Sometimes I'm Dumb

This past week, I've found myself thinking lots about things that are dumb. Things that only make me sad and aren't worth any time thinking about and yet I sometimes can't stop myself. And, then, I find myself semi-wallowing in self-pity (I say semi-wallowing because with a small child, I cannot enter into full-wallowing mode since it's not really OK to curl up in a ball on your couch for days in a row when you have to take care of another human). It's not pretty.

These things include, but are not limited to:
body image
feeling left-out, unwanted, unappreciated
wondering why everyone else is having so much more fun than I am

You know, really dumb stuff.

Last night it happened again... I was feeling pretty darn good after a date to Outback with my honey, and a stop afterwards at TuttiFrutti for some frozen yogurt that I've been OBSESSED with lately... and then I did a little perusing on good old Facebook. And then saw a little reminder that sometimes, people get together without me. (I know, criminal, right?!? How dare they? Yeah. I said I was dumb.)

It made me start longing for the days when I was free as a bird and was always out socializing, heck, WORK was social hour for me before I began staying home with Carson. I'm kind of a social person. (Probably why I share my life with all of you Internet people.) I loved that. I loved the feeling that I was very, very cool and lots of people wanted to hang out with me.

Now that I'm home with Carson... not so much. Things just change. People have to move on and do new things and I get it, and I accept it, but sometimes I just have a hard time with it. Being around people day in and day out led to impromptu get-togethers... now I have to take a much more aggressive role in getting out to socialize. It doesn't just happen without me pursuing play dates, or inviting people over for dinner, or going out to visit friends... it's just very, very different. And to be honest? I don't like this part of staying at home. Nope. Not so much.

After a little pity party, and yet another confession to my hubby that I am indeed, not perfect (like he needed me to tell him that) and I was a little... jealous.... he reminded me that I have nothing to be jealous of or sad about and that I have LOTS of great friends, even if I don't see them all as often as I used to. (I believe he actually just said: "JoDee. You know who your friends are." But I'm pretty sure that I elaborated on his idea the way he would have if he were more of a "talker.")

And not minutes after that, I got a call from one of my favorite friends ever, inviting me (with or without baby or husband- cause she's that awesome) to her house tonight for nachos and a movie! It perked me up right then... but it really perks me up now, this morning, when I've had a chance to sleep on it and realize that I am a very blessed woman. I'd like this feeling to stick around for a while... I mean, how long will it take before I truly get over the fact that my life is different with a baby? And mostly, different-GREAT! I love that little bugger. He's so bad, and yet so cute at the same time. Hopefully this little Internet confession will take me a step closer to being not-so-dumb anymore. That would be great.

(I've got some seriously cute Carson videos I'm going to post just as soon as I can get Sean to help me with a little editing... stay tuned for some adorableness!!)

Embrace the Camera: Beach Edition

Memorial Day weekend we went down the the beach house to spend a little time relaxing... it was so much fun! We did a little playing on the beach, some sunbathing, reading, card playing... it was a really nice weekend.

Here are a few pictures my Mother-in-law took when we brought Carson down to the beach to play. He loved the sand... the water? Well, those waves were rough, and he wasn't really into that (me either)!!

First Steps

It only took him about 16 months... but Carson finally took his first real steps!