New Blog

I'm moving to a new space on the interwebs.

http://betsyslovelylife.blogspot.com/

Sean's 10!! Double Digits!!

My firstborn baby is 10 years old! It feels like that decade flew by. I love this child of mine. We were fortunate to have family come up last weekend for an early birthday celebration for him.

He requested a vanilla cake with vanilla frosting and vanilla ice cream. I asked if we could add root beer for floats. He happily agreed to that.

Sean's party crew.

  

The kids had two snow days and Sean was so excited to have a day off for his birthday. It also meant that we didn't have a rushed morning so I made him pancakes (I attempted making a 10). He added skittles to the batter of a few of them. And frosting on top of them. 

The kids went out to play with the neighbors in the snow and slush. Sean came in a while later with a busted lip. I'm not clear on the details, but I'm confident he'll make a full recovery. 

I had to run some errands and while we were out we grabbed donuts. Sean really wanted one symbolic candle in it so we could sing to him again.

What did you do for your birthday?
Ate a VV cake (Vanilla Cake with vanilla frosting.)

What is your favorite color?
Blue

What is your favorite toy right now?
Legos 

What is your favorite thing to do?
Eat donuts 

What are your friends’ names?
Jack, James, James

What is your favorite food?
Pure, undiluted sugar

What is your favorite drink?
Hot water 

What is your favorite animal? 

I don't know 

What do you want to be when you grow up? 

Not really that much pressure right now

What is your favorite song?
Tiptoe by Imagine Dragons 

What is your favorite book?
Anything by Rick Riordan 

What was your favorite thing to do with Dad? (I asked if he was ok with this question and he was)
I don't know 

What is your favorite thing to do with Mom?
Snuggling

More Than Family

It has been good for me to reflect on the people in my life and how they enrich my life. I am beyond grateful to have married into a family that is full of so much love. We have become so close and I'm so glad I get to keep them. Since Jon died, I feel like we have become even closer. I look back at the times we have spent together and how we have been there for each other and tried to strengthen each other in our pain. I will forever remember and be grateful for the evening after going to the funeral home to sign paperwork to have Jon cremated. It was such a terrible day for me. I came home and went to bed. An hour or so later I woke up and could hear people downstairs. I texted Nicki from my bed asking her to come up. She and Bethany came and lay down on either side of me. Their presence helped calm me down. After some time with just the three of us, we invited the rest of the Brady family up. Everyone took turns in the closet smelling Jon's clothes and picking a shirt (or more) to take home. We sat together and talked and cried and mourned together.

A few weeks later, we went to Great Wolf Lodge together. The Bradys were there to hold me when I collapsed from grief. David was the first to catch me then. A year before David and Chris held me when I collapsed about a different matter. This Thanksgiving, Chis and Ben were there to hold me when I wasn't ready to be at the dinner table yet. When random memories popped up in Lincoln City, Chris was there to hold me again. I feel incredibly close to Jon's sisters. I don't have the same relationships with my brothers in law, but they have shown me over and over that they are key supporters of mine. Their kindness is unending and precious beyond explanation.

My blood family has also been incredible. Amy dropped everything and came immediately to be with me and take care of my life when I could barely function. Actually, everyone dropped everything and showed up to care for me and support me and my kids. I will never forget that gesture and all the love and help they provided over the weeks following Jon's death. I was born into a beautiful family that loves fiercely and deeply.

My friends are more of the best people I know. Incredible people have come into my life over the years. Many have stayed close friends for years. I have also had the chance to reconnect with so many old friends and I'm grateful that time and distance don't change friendships. I've also had some great new people come into my life recently. Someone recently asked me what the best thing in my life is right now. I immediately thought "the people in it." I've been feeling so much gratitude lately for all the amazing people I know. Thank you everyone for your love!

The Longest Night of the Year

I've been reading about Winter Solstice traditions and I'm sad I won't be home this year. The last three years I have had a nice dinner with any family in town and a friend to celebrate it. The night before Solstice is the longest night. So many nights have been long and lonely since Jon died, but this is the literal longest night of the year. I feel panicky and hopeful at the same time about it. Panicky because I continue to miss Jon every night and thinking about the longest night alone is rough. Hopeful because for the next 6 months, every night will be a little shorter. And because the return of the sun is a big deal to me. Natures rhythms show me that life goes on no matter what. There are cycles that can't be stopped and I don't need to fight against them. I have lots of ideas on how I envision spending Winter Solstice this year. I don't know what I will actually do since I will be away from home, but I keep thinking about it anyway because it shouldn't matter where I am, right? That's kind of the point is to pause and recognize the earth doing her thing. On and on the world spins. Some things change and some stay the same. We are ultimately not in control of what happens around us. I will focus on the beauty in front of me and hold on to warm, loving memories.

We had snow Friday. I took this series from my bed as the day went on. 

Some things change, some stay the same.