It's December. Universally known as a time of peace, goodwill, joy, and love. And I just can't seem capable of breaking out of the funk I've slid into.

I'm so thankful for best friends who truly 'get' me and believe in me, even when I don't believe in myself!

Tomorrow, hopefully, my little marshmallow gets to go home to her mommy, daddy, and brothers. I am so thankful that I can make a difference.

Some days it hits me. I have the greatest family in the world! My brothers are some of the greatest men I know. My sisters are beautiful, talented, caring women. My brothers and sisters-in-law are bright, caring, wonderful people. My 'adapted' brothers and sisters are some of my closest and dearly loved friends. My parents are good, kind people who raised wonderful children and want so much to make a true difference in this world. I have several aunts and uncles who are second parents to me and others who I don't know as well, but love deeply nonetheless (ditto on the cousins!). I have amazing grandparents. I have a beautiful nephew and a gaggle of 'nieces' and 'nephews' that I would lay down my life for.

How blessed am I?!

CREATIVITY!!! I am so grateful for creativity!!

Blooms

Today I have a plan. A plan to plant! I have oodles of bulbs, just waiting to be placed in the cool earth. I hope that when spring comes inching into our world, these bulbs will reward me with a spectacular show of color and sweet smells.

I'm grateful for FLOWERS!

Gratitude attitude

The weather is definitely turning chillier. The leaves, in vivid hues of gold, red, orange and brown are quickly falling and trees are starting to become barren. Halloween, with its ghosts, ghouls, goblins, and even princesses, has come and passed. In other words, November is here.
This year has passed at warp speed. Buying a house, raising puppies, settling in at work, making friends, and watching my adorable nephew sprout and grow have all sped by.
I was reminded today that my Month of Thankfulness has returned. I was reminded that amidst all the craziness of life, I need to take this time to be grateful for that which I have been given.
This in mind, today I am full of gratitude for babies. I LOVE babies. (No big secret here). I love their warm snuggly bodies, their googly smiles, their giggles, their innocence and unconditional love. There is nothing in this world more relaxing and happy making than cuddling and rocking a sweet little one in the middle of the night. Watching them make progress, grow, and develop brings such delight and peace. I love that babies give me a sense of purpose, a 'raison d'etre' per se. I love that because of babies, I feel like I make a difference in this world.

So, tell me, what are YOU grateful for?

Going wacky!

Last night, I got a sudden, overwhelming, urge to rearrange my room. Did I do it?

Nope.

Why not?

Well, after messing around with a room planner and graph paper for a while, I just couldn't figure out how I wanted to do it and didn't want to waste tons of energy just to put it all back.

Oh yeah, did I mention what time the urge struck? 12:30 a.m. That's right. I'm officially totally screwed up on my sleep schedule. I slept today from 7 am to 12:30 pm. And it's my 5th night off!!!

After working the past 6 nights, it has begun to feel like that work IS my life. My whole life.

My feet are swollen. My bad knee constantly throbs. My head hurts.

And yet, tonight, my first night off...I really miss my Marshmallow.

Hanging

Yesterday was a good day, an awesome day, one of the best days I've had in quite a while.

I did lunch with Therese at Rm. 39. Yum! We sat and talked for 2 hours straight. Eventually, we figured we should move on and stop making the nice waiter keep our water glasses full.  We then headed back to my place, picked up the dogs, and headed to the park. Thanks to Lindsay, I now know that Shawnee Mission Park has an AWESOME dog area.

We took the trail to the lake and the boys had their first experience swimming. Made me wish I'd worn a swimsuit. The water was a wonderful temperature and it was roasting out. The only downside to the outing was the fact that the boys are a bit too friendly. As in, they freaked out when I wouldn't let them go and greet/play with every single other dog we saw, especially at the beach. They did great with the other dogs and people they were allowed to greet, but couldn't understand why I held them back. I just don't know other peoples' dogs and am not sure of the reception the boys might get.

After the park, we stopped at Sheridan's, got the boys pup cones and Therese had her first Sheridan's sundae. YUM again!

It was so very nice to have a friend to hang out with. It has been so long! Thanks Therese! I look forward to hanging out again!

It's one of those days. I'm so very bored and so tired of  being alone. I want to DO, but what? I want to GO, but where? I want to be with people, but who?

I don't even know where to start.

Bake time

I woke up today with a craving for baking. Not just any baking, but homemade cinnamon rolls. Considering how long it takes to make just two dozen rolls, it was a pretty strong craving, to say the least.

Gathering ingredients together, I discovered that I had no yeast. A quick trip to the store remedied that. Yummyness was under way.

So that is what I did with my morning. What are you doing this nice, cool August day?

Who are you?

Wait! Before you glance at the pics and think I am just repeating myself, hear me out!

Since bringing the 'boys' home, I've found myself in the middle of a mystery. Tag is obviously a Lab mix, but Toby's other origins have been a mystery. People frequently stop me and comment on what a handsome dog he is and "What is he?" They are amazed and dubious when I tell them that the boys are actually litter mates. Because of this, I have frequently spent free time roaming the net for images of Lab mixes that could explain my boys' origins. I think I may have found a few answers.What do you think?! Am I on to something here?

I've always wondered if Tag had a bit of German Shepherd in him. The way he cocks his head and pricks his ears is very distinctive. The dog on the right is a German Shepherd/ Lab mix and could easily be a grown version of Tag.

The dog on the left, while NOT Toby, looks like a grown carbon copy of him. This dog is an Australian Shepherd/Lab mix.

 

 

Growing quickly

Routine

My life has become quite routine lately. Work days have a certain rhythm to them, as do my days off. Each day is fairly predictable. This past week, this could not have been more clear.
Apparently puppies, like children, thrive on routine. This last week I had a bit of a rotating door with visitors. On Sunday Mom and Grandma came down from Kirksville.  They both spent the night and Mom headed off about midday on Monday. Late Monday afternoon, Lorene and Glenna arrived. They had traveled to Ohio for a meet for the shooting club that Lorene is secretary and treasurer of. They spent the night and the two of them, as well as Grandma, headed off to Utah the next morning. About 30-45 minutes after they took off, Margo and Newell arrived on my doorstep to visit for a couple of days. Tom had headed to Boundary Waters with Caleb, Gina, Am, Nathan, Kate and Sam for a week of canoeing, hiking and wilderness camping.
While I was having a great week, loving seeing so much family and getting out and about, the pups were getting more and more stressed. The beginning of the week was fine. Mom and Grandma were familiar figures, worth getting somewhat excited over, but not a huge deal. Lorene and Glenna were fun. Lorene played a ton with them and they got really worked up. By the time Margo and Newell arrived, they were wild, crazy, and had a hard time calming down. I had to gate them into 'their' room, which only made them upset. They would bark and bark whenever they saw Newell, especially when he was crawling around. They were really jumpy, even barking at Margo when she got up in the middle of the night to make a bottle for Newell. They would NOT listen or obey, were snippy and snappy and kept jumping...a TON...on me. As a result, they ended outside most of the time.
The past few days, I've been getting back into routine. I have worked and slept and they have spent a great deal of time in their crate as a result. And yet, they seem somewhat relieved. They are listening and obeying better. Not well, but better. They are less ornery. Apparently routine is good. 
PS I had a great week despite the ornery dogs!!!

Thoughts

There come nights at work, once in a while, where it feels like it's all I can do to keep from drowning. I tread water as hard as I can, doing my best to keep all my priorities straight and be the best nurse I can be. Despite this, I still feel like I must be failing. Surely things are not as crazy or tough as I feel. I must just suck. I wonder if I'm really cut out for this, if the babies would be better off with another nurse...with someone who doesn't feel so muddled and overwhelmed when the going gets tough. When I am still at work long after my shift supposedly ended, trying to piece together my charting and make sure the next nurse has as smooth sailing as possible. And then, my charge nurse (who was also still at work, trying to wrap things up from our shift), comes over to check on me, pats me on the back and says, "You did a wonderful job last night. These (particular type of sick babies) are really tough." And then, I know I am right where I am supposed to be, doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing.

Woof

This is what is occupying me these days. Loads of loves, fun and WORK. Good times!!

Doggydom

I realize I haven't updated in a while. Life has been a bit hectic. I am all moved in to my house, have most things put away, have started on the yard, have been working on decorating...oh, and throw in work as well.

I am still loving my house. It's wonderful. Just the right size. AWESOME yard. AMAZING neighbors! So quiet not living in apartments! What's not to love?!

Today, I made another big change in my life. I've turned in applications, and, as of next Saturday...duh,duh,duh...I am becoming a dog owner. Not just one dog is moving in, but two adorable Lab mix puppies are coming to join our 'family'. I did a lot of thinking about what kinds of dog, what age, etc. I had definitely decided on a young pup (all the better to adapt to living with me and two cats). The more I thought about it, the more I realized one pup might be pretty lonely on those nights I work and the subsequent days when I am sleeping. After consulting various sources and ascertaining the legality of pet ownership in my area, I decided that two pups from the same litter would be a great idea. So, presenting:

Dude and Mac (soon to have new names)! (Oh, and there is a slight possibility one of them may be switched out with another littermate) I'm quite excited!

Happy Thoughts

Only 6 days until closing and 9 days until I start moving in!! Oh, and the loan is approved! This means it is official...I am going to be a homeowner.
As I am very excited, I feel the need to share all the things about becoming a homeowner that I am most looking forward to.
My 'Happy Thoughts' list:
1. A yard. A real yard... that is MINE. I can landscape, garden, mow, weed, play and generally have a WONDERFUL time!!!
2. I can decorate. If I want to paint my walls purple, green, orange, blue or tie-dye, I CAN. I can arrange, rearrange, construct, build walls, tear down walls, or any combination of the above.
3. I can finally get a dog. I love my kitties, but miss having a dog around. I haven't felt right about confining another dog to an apartment and now I will have the house and fenced in yard to accommodate a pup.
4. No walls, or ceilings, or floors shared with neighbors. When I'm awake at 0200 and in the mood to dance, sing, exercise, or even clean, I can do it without worry of disturbing neighbors.
5. A spare bedroom AND an office/sunroom/craftroom. I can craft/sew/scrapbook to my heart's content and not have to put things away to accommodate guest(s). I can build in shelves and organize my craft/sewing/scrapbooking supplies.
6. Along with the previous accommodating my craftiness, maybe I can look more into the whole foster parenting thing and reasonably have room for another person continuously in my life/home.
7. Storage! Finally! (Not to mention that the one storeroom in the basement is the perfect storm room...and I live in Tornado Alley)
8. Finally, I feel like I'm finally coming home. Really, truly home. I won't have to worry about what I'm going to do when the lease is up, where I'm going to live next year, whether I should bother settling in and getting to know people in my area...only to risk moving again soon. No, I'm going to be home, and, as far as I'm concerned, as of right now, it's for good.

Sleepless in KC

I knew there was some reason I dragged my feet starting the search to buy a house. Deep down, I must have known the paperwork alone would create one huge tidal wave of stress attempting to drag me down to the depths. Every time one paper is turned in to prep the mortgage brokers to turn in the application for underwriting, that paper seems to create another wave of "We need Form A to document and explain Form B"... and "Please write a letter of explanation and documentation for Forms A-H, just in case". The day that I got the email stating that only one more document was required, I was so relieved. This lasted two hours. Then I received another email stating that the form I had turned in required more documentation, in the form of 3 OTHER forms! Will it ever end?!

I am excited to become a homeowner, truly. I'm afraid that the stress of getting to that point, however, is wreaking havoc on my ability to sleep soundly. I'm a walking zombie half of the time lately because I'm having trouble getting more than 4 hours of actual good sleep. The day I receive notice that financing is set and closing is on track and schedule, I may just sleep for 24 hours!

Livin' it up

After several hectic weeks, lots of getting to know my area, and paperwork...paperwork...paperwork... I am closing in on being a homeowner!! With much assistance from my real estate agent, I have a closing date and move in date on a beautiful 2 bedroom ranch home in 4 1/2 weeks!!! YAY! I can't wait!
http://www.nancykoons.com/remaxmidstates/modules/internet/search/includes/mapsearch/listingpopup.asp?mlsid=311&mlsnumber=1649018&l=y

Home sweet home?

This weekend, I entered the wondrous, strange, scary and intensely exciting world of home buying. I've never done this before, and as such, had no idea where to begin.
After receiving names and numbers of a couple of real estate agents from people I work with or know from church, I made a couple of calls/emails. Sure enough, I got a pretty quick response.
On Friday, Mom drove down to spend the weekend with me. We met with an agent on Saturday and sat down to discuss the nitty gritty of home buying. The agent even scrambled to have a few homes ready for me to get started on viewing.
Tomorrow, I meet with a mortgage broker to discuss getting preapproved and general financing info.
Oh boy, wish me luck!!

Updates

I've never been so glad to have the holidays over. I know, that may sound sad, but they honestly were not the best of times for me this year.
It was great visiting family and friends in Utah. I did enjoy that. Christmas, well, that is a long story, best forgotten...but if you really want to hear it...call me (noone does that lately and I'd love to hear from people). I did enjoy spending New Years with family, and it would've been perfect if there had been more sleep, less traveling, just a touch more warmth and a couple more people.
Life is getting back into a more normal swing of things. Or a slightly altered version of normal. Kate has come to KC to stay with me...possibly until April, when she heads back to school. She gets my spare bedroom and bathroom. We have had fun playing with food, coming up with all sorts of yummy recipes and learning to improve our cooking skills. We've also found that we both suck at the Wii, but in a fun way.

Ok, so that's life. Oh, and here are a couple fun pics of Newell from New Years. What a cute, smart little guy! Margo and Tom are doing a great job at this parenting thing!