Staying busy.
Making diapers
Watching cousins.
Creating things.
Acting.
Dancing.
Playing.
Singing.
Reading.
Living.
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Pictures
Gifts of imperfection
One of the joys of my son going to Williamsburg is that they make us buy these wonderful books! I like to pick them up and read them as much as I can.
Currently I am reading a book titled the Gifts of Imperfection. I love it.
The basic concept is that our imperfections are what give us compassion for others, a chance to practice everyday courage and develop connections to other people. I have already experienced the compassion. I am rarely upset when anyone is late, because I know how hard it is to make everything work right to be on time. I understand when others want things their own way, because I do a lot as well. I am still trying to be more compassionate with others when their imperfections are ones I haven't forgiven myself for. That is a bit more tricky. When I am ashamed of myself for not being a better mom and spending more time with Isabelle working with her, I start to get upset with others over it too. I think that I am deflecting my shame and guilt. If I can get to the point that of trying as hard as I can and accepting that as enough, then I think I can be kinder and more understanding of others. This is one of the points she makes. If we don't accept our own imperfections and give ourselves some slack, then we don't get the gifts of being imperfect.
The courage of telling others something that you really are deeply ashamed of and sharing that imperfection with them in a time that they need to hear it so that they can understand they are not alone is huge. I don't share much of what I am deeply ashamed of. We have all done things that aren't perfect, but I hide them away and even now writing something that touches on that is difficult and painful.
We are all in this together and we are supposed to be there for each other and help one another. The imperfections that we have allow us to learn from and help and be helped. The key to really creating a relationship with someone else is our imperfections. They give us opportunities to become closer, the understanding to care about others trials and the common ground to connect.
Currently I am reading a book titled the Gifts of Imperfection. I love it.
The basic concept is that our imperfections are what give us compassion for others, a chance to practice everyday courage and develop connections to other people. I have already experienced the compassion. I am rarely upset when anyone is late, because I know how hard it is to make everything work right to be on time. I understand when others want things their own way, because I do a lot as well. I am still trying to be more compassionate with others when their imperfections are ones I haven't forgiven myself for. That is a bit more tricky. When I am ashamed of myself for not being a better mom and spending more time with Isabelle working with her, I start to get upset with others over it too. I think that I am deflecting my shame and guilt. If I can get to the point that of trying as hard as I can and accepting that as enough, then I think I can be kinder and more understanding of others. This is one of the points she makes. If we don't accept our own imperfections and give ourselves some slack, then we don't get the gifts of being imperfect.
The courage of telling others something that you really are deeply ashamed of and sharing that imperfection with them in a time that they need to hear it so that they can understand they are not alone is huge. I don't share much of what I am deeply ashamed of. We have all done things that aren't perfect, but I hide them away and even now writing something that touches on that is difficult and painful.
We are all in this together and we are supposed to be there for each other and help one another. The imperfections that we have allow us to learn from and help and be helped. The key to really creating a relationship with someone else is our imperfections. They give us opportunities to become closer, the understanding to care about others trials and the common ground to connect.
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Cousins and children
This last week we have had the opportunity of having James older kids David and Melody and Josh's girls Lissie and Anna stay at our house. We have had a lot of fun. Of course most of the time it was the children having fun and me watching and enjoying. Here are some of the things I loved:
Playing trains with David an Melody. Watching them so nicely take turns and hearing Melody exclaim over and over again "I So excited!" when the train would move on the tracks.
Watching Anna get Melody dressed, brush her hair and take her around helping her and including her.
Seeing Lissie get so excited about make believe games with Evie and Anna, Noah and Melody.
Learning new dances at our family dance Friday night from each child. Evie preferred headbanging, Anna did disco moves, Lissie did animal moves, Alayna showed us how to spin and spin like ballerinas, and Noah was his crazy self. Melody couldn't be contained to one room and skipped happily around the house to the music and David wanted to be right in the middle as an animal, but not a dancing one.
Watching Joseph learn to be more gentle and spending a couple hours playing whatever David and Melody wanted to play in the downstairs toy room so that they would feel comfortable going down there.
Seeing Alayna take melody out into the deeper water at the river and teach her to splash Joseph who overreacted perfectly just to get a huge giggle.
Watching Noah, Anna, Lissie, and Evie make a huge Mud pie on the bank and plaster Noah's back with mud.
Most of all I loved seeing them be friends, take care of each other, and serve one another. I remembered experiencing summer. The freedom and the fun. The ability to spend hours upon hours imagining, pretending and enjoying. With no Adult who is setting the rules, no constant ringing of a bell to say play time is over, a child led world.
Of course there were the not as great times to. Lissie trying to run inside quickly to do something for me and tripping and breaking open her scab. Anna crying because her forearms hurt from some kind of contact dermatitis. David screaming because he had taken the ball from Melody and then not let go easily when Joseph took it from him to give it back and "it hurt him". Evie and Anna hiding in the car where no one could find them and Lissie crying feeling rejected. Melody's blow out (nuf said).
Those times were there but interspersed so that they were hardly noticeable. I hope that as they look back on this uninterrupted time with their cousins they will remember the good things, the fun things and the crazy things. I hope that they (as I do) will cherish the free summer days spent with cousins, making popsicles, wands, fairy dust and magic.
David and Melody have gone home. I can honestly say that I will miss them. It also is less work without them here. (: But still they leave a hole that will be waiting for their next visit for them to fill. We still have two more fun-filled days with Lissie and Anna. I hope they can put up with us for that long. They are already talking about missing their parents, but they are quick to reassure us that they like it here to. :)
A huge thanks to my brothers for raising such wonderful kids (Jake too, we enjoyed our time with Tean and Mo just as much) and for being so willing to share them with us. There is nothing quite like a cousin.
Playing trains with David an Melody. Watching them so nicely take turns and hearing Melody exclaim over and over again "I So excited!" when the train would move on the tracks.
Watching Anna get Melody dressed, brush her hair and take her around helping her and including her.
Seeing Lissie get so excited about make believe games with Evie and Anna, Noah and Melody.
Learning new dances at our family dance Friday night from each child. Evie preferred headbanging, Anna did disco moves, Lissie did animal moves, Alayna showed us how to spin and spin like ballerinas, and Noah was his crazy self. Melody couldn't be contained to one room and skipped happily around the house to the music and David wanted to be right in the middle as an animal, but not a dancing one.
Watching Joseph learn to be more gentle and spending a couple hours playing whatever David and Melody wanted to play in the downstairs toy room so that they would feel comfortable going down there.
Seeing Alayna take melody out into the deeper water at the river and teach her to splash Joseph who overreacted perfectly just to get a huge giggle.
Watching Noah, Anna, Lissie, and Evie make a huge Mud pie on the bank and plaster Noah's back with mud.
Most of all I loved seeing them be friends, take care of each other, and serve one another. I remembered experiencing summer. The freedom and the fun. The ability to spend hours upon hours imagining, pretending and enjoying. With no Adult who is setting the rules, no constant ringing of a bell to say play time is over, a child led world.
Of course there were the not as great times to. Lissie trying to run inside quickly to do something for me and tripping and breaking open her scab. Anna crying because her forearms hurt from some kind of contact dermatitis. David screaming because he had taken the ball from Melody and then not let go easily when Joseph took it from him to give it back and "it hurt him". Evie and Anna hiding in the car where no one could find them and Lissie crying feeling rejected. Melody's blow out (nuf said).
Those times were there but interspersed so that they were hardly noticeable. I hope that as they look back on this uninterrupted time with their cousins they will remember the good things, the fun things and the crazy things. I hope that they (as I do) will cherish the free summer days spent with cousins, making popsicles, wands, fairy dust and magic.
David and Melody have gone home. I can honestly say that I will miss them. It also is less work without them here. (: But still they leave a hole that will be waiting for their next visit for them to fill. We still have two more fun-filled days with Lissie and Anna. I hope they can put up with us for that long. They are already talking about missing their parents, but they are quick to reassure us that they like it here to. :)
A huge thanks to my brothers for raising such wonderful kids (Jake too, we enjoyed our time with Tean and Mo just as much) and for being so willing to share them with us. There is nothing quite like a cousin.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Attitude
Life is full of decisions. Most of them are in our attitude. Some may say that why we do something doesn't matter as long as what we are doing is the right thing. But it matters to us and our well-being.
I am
I am a caring person. I love it when I have the opportunity to serve those around me.
Especially when I can include my children.
I am a mom. I Love to spend time with my children and live for those moments that they ask for my help.
I am intelligent. I love to read and discover.
I am fascinated by the world around me and hope to always be.
I am determined. I am diligent.
Even if something takes a long time I will stick to it and feel joy that I Can do it.
I am healthy. I prefer whole wheat. I don't eat until I'm stuffed. I love the feeling I get when my muscles are working hard. Vegetables and fruit are delicious and candy isn't all it's cut out to be.
This picture of me may not always be completely accurate. O.K., I'll admit it. Lately it has been very off the mark, but it is who I am. Deep inside, regardless of the stresses, laziness, and general tune out, this is who I am. I am not the actions and attitudes of the past, or even what may be in the future. I am this person right now, at this moment. Throughout this past week I have made the conscious effort to Be this woman, not just in my actions because that isn't the real me, but in my attitudes in my heart. And I have found something truly amazing. When I start feeling in a way that is inconsistent with who I am, if I remind myself this is what I want, this is who I am- it helps. It helps me to make the right decisions, and, it helps even more for me to enjoy the moments, the everyday things that I have been taking for granted without realizing it. It helps me to wake up! Smell the roses, they are all around me. Look around, stop staring at the ground in front of myself trying desperately not to trip, and missing all of the beauty and goodness in life. It helps me to live! To feel fully the pokes, the bruises, the breathe-taking vistas, the slow meandering roads, the beautiful trees and the cold prickles of the wind and WAKE UP!
Monday, February 10, 2014
Fun with Cousins and Aunt Mezi!
My Mom and Dad and my brother Jake and his wife Milin went to Costa Rico. It is really a neat trip because my dad went there on his mission and has been wanting to go back for as long as I can remember. He got a phone call a couple years ago from Victoria. Victoria was a 27 year old (or so ) that my dad helped to teach and baptize all those millions of years ago (your welcome dad). She went to a lot of trouble to look him up, because she wanted him to know that she is still strong in the church and that hers sons and grandsons have served faithful missions and generally been doing well. Super awesome phone call. I can only imagine how he must have felt!
So, he told her he wanted to come and visit, fast forward to last week and they went down. We skype with them regularly and things seem to be going well, other then the heat (poor babies, they missed -2 degree weather and a huge snow storm up here which has proceeded to mostly melt so they won't even have the fun of driving in it when they get back).
The funnest part for us though is that we get to hang out with their kids while they are gone!
They are tons of fun. It has been much better then last time, because I am at my own house and have my own stuff, as well as my Hubby to help.
Tean has enjoyed traveling the world with us and getting ready for the Olympics! The first day we went to the USA and learned about the mechanics of airplanes. Then we built paper airplanes and tried them out (this activity continued all day and into the next). We then made cardboard box airplanes to take us to the other countries. This week we've been to Costa Rico, Japan, Kenya and Russia. We have had so much fun watching his enthusiasm and learning together. Noah especially has enjoyed the opportunity to make school especially fun.
Mosiah is a head strong young man, and as Alayna said it is a good thing that he is just So darn CUTE! The girls started out the week catering to his every whim, but that got old after a couple of days. They started to give him to me so that I could tell him no, and developed strategies to distract him and redirect his energy. I love watching his business. I was cracking up at church because Joseph A., Joseph D., Alayna, and I had talks and were a little pre-occupied Sunday morning, so we forgot to bring toys. I pulled out whatever I could find from the diaper bag and my purse. He spent a happy sunday school putting things into and taking them out of his shoes, hiding a little star pin under his clothes and finding it, and dropping a crayon and pen in between the space between the chairs and then getting down to get them until a well prepared mom came in during Relief Society and shared. Unfortunately, she shared her yogurt puffs too. Mosiah decided that he liked them better then what I had and kept asking for more, gobbling them down in no time flat and demanding more. Halfway through the container, she put them away, but Mo was having NONE of that! He had seen where she had put hem and when she didn't respond to his yelling and demanding he proceeded to pull down the bag and try to get into it himself. Needless to say, I decided it was a good time to go on a walk.
We sure do love living close enough to get to know these adorable little kiddos and are greatful to be able to spend time with them.
So, he told her he wanted to come and visit, fast forward to last week and they went down. We skype with them regularly and things seem to be going well, other then the heat (poor babies, they missed -2 degree weather and a huge snow storm up here which has proceeded to mostly melt so they won't even have the fun of driving in it when they get back).
The funnest part for us though is that we get to hang out with their kids while they are gone!
They are tons of fun. It has been much better then last time, because I am at my own house and have my own stuff, as well as my Hubby to help.
Tean has enjoyed traveling the world with us and getting ready for the Olympics! The first day we went to the USA and learned about the mechanics of airplanes. Then we built paper airplanes and tried them out (this activity continued all day and into the next). We then made cardboard box airplanes to take us to the other countries. This week we've been to Costa Rico, Japan, Kenya and Russia. We have had so much fun watching his enthusiasm and learning together. Noah especially has enjoyed the opportunity to make school especially fun.
Mosiah is a head strong young man, and as Alayna said it is a good thing that he is just So darn CUTE! The girls started out the week catering to his every whim, but that got old after a couple of days. They started to give him to me so that I could tell him no, and developed strategies to distract him and redirect his energy. I love watching his business. I was cracking up at church because Joseph A., Joseph D., Alayna, and I had talks and were a little pre-occupied Sunday morning, so we forgot to bring toys. I pulled out whatever I could find from the diaper bag and my purse. He spent a happy sunday school putting things into and taking them out of his shoes, hiding a little star pin under his clothes and finding it, and dropping a crayon and pen in between the space between the chairs and then getting down to get them until a well prepared mom came in during Relief Society and shared. Unfortunately, she shared her yogurt puffs too. Mosiah decided that he liked them better then what I had and kept asking for more, gobbling them down in no time flat and demanding more. Halfway through the container, she put them away, but Mo was having NONE of that! He had seen where she had put hem and when she didn't respond to his yelling and demanding he proceeded to pull down the bag and try to get into it himself. Needless to say, I decided it was a good time to go on a walk.
We sure do love living close enough to get to know these adorable little kiddos and are greatful to be able to spend time with them.
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Update
So I've decided there will bee no apologies for lapses! That would require guilt at a time I should be glad I'm writing. :-)
Isabelle has been sick since we moved here on and off, but mostly on. She currently has the croup which is why I'm sitting here writing this and not at church with everyone else.
Other then that she is doing wonderfully. We have been weaning her off of her medications and it is agonizingly slow, but we are seeing her come back to life in front of us. There was a interaction between the diet and the drug, onfi, so she reverted last year back to a newborn state. We have seen some evidence that the wean may be causing some sort seizures, but it is worth it to have her out of zombie mode.
Noah is completely healed from his sledding experience and recently wrote a paper on courage in which he mentions what happened and said that he was courageous to go sledding again.:-) He only went for one ride behind the four wheeler, and with his mom, but he went. I am proud of him.
Evelyn is really growing into a beautiful young woman. She turned ten a couple of weeks ago, and she is a sweet kind lovely girl. She is helpful and especially loves taking care of little kids. Jake and Milin went to Costa Rica for a week and a half and left Tean 5 and Mosiah 1 here with us. Evelyn is loving playing with them, feeding them, helping them, and taking care of them. She is going to be an amazing mother, watch out world.
Alayna is great with them as well. She has also started to care about studying! She spends over an hour a day on math, and is working hard in her key of liberty class to learn, understand, and do well. She is reading and getting Shakespeare and understanding where this great country of ours came from.
Joseph is thriving in Williamsburg. The few gaps in his education are rapidly becoming filled. He is also enjoying time with friends at the commonwealth school and seminary.
Joseph Daniel is becoming used his new job, and is already indispensable around here. I love dating him, I'm sure it will never get old. He is the light of my life and I am so blessed to have him forever.
And me? I'm happy to be with family, and missing the ones we left. I'm thrilled to have a school room (not that it's where we always do school) but it is lovely to have an away place to keep all of the paraphernalia. I'm still working on getting everything organized and on getting everything done, but it helps to know it's a process that I'm not expected to complete. Just like there will always be something in the house that needs to be fixed, there will always be something in my life to work on.
So overall I think this Lopez family is doing pretty well. We have been blessed with amazing friends, New and old, amazing family all over the country, and out, and amazing solidarity to stick together through everything. We know this all comes from our amazing Lord. Thank you more then I can say.
Thank you.
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