Tuesday, 14 October 2014
Tuesday, 31 December 2013
This belongs in 2013
Last minute entry from a last minute guy. Not a well thought through, well structured post. Not that many are :p
Written with the winter song playing in the background to boot, how about that? haha.
What a year this year have been. Im about to go off to watch me some fireworks tonight but this is almost mandatory.
I graduated. But that is far form the highlight.
My parents visited me for the first time, saw my brother and his family after 8 years! Highlight? Nope!
I got a job. earn me some moolah. not at all
I started seeing someone! But even that is not the highlight.
I think what I can describe as a "highlight" is seeing how God's sovereign hand is, very graciously, turning the crap that happens into something that grows and matures his people.
In a sense the whole year is a "highlight", but not in the sense it is normally understood. Because trust me, my entire year was a low-light. Low low light my friends.
The shift from being ignorant and oblivious, to being thrown into an "oh no is this happening" world. And I think im still in that world sometimes. When I wake up to think, its like the nightmares continues into day, because they ARE real. Crazytaxi. Sometimes I just feel terribly sorry. Sometimes I feel unjustly treated and pissed. To be honest, I felt like only 1.5 people deserve to treat me as they should. And the 1 who i felt had the right to totally backhand my face responded the best (relatively).
The unpredictabilities of life.
But I digress. As i said, in 2013, God has been infinitely kind, merciful and gracious. The creator of the universe need not care any of us, but he did. Who are we in this universe but a speck on specks?
Do we understand how big this universe is? And bigger still is the One who created it.
And to see how he works in the lives of people, people acting in ways that is unnatural, forgiving where they didn't need to, growing where they could've been destroyed, and all in all becoming less and less of their old self while putting on the new.
This is a post, where without the key and without context would make little sense, but as I leave 2013, I can say that God has made the turds of 2013 (ie. the crap- the sh*tstorm resultant from poor judgment, unwise decisions, rashness, and sin) glorious.
The duration of writing this post has gone 2 songs past its intended length. (Jelita and Fix you)
I have Got to go. Fireworks!!
Friends. friends friends. Ill miss all of you, and im already missing some of you. Some, i've missed for a long time.
This is apt for this year; (and the song; judge of the secrets)
Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly, You have brought me to the valley of vision, where I live in the depths but see You in the heights; hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold Your glory. Let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up, that to be low is to be high, that the broken heart is the healed heart, that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit, that the repenting soul is the victorious soul, that to have nothing is to possess all, that to bear the cross is to wear the crown, that to give is to receive, that the valley is the place of vision. Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells, and the deeper the wells the brighter Your stars shine; let me find Your light in my darkness, Your life in my death, Your joy in my sorrow, Your grace in my sin, Your riches in my poverty, Your glory in my valley.
-Taken from The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions
Ah what challenging year 2013 has been, and though I have been focusing on the difficulties there has undeniable exciting,encouraging and awesome experiences. In all of this, I can look back and said that God is ever faithful, an undeniable constant, and a gracious and perfectly sovereign King. Despite weaknesses, mistakes, sins, outright rebellion, God remains true to His promise;
"God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
and
36 Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on them. "
And so with multiple digressions I stay true to the nature of my posts. 2013, i bid thee farewell. This year will forever burn into my brain and I am already looking back and seeing how amazing God is.
Usually this goes into the private stash ya know, but sometimes when the stars align, you just go slightly off and hit that publish button.
edit; i didnt actually hit publish and im back from the fireworks. Man i feel sick like a dog. Enter 2014, as a sick dog. tear.
(newsletters? i cant do it man. i cant. haha)
Written with the winter song playing in the background to boot, how about that? haha.
What a year this year have been. Im about to go off to watch me some fireworks tonight but this is almost mandatory.
I graduated. But that is far form the highlight.
My parents visited me for the first time, saw my brother and his family after 8 years! Highlight? Nope!
I got a job. earn me some moolah. not at all
I started seeing someone! But even that is not the highlight.
I think what I can describe as a "highlight" is seeing how God's sovereign hand is, very graciously, turning the crap that happens into something that grows and matures his people.
In a sense the whole year is a "highlight", but not in the sense it is normally understood. Because trust me, my entire year was a low-light. Low low light my friends.
The shift from being ignorant and oblivious, to being thrown into an "oh no is this happening" world. And I think im still in that world sometimes. When I wake up to think, its like the nightmares continues into day, because they ARE real. Crazytaxi. Sometimes I just feel terribly sorry. Sometimes I feel unjustly treated and pissed. To be honest, I felt like only 1.5 people deserve to treat me as they should. And the 1 who i felt had the right to totally backhand my face responded the best (relatively).
The unpredictabilities of life.
But I digress. As i said, in 2013, God has been infinitely kind, merciful and gracious. The creator of the universe need not care any of us, but he did. Who are we in this universe but a speck on specks?
Do we understand how big this universe is? And bigger still is the One who created it.
And to see how he works in the lives of people, people acting in ways that is unnatural, forgiving where they didn't need to, growing where they could've been destroyed, and all in all becoming less and less of their old self while putting on the new.
This is a post, where without the key and without context would make little sense, but as I leave 2013, I can say that God has made the turds of 2013 (ie. the crap- the sh*tstorm resultant from poor judgment, unwise decisions, rashness, and sin) glorious.
The duration of writing this post has gone 2 songs past its intended length. (Jelita and Fix you)
I have Got to go. Fireworks!!
Friends. friends friends. Ill miss all of you, and im already missing some of you. Some, i've missed for a long time.
This is apt for this year; (and the song; judge of the secrets)
Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly, You have brought me to the valley of vision, where I live in the depths but see You in the heights; hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold Your glory. Let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up, that to be low is to be high, that the broken heart is the healed heart, that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit, that the repenting soul is the victorious soul, that to have nothing is to possess all, that to bear the cross is to wear the crown, that to give is to receive, that the valley is the place of vision. Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells, and the deeper the wells the brighter Your stars shine; let me find Your light in my darkness, Your life in my death, Your joy in my sorrow, Your grace in my sin, Your riches in my poverty, Your glory in my valley.
-Taken from The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions
Ah what challenging year 2013 has been, and though I have been focusing on the difficulties there has undeniable exciting,encouraging and awesome experiences. In all of this, I can look back and said that God is ever faithful, an undeniable constant, and a gracious and perfectly sovereign King. Despite weaknesses, mistakes, sins, outright rebellion, God remains true to His promise;
"God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
and
36 Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on them. "
Usually this goes into the private stash ya know, but sometimes when the stars align, you just go slightly off and hit that publish button.
edit; i didnt actually hit publish and im back from the fireworks. Man i feel sick like a dog. Enter 2014, as a sick dog. tear.
(newsletters? i cant do it man. i cant. haha)
Thursday, 19 September 2013
PTSD
PTSD from exam. keep thinking - why am I such a retard. And really, that keeps playing over and over. I didnt even felt I perform to my already sub-par level of knowledge. All that practice and studying, and then bam- poor performance. Almost feel like a one-and-done. Luckily this one is thrice-and-quite-possibly-maybe-re-sit-until-you-pass.
One more to go.. need to study hard or taste failure. Which is not the end of the world.
But recently, have been thinking of the year fiill with the unexpected "poo"storm of life.
Ok not recently. ALL. THE. TIME.
final stretch.
mind scattered. must...
edit; its late, and night is where one is weakest. If i studied harder, if i read polio or more of neuro, if I felt a lipoma, if i sticked to structure, If i was more like my other friend, triple, quadruple-thinking everything, erring on the side of caution.. things wouldve have turned out like this. Would the "band of brothers" (so-to-speak) remain? I wished it remained till the end when Christ returns or when we die. I guess we'll find out..
One more to go.. need to study hard or taste failure. Which is not the end of the world.
But recently, have been thinking of the year fiill with the unexpected "poo"storm of life.
Ok not recently. ALL. THE. TIME.
final stretch.
mind scattered. must...
edit; its late, and night is where one is weakest. If i studied harder, if i read polio or more of neuro, if I felt a lipoma, if i sticked to structure, If i was more like my other friend, triple, quadruple-thinking everything, erring on the side of caution.. things wouldve have turned out like this. Would the "band of brothers" (so-to-speak) remain? I wished it remained till the end when Christ returns or when we die. I guess we'll find out..
Sunday, 15 September 2013
treger
There are more days I go regretting how I did things than not. Reflective showers and pre-sleep contemplation. It's hard to live with regret, but it's worse when it is others who suffer for your folly. I am sorry. (even though that does not mean much in terms of outcome, and it surely doesnt really rectify anything)
But in all things, God is sovereign in working out what is good for those who love Him, to conform them to the likeness of His son.
Therein lies some degree of comfort.
Final exams tomorrow. I should've trusted my dad when he said engineering is the best.
I believe him now..
But in all things, God is sovereign in working out what is good for those who love Him, to conform them to the likeness of His son.
Therein lies some degree of comfort.
Final exams tomorrow. I should've trusted my dad when he said engineering is the best.
I believe him now..
Sunday, 25 August 2013
Tuesday, 6 November 2012
The need to procrastinate is strong in this one
I need to power throughhh!
14 more days to catch up on 5 years worth of back logged work.
So much to study. But alas, the flesh is weak and the will, dampened.
FISH CAKES & PUMPKIN CANDIES!
14 more days to catch up on 5 years worth of back logged work.
So much to study. But alas, the flesh is weak and the will, dampened.
FISH CAKES & PUMPKIN CANDIES!
Saturday, 20 October 2012
funeral
Just attended a funeral today. Of my coursemate, 5th year Med student from Singapore. Very saddening, and worse since it was sudden and unexpected. 20s and peak of her life, the world was her oyster. But no longer.
Friends, we are not immortal. It ends. The world tells you to live like you are. I'm telling you, it is foolish to think that. Ignorant.
But that is not the point of this post. The point is that, in the chance that I go unexpectedly, please get someone to log into my blogspot using my laptop or some hacking skills and look for a post regarding death. Lets not waste what was written shall we :p haha.
peace out, A town.
Friends, we are not immortal. It ends. The world tells you to live like you are. I'm telling you, it is foolish to think that. Ignorant.
But that is not the point of this post. The point is that, in the chance that I go unexpectedly, please get someone to log into my blogspot using my laptop or some hacking skills and look for a post regarding death. Lets not waste what was written shall we :p haha.
peace out, A town.
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