THE HIDDEN THINGS

While I was doing the Great Spring Sort, I got down clothes from the attic that will now fit Violet.  Obviously, we have a lot of little girl clothing at our house, and I am thankful to get more use out of a lot of it.  If you have never pulled old baby clothes out of your attic, you may have some surprises in store for you, just as I did the first time I did this.

When you put the clothing away, it is clean and folded - at least, that's how I try to store mine, so that it is not absolute chaos to find what I might need or want later.  I don't keep stained clothing, as a general rule.  However, when you get it down after months, or likely a couple of years, of it sitting in the attic, it looks different.  Stains have reappeared.

This is especially true on little baby stuff when they are still drooling and spitting up a lot all over their clothes.  I remember my shock the first time I realized that those stains had actually been there the whole time, waiting to resurface.  The clothes look pretty good fresh out of the wash, but let them sit still for a while, and their true colors come out.

This feels like an obvious comparison to me, but I spent a lot of time last week thinking about how this is how my life feels.  I think much of the time that things look pretty good on the outside.  I can play by the rules.  I can put on a happy face.  I can be nice to people.  My insides wash up well and can basically put on a good show.

But that doesn't usually show the whole picture, even to myself.  Nitty gritty life has a way of revealing the hidden things inside my heart that are much less pleasant to see.  The stains that sin leaves.  The ugly parts that I would rather keep to myself.  It is usually just a matter of time before they come out in some way.

Maybe its a tough moment with my children when I find myself angrier than I have any right or reason to be.  Maybe its a challenging conversation that leaves me frustrated for days and unwilling to forgive.  Maybe its waiting in a line, when my impatience shows that I actually do believe that the world should revolve around me.  Maybe its the self-righteousness and pride that accompany so many of my thoughts, even when I wish they wouldn't.

Those things are all inside of me, biding their time, waiting to be revealed when pressed.  Sometimes its an incredibly discouraging thought.  I so much want my life to reflect more of who Jesus is as it goes on, and when I realize all over again the things inside of me, it can be so frustrating.

In a book about Galatians by Tim Keller that we have been going through, he said this, and it has really stuck with me:

The gospel of justifying faith means that while Christians are, in themselves still sinful and sinning, yet in Christ, in God’s sight, they are accepted and righteous. So we can say that we are more wicked than we ever dared believe, but more loved and accepted in Christ than we ever dared hope — at the very same time.

(emphasis mine)

I'm so thankful to be so loved and accepted by Christ even in my wicked state.  It's such a great hope to have in Jesus, truly.

Back to the clothes - this is what I do to get most of those stains out.  I learned this tip from a friend, and it really works on most stuff.  It's water, Dawn Dish soap and color-safe Clorox.  I leave them in the bowl for days and stir it every so often.  There's a little tip for your Monday.

THE GREAT SPRING SORT & MY SUBSEQUENT MELTDOWN

This past week has been Spring Break here in the Rock, and since John and I were out of town last week, we laid a bit low this week.  For me, Spring Break meant that most of the things that I do to help me stay somewhat sane were not happening.  Thankfully, my exercise class continued and so did the babies' therapy, so we did have a few places we needed to be.  We also just kept eating at CFA to get out of the house and so I didn't have to bother with meal prep and clean up much.  Such a great option.

The other thing I tackled this week was sorting through the kids' clothing and stuff.  This ritual takes place about every six months as the seasons change.  Every time I do this job, I try to tell myself that it is worse in my head than it actually is.  Unfortunately, that is delusion, and as I complete the task at hand, I am reminded that it is, in fact, every bit as bad as I imagined it might be.

I didn't relish this job with one or two children, and now that there are four children, it feels practically insurmountable.  My attention had been drawn to the fact (by both sets of parents), that the girls seemed to have a lot of toys in their beds.  Now it's time for true confessions by Carol Spenst: I don't wash their sheets super often, and I clean out the nooks and crannies of their beds even less often.  So, on Wednesday, when it was time to tackle their bedroom, the thought made me pale on the inside.

With good reason.  Here is the pile of stuff that I pulled from out of their covers, from under their beds and from the edges of their beds all the way around.  This is after I threw away a bunch of stuff and concluded CFA must actually hate us with all of the card kid toys they have given out recently.  I threw away so so many cards.

The insane thing is that I did most of this with them present.  Which meant the whole affair was punctuated with sobs of "Why are you throwing that away?  I love that" and "Can I please keep the Hello Kitty Valentine box?"  These sobs all came from Lily who seems to become very attached to just about everything these days and regularly asks me for things I am about to throw away.  To which I reply, "NO."  She does not need cereal boxes to add to this mess.

They did help me sort everything into piles, with Lily regularly exclaiming, "We have not seen this for YEARS!" and Bella saying, "This is taking For-Hours."  I'm so glad they have thought to combine "Forever" and "Hours" into one word they both use to complain if anything is taking longer than they think it should.



I did manage to get their room much more orderly, which should last about a week, and we made some rules about what they could take with them to bed, which hopefully will last a little longer.  I also went through everyone's clothes, and John brought down all the tubs and helped me make decisions.  My dining room obliged to serve as Mission Control for this project.



The helpers continued to be in full effect.




By last night, I was pretty much over the whole thing.  The hardest part for me is making decisions about where stuff should go and what to do with it.  And then I get stuck wondering how and why we have so much stuff, which usually leads me to the land of guilt, because I am the chief purchaser of said "stuff," so I bear blame in the fact that there is as much as there is.  John was graciously helping me, because I was becoming somewhat listless and grouchy.  I hate doing stuff that I am not good at, and this smacks of my own failings all around.

But we got through.  It is mostly finished, and the laundry is even put away.  And I was reminded that I need to do very little spring shopping, because there is already an abundance of clothing.  Which I am thankful for, ultimately.  I really am thankful, and I know doing this job is worth it.  Maybe next time it won't be so bad.  Maybe.  (Can you hear the delusion as well?)

ANNUAL TRIP TO THE DAFFODILS

Monday (my birthday), we headed out to Wye Mountain to see the daffodils in full bloom.  This is the latest in March it has ever been since we started going, because this winter is the one that keeps giving even into spring.  But, the flowers and trees are blooming anyway, in seeming defiance of the chilly temperatures.  Even though we had been gone all of last week, John left work early so we could make our annual pilgrimage to the flower field.

It takes about 25 minutes to get there, and that was long enough for Bella to take the nap she never takes at home.



With four kids in tow this year, I got right to picture taking, knowing that I had a limited window of time to be working with.  Violet was first up, and she was not into smiling.  At all.  No matter what weird/funny to me thing I did.  Thankfully, even serious Violet is very cute in the daffodils.

John was entertaining William by throwing him in the air while I was photographing Violet.  I turned the camera quickly and got this shot.

When it was William's turn, he was quite willing to smile.  Sweet boy.




The girls enjoyed running through the field.  I love their enthusiasm for life.



Both girls were pretty easy to work with for pictures with the promise of candy.

They were quite quick to demand the promised M and M's.



Before long, we realized that Violet's breathing was not sounding great, and I had not thought to bring her inhaler.  I am very much still learning this "allergy induced" asthma thing.  Because we did not want her wheezing to increase, we cut our time in the field pretty short.  We took one family picture with self-timer set up on the stroller.  The only problem with self-timer is that you have virtually no chance of getting babies to look at it.  Either way, I still like the picture.



I decided to put all of the pictures from past years on this post, along with links to the years that I blogged about.  I love seeing our family grow with the daffodils.

Here's 2010 - I was pregnant with Bella this year.



And {2011}



And {2012}



And {2013}



This is one of my very favorite traditions!  Happy Spring time to you.

FINDING OUT ABOUT THE TWINS: ONE YEAR LATER

One year ago today, we learned about the twins.  In ways that only could be orchestrated by God, they were put into our path, and after praying and asking for his leading, we said "YES."  And though I had doubts and fears, I could see that the Lord was really guiding us.  When I shared the story for the first time on the blog, I really didn't know what would come of everything.  But, a year later, we have William and Violet (our surprise bonus girl), and we are smitten, enamored and so incredibly grateful for them in our life.

Last night, we went out to dinner for my birthday at one of my favorite restaurants - Marketplace Grill in Conway.  Yum.  As John and I sat with our four precious kiddos (and our flaming queso), we were amazed at all that God has given us.  (Also, the children were mostly very sweet through all of dinner, which makes it easier to admire them.)  We are really and truly a family of six, and we are really and truly so glad!





Strangely enough, my birthday has become a marker of sorts with our adoption journey.  Two years ago on my birthday is when we really started thinking and praying about adopting.  And then, last year, we got word of the twins on the day after my birthday.  Celebrating my birthday with the twins sitting around the table with us was special and a bit unbelievable.  We just had no idea how amazing it would actually be.  Of course, there are hard moments and days, because this is life.  But, we would not trade it for anything.  Ever.

Today, I met up with Gran Gran and the babies' half sister for lunch at CFA.  We needed out of the house, and it worked out perfectly.




Never in a million years could I have dreamed up a story where we would know our children's birth family and be so incredibly enriched by it.  Gaining family is a gift that only God knew we needed, and I am so thankful that God knows better than we do what we need.

So, as I think back to all of the uncertainty of last year at this time, I shake my head, amazed at what God has done.  I never get tired of telling this God story and having the evidence of his handiwork nearby.  We are so thankful.  So thankful.

MEXICO: PUERTA VALLARTA

(You can read about the first part of our Mexico trip here, Part One and here, Part Two)

After three nights at Verana, we transferred to a sister property of theirs in the city - Hacienda San Angel.

We decided it would be nice to mix things up and have a night someplace a little more bustling to help transition us back to real life, and this hotel was the perfect place to do just that.  It was covered in antiques, fountains, flowers and chandeliers.  So many of my favorite things.

Our room was the Angel's Dome.  Under normal circumstances, I would not be super excited about a room with an "angel" theme.  However, these were not normal circumstances.  The room was done so well, with just the right touches of cherub without overdoing it.  Never thought I would write that.

From the hotel, we could see the city's cathedral and the ocean.

John and I decided to walk around the Old Town a bit to see what there was to see.  As it turns out, it was pretty hot, and the city was pretty similar to other popular coastal Mexican cities.  We came back to our oasis of a hotel and spent time sprawling in the pool.

As wonderful life would have it, Mary and Kristin were also staying at this hotel with us.  We all decided to do dinner together there and were so very pleased we did.  The view was gorgeous, and we were able to watch the sunset on the water.  A full and very talented Mariachi band performed, including serenading us at our table a couple of times.  It sounds like it would be awkward, but their singing was beautiful, so it was really enjoyable.





We had our last breakfast with Mary and Kristin on our final morning there and were so sorry to say goodbye!

Four of the nine Bichon Frise that live there wished us a fond farewell.



All in all, it could not have been a better trip, and we are so very grateful.  We had uneventful travel back and even managed to score some Dr. Pepper "Light" at the airport, which I had never seen internationally before.

(For anyone wondering, they did pat down my top bun as I went through airport security.)

Re-entry has not been too bad.  My blessed parents had quite a week with the asthma diagnosis for Violet and William's double ear infection/ruptured ear drum in the midst of normal crazy.  They were extremely thankful when we arrived home promptly on Friday evening.  My mom had a stomach bug in the middle of the week, and Wes totally stepped up to the plate - amazing!  There are seriously not enough thank yous in the world, because we could not have done it without them - thanks, Mom and Wes.  We love you both so much, and the kiddos are so fortunate to have you as their Nana and Papa.