and see us. We are nice and I am confident we will get better results than anywhere else you could go because a) Dr. Hunter is a great surgeon, and b) our technology is the latest you'll find anywhere in the USA.

That is today's infomercial. If you live in Central Florida, tell your friends. We are trying to let people know there is a better option for their vision. It's Hunter Vision.

Commercial Ended.

I can't not talk about Hunter Vision. It's absolutely the culmination of years of dreaming and planning with my brother Joel. We are open and helping people every single day. Find someone who has visited and ask them what they thought.

It's been a good day. I am just excited tonight for what God is doing through this clinic. It's fun to be a part of it. I'm grateful that Ava got to see it launch. It's as much for her now as it ever was. I realize that could sound contrived, but I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

Cleaned a little bit in the house today.

How's that for a stirring title? If you've made it this far without clicking off the page to go check the scores from today (or more likely flipped to the lifetime channel and shut your laptop given my demographic of likely readers) then you are truly dedicated to reading this post. For that, I applaud you.

I spent a good bit of time just cleaning stuff today. I learned a few things. The first is that I have about 100 socks that do not have a mate. The second is that every bit of our home is a reminder of Ava's life. I was in and out of tears and laughs most of the day today. It's been 3 weeks and it feels like it was yesterday or like it was 100 years ago. It depends on the minute of the day.

I just plain miss Ava. Life is moving on and things are getting more "normal", but I don't much care for the new normal yet. It's just feels like we are missing a piece. It feel like we are in a car that lost a tire. The car moves forward, but you can't control where it's going too well and it leaves a heck of a scar on the road as it travels.

I am working on it. So are Lisa and Noah. We talk about her all the time.

Thanks for your continued prayers. We know we are blessed. Just pray we'll walk through this valley well and faithfully. Ava's life will be remembered by the faithful legacy we live and leave. That's a big weight to carry, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

That's what you can learn by cleaning the house. Now you have a reason to tell your spouse that it's too hard and you'd rather watch football or Twilight (whichever example better fits your fancy).

G'night all.

All day.

I hunted with Noah and Ava this morning. We saw squirrels and turkey this morning...which was not what we were hunting. The full moon screwed it all up, but I don't care. It was awesome just being out with my family. One day Lisa will join us...right honey?

OK. Tonight we hung out with some friends. They are friends of Lisa from RDV, but they are quickly becoming my friends too. One of the couples has a 2 year old daughter named Stella. She is just like Ava. All night I saw Ava running around and running the show. She is every bit the spunk that Ava is. It was so wonderful.

Our friends treated us like family tonight. Many thanks to our new friends. The Walls', Ralls' and Taylor's are amazing people. I loved spending time with new friends who care about our family. It was truly a blessing to Lisa and I.

I am off to bed. I've been up since 3:30.

A few minutes with Noah tomorrow.

I'll be in a treestand with my boy tomorrow morning. We are gonna head out together in search of a monster Florida buck...which is like saying, a huge chihuahua. But, regardless of the size of deer we see it will be blessed time. My boy is growing up into a young man and is going through a life defining moment. God will use this time to make him who He wants him to be. I want to be there with him while it's happening.

Noah is a good man. We are going to have a great time. We probably won't shoot any deer, but we will have fun just being together. And we will be together where I meet Ava and God. I can't think of anything better...well, unless Lisa would come...but, hey a guy can only ask for so much :)

Tonight

I met with my friend. He lost his daughter exactly one day before Ava was taken to the hospital the first time. It was amazing. We laughed together and shared stories about what the days were like before our daughters went to be with Jesus.

It was awesome. I spent time with a man in my shoes tonight. What a gift. Thank you God for Tim.

That's all...just thankful.

decent.

Today was pretty good. No real eventful happenings, but I actually got some work done at Hunter Vision. That's been tough to get groovin' for about 3 months. I have been working in short spurts of concentrated energy. Today I actually had some longer spurts. That's a good sign for me. I still think about Ava at least every 15 minutes, but for some reason today it didn't distract me completely every time. I may be progressing or I may just have had a decent day only to regress again tomorrow. Only time will tell.

I started writing in this blog to keep my family and close friends aware of what was happening so they would know how to pray. Little did I know that thousands would come to know our little girl and pray for her. I am so thankful for all of you. What a blessing you have been through this whole time. We have needed every single prayer and continue to.

We miss Ava like nothing else we have ever felt...but we know it's only us. She is better than awesome right now. Thanks for continuing to pray as we walk through these days not knowing how we will handle them. Each one brings it's own challenge and reward.

I get to meet with an old friend of mine tomorrow night. He lost his daughter in June. I can't wait. I look so forward to hearing how he is doing and dealing with it. He's ahead of me.

God knows what I need.

Wonderin'

Spent a lot of today wonderin'. I wonder what Ava is doing. I wonder what it will feel like to not miss her so bad. I wonder if I even want to not miss her so bad. I wonder how in the world this was what God wanted to use. I wonder why anyone has to lose family.

Lots of my wondering doesn't even make sense to me...so I am sure it doesn't make sense to anyone else. I've been in a bit of a funk today. I comes in waves. I am fine one minute and then an hour later, just plain sad. I really am looking forward to days where the sadness isn't so sad, but more the fond memory that people talk about that eventually comes. I am not there yet.

I found out that some of my deer huntin buddies in Ohio are going through some brain cancer issues right now, too. It's amazing how close to home that hits. When I hear those words I see Ava's face. I remember the moment we found out. I really wish it was all not real. I really do hate cancer. I think it should be illegal.

Ok, I'm done. It wasn't a great day. But, tomorrow is bound to be better. I am gonna go pray for a while. Close to God is close to Ava since she is with Him....

Hunted again.

Yep. I hunted again this early morning. I try to hunt as much as I can when the season rolls around. This season even more. I hunt because that is where I meet God. And where I meet God...there I meet Ava, since she is with him. I didn't actually see anything today that would be worth bringing home, but I did talk to Ava. It was awesome. I love the deer woods. More so now than ever. I talked with Ava this morning. It was awesome.

A peek into my family...

Here is the email I got from my mom tonight. I picked this one because it is NOT special. It is like every email she sends. Some of you wonder how we make it through what we are going through...here is part of it. We have a trust in God that is unwavering, but we have a family all around that holds us up. My hope in showing you this is not that you will think "Oh, isn't that nice that he has a nice mom?"...it is the hope that it will inspire you to be this for your kids as they grow up. That's what these regular interactions with my mother do for me...they inspire me to be better...

Hi Josh! Hi Lisa!
Just wanted to say that there were about a zillion people today at Northland who came up to Pop and/or me and went on and on about how Ava changed their lives, their friends lives and the lives of people who know people who know people who’s lives she impacted (the chains of some of the relationships people were trying to explain was four or five people long!) Seriously, Ava is having incredible influence on so many people it is hard to fathom it all!
Just one example: This lady who goes to Northland and works in a live-in rehab center said this one lady there has severe MS and her son has been mad at God for 20 years (he’s 38 now). This Northland woman always puts on the Northland service for the MS lady when she goes over to help there and mid = week this week when she was over there she put on Ava’s memorial service because the lady wanted to “watch Northland.” Well, as it was starting, her 38 year old son came in and was going to turn it off and his mom said “no, leave it.” So he did but wasn’t too happy about being there to visit and her watching the service. Anyway, the Northland lady said that when Ava came on and sang the opening to that first worship song, he stared and the screen and hardly blinked for the rest of the service. At the end he was teary and said “Maybe God really is up there somewhere.” He wrote down Northland’s site address and told the Northland helper lady he was going to tune into worship this weekend! And he did!! He left a message with the online pastor that he was going to show up next weekend and that he hadn’t been in church since he was in high school! How amazing is that?!!
And there was story after story like that. People watching the service at their desks in offices and co-workers who aren’t believers and who don’t know any of us and never met Ava watching the service from beginning to end and carrying on conversations about faith throughout the past week because of what they saw and heard; One lady told me she was in her car to come to the memorial service and the car wouldn’t start so she went in her house, called a towing company, and starting watching the service online. When the tow truck driver arrived he got everything all hooked up and she walked outside with her laptop, told him what she was watching and that it would be over soon so she would just meet him at the garage. She said he looked at the screen and ended up standing there with her in her driveway watching the last fifteen minutes of the service and then asking her about her church!
It’s all just so incredible! Ava is blessing the world every day, even now. I am so grateful to God for her; for you; for Noah. What a witness—what a team. I love you guys soooo much.
I hope you rest well tonight and that tomorrow will be filled up with blessings.
With much gratitude and great respect,
Mom

LBD.

I watch a lot of hunting shows. One of my favorites (that the kids love as well) often uses the slogan "BBD". BBD stands for "Big Buck Down". Well, I got the buck and down part done today...however, big is not a word you would use to describe it. It was just a li'l 6pt, but it was a trophy to me. It was my first deer with this bow, it was my first deer hunt with my girl, and it was opening day of the season...can't ask for more.

I spent most of the day in a tree just talking to God and Ava. I also spent a good portion of the day just watching nature do its thing. Turkeys were fighting sand hill cranes, squirrels were yelling at each other over acorns, and little blue birds were yelling at me because they didn't want me in their tree. It was awesome. I needed it so much.

I have an awesome wife that doesn't get mad if I need a day or two in the woods. She takes care of everything so I can get that time. She's not a big hunter, but she understands that I need it...she is awesome.

I had a wonderful day with God, Ava and the harvest of an incredible animal that will feed our family.

I told you this blog was down home. I am a country boy who is stuck in the city. Days like today remind me of just that :)

Goin deer huntin.

I'll blog tomorrow. Hopefully with a picture of a majestic buck. I'll be with Ava.

Deer Hunts

It's about that time. Saturday marks opening day of bow season in Central Florida. You know where I'll be. I'll be chasing the illusive whitetail deer from Saturday until sometime in December when I call it quits.

Hunting is all things awesome wrapped into one. It is time in the woods just watching God's creation come alive with the rising of the sun and watching it go still as it sets. It is incredible color and sound. It is time with man family (son, brothers, uncles, cousins). It is a celebration of the harvest no matter who brings it home. It is time alone that restores my soul in its deepest places. It's time with God. And this year, for the first time, it will be time with Ava.

I can't wait to get 15 ft up in a tree and be with her. There will be a time this season when Noah will go with me and I will be with both of my kids. I look forward to it very much.

I rarely get anything, but a successful hunt is one where everyone comes home after being a part of nature instead of viewing it from afar. I will spend more time this year in a tree because I need it and I want some extra time with God and Ava.

I can't wait. I may not even take my bow, nah...that's crazy talk.

Pretty good day, actually

I've been back at work all week and it has been great. Which reminds me...

If you wear glasses or contacts for distance or reading...you should get rid of them by coming to see us at Hunter Vision.

Hunter Vision is a place that has given me rest and focus this week. The people that work on our staff have carried me through the last 2 1/2 months during our unique journey. They have done things that are no where in their job description and loved my family well through the most difficult of days. It's an amazing gift to be able to work with "family". I am so thankful for them. This week has allowed me to focus on giving instead of needing and that is a welcome relief. Focusing back on the way we take care of patients and how we can continue to make each interaction better as we grow the practice is a true blessing right now.

Lisa, Noah and I are still fighting through each day as we learn how to live without Ava here, but each day is getting slightly better as we can more celebrate her gain rather than mourn our loss. My hope is that continues with each passing day.

I am blessed tonight to have a great team at Hunter Vision and a wonderful family all around me. Ava knows that now, and she knew it a month ago. She is blessed by it too.

I wanna be like Noah.

Noah is 12. He just lost his sister 10 days ago. I watch him in amazement. He looks at this whole thing like, "Why is everyone sad? If you are concerned for Ava, you are crazy...if you are just feeling sorry for yourself then that's stupid...you are supposed to care about others more than you care about yourself." I am trying to get there. The simple, convincing faith of a 12 year old young man is inspiring to me. Sure, Noah misses his sister. He loves his sister. He also believes in a God that is bigger than his understanding and he absolutely trusts without question that God has the best plan and that Ava is happier than ever. So, he is comforted and completely happy!

I am working on it. Deer hunting helps. I am going to go watch some hunting shows and think about how to be more like Noah.

Like I said.

This blog is about to get down home.

I hunt. I do it unapologetically. Every year around this time I begin to grow my beard. I grow it from opening day of deer season until I get back from my Ohio hunt with my brothers. Ava loves my beard and loves that I bring home meat for our family to eat. We eat everything I shoot, so nothing is wasted. I love to hunt. It's what I am. I am a Hunter :)

This year, just like every year before it for the last 10, I will head to Ohio and hunt the great whitetail deer. Some of you will not like this part of me and I am ok with that...you can just quit reading for a while. If you make an anti-hunting comment, it will promptly be deleted. However, its not you that I am deleting, its your anti-hunting comment...so don't feel bad.

I absolutely love sitting in a tree and being a part of God's creation. It is where I feel closest to God. This year, I will be close to Ava too since she is close to God. I read a comment from one of you who lost a child a while back and it said "I just try to stay close to Jesus because I know my boy is right there with Him"... I loved that. That is what I will be doing while I am in His creation.

This year, Ava will be with me in my tree stand. She will be talking to me and I will be talking to her. She loved this time of year and asked me every time I called home, "did you get one yet, daddy?" The answer was usually, "no", but I loved to hear that question. This year she will know as soon as it happens.

I miss Ava, but we are good today. I can't wait to take her on her first deer hunt with me. It's been a long time coming.

Oh, and I got a new bow for this season, Ava. You are gonna like it...

Not bad.

Today was pretty dang good. We decided to hang back and worship online with Northland for one more week instead of make the trek to Summit for our normal worship service. It seemed like it may be too much to handle coming right off of the service this week and all.

So, we did what everyone does who doesn't go to church on Sunday morning. We went out for brunch. It was just Lisa, Noah and me. It was really strange not having Ava there, but we talked about her a lot and really enjoyed the time together this morning. Somewhere in the last two days I went from "supremely sad" to "just miss her, really bad". The difference in those two is the ability to think about her with a smile on my face instead of tears in my eyes.

We had a fairly normal day. I mowed the yard with Noah (perfectly normal), shot my bow in prep for deer season (perfectly awesome), and hugged on Lisa (perfectly perfect).

About that bow shooting...
I can't wait to get in a treestand. I still talk with Ava everyday and don't think that will ever stop. I hear her voice all the time. It's the first season I can trust her not to fidget...so I'm letting her go with me. Deer season is upon us. This is the point in the year where all of my PETA friends can quit reading for about 3 months...I'm gonna talk a lot about hunting and God. Ava loves both.

This blog is about to get real, down home, American.

My thoughts on Headaches.

I hate them. I have had them since I was in high school. I hated them then and I really hate them now. I have special sympathy for people who get headaches. They can be debilitating. Migraines are not my friend.

Watching Ava take on the headaches and beat them down hit home for me tonight. I ended today with a headache like I never had before. It was the absolute worst headache in my entire head hurting career (which is long and storied). I was minutes from heading to the hospital (In all the years of migraines I have never even thought about going to the hospital) to get something to make it stop before I began to feel it let up ever so slightly. So, I waited it out and am ok now. But, I couldn't stop thinking about Ava as I vomited from the pain and walked around the house with my eyes closed to keep all light out and not sit still. I just kept thinking..."how in the heck did she do this?" My respect and admiration grew with each passing minute. Ava is a special kid with a unique capacity to bear pain. Her tolerance is so high that Lisa and I really don't know the degree of her pain, ever.

What I know now is that she will never have a headache again. After tonight, I took more comfort in that fact than I ever had prior to this point.

In a weird way, I am thankful that I had that headache tonight. It gave me a glimpse into the gift she has now. As we say around here...no pain, no gain...monfrain (Ava added that part and I have no idea what it means)

We've had a good day. We missed her being here, but were able to talk more than cry today. That's a first since Saturday.

You can watch it if you missed it.

Ava's memorial service. What a gift.

Click Here

Ava Memorial Service

If you can't be there you can be a part of it online...www.northlandchurch.net

It will stream live at 11:00am EST and available to watch later as well.

Just wanted to make sure you could see it if you wanted to.

Now, make sure you read today's real blog below this and send me a story about how Ava touched your life.

-love to you all

A favor.

As I thought about ways that I could remember Ava best, I wondered if you all would help me. If you could leave a comment on this blog about the way Ava changed your life or what you remember most about her, I would be forever grateful. Don't feel any pressure to comment if you don't have something, I just thought for those who she touched it would be a great picture for us to have of our little warrior.

Most of you have asked what you can do for us... this would be a great way to serve Lisa, Noah and me. I plan to print them all out and make a little "book of lives touched" by Ava Hunter.

So, will you help?

Oh, and leave your first and last name if you would...just for me :)

still.

As in, I can't sit. As in, I can't believe it. As in, I love her. As in, I want to hold her.

I have spent the better part of two days with a physical pain response from an emotional loss. I go from laughing to crying from minute to minute and hour to hour. I went from caring so deeply for Ava's well being to only being able to see how badly I hurt without her in a matter of seconds this last weekend.

It's weird. I always looked at those who were grieving by looking at pictures and videos and holding things from their loved ones as people who may do better to try to move past the pain instead of relish it. No longer. I get it now. Everything in me wants to see one more video, one more photo, one more thing she wore or wrote. I don't care about the pain and tears as much as I do etching every single memory that I have with her into my brain for good. I spend the better part of each hour trying to parse through the details of conversations we had, jokes she told, and rituals that I had only with her. I don't ever want those to leave me. I want to remember them all, all the time.

Lisa, Noah and I are walking together through these days with the newness of this life without Ava just under the surface at all times. Every normal thing is not normal because she is not with us. It will take a long, long time to unwind from the daily routine that defined our family. I'm not even sure I want to. I want everything to be the way it was...still.

As in, I trust God.

A gift.

The last 48 hours are a blur. We're home now, but without a piece of our family and a big piece of our heart. Our Ava went to be with Jesus. 10 weeks to the day of her diagnosis of GBM she was taken from here to heaven.

We were given something that most families don't have when they lose a loved one. Time. We spent the last 10 weeks with renewed intentionality and focus that gave Ava every bit of the picture we wanted her to have. We loved on her, played with her, took extra time with her and cared for her in a way that let us see her go, knowing that she knew how special God made her. The gift He gave us for 5 years is one that will never be taken away. With the end of her earthly life came the realization that I would do it all over again for those 5 years even if I knew the outcome.

Our Ava touched more lives for Jesus than most will. Her short time here was a gift. A gift to Lisa and me, her brother, and everyone who knew her or read about her through my written words. She was truly God's child while here and is truly God's child as she watches me write this through the tears only a father could shed. She marked me. She changed my heart. She made me more the man Jesus created me to be. I am thankful for her and to her.

I love Ava more than I can say. She was a gift, but she was not mine. She was God's while she was here and she is God's now. Her short life on earth is one I will carry with me until I see her again. I miss her so much already. The pain may fade, but her impact will only grow with time. I don't understand why, but I do understand God is bigger than I am and He knows.

Lisa and I are heartbroken and hurting, but we live with the absolute peace that she is in perfect peace. I wanted you all to hear it from me.

I love her and I always will. My girl is loving life with all of us in heaven.

Pray for us in the days ahead. Let that be your gift to us.

Takin' a break...

I am taking a public blog break for a bit. All is fine today and we appreciate your prayers. Keep praying for us as we navigate the days ahead. So thankful that all of you are with us on this journey. I'll post more stuff at a later date when we know more. Thank you for praying for us!

We are home.

Back from the PICU as of about 4. It's great to be home, but weird too. This is the first time they have sent us home and said, "medically there is nothing else we can do." So, we are home with Ava. She is not feeling bad. Just sleepy on and off. She nods a lot and gives thumbs up for approval. She is not concerned right now as far as I can tell.

It's nuts. 10 weeks ago Ava was running around playing with her cousins. Right now, she is 3 brain surgeries in and has been given very little time left by the medical professionals. It's very clear to us that we need miraculous healing. We've needed it all along. The biggest difference is I thought this part would come in 18 months, not 2. We are wrestling through it as any parent would. We wonder what in the world God is doing. We wonder what in the world we could have done different. We wonder what in the world. All we know is that God is big and mighty. There is nothing He cannot do. The tough part of that is there are some things He won't do this side of heaven. We just keep praying that healing Ava is not one of them.

Our family is around us all the time and has been wonderful through this confusing and eternally quick time. We have some of the therapy items that we were headed to New Jersey for in route already. Her therapy at home starts tomorrow. We hope to get her well enough to travel, but right now we really aren't close.

Keep praying for Ava. Keep praying for us. I am not ashamed to ask...we need your prayers.

Early blog.

It's before midnight. An early blog as I sit in PICU and watch over Ava as she rests. Lisa is out for a minute getting a much needed couple minutes out of the room after being with Ava constantly today. We are still looking for ways to get the treatment for Ava that we hope will work, but the docs have painted a very grim picture. We won't lose hope, but would be foolish to pretend things aren't dire. She is not in much pain, so that is good. She has occasional leg cramps, but the shunt surgery yesterday relieved the pressure in her head. She nods yes and no, but is only talking if she wants Lisa or is hurting from the cramps. Usually one word at a time.

We won't give up hope. We don't need anymore of a miracle than we did 8 weeks ago. God is still God. We are praying He wants her here.

We are here for the night and praying for Ava. Please pray for her too.

Again?

Welp, we are back in the old PICU. Feels way too much like home. We know most of the staff by name and are strangely acquainted with the layout of the place. After a couple days of headaches, we decided that maybe we should just check and see if Ava's shunt was functioning properly...well, it wasn't. That meant surgery #3.

The surgery was to reposition the shunt installed in surgery #2 so that the fluid in her brain would flow better. It was an hour long procedure and she did well through it. We are in recovery now and are expecting to go home again tomorrow.

Please pray for wisdom in the days ahead. How we get her to New Jersey is the newest challenge. We have options, we just want to choose what is best for her. We don't know much about the days ahead, but we know God owns them. Pray that we will just stay in the moment and do what is best for Ava.

Another crazy day. I am hoping for some boring ones soon.

Saturday.

Some days you just don't have it. Today, I didn't. Ava is fine, but struggling a bit with crampy legs and not talking much. Just nodding a lot and giving one word answers. I want her to talk. I want her to run around and do stuff...but, she isn't there right now. I am fairly certain it's harder on me than it is her. As long as she isn't hurting, she's pretty content just sleeping and watching goofy cartoons all day.

It is interesting to me that God seems to allow Lisa and I to go back and forth. When I'm up, she may not be. When I'm down, she is up. It's nice to listen to her and be reminded that God is completely in control. You see, I am by nature a controller. Not neurotic, but I like to have plans to back up my plans that back up my plans. Lisa is not. She is intuitive and free flowing. She goes where God leads instead of being dragged around like I have to. I am blessed for sure to have her for my wife.

Here are the specific prayers for today.

Pray that God would heal Ava this side of heaven.
Pray that Ava would not have any more cramps or pains.
Pray that Lisa and I would continue to trust that God has Ava right where He want her.
Pray that Noah would continue to process this better than any 12 year old could.

We covet your prayers and thank you for them. I am also praying for a better day tomorrow.

I am going to sleep soon. Maybe I'm just tired.

A few thoughts tonight:

I have been asked a few questions that come up frequently by those of you who read my blog. I thought I would take a bit of time and answer them so you can know what's up. I appreciate all of the prayer and thought that you all put into our lives and want to give you as much as makes sense so that you know what to pray for. So, here it is...in atypical blog fashion:

Q: Josh, you know it's ok if you don't blog everyday right? I mean isn't it draining to have another thing on your plate?
A: Actually, it's nice that you are concerned for me, and I really mean that, but blogging is mostly for me. It allows me to revisit the things I know as truth and write them down. That's comforting in days of complete uncertainty regarding Ava. It's also the best way I know to get a concise message to so many faithful people who are praying. I love knowing that people read this so they know how to pray. Honestly, I look forward to blogging every single day.

Q: Josh, have you checked into flying Ava up north or flying her doc here?
A: Yes, we have looked at both. The variations in air pressure combined with the inability to get to a hospital quickly from 30,000 feet is enough to convince Lisa and me that a leisurely drive over two days in a very roomy vehicle is the best way for Ava to go. Also, this doc lives in NJ and has all of her gear for treatment there, so flying her here would not only be impractical for her, but it would not allow Ava the same level of treatment.

Q: Josh, have you looked into....?
A: Yes. We have spent two months researching every single thing known to man to fight GBM. This is our absolute best option. You all have helped us in reaching this point and we are forever grateful.

Q: Josh, how do you stay so positive?
A: Go back and read some of my blogs from the end of June. I have many days where I can't hold it together. By the end of the day when it's time for me to process it all, I am reminded that God is the only source of comfort, peace and restoration that we have. It's not hard to recognize when there is nothing standing between you and Him.

Q: Josh, are your mom and dad ok?
A: I know they hurt for us and for Ava. I also know they raised me to know a God who is omniscient. They fall to their knees for Ava every single day and pray there is some way God will heal her this side of heaven. However, their faith cannot be shaken by what they don't understand. A God they can understand is a God that is not big enough to handle what we are going through. Mom and Pops are in it with us and fighting through...they are as fine as they can be, but count on your prayers just like Lisa and I. (this also goes for Lisa's mom, Pats)

Q: Josh, is there anything we can do besides pray?
A: Some of you, yes. If there is I am not hesitant to ask. I am not too proud to ask for help when it will benefit my family. For most of you though, we need your prayers more than anything else you can offer. If you wonder if we need it, you can always ask me. I'll tell you straight up if it will help or not...but don't be offended if it won't.

Q: Josh, did you read that one comment I left on your blog in July?
A: Yes, but I can't recall them all off the top of my head. So please forgive me if I have forgotten which one to attribute to you. We read every one and are encouraged daily by your thoughts. Please keep them coming. We feed off of your encouragement in this daily battle.

Q: Josh, do you have any idea how many people read your blog everyday?
A: Uh huh. There are between 6 and 11 thousand people that read this each day from all corners of the world. Lest you think I would think I am some big deal because of those numbers, you should know that there were 50 a day before Ava got sick. My girl has some for real fans and prayer warriors out there.

Ok, that's all of them for now. There are a few others, but those are the major ones that I get several times per week.

You all are incredible and we are blessed to be a part of your extended family. Thanks for praying. Please don't stop.

A special thank you to all of you who participated in the facebook 24 hour prayer vigil for Ava that ends in 90 minutes. What a gift you gave us today.

Oh, and Ava is doing fine. She just spent the day sleeping and watching movies with her Grandmas.