Sunday, September 30, 2007
Can i still go back to this place??? Is a place that I like the most... Is also a place that gave me nightmare...
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This picture was drawn by Karen... It was on the day that he ask for a break up... 我猜我太天真了吧！cos i knew we cant continue... 我很想爱他，可是眼睛在说谎。 deep in my heart i still love him... i cant deny that i dont love him anymore.. my eyes keep turning to those pictures that we took...
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Thursday, September 27, 2007
the bleeding finally stop... feel so tired daily... but pain is never ending... feel pain here n there... wish can recover by next week. or my bday celebration will be a waste...
i have a wish for my 21st bday, i hope it will come true..
BLOGGED @10:17 PM
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
I feel so emo today.. Spoken to dear and decided to call Daddy up to tell him abt the SP Power bill... To those that close to me, knows that I suffer from financial difficulties for 9mths plus... Trying hard to clear my bills n etc since I tendered last year....
Called Daddy in the morning, he say talk later....
Called him again at 6plus, wanted to have a sweet and nice talk with him, ended up it was a quarrel... I expected it... Cos it wasnt the 1st time already... I feel so upset... Daddy complaint that I didnt help the family at all... But I gave up my studies just to provide more fund for the 3 sisters to study... Isnt that enough??? To him it always not enough.... To him, I'm always in the wrong... Helping up in house hold chores will end up get scolded for helping... I hadnt enjoy myself for the past 9mths except those overseas trip that I went...
(ps: those are blessed by others ok, I hardly pay a cent)
It's like more than 16 years my dad didnt care for me... Ever since the day at the courts and I was being declare under my dad cares, I never see my Mum again.. Ever since that day, my dad never take care of me... All these while my uncles and grandma took care of me the most... I miss my grandma... She passed away 9yrs ago... And I was curse by my very own Dad for my grandma death... Can you imagine how I feel?? The curse that my very own Dad had on me... What the point of having me in the 1st place?? If you dont love me then why in the 1st place you wanna go thru so much troubles of keeping me?? All because of you want face, you scare grandma scold & nag, so you ask me to lie in the court... If I know this treatment that I will get today, I swear that I will never lie at court... I want my Mummy... I miss her... Those days that I was being ill treated.... Scares are still there... How can I forget it... I tried and the incidents keep repeating in my mind... Why must I go thru all these??? Why cant you just abort me 21yrs ago and I dont have to go thru all these... Its hurts... Really hurts...
Money!!!!!!!!!!! It all abt the word MONEY!!!!!!!!!!! Why everytime it about MONEY that you wanna argue with me????? Didnt I done my part to stop school so that you have more MONEY to buy a bigger car!!!! Have more MONEY to keep your wife pretty!!!! A child that had to stop school at the age of 16 to go out and work and being bully by the society and people are laughting at her at that age!!!!
No certicates, no skills, no knowledge.... All these are what I gone thru from all the people in the market place.... All the critism that I get... People calling me stupid... Brainless... No Mummy child... No one will appreciate what you do.... People forcing me to give up my hopes and futurs... Who is there for me when I go thru all these... Day time get mock by people, get home got nag by home.... Never ending until last year.... Anyone understand me??? No one....
No one understand me......
I wanna get out.... Get out of the house and never come back again.... Why must i go thru all these???????? ARGH!!!!!!!!!!
BLOGGED @10:31 PM
Sunday was the last service for SOTM, finally you guys can see the moon turn blue... Why I say so?? Cause I went for Sunday service. Sunday wasnt just only SOTM last service by Pst Kong but it was SOT Graduation too... Went to support some of my ushers and NGO friends...
Christina was the most happy one... Indeed this 4.5 mths was a big test for her... I been thru with her the 1st lap... Understand how she feel and everything.... Now that she is graduate, growing from glory to glory... See the joy in her face and etc...
After service went to Bedok to eat some snack with Rena, Wei Cheng and Sin Yee... Wei Cheng & Sin Yee wanna have lunch me & Rena just grad a bite cos we are too hungry liao... After which meet up with Cass, Wai Leng, Gerald & I forgot his name... for steamboat... Jonathan join us later on... It was fun.... Miss the fellowship.. Will post the pic sometimes later... We ate from 3plus to 6plus.. Walk around and I start to feel headache so I headed home 1st...
Monday is gonna be a great and busy day for me as Jacinta left the company which I can say finally... I got to jia you...
BLOGGED @10:24 PM
Friends, I will try to blog daily... Give me some times... Trying hard to do it...
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