Embracing 30 and the Camera

My handsome husband, my baby, and me at my lovely 30th birthday party. (Will blog more about that soon...) My son refuses to look at the camera, and I refuse to pose for 50 pictures while we try every animal noise on the planet trying to get him to look at the camera... so that is what most of our family pictures look like.



That's a lot of smoke. I'd like to say it was from a smallish fire my strong, dashing husband saved us from... but it was from the 30 candles atop my cake. Blah.

It's a Funny Story...

So, OK. You know how you and your spouse always seem to have these little, stupid things that you pick on each other about? Well, Sean and I are always (really, always) arguing with each other about who doesn't listen. Or, who needs to get their hearing tested. Usually, Sean thinks I don't listen. And I think he doesn't speak loudly enough.

A normal day in the Hale house sounds a lot like this:

Sean: blah blah wah wah blah blah blah blah.

JoDee: What?

Sean: blah blah wah wah blah blah blah blah.

JoDee: WHAT?

Sean: BLAH BLAH WAH WAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!

JoDee: Sean Michael! SPEAK UP! I swear you mumble! I can't hear you when you talk in the opposite direction/from the other room/with the TV on and you NEED to SPEAK UP!

Sean: You never listen to me/you need to get your hearing checked.

JoDee: My hearing is fine!! I hear the baby crying at all hours of the night while you're sleeping soundly! You need to learn how to communicate!

Sean: I speak clearly. You're losing your hearing. Get your hearing checked.

(Sean never yells. It's true. And sometimes it gets on my nerves. At least if he yelled, I'd be able to hear him.)

So... a few weeks ago, when I had had it with an earache that never seemed to go away... I made an appointment with the ENT. As I was sitting in the waiting room (in which I was the only person over the age of 6 and under the age of 60) I filled out my new patient paperwork. After checking "no" to about 100 random symptoms, I came across "hearing loss." Well, feeling daring, I checked YES.

The doctor came in rather quickly, examined my ears, and said they were fine. Clean. No sign of infection. So, why the constant earache that wakes me up almost every night??

TMJ.

That's right. My tooth-grinding must be at an all-time high because I now have TMJ. The truth? I have no idea what the T, M, or J stand for. All I remember the doctor saying was "arthritis of the jaw." Awesome. I'm even older.

After my exam, she asked me about my "hearing loss." Well, I didn't exactly know what to say because somehow, "My husband and I are constantly arguing about whether or not I'm losing my hearing, I know I'm not, but I'd like to settle the argument once and for all" didn't really seem appropriate. So, I lied. But, just a little.

Then. I had my hearing tested.

It wasn't the hearing test you remember from 3rd grade. I was sitting in a special little room, with these ear thingies in my ears that completely drowned out ALL sound except the sound of the (really adorable) woman's voice who was performing the test.

I felt a little guilty that I was having this test done while she could possibly make the day of one of the old men in the waiting room (seriously, she was so darn cute...) but I had an argument to settle and I was determined to settle it.

The results? Perfect hearing. I didn't miss a single thing. AH HA!!! I WAS RIGHT!!!!

I of course called Sean as soon as I got out of her office, proclaiming my rightness and his wrongness...

his reply?

"Then that settles it. You have selective hearing."

Of course he would say that. So now I have selective hearing. And TMJ. And a new night guard that makes me gag every time I put in it. Awesome.

Sprinkler Fun

Yes, I'm still updating about our trip to Minnesota...

We decided that this trip was the perfect time to introduce Carson to sprinklers. Not the best idea now that I think about it because even though it was nice and warm outside, the cold water up north of Texas is actually cold. Really really cold. Sooo... as you can see Carson wasn't all that into it...

At first we thought naked was OK...



(OMG that little baby butt is soooo cute!!!!)

Then when he hated it, we decided maybe swim trunks would make a difference. Ha.







Maybe if Daddy isn't such an idiot and runs throught the sprinklers instead of just standing there and waiting for the ice cold water to hit you...



Oh, no, baby! You still hate it? OK. How about some bubbles?













Bubbles (and Aunt Stephie) make everthing better, don't they? Yes. They do.

And because we obviously couldn't remember that ice cold water being sprayed at a one-year-old's face wasn't all that fun, we brought him to a little neighborhood water park (full of SPRINKLERS) the very next day!













What surprised me, after all the water is ICE COLD, Carson enjoyed sitting in the fountain more than being sprayed by the sprinklers. Go figure.





Something I learned about my son while vacationing? He's pretty much cool with anything.

I'm 30

To celebrate this monumental occasion, I treated myself to a down-right indulgent manipedi today. My sweet friend, Sarah, offered to watch Carson and I jumped on it about as fast as... OK, I'm lacking a simile here, but you get the picture. An hour or so later, I found myself sitting in a pedicure chair getting seriously pampered.

I went all out. Spared no expense. I got the Deluxe Spa Pedicure and Deluxe Spa Manicure- complete with shellak (sp?). It's supposed to last two weeks... we shall see. It took about 2 hours- no lie. My butt started to fall asleep.

I was feeling so relaxed and so serene, I started convincing myself that 30 isn't so old after all. I could pass for at least 26, no younger unless the person guessing was half-blind, but 26 isn't bad. Heck, I got carded the other day! I can't look that old yet... I've got nothing to worry about. This birthday is a breeze!!

And then, my manipedi found a way of bringing me back down a peg. The pedicurist took out a power tool in order to chip away at my crusty feet. I guess a regular old pumice stone was not enough for my old-lady hooves... I needed a power sander to do the job. Geez. Then, my manicurist decided to karate-chop my arms as part of my relaxing massage... and my saddle bags began swinging violently in protest. I could even feel the beginnings of a waddle vibrating under my chin.

Luckily, being 30 now, I have a much greater ability to laugh at myself than I did at 20, and I found the whole experience to be pretty funny! I left feeling amazing and greasy and absolutely OK with 30.

Now, while baby boy naps, I'm going to go get all fancied up for dinner tonight with my hubby. He's taking me out for steak, and then tomorrow he's planned a karaoke birthday party for me! Whooo hooo!

Even if I'm technically old now, my birthday is still my birthday and I'm going to enjoy the heck out of it!

Mommy and Carson

This was such a sweet day on our trip to Minnesota.

We spent the last few days of our vacation in Hill City. Possibly the smallest town ever. (I know there are smaller towns according to the population signs; Luckenbach, TX for example. But that's not a real town.) Hill City is an actual, real-life, thriving small town. The grocery store was the size of a gas station, and there were two paved roads and the rest of the main city streets were dirt. I loved it.

We spent our afternoon fishing on Little Bass Lake. It was gorgeous.



Carson hated, and I mean hated, his life vest. It cracked me up. He kept trying to lay back like he was passing out or something. Poor kid. I guess it was pretty restrictive, but he was acting like a dog in clothes for the first time: totally freaked out and afraid to move except to lay down. Hilarious!

He also kept trying to touch the water, or just plain wanted out of the boat and in the water. He loves the water, or as he says, "wa wa!" We didn't catch a bunch of fish that day, but we did have a great time.

That night, we headed out to the town bar/restaurant, Harry's, and took part in a betting ritual we had never seen before... a MEAT RAFFLE. That's right- they sell raffle tickets for meat. In the freezer next to our table there were packs of steaks, roasts, bratwursts, and sausages. The winner of the raffle had their pick until all were gone. We didn't win any meat, but I did have an opportunity to act as white-trash as I ever have- I took a shot while holding my baby.







Notice my "wavy" hair. My hair is stick straight. Crazy straight. That very morning in our villa shower, I noticed a bottle of Wash and Curl shampoo. That's right. Straight out of the 1980's and straight into my shower stall, here it was. I had to try it. You know, in the interest of science.

Crazily enough, I think it actually did work to some degree... I just used my Aunt Nina's styling product for curly hair and scrunched my hair as it air dried... and then I did it again the next day using my regular ol' shampoo to compare. And you know what- everyone said it looked better the day I used Wash and Curl shampoo. Whaddya know? I also had several compliments on how good my hair looked that day... which led me to reevaluate my usual hair style. Which is straight. Very, very straight.

Carson couldn't hang out at Harry's as long as we wanted to since he had such a fun-filled day fishing and all, so we ended up walking around outside the bar to entertain the little guy. Across the dirt road, there was a family hanging out in their front yard and when they saw Carson toddling along the side of the street, called out, "Hey! Want to come over and show your baby our puppies?" I thought about two seconds, when I replied, "Of course!"

These puppies were so dang cute. A Chihuahua and Minuature Dachshund mix, and so stinking adorable. Carson loved them too.





You know, I just don't think there are many places in the United States where you can go to a bar, meet everyone there (several of whom held your baby) and then walk across the street and play with puppies. Seriously. What a great day!

Epic FAIL

Day 3 of cold turkey no paci...




Yeah. I quit.

If you had my morning, you would have too. Don't judge.

Flying with Baby

I was so so so incredibly unbelievably crazily SCARED out of my mind about flying with Carson. He already made a round trip to Minnesota last summer, and he did just fine, but that did not calm my fears. Not one little bit.

We managed to check our massive amounts of luggage and make it through security without a hitch, which was the only thing Sean was nervous about. What? Why was he only nervous about that?

Why wasn't he nervous about entertaining a small child at the airport for an hour before we boarded (Sean was nervous about traffic so we got there reeeeaaaalllly early) and then on the plane for two and a half hours??? Why?

I'll tell you why.

He knew I'd be the one doing that part.

The big turd sat down and got out a book!!! I was chasing Carson around the airport for an hour, and then entertaining the poo out of him for nearly the entire flight while Sean read a book.

I was getting pretty peeved about it, so I handed him the baby and said "Here! You do it!" And about 30 seconds later... this is what I see...




Yeah. Not cool.

When he woke up about 30 minutes later, Sean handed him back to me and I proceeded to entertain some more. Thank God for the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse coloring book with STICKERS that I bought for the flight. And the many, many snacks. Otherwise, I might have lost my mind.

All in all... Carson appeared VERY VERY well behaved on both his flights to and from Minnesota because I was VERY VERY busy keeping him busy. He didn't annoy any other passengers (I can only assume from lack of eye rolling and loud, obvious sighs) but he sure did annoy me! And so did his father.

Proof I'm Crazy

(Oh. My. I'm having major mommy guilt right now... it's baby's first night without a pacifier. Yep. COLD TURKEY. I'm fReAkInG oUt!!! He's in his bed just talking away right now... I wonder how long it will be until he starts screaming bloody murder?)

So... Sean, Carson, and I have just returned from a two week vacation to visit family in Minnesota and Wisconsin. It was really, really lovely. I kind of had a little freak out this morning when I realized that I was home. Just me and Carson. No aunts, uncles, cousins, or grandparents to help entertain my kid. No husband to guilt into helping me because he was off golfing all morning. And, most sadly of all, most definitely not pregnant. Sigh.

(Oh, geez. "Mama!! Mama!! Mama!!" coming from baby's room. I can't take the guilt. I'm going in.)

(I'm back. I can't believe I only lasted 5 minutes. I rocked him for a minute until he was calmed down, and laid him back down. My heart aches.)

I guess that's really to be expected since not much baby-making can be done while staying in a guest room with your baby in a pack-n-play right next to you and your grandparents mere feet away from you separated only by a paper-thin wall. What? You don't find that romantic?

But still, it's disappointing. I know it's only been three months, but it seems like a flipping eternity and since last time wasn't a cake walk, I'm now starting to doubt that it's ever going to happen.

Pair that with turning 30 in just eeeeeek!!!! 4 days, and after gaining at least 5 pounds on vacation (I went with three pairs of shorts, and came back only fitting in two of them), and now I just feel FAT. OLD. NOT ON VACATION. And NOT PREGNANT.

And that's pretty much what my pity-party was all about this morning. It wasn't until Carson had been sleeping two straight hours (his sleeping/napping on vacay was AWFUL!!) that I realized I was totally wasting this precious nap time and I got my butt in gear.

After Carson woke up (and stayed up... he slept three hours this morning, so there was no afternoon nap), I accomplished the following:

bank
dry cleaners
dentist (to pick up my new night guard- more on that later.)
grocery store
unloaded my whole freaking car (that's nearly the hardest part of grocery shopping, right?!)
prepped dinner
cleaned kitchen
finished dinner
went on walk- stop at playground for the little man
bathed baby
put baby to bed
annoyed husband by asking for probably the 23rd time today to take the dog out and play with him (he still hasn't.)

(OMG. I think the kid might be asleep. He's quiet now. Fingers crossed, people!!!)

(Oh skittles... if I actually do break him of his night-time paci, does this also mean I have to break him of his car paci? And if so... GOSH DARN IT!! UGH! Barf! Poop on a stick!!!)

(I am trying to clean up my language since the kid is starting to repeat everything.)

(And sorry about all the parenthesis. I can't seem to stop.)

I was feeling pretty proud of myself for being a good wifey and mother and getting so much done... and now I'm just beat. Vacation wore me out!! Can't wait to share some pictures and stories with you... will do soon!

Land of 10,000 Lakes

It's absolutely beautiful here in Northern Minnesota. Gorgeous.




So while we've been up here relaxing I haven't been doing a bunch of blogging. Well, take that back, I've been mini-blogging over at www.grouchymuffin.com. Check it out- my crazy friend, The Cribkeeper, will have you in stitches, no doubt.

I have so so so many pictures and stories to share and I can't wait to! But first I'm gonna relax my now-five-pounds-heavier-from-all-the-beer-I've-been-drinking butt off and enjoy my family for a few more days.

I'm feeling relaxed and very, very blessed. And very happy that my hubby will take two weeks vacation and spend the entire time with my family!