We have a name!

On Christas Day, Sean and I (OK, actually Sean, because I was way too chicken) announced the name we chose for our son.   Sean's dad had the same initals... so we chose this name with his memory in mind.


 

Carson Lane Hale

What was the first response... "Carson Daley!"  (No.... Carson Hale, thank you for mentioning it though.)  We like it, and our families like it.  Hopefully he will too!



Today, I decided to get ready for the hospital.  Technically, we could go any day here, so I want to be prepared.  Plus, I'm getting pretty excited/nervous/totally freaked out and need something productive to do.  So, after church and bagels Mom and my sisters and I went to JCPenny to buy some hospital type things.  I got the least sexy nightgown EVER.  And, very probably, the same zipper-up robe as thousands of grandmothers around the US.  What's really funny about it... I love them!  They are super comfy and mommyish and I can't wait to wear them and hold my sweet little baby!!!

I also got some really practical cotton undies and socks as well as a nursing bra.  I also got Carson some cute little footed sleepers, socks, ands pants.  He'll be so handsome, I'm sure! 

On the way home I stopped at Target and got more practical items to pack in my hospital bag.  I picked up diapers and wipes and just about every travel sized toiletry in the store.  I now feel pretty good about this part of the journey, at least.  I may be in for some serious pain and gross experiences, but at least I have a mini travel tooth brush and a tiny deodorant to make things easier.

Happy Anniversary, Fatty!

Saturday was Sean and my third anniversary, but I would like to remind you that we have been a couple for a total of 11 years.  I hated when we got married after 8 years that suddenly those years didn't count any more.  Not all of those eight years were blissful pre-marriage dating with wild romance... they need to count.

That being said... we decided to go out to a nice dinner to celebrate.  Sean was getting dressed in the closet when I got out of the shower.  I proceeded to rub myself down with belly cream in front of the mirror and Sean sticks his head out of the closet and says, "So.... are you supposed to get a lot bigger than you are now?"

My reaction was something like this, "I don't blanking know!  Blank blank, Sean!  I've never done this before!  I know I'm blanking fat, I'm eight months pregnant, give me a blanking break, here!"

During my entire speech Sean is cracking up!  So, of course, I'm cracking up too!  It's a good thing we aren't technically newlyweds, because on our actual year three anniversary, I wouldn't have been able to handle him staring at my hugeness and wondering when his slender wife would return.  Now, I find it pretty comical.

Later, to redeem himself, he says to me, "I mean, I like you pregnant because my baby's in there, but I also like you not pregnant." 

I press him, because why not? "What does that mean Sean?" 

"Well..." he's realized he's trapped (I love the look on his face when he's realized there's no possible way to make what he's about to say sound good, you know, the OH SHIT look- cracks me up), so I help him out,

"You mean you'd like your skinny wife back?  And you'd like a little more action, right?"

"Yeah, pretty much." (More laughing.)

I didn't choose that time to remind him that we won't be having any action for at least six weeks after baby's born... it was our anniversary after all, I'll let him dream a little! Ha!

I don't need a camera cord?

While I was looking for my camera cord yesterday, Sean looked at me (with pity and disbelief) and said, "You don't need a camera cord.  Our computer has a card reader.  Just stick your card right in the top of the computer."

Ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.  Good to know.

So now some picture catch-up from this past month...

Snow in Katy, Texas!!

This is me and my student teacher, Alyce.  Look at those flakes coming down!

Two of my teammates, Emily and Sarah.  Aren't they cute?

The kids, needless to say, were totally crazy this day.  Some of them had never seen snow before so it was a pretty big deal.  It was really cool... the snow stuck on the ground for a few hours and it looked beautiful!  We let the kids stay out just long enough to come in fairly soaked!

My house!  With snow on the ground!

Baby Shower!

My mom and sisters and aunts all worked together to throw me my first baby shower.  The food was sooo good!  I only wish I could have had a mimosa too!

Here's my grandmother measuring my belly.  Trust me, it's much bigger than it looks in this picture!

Here's one (of about 50) of me opening a gift. I got so many really nice things!  And, my dutiful picture taker, Sean's cousin Lisa, took at least one for each gift I opened! This is one with a less dorky look on my face, in most of them I look like this...

The shower was so much fun!  I laughed when I saw the next picture, because it looks like everyone is having possibly the worst time ever. 

I promise it wasn't this boring! Ha!

Here's Sean's mom and my mom.  They are both so excited! 

Me and my grandmother.  She and Grandpa flew in all the way from Wisconsin and stayed with me for the week.  I wish Sean had been home because we all really missed him.  My dog was SO happy they were here- he loves how much they spoil him!

Here's me and my aunt Nina.  This picture is a good reminder that I should never have a full-body picture taken while pregnant, standing next to skinny people!  I look like a monster!

Here's me and my aunt Stephie.  She helped me so much over the week!  We had dinner at my house four times and she was right there in the kitchen with me each time- thank goodness!  I'm always a little too ambitious and stress myself out, so having her help was priceless!  Nina and Steph both flew in from Minnesota.  I wish they lived closer!

We went home and in an EXHAUSTED DAZE I watched my mom and Stephie set up the nursery.  I felt like I was going to cry I was so tired.  It had been such a long and busy week.  After I ate some dinner, I felt a little better, but WOAH was I tired.  So, I was totally useless while setting up the baby room, but my mom and aunt Stephie got it all done.  It was hard to get a good picture due to the angles in the room, but here are couple...

Like the nighstand? Ha!

Needless to say it's still in progress, but it's looking so cute already!  Sean has gone in about three times since he's been home just to take a look.  So cute!

Well, for now, that's about it.  I need to do a TON of Christmas prep this week.  And, coincidentally, Sean is out of town again!  I wonder if he planned to be gone hunting while I will be shopping for gifts, cleaning the house, and baking and prepping food for Christmas Day- when all our family and friends are coming over?  Hmmmm....

Quick Update

Appointment and ultrasound yesterday!  This little boy is doing great- at 32 weeks, he's about 4 lb. 3 oz.  That's the 40th percentile. (I didn't know what that meant... embarrassing.)  I had the kids in my class guess how much the baby weighed before I told them (thought it would be good for a laugh, it was).  One little girl said, after I told them how much he actually weighed, "I'm surprised he only weighs four pounds, because you eat A LOT!"  Ha!!!

Sean is currently off-shore and missed it, but honestly, the baby's getting so big it was hard to see anything.  Except his little package- he is certainly proud of it! 

Sean will be back Friday (late) and he leaves again on Sunday morning to go duck hunting until Wednesday.  He reminded me that he "did not think he'd be off-shore so close to this trip he planned"... well, it still stinks. 

I have LOTS of pictures and fun things to type about, but again, still looking for the cord for my camera.  Will (hopefully) find it and catch up over the weekend.

OH!  I almost forgot!  I lost a pound!  Probably not, actually, but at least that means I didn't gain any!  Whoo hoo!

After I have the baby...

I will lose all the weight I've gained, plus 5.
I will get facial liposuction.
I will work out more.
I will do crunches.
I will not eat sugar.
I will be bathing-suit ready by July.
I will get a tan (real or fake).
(I will try not to cry as I come to grips with reality. I can already hear all the moms laughing.)


For now, I will try not to look at any pictures of myself. It's like when you hear a recording of your voice and think, "do I really sound like that?" I look at a picture of myself and think, "do I really look like that? What the hell happened to me?" Pregnancy is beautiful- it's just not beautiful spread out all over my ass.


I am strong. I don't need the cheesecake. I don't need the pumpkin pie. I want the salad. I want the lean meat and skim milk. I want to exercise. I don't. Aww, shit.


On one hand, I want my body back and am ready to have the baby. On the other hand, I am freaked out about being a mom and what I'm actually going to be dealing with and I am not ready to have the baby. I also know that I sound like a huge baby and need to grow up. Why am I so pathetic? Why am I so obsessed with my pregnancy weight? And why do I share it so freely with the Internet world? (I start sweating when someone tells me in person that they read my blog. I immediately feel the need to apologize.)


BTW- in my haste to find the actual number of pounds I've gained, I messed up my mental math. I'm not up to 30 pounds yet, so far I've gained 25 pounds. I'm sure it'll be 30 by my next appointment. I needed to post that correction for very obvious reasons.


I read somewhere that you should take the pregnancy photos even if you don't think you want to, because someday you'll be happy you did. I disagree. Who wants to remember themselves when they were at their highest weight and lowest self-esteem? I think people are idiots.


I promise I'll stop bitching now. I'm even making myself nauseated.

(OK, completely unrelated... I changed my blog backgroud to the most boring ever because I keep having trouble with the formatting of my text. Was my background just uncompatible with blogger, or is blogger just really crappy? We shall see.)

(Also unrelated- I can't find the cord for my digital camera.  So... I  have lots of cute pictures to post and stories to tell, and can't.  Although I can't really use that as an excuse for this whiny post.)

Update

Oh my goodness! Thanks so much for all the advice and freebies... Kristin and Roni I'll be emailing you! :)

I had a massage today, and it was heaven. Heaven. I am so glad I went. I am pretty sure that my back will still bother me until after I deliver, but why not get the massage anyway? Plus I really love my massage lady... highly recommend Gaynell! She's at least 100 times better than any spa massage you'll ever get. Seriously- try her!

I will probably hold off on the pillow for now, and see if I can get by with my make-shift system. I would rather spend my money on something else... we'll see.

I went back to the doctor yesterday, and everything looks fine! I got checked for leaking again, this time it came back negative! My doctor basically told me she thinks I peed my pants on Monday, but I really don't think I did. I have a lot of experience peeing and I really don't think that was it. Oh well. As long as the boy is good, then I'm good. I guess I'd rather pee my pants everyday than have something happen to this little guy. That's so strange to say.

I also got to see a little glimpse of him since Dr. Levin did a short ultrasound to check my water level. He is definitely a boy! He was showing off his man business big time! I cracked up when she said, "There's his scrotum, and there's his hand!" Ha!!! He's playing with himself already! He was also head down and lots bigger than our 20 week ultrasound. He wouldn't really let us get a look at his face, so I'm looking forward to my next appointment when I'll have another ultrasound to check his weight and position. I can't believe how close we're getting to meeting him.

Sean's outside putting up Christmas lights, so I think I'll go check it out. I'm so excited!

A Scare and a Couple of Questions

Today I was walking around my classroom when I felt a sudden (and very gross) wet feeling. I decided to go to the bathroom to check it out, I mean I had just been there about 5 minutes ago, so why not go back?

What I saw freaked me out enough to think that maybe I was leaking amniotic fluid. But who knows, I mean, pregnancy has blessed me with lots of gross symptoms, so maybe this was just another one? I called the doctor's office and they had me come in for an exam.

The adorable doctor's assistant used a little strip to say whether or not I was leaking fluid... and it came back positive. YIKES! I was instantly freaking out, visions of bed rest over my favorite of favorite holiday seasons filling my head... but then Dr. Levin came to examine me and she said she really didn't think I was leaking fluid, but to make sure, she wanted me to come back and get checked again tomorrow. I think everything is OK. I am praying everything will be OK. This baby is just too little to come out yet. He needs to stay in the oven!!

To take my mind off of this scare I decided to make a pumpkin pie. I didn't get nearly enough last week and I thought I could use some more. Especially since they told me today that I don't have gestational diabetes. Free pass for more pie! (Did you know that it takes over an hour for it to bake, and then two hours for it to cool!!! BS! I am dying here!) I am anemic, however, and will begin taking iron supplements tomorrow.


Now, for a couple of questions for the moms out there...


1. What do I do about back pain?

I have been having lower back pain, and all-over back pain the past few days and I'm wondering if this is just to be expected, or if there's anything I can do about it. It's been really hard to get comfortable- especially at night. Which leads me to my next question,


2. Are body pillows a good investment?

I have been propping pillows around myself and between my knees for a while now, and it seems like one pillow is too small and the other is too big... they move around and I have to readjust them... so, do I buy the $50 body pillow or what? Does anyone have one, and is it worth it? If it will truly improve my sleeping the next couple of months, then it would be worth it.


And, to wrap this post up, I must tell you how goofy my stomach looks. It is not cute and round. It is like a torpedo projecting from my body. The biggest part is right below my belly button (which is huge and stretched out). I look huge. Pictures to come... I'm wearing a really ugly outfit right now, and cannot take a picture.

Oh, and I've gained 30 pounds. Yep.

Thankful

I can't believe how much can change in a year. Not even a year ago, Sean and I were trying to get pregnant and had no idea why it wasn't happening. I guess we had been trying for several months at that point, and I was getting pretty frustrated. Not long after I made that post (and after the urging of a friend who thought "something wasn't right"), I went to my new doctor, was diagnosed with a uterine fibroid, and had surgery.

And now, here I am, typing this while my unborn son wiggles all over in my belly. I've got a crib in the bedroom down the hall. Next month I'll be going to my very own baby shower. My son will be here in less than three months. I can't believe it. I am absolutely floored at how my prayers have been answered totally and completely.

With Thanksgiving next week, I know exactly how much I have to be thankful for. I am amazed. I can't wait to see what another year brings!

Top Ten Thoughts This Week

1. Acid Reflux
Sucks.

2. Breech baby?
I'm feeling lots of crazy-low movement. I think this little stinker is breech. I hope he moves... but on the other hand, I am totally freaked about pushing him out, so maybe a c-section wouldn't be so bad?

3. Did I just get hit on?
I met a very friendly dad at Open House the other night. It is very possible that he was interested in more than his child's progress in math class. But that can't be possible, right? I mean, I'm seven months pregnant!

4. My Dog is Horny
Jet had his way with a blanket yesterday. This poor dog needs a girlfriend. There's a really good chance that he'll be a daddy sometime next year... so cute little Jet puppies will be available! Let the line start here!

5. The Real Housewives
Holy crap- the OC wives are so hot! I'm so glad I live in Richmond, Texas and not Coto de Caza! I can't compete with that! Just thinking of how much time they must spend grooming each day exhausts me.

6. Organizing, is it worth it?
I decided to organize my recipes. I'm now thinking that this is way too big of a job and maybe I should just shove all this stuff in a box. These are also my feelings on scrap booking.

7. Should I be buying stuff?
I don't have any baby stuff. Should I be buying stuff, and what?!? This boy will be here in less than three months and I am not prepared.

8. I should live in Venezuela.
I had the sweetest mom tell me how she "knew I was expecting a boy, because I'm getting prettier and prettier!" Her son agreed. Ha! She said that "in her country, everyone knows if you're having a boy your skin looks amazing, and you glow!" I think I should live in her country. Or in Mexico City- because one of my brother-in-law's friends, Juan Pablo, said the same thing. I love it!

9. Tired and Mean.
I picked a stupid, ugly fight with Sean last night. I think I just got too tired and took it out on him. I feel terrible about it. I hope I'm not always this mean. I don't even know what to say now. It was that bad.

10. Holidays.
I love, love, love the holidays. But it's starting to become obvious that with my parents separated, things are going to be different this year. I'm OK with different, but I don't know if my whole family is OK yet. I'm a little nervous about what to expect.

Pregnant Rambling (That's right, I'll blame it on pregnancy as long as I can!)

I'm 29 almost 30 weeks... and so OK. I know I look pregnant at this point. But, really...

Girl 1: Mrs. Hale, your belly is so big!

Girl 2: Yes, you know, we were so worried about Mrs. Bass. (Mrs. Bass is also expecting)

Me: You were?

Girl 1: Yes! I mean, your belly went from here to here (imagine her showing about a 2 foot growth) and Mrs. Bass' belly only went from here to here (imagine her showing about a 2 in growth). Right now, you look like my mom did right before she had my little brother. (Reminder: I am not due until Feb. 8)

I say: Well, you don't need to worry, Mrs. Bass' baby is perfect, and everyone's belly looks different when they are pregnant, blah, blah, blah...

I'm thinking: WHAT?!? Seriously? Can I get a break?

(We actually ran into Mrs. Bass as the girls were telling me this, and we both had a good laugh! Mrs. Bass is a petite woman, and her belly has definitly grown more than two inches! I may still look huge... but I don't look like I'm about to give birth, right?)

Kids really have a way of keeping me humble.

So, Sean is away deer hunting and it's just me and Jet here at the house. It's a little lonely. Even though Sean just wants to watch football and surf the internet either on the laptop or his phone (he's not picky) I still like him here. You know, someone to talk at.

On another, much more fun note, I am getting so excited about the holidays!! I swear I may be one of the only adults in the world who thinks about Christmas and my heart skips a beat! I get butterflies when I think about Christmas lights and cookies and egg nog and ham and all the side dishes and chocolate and stockings and decorating!!! I love all the holiday parties and the dressing up and gift giving and getting! I love Christmas!! I also love Thanksgiving- I'm really looking forward to sweet potatoes and jalapeno corn casserole! And stuffing! And cranberries! And having three days off of school! I can't wait to start baking cookies. I already made 240 chocolate covered cherries last weekend. I loved every minute of it. I ate about 10. I have also been having my fair share of hot chocolate lately- the cooler weather begs for it! I will no doubt make some tonight.

And now I really have nothing of importance to say (and I'm not quite sure anything else I've written is all that important) and I'll be logging off. Maybe I'll come up with something interesting to talk about soon... probably not. I'm just totally consumed with being pregnant and all, so I'm getting totally boring.

Kids: Still Cracking Me Up

My belly hurts today. Too much ab stretching? Gas? Not sure.
I was groaning in class today and a kid asked if I was OK...


Me: Yeah, my belly just hurts a little today.

Kids: Maybe it's the baby!! Maybe he's kicking you really hard!

Me: No, I can tell when he's kicking. This is different.

A VERY concerned kid: Maybe he's BITING YOU!

Me: (chuckle) No, I don't think so.

Kids: Yeah! I bet he's biting you!

Me: Guys, he doesn't have any teeth. I'm sure he's NOT biting me. Let's move on.

Kid: Maybe you just need to go to the bathroom.


Awesome. I took the advice and felt a little better. HA!

Our Little Meatloaf

OK, I give in. Here is an official "belly picture." Today, I am 28 weeks. The first day of my third trimester. Time is flying! This picture is truly terrible... but honestly, I haven't taken a picture I don't hate in a few months. (Sean took our first real "belly picture" at 19 weeks. I hated it so much I threw the camera on the bed and told him he "chose the worst angle possible to take the picture." This is the first one we've taken since then. I look way worse in this one. I had Jet pose with me, cause he's cute.)




At school today, a little boy was telling me that his mom's expecting, and he's really excited! He said, "The baby used to be the size of a grain of rice, and now it's a peanut!" I start reminiscing about when the doctor told us our baby was the size of a grain of rice... and I say, "Time flies! Before you know it your baby is going to be as big as mine!" The little boy says, "Your baby's as big as a meatloaf!" He may be right! Ha!


This past Saturday, Sean's friend Matt brought over his brand new eight-week-old black lab puppy! I fell in love. I wanted to keep him. I thought this picture was funny- Jet was SO interested! He had to assert his dominance over this sweet little dog... and after he got in trouble, he just wanted to play. They also took a nap together. Oooooh! So cute!




I proceeded to hog the puppy for the rest of the visit. He was absolutely precious. I want one. I know I'm probably only saying this because I haven't had my baby yet... but I think puppies are cuter than babies. If I see someone with a puppy- I HAVE to go ask to hold it. If I see someone with a baby- I may say, "oh, how sweet!" but I don't HAVE to hold it. Puppies are irresistible.

Jet has been a "momma's boy" lately, as Sean would say. I love it. He's the sweetest dog. While we were attempting to take some pictures for a Christmas card, we snapped this one of Jet just being super cute. He was so patient. We made him pose in several different, annoying poses and he still loves me!

Our friends Barbara and Robert moved to our neighborhood recently and Sean has made a new buddy. This is Caroline- one of their super adorable twin girls. She seems to like him (not quite sure why :)) and he really loves her. Cracks me up how she'll just sit and watch football with him!

The last week or so I've started to get so tired. I have energy in the morning and after I eat lunch, I'm on a downward spiral until I fall asleep on the couch around 8:00. At the latest. I am pretty boring lately. Which is why I need to post a few pictures from my trip to Nac a few weekends ago. I think this was the last time I was interesting! I actually stayed out until 1:00 am! I have no idea how I did it.

This first one is of me and my friend Dawson, whose birthday we were celebrating. He wasn't embarrassed to dance with the only pregnant woman who was tacky enough to go to the bar. (Don't worry- Nac is smoke free now.)

Now here's one of me and Brandon- one of my sister's best friends. He graciously let us stay at his apartment and dealt beautifully with my bossiness (he started calling me "Mrs. Hale"). This is a fake wedding picture. Apparently, at one point, he thought we were going to get married. When he met my sister, he introduced himself as her "future brother-in-law." This cracks me up! We had to pose together, just for fun! Ha!

And, here's one of me, Jenni, and Brandon. Jenni is my little sister, but because she's taller than me, everyone thinks she's older. Some of her friends that I met that day were carefully asking questions to figure out whether I was her "just graduated from high school and pregnant" sister. Really! I told a couple of guys that I graduated in 2003... and they said, "from high school?" HA! I also got a few "pity looks" from people as we walked around campus. "That poor pregnant girl" "I wonder if she'll have to drop out of school?" "I wonder if the daddy is still in the picture?" It was pretty funny! I wanted to shout out, "I'm married and almost thirty! Stop feeling sorry for me!"

Another Kid Story...

My coworker and friend, Emily, had a small group of my students in her room the other day and asked them (because she's such a poop), "How is Mrs. Hale different now that she's pregnant?" Here's how they responded...

"She eats a lot of snacks."

"She eats her lunch at snack time now."

"Yeah, she ate a sandwich at 9:30 this morning."

Oh yes, it's all true. I'm always so hungry! Ahhh!

Love What Kids Say

Kids sure love someone pregnant. Everyday I get about 20 questions (18 of those repeated from the day before) about the baby and all things related to it.

"What are you going to name your baby?"
"Can you feel the baby move?"
"Does the baby pee inside you?"
"If the baby pees inside you, does it drink its own pee?"
"When will the baby be here?"
"Will you bring your baby to school?"
"Does it hurt when the baby kicks you?"
"Will you still be our teacher after you have your baby?"
"Can you feel the baby pass gas in your belly?" (My personal favorite.)


If I say I'm tired, a student will say, "Maybe it's because the baby is eating all your food."

If I drop something, a student will say, "It's the baby."

If I eat a piece of cake (happens more often than I'd like to admit), a student will say, "Your baby is going to be really sweet because of all the sugar you eat."

When I told my class the baby is a boy, all the boys shouted, "YESSSSS!" and either jumped out of their seats, or pumped their fists in the air. (Everything is a boy vs. girl contest in the fourth grade. The girls are always ahead, boys. Better to learn it now.)


My baby has already received pictures, letters, and one exceptionally sweet poem (which is now on my fridge).

The baby moving is always a popular topic of conversation...

Little girl: Mrs. Hale, can you feel the baby move?
Me: Yes.
Little girl: Can we feel it?
Me: Not yet, the baby's not big enough for you to feel it. (Lie. Do you want 20 pairs of grubby little hands all over your belly? Thought not.) He's still too little.
Little boy: He doesn't look that little to me.


My belly is another very popular subject...

Little girl 1: Mrs. Hale (slight pause) I don't know if this is appropriate or not, but (another pause) your belly sure is big.
Me: Really?
Little girl 1: Yeah, I mean, at the beginning of the year your belly was only a little big, and now it's huge.
Me: Wow, huge? (And was my belly already "a little big" at the beginning of the year?!)
Little girl 1: Yeah. Definitely.
Little girl 2: Yeah, Mrs. Hale. Isn't Mrs. Bass pregnant too?
Me: Yes. She is!
Little girl 2: Well, you're bigger than her.
(She's due two weeks after me.)

I guess there's no denying I'm looking pretty pregnant these days! My coworkers say how "cute" I look... the kids waste no time bringing me right back down to Earth! Honestly... I love it. I think it's so amazing that kids will say exactly what they're thinking. How can you not love that innocence? They'll be full of polite crap soon enough.

Venting, Apology in Advance

I'm really frustrated right now. First, Jet won't stop nudging me for pets, so typing is difficult. Second, I'm gaining weight at break-neck speed. Third, I think I'm starting to realize that I'm going to have to work after I have the baby.

Sean and I have been pretty relaxed about money the last couple of years. We've been what a friend calls "DINKs." Double income- no kids. And we've loved it. Now, with baby on the way (only 3 1/2 to 4 months to go) we have been "trying" to cut down on spending. We have been saving my entire paycheck- pretending that I'm not working. But that's not really getting us that much further ahead, because we never were really that great at saving- and didn't have to be because honestly, if we needed a large chunk of money for a big bill or something we'd just have to not spend a lot for a month or two, and we'd have it. We've been spoiled.

The upcoming bills are looming over my head now. Taxes (we don't do escrow), car insurance, income taxes (Sean refuses to change his w-2 and so we'll owe- again), Christmas gifts, hospital bills from birthing baby, baby stuff that we'll need, clothes for my rapidly growing ass, and all the little things you need each month, like, say food. Sean would also like to send Jet to a professional dog trainer for a few months right after the baby's born, and would like to continue his duck lease and all his hunting habits and hobbies which have taken him out of town the last three weekends. My hobbies have been long gone. It's been about 6 months since I've had my hair done, and about 8 since I've had a pedicure (can't count since I've had a manicure). I'd love a massage- my back is starting to bother me. I'd love to go shopping. I think I'll end up shopping for all the weddings and baby showers that are coming in my future... and pray that the jeans I squeezed into yesterday will stretch as well as my belly and I'll be able to wear them for a few more months. Right.

These things are all do-able on one income... on paper. What's happening off-paper that is messing it all up? Either we're "not really serious about it" as Sean says, or "we really can't do it" as I say.

If we're not serious about it, then LET'S GET SERIOUS! (I feel like I've been pretty serious, by the way. Giving up professional grooming is NOT something I take lightly.) I need to know if this can be done! This is not hypothetical anymore... we've got mere months before it's really, really real and I need to find mental peace with whether I'm staying home or working. If I'm working- I've got to find a day care. If I'm staying home I need to prepare a lot more at work than if I'm returning.

Work is another story. I'm so exhausted now, I don't know how I'll be able to balance being a new mom and a teacher. I know women who do it, but I honestly wonder if they feel fulfilled at either one. I got home at six both Wednesday and Thursday nights, and last night I got home at seven. This is doing the "normal" teacher stuff. I'm not staying late to prepare for my long term sub or anything... the thought of which is freaking me out (I hate sub planning). I can't do that when I have a baby. I don't want to be doing it now. Contract hours are from 8:00-4:00. I am not OK with staying hours after school each day, I'm not OK with taking lots of work home (you should see the stack of papers I've got to grade today), and I'm not OK with having morning meetings at least three days out of the week. But things keep getting piled on me from somewhere up above and I keep trying to dig my way out without looking like a loser while I'm at it.

Maybe I'll come to an epiphany today while cleaning my house, doing laundry, paying bills, and grading papers- all of which I must consider my new hobbies because I don't seem to do anything else. Well, besides cooking dinner, running errands, and working. I can't wait to see how I'll balance baby into the mix.

I am in need of some (cheap) fun. And an attitude adjustment. Seriously.

A Baby Boy!

Here's a picture of the little angel! We had our ultrasound appointment on Monday. We were both so nervous! It was such a big moment to see the baby whose little bitty feet have been kicking my belly the last couple of weeks! Of course we wanted to know right away if it was a boy or girl, but he had other plans! He was pretty uncooperative (a sign for my future?) but finally gave us the money shot, and made Sean a very happy daddy!


At one point, Sean asked the sonographer if the baby had two arms, because he couldn't see the other one... just as she moved the wand over to get a better picture of his little arm, he raised it right up and waved at us! Already a daddy's boy!

The day was going pretty great, until we talked to the doctor. Our little guy has (the medical term is long and completely scary, so I'll describe this in a much less scary way) a special little heart. As the doctor described it, one part of his heart appears white on the ultrasound. After many, many questions the basics of what I learned is that this is not completely uncommon. 10% of normal babies' hearts visualize this way on ultrasound (1 out of 10 equates to lots and lots of babies when you think about it) and about 50% of babies who have other heath issues (down syndrome, heart problems...) have hearts that visualize this way. Seeing this is in no way an indicator of one of those other issues, it just happens to be more common among those babies. This doesn't mean any future heart or health problems, in fact, they won't even check on it again. It will always appear this way via ultrasound, but won't be an issue for him. Dr. Levin said that she hesitates to tell parents about this, but is obligated to disclose this information to us. She said our risks for anything serious are very low, and she doesn't see any reason to worry.

That is way, way easier said than done. Sean did a little research (I know myself well enough to know that I should never, ever research any health related issues online) and I talked to my little sister who is also a sonographer, and we both keep getting the same answers: there is no reason to worry. This doesn't really mean anything, actually. If they saw other possible problems in addition to his special little heart then they would have said something, and they would have been concerned. This heart anomaly alone isn't an indicator of anything. It just makes him a little special. Like all the left-handers out there.

Everything else looks good. He's the right size, and has all his parts (including one little boy part). And that special little heart was beating away at 140 beats per minute- perfect! We saw his little arms and legs moving, and his little toes! I can't even think how small they must be! Oooooh!

The last couple of days have taught me how much I love this baby. My heart just aches when I think about how much I want him to be healthy and happy. Who wants their child to enter the world with even more challenges than they would have faced being just a "normal" kid? I feel like I'm constantly saying a little prayer for him. I'm constantly replaying all the conversations I've had with the doctor, with my sister, with Sean. I shouldn't worry. I know it. I'm feeling better about it every day (which is why I haven't posted sooner). I am trying to let go, and trust in God. Everything will be OK.


(Deep breath.)

Big Changes!

Kristin had her baby! A beautiful little baby GIRL!!! Ahhhh!!!! Check out her blog to see adorable pictures of little Karter Lynn (just click on Kristin's name above). What a beautiful baby and a beautiful mommy!


Today was my first day back to school after two days out sick. It's so hard to miss work, I swear. Catching up is ridiculous. I was staring at a huge stack of papers when a kid comes up to me and says, wide-eyed, "Mrs. Hale! You've got a TON of papers to grade!" Thanks, kid.

To make this a really interesting week, I have staff development off-campus tomorrow and won't be at school... again! So today after school, as I'm trying to pick up the pieces of my room and gather together some work to take home, I also have to write another day of sub plans.

This is such a pain in the ass, for several reasons, all of which make no sense unless you're a teacher. So, let me explain in another way. Let's say you're throwing a huge party, but suddenly you're sick and can't do it. Instead of cancelling the party, you have to write down every stupid detail and have your husband do it. Your husband sort-of remembers that you mentioned a party once, but doesn't know when or where it is. He has no idea who is coming, and has no idea what you've already taken hours to plan. You have to write it all out, minute by minute. Draw a diagram of where the tables should be, what food to put out, what drinks to serve (forget the fact that hubby has no idea how to actually make any of the recipes you've planned). Make sure you write down some ideas for how to deal with difficult Aunt Betty, who acts out and makes all the other guests upset. He's also going to need to know where all the supplies are- and when to hand out the party favors.

It is overwhelming to have to sit down and write out every forseeable detail of your work day for someone who has never set foot in your classroom before. So... as I am fluttering around my room gathering everything the sub will need and typing up all the details my mind wanders over to Kristin and her new baby and it hits me... my life is about to change big time.

In February (that's only 5 months away!) I won't be thinking about what's happening in my classroom. It will feel like a world away. All those little details that seem so important now that I would spend over an hour typing up for someone else won't seem important at all. I'm going to be balancing feedings, and sleep, and diaper changes into my life at home with Sean and Jet and will absolutely not be worried about work.

Wow. I can't wait!

Oh, shit. I just remembered a counselor lesson that's scheduled for tomorrow... better email a teammate so they can add it to my plans in the morning! Never ending, I swear...

OMG

(I hate using OMG, but really OMf-ingG!)

Current time- 1:30 am
Time of attempted bedtime- 9:30 pm

I love sleep. I usually have NO problem falling asleep- waking up is another story. Not tonight. And truly, I haven't had good sleep since Wednesday night- I've been sick and having a hell of a time sleeping. Tonight I feel like I'm having a full on panic attack. My heart is racing and I can't catch my breath. Nothing can distract me from this feeling, and although I'm tired, I absolutely, without a doubt, CAN NOT fall asleep. My nose has been half stuffed since Thursday night. I HATE it. Why does this happen? Why does one nostril have to be stuffed, while the other is totally fine? If one can be fine, both should be fine. I also have a constant throat tickle which makes me feel like I need to cough, but don't really need to. So I'm just wondering constantly if I should cough or not. How stupid! If only I could breathe through my NOSE maybe this wouldn't be a problem.

I've tried the following things:
Using the restroom.
Glass of water (then more trips to the restroom)
Tums (maybe it was just an upset stomach)
Hot tea with honey (and another restroom trip)
Crackers
A familiar movie that usually puts me right to sleep
A change of clothes
A walk around the house
Prayer. Lots of it.
Waking up hubby to see if he can calm me down. (What a DUMB idea.)
Relaxation breathing exercises and self-talk.
A cold wash cloth on my head (a ridiculous last ditch attempt)

I give up. I f-ing give up. I feel like I just drank an entire pot of coffee- but we know that I surely didn't because hello- 19 weeks pregnant. No coffee for me. What might work nicely is a little shot of something, a beer, glass of wine... but no to those. I could also stand a huge pain killer with a sleep aid. Anything to knock me out. Advil PM used to do the trick nicely. A couple of Benedryl sound great. (I know that I can probably take some of those things and the baby would be fine. But I don't want to risk anything. After being sick and feeling guilty for the last 5 days I don't want to take anything. I just want to sleep.) I feel like pulling my hair out. And now, you're reading the most boring blog post of all time.

A couple of reasons why I think I am panicking about sleep right now:

1. My mom had one miscarriage- in between me and my sister Jenni. She was around 20 weeks and had bronchitis. She was coughing so much her water broke and she lost the baby boy. Imagine what crosses my mind every time I cough.

2. As I'm watching TV before bed Sean randomly shouts at me to "Get ready for bed! How are you going to get well if you don't go to bed RIGHT NOW!?!!" Wanna put a little pressure on me, honey? Thanks. After 30 minutes of laying in bed freaking out- I get up and go in the living room. He busts out of the bedroom and shouts at me again, "You need to be sleeping!!! What are you thinking?" I don't know, Sean. I usually feel really sleepy after being harrassed about not sleeping. Geez.

I guess it's time to stop bitching. Maybe I'll go clean out the closet. On a side note- the entire time I've been typing this the baby has been moving around like crazy!! It keeps happening whenever Sean isn't around to feel it. While I LOVE to feel him/her moving- I can't help but think this is just the beginning of the baby's defiant nature. I beg him/her to move when Sean is sitting next to me- and NOTHING. As soon as Sean leaves the house, or falls asleep, or whatever... baby moves. It's like he's saying, "F-you, Mommy! I do what I want!" (No doubt this IS Sean's child.)

I need to sleep. OMG.

Pregnant and... SICK?!?!

A cold is no fun no matter who you are... but I know I must feel worse than everyone else out there!

Someone make me some tea!!!
I need some soup!!!
Fluff my pillow!
Take my temperature!!
Bring me some tissues!!!
Where's my blanket?!?!
Feel sorry for me!!!

I am the world's biggest baby when I'm sick... and it's only worse now that I'm pregnant! And Sean is out hunting ducks! Who is going to wait on me hand and foot?? Me. Poo.


(Truth be told, it's not really that bad. I feel crummy, but it is just a cold. I'll survive. I just need to whine to someone. Everyone.)

A Sign?

I think it's funny how things happen sometimes that make you ask, "God? Is that you??"

Yesterday I went to dinner at Los Cucos with some of my favorite girls in the whole world, and of course, I got there late (because I live closest to the restaurant, that's why). And, of course, I had to pee as soon as I got there (because Baby enjoys rolling around on my bladder).

I was enjoying the conversation between two very young sisters as I sat in my stall, you know how funny kids are! When I was finished washing my hands, the littler of the two came out of her stall and attempted to wash her hands. She was so obviously not going to reach the faucet, and before I knew it I had her hoisted up on my knee to wash her hands. That water was "too hot," so I scooted very awkwardly with her on my hip over to the adjacent sink to try again. That water was much better. We got some soap, and after she was satisfied, a towel.

After I put her down she looked up at me proudly, and very confidently said, "I'm four. I'm big now." I couldn't help but smile.


At first, I just thought, "I am such a teacher! I just picked up someone else's child without even thinking twice!" (Mental note: if I'm ever in that situation again, I should at least ask before just picking up an unknown child. Even if it is obvious that mom sent them to the restroom on their own. Do people usually do that?)

But, later that night it hit me. Maybe it's not just the teacher in me... maybe it was my inner mommy coming out early. Maybe it was God showing me that I'm ready.

I know it was so simple, but it came so naturally. And she was just so proud of herself. So cute. I guess maybe a few stretch marks won't be so bad.

Ah, Pregnancy!

I am so emotional. I started crying at work yesterday. I don't do that, people! That is crazy! I cried on the way home too, then I cried on the way there this morning, and I've cried twice since I've been home tonight.

There is no good reason for all this crying (even though it sounds like I really hate my job or something- I don't! I love it!). Blame it on pregnancy + Sean off-shore again. Grrrr.

Oh, and I probably pee about 20 times a day. This is something I expected, however, I honestly thought I must have had a UTI the other day when I felt like I was going to wet myself all day long. No one should have to pee that bad, constantly, for an entire day. Had to be a UTI. But, no. Just pregnant.

I also feel HUGE (I know, I have a long way to go. Just give me a break, please.). This belly is really growing fast these days. I always thought I would like having a belly and would think it was cute. HA! That sounds hilarious to me now. Like feeling fat?!? Like finding new fat deposits and wait... are those stretch marks on my ass?!?!?!?! AHHH!!!!! I don't like this at all!!! I've turned into a pretty big brat actually... I'm freaked out every morning when my normal clothes don't fit... hellooooo, self, you're 4 1/2 months pregnant, maybe it's time to stop trying to wear your normal clothes!? I also haven't taken a single belly picture. The idea makes me want to puke a little (I get the same feeling when I take my HUGE prenatal vitamins). Maybe I'll change my mind soon and go to one of those posh little photographers and have nude pictures taken when I'm eight months along. Maybe hubby can stand behind me and hold my boobs... HAHAHAhAAHAHAHahahAHAHAH! That's awesome. That is so never going to happen. (To those who do- nothing against it- just saying that it might be me in a nude picture makes me laugh!)

I'm such a brat, really. Listen to me. Can't I be more like my sweet, graceful friends who are always so sweet and so excited about being pregnant? No. I know myself well enough to know that freaking out is just what I do.

Am I alone on this? It seems like every pregnant woman/mother I know has only glowing, precious things to say about the whole experience. Wasn't anyone else completely freaked out?!?

I am finding it hard to be excited about the baby when I'm crying every other minute and finding new reasons why I'll never wear a bathing suit again. Soooo vain. Maybe when I feel the little poop kicking I'll stop focusing on those things, and start remembering that there will be a baby in just a few months! A little BOY if the at-home gender predictor test is right (ultrasound is the 28th!)! I thought I felt a little kicking a couple of days ago, but I haven't felt anything like it since, so I'm thinking it was probably just gas (which I have plenty of lately).

I've been a pretty bad blogger lately too. I usually have sooo much to say, but lately I've felt a little quiet. I think I'm actually embarrassed that I feel so strange instead of feeling fertile and beautiful. Yeah, I'm embarrassed. Moms aren't supposed to feel like this, are they?

One happy thing to add... I ordered a crib yesterday! I can't wait for it to come in! Sean made me promise I'd wait and let him put it together. Remind me to tell you about the desk I tried building... damn IKEA.

Back to Work!!

Today was my first day back to work. Summer is over.

PROS:
Hanging out with kids everyday.
Seeing my awesome teammates, who have become really great friends, everyday.
My partner, Beth!
I get to socialize by butt off everywhere I go! Workroom, hallway, front office...
Everyday is different.
Laughing- lots and lots of laughing!
Having fun sharing my pregnancy with lots of moms and moms-to-be (I work with about 80 women, and 2 men. I love it.).

CONS:
I have to wake up early again.
I have to pack lunches.
I have to grade papers (barf).
Before and after-school meetings (extra barf).
Endless emails and phone calls to respond to.
Hearing my name called about a billion times everyday.
Being really, really NEEDED at all times between 8:10-3:40.
Professional development classes.

Ugh.

OK, let me read those pros again...

A Few Things to Try

1. This AMAZING Mac & Cheese Recipe (click here!)



I have been a life-long lover of mac and cheese. The box variety was my first love, but as I got interested in cooking I learned how to make a pretty mean homemade version. I've since gotten it just right... and when you need something warm and gooey, nothing tops it.



This recipe is completely worth every penny (the cheeses get a little pricey) and every minute you spend tearing bread for the delicious, crusty topping. It's heaven on a plate.



I made it recently for a big family gathering (my brother requested mac and cheese, so I thought I'd try this "fancy" version since it was a special occasion). It was an instant family favorite. I will DEFINITELY make this again!




2. Barbeque Sauce on a Regular 'ol Sandwich




This idea comes from my coworker and friend, Emily. We had a team meeting last week, and she brought over some sandwich fixings for lunch. Next to the mayo and mustard was a bottle of barbeque sauce. She said she likes it on her sandwiches, so I gave it a go (I've seen her lovingly make school hamburgers look like a goumet meal, so I thought she might know what she's talking about).



It was incredible! I downed my sandwich, and had another one! The entire team was finished eating and I was making another sandwich!



She brought Sweet Baby Ray's sauce (SO on my grocery list) and Boar's Head meats (Em calls herself a "Boar's Head Purist"). I suggest the roast beef and turkey with white american cheese, lettuce, tomato, mayo, barbeque sauce, and pickles! AMAZING!





3. The Tudors



This series is not kid or family friendly. I would actually suggest watching this all by yourself as a guilty pleasure on a late night with a bowl of popcorn.



If you haven't heard of it, The Tudors is a Showtime series about Henry VIII, and all his wives. I've been facinated by the history of his reign ever since I caught a miniseries on PBS a couple of years ago. It's really a tumultous time in history, and this version is full of juiciness (by which I mean nudity, violence, greed, and just about everything you don't want your kids to see).



Not every episode is created equally, but all in all I've enjoyed watching both the first and second seasons. I get a little giddy when the Netflix envelope comes in the mail!

I'm Not Alone!

WOW! I just read all your comments on my last post! I knew that all men had to be big turds, but you all have made me laugh SO HARD over your slobby-husband stories! We are SO in the same boat! I feel much, much better knowing I'm not alone! Thank you!!!

As a little wrap-up to that post... that night I had a little discussion with Sean about "helping around the house." I didn't let him have it like you may think I did, but I did get my point across. After we finished dinner (which I made, naturally), I sweetly suggested that Sean finish unloading the dishwasher and then, maybe, he could start putting the dirty dishes in it. He was very sweet about it. He usually is, honestly. If I ask him to do something, he does it (however usually on his own, extremely slow, timeline).

As he was cheerfully unloading the dishwasher, he said: "Hey, look at me unloading the dishwasher! I haven't done this in a long time!" (Tone of genuine surprise, and pride at his helpfulness.)

I reply (in my head), "No shit, Sherlock. Who do you think has been doing it for the last couple of months? The dish fairy?" (Tone of extreme sarcasm.)

I reply (out loud), "Thanks for doing this, Sean. It's nice to clean up together since it's so much faster." Yes. I've learned long ago that the sarcastic comments don't really help my cause. Although, sometimes they are worth it.

Good luck with your slobby men!

Gripe Session

I need to vent.

I understand that everyone needs and deserves a couple of days to break down every once in a while. Sit around. Eat junk and not clean up after yourself. I totally get it. I need that too, and every once in a while, when I do choose to act like a lazy slob, I don't want to hear anything about it.

I also realize that I should be a whole lot less self-centered and should consider cleaning and keeping my home as something I do to show my husband how much I love him. I can hear the KSBJ mantra in the background now... something about serving God by serving my family even when I don't want to do it.

I also understand that when I am home on summer break, I should take on a little more. Why not? I'm home more, it just makes sense.


That being said...

I hate house cleaning. I especially hate house cleaning when I am the only one who does it. I can be just as messy as my dear husband, even more so as gross as that is to admit, but the difference between the two of us is that eventually, I actually do something about it. I will finally suck it up and vacuum the floors and clean the kitchen and bathrooms simply because it needs to be done. Not because I want to. Not because I consider this a hobby. And certainly not because I consider this to be more important than other things in life. It just has to be done. Same with laundry. I hate doing the laundry. I hate folding clothes and hate putting them away. But someone still has to do it if I want clean clothes to wear.

If hubby slacks off, I pick up the slack. If I slack off, the house gets grosser and grosser until I kick myself in the butt and say to myself, "You lazy slob. Turn off the TV and get your butt off of the couch and GO DO SOMETHING!"

Why does it have to be this way?

I don't expect star treatment, here. I don't expect to throw a fit and have my darling husband say, "Sweetheart! I can't believe how much I've hurt you by not lifting a finger to keep our home clean! Please, go sit your fat pregnant self down on the couch and let me take care of everything! You shouldn't have to lift a finger! Here's a milkshake, Pookie, you take it easy!"

I would simply like a little of this: "JoDee. You're grocery shopping. You're cooking for us nearly every day. You're cleaning up the kitchen. You're washing all the clothes. You're cleaning the bathrooms. You're vacuuming, sweeping, and mopping. You're running all the errands and keeping track of our finances and making sure the bills are paid on time. You're not working now, but honestly, you do all this while you're working too. You must feel lonely. I'm going to pitch in more often. This home belongs to us both, and you shouldn't be the only one who ever takes the initiative to keep it looking good and sanitary to live in. "

Honestly, I'm probably over exaggerating. I hate to hear myself like this. How pathetic.

I know Sean does things for me. I usually don't have so much to gripe about. I'm just having a really hard time today. Now you'll have to excuse me. I need to finish the laundry and run to the grocery store so we both have something decently healthy to eat for dinner tonight. There's also a shit-ton of dog hair on the floor that is making me sick to my stomach. Must vacuum.

I Called It!

I just have to say, "I was right!" Jillian did pick Ed!!! As I continued to watch The Bachelorette this summer, I liked it more and more! So fun! As I watched the finale, I realized that the two of them ACTUALLY love each other! You can see love ooozing out of their eyes when they look at each other- it's pretty darn adorable. I doubted that anyone could actually fall in love under those conditions, but I think they really did. (Tear!) Good Luck Jillian and Ed! May you get married and have lots of babies and live happily every after!

Knocked Up

That's right. I'm PREGNANT!!! My due date is February 8- I'm twelve weeks along! According to What to Expect, my uterus is now the size of a large grapefruit and the baby is three inches long- or the size of a peach, I may be feeling dizzy as my morning sickness starts to subside and my husband may be feeling left out of the experience. Ha! (You may be wondering how I managed not to blog about this for so long, but you may have also noticed that I haven't really blogged at all in the last couple of months... busy + a little nervous = a long wait to announce to the world.)

Our family and close friends have known for quite a while, and it was starting to get really hard for them to keep it quiet! People were spilling it all over the place (Beth) but it was time anyway! I feel really ready for the world to know!

So, let me answer the Most Frequently Asked Questions about my pregnancy:


1. How are you feeling?

Great! I'm feeling wonderful! I feel a little disbelief at how a baby is actually going to result from a blue plus sign on a plastic stick... I'm excited! So is Sean- he keeps giving me huge bear hugs!


2. Have you gotten morning sickness at all?

No, not really. I had a few moments in the first month or so that I would get a little queasy if I was getting too hungry, but after a little snack, I felt fine. The last week or two, that's been a total non issue. Now, when I get hungry, I MUST EAT NOW!!!! I get pretty freaking pissed off, or begin to cry, if I have to be hungry for longer than, say, 5 minutes.


3. Have you been tired?

Yes! Since it's been summer vacation for me, I have had the luxury of napping whenever I feel like it (usually after I wake up and take a walk) but the last few days of trainings and working in my classroom have worn me out! I hope I pick up a little energy as my second trimester is beginning now... fingers crossed!


4. Are you starting to show yet?

Well... Sean and I notice a belly for sure, but the general population would probably say, "No," I'm not really showing yet. My clothes are getting tight- that's for sure. None of my shorts will button. And that sucks in 105 degree weather. I am really wary of buying too many clothes right now, as I have no idea what I'll look like in the next couple of weeks. My plan is to wait until it's close to back to school (three weeks) and then I'll buy some things I can wear to work- since looking a little goofy in pants held together by a rubber band is much less socially acceptable at work than it is while lounging around my house and running to Randall's.


5. Are you hoping for a boy or a girl? Will you find out what it is before it's born?

We are hoping for either a boy or a girl- not both or a combination- as long as it's healthy- we're happy! We will DEFINITELY find out what it is as soon as possible! (Going to take the new pee test soon... had to wait because I was on progesterone due to my recent surgery- doctor says everything looked great, no scar tissue or anything, she just wanted to be on the safe side) I think that it will all feel much more real to me if we know, and can give him/her a name. I think Sean would like a baby boy, and I am feeling torn between the two... we'll be happy either way. What do I think it is? Have I been dreaming? Do I have a "feeling?" (Also much asked questions) I think it's a boy. I haven't been dreaming about boy babies, just think it is. Don't know why.

(On a side note: I think it's pretty funny when people get so passionate about what they think I'm having. It's a 50-50 chance. Your odds are pretty much set. Half of you will be right, and half will be wrong- despite your dreams and energy readings.)


And now, for the questions I have been asking for the last couple of months:

1. How am I going to keep myself from getting majorly fat?

This freaks me out. I KNOW, I KNOW, I'm pregnant and I'm going to gain weight. I'm perfectly happy gaining weight- that's not the same thing as getting FAT. You know what I mean- I don't want my ass to multiply and to have tree-trunk legs just because I have a baby belly. My plan? Try to eat as healthy as I can without being obsessive, and get exercise at least 5 days a week. Am I meeting these goals... almost. Will keep trying...


2. Why does Chick-fil-a taste like heaven?

Oh, Chick-fil-a, your chicken nuggets and chicken biscuits have me weak at the knees. I love you. I loooove you!!!! I've loved you since high school, but only now have I realized the deep, passionate infatuation I have for you! (Don't you feel left out chocolate, or pasta, or JUST ABOUT ANY FOOD PRODUCT OUT THERE! I love you all- just the smell of cheese melting, or the sight of some french fries on a McDonald's commercial get my head spinning. Food tastes so good. I love food. And, I'm supposed to try not to gain more than 25-30 pounds. This is torture.)


3. Is everything going to be OK?

Am I going to be a good mom? Will I make it through this pregnancy without any serious issues? How is our life going to change? I could just keep on going... it's all just so HUGE. This is a HUGE LIFE CHANGING EVENT! It's like looking forward to your wedding day. You know it's one of the biggest choices you're making in your life- and it's so HUGE- and when it's finally arrived- you can't believe it's actually here! That's how I feel right now. Am I actually pregnant? Is what I looked forward to for so long actually happening right now? We're really going to be parents? It's so unreal. It's also so amazing

After I took one test on my own that had the slightest little blue line you've ever seen (or did we imagine it?), we took this next test at three in the morning! We read that you should do it first thing in the morning... well I woke up at 3 and had to go! So, we decided to go for it right then. As you can see... pregnant!

My Opinions on Reality TV

It's summer vacation. It's hot as hell outside. I've been watching a lot (too much) of TV and have a little to say about some Reality TV shows. Let's get this out of the way... Reality TV is not "real." I'm not saying it is- and I don't care that it's not. For what it is... here's what I think:


The Bachelorette

Seriously, this show is such crap. It's completely ridiculous that anyone could really find the love of their life by being put in unrealistic dating situations with 20 completely self-absorbed (albeit good-looking) guys, interviewing them about how they "feel" about the bachelorette dozens of times before they even get to know her, and of course, making out with as many of them as possible per episode.

That said... I love this show! I love the stupid drama and the fake-realness of it. It cracks me up! I honestly don't think there is legitimate chemistry/feelings between Jillian or any of the guys on the show. Seems completely set up to me. I'm sad that she sent Tanner home. He was so amusing, with his foot fetish and all.

I'm going to make my prediction now. Jillian is going to pick... Ed! That's who I would pick anyway. He seems the most like a normal guy. I would have said for her to pick Kipton- but come on, Kipton? The name alone... plus- his family were so pretentious. Not the family I'd want to spend the rest of my Christmases with, ya know?


The Real Housewives of (Fill in City Here)

Awesome. I love, love, love The Housewives! Each city has it's mix of delectable drama that I just can't get enough of!!! The more outrageous the woman- the more I love her!

Who could tire of watching Alex and Simon's kids act like little assholes? Or, watching Vicki act like an attention starved five-year-old? What about Kelly's "conservative" Halloween costume? Teresa's table-flip? And how about finding out that NeNe's daddy wasn't really her daddy? (NeNe is Sean's grandmother's name, coincidentally.)

That's good TV, people. Keep it coming, Bravo, I salute you.


John and Kate Plus Eight

Of course divorce was inevitable! Did anyone else watch The Newlyweds? Being video-taped 24-7 makes husbands and wives hate each other- or is it the money that makes them turn into entitled, selfish versions of their once lovable selves?

Let's think about this for a minute... quit the show and work on your marriage, or divorce and continue with the show at the expense of your children's privacy?

I know, I know- I'm not there. I don't know what's really going on in the marriage. All I know is that it sure seems like a lot of married couples out there are turning into children, refusing to actually communicate, and are victims of " the grass is greener" syndrome. It's not people. The grass is NOT greener.


I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!

Please, I don't watch this. Even I have my limits. Heidi and Spencer? Who the hell are they?


Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood

Oh, Tori and Dean, how I love you!

I read her first book... very fun! She's just funny- and very, very relateable (aside from growing up with more money than I'd see in five lifetimes of being a teacher). You've got to hand it to her- she's a hard worker. As far as the "mom drama"- there's two sides to that story, but I won't read about the other one. It's messed up... let's move on tabloids.

If any TV couple ever reminded me of Sean and me, it's Tori and Dean (minus the previous marriages, affair, and two children). Tori and Dean are loving, goofy, slightly perverted, and funny- it's me and Sean! I'm neurotic and have a habit of sharing TMI with near strangers- like Tori, and Sean has obsessive hobbies- dog training and duck hunting- and is basically a big kid who is always ready to play- like Dean.

I love watching them. They are so cute! I will cry if they divorce. I was distressed with John and Kate, almost cried over Nick and Jessica, but I will totally sob if Tori and Dean split up.

My only question is this: what should Tori do when Liam throws his melt-down fits? I've heard of the "Terrible Twos" but I haven't heard what to do about them? Do you ignore? Do you spank? Do you time-out? Hmmm...


The Little Couple

Let's face it- little people are fascinating (case in point- 1/2 the shows on TLC are about babies/multiples and women who didn't know they were pregnant, the other half are about little people.). I've only seen one episode so far... but I've begun Tivo-ing and will definitely keep watching. Did you know that the little wife is a doctor in the NICU at Texas Children's Hospital? I am so impressed with that. First- I love anyone who wants to help babies survive and thrive. Second- I love anyone who can embrace their differences and push past a challenging circumstance in their life to reach a goal. Inspirational. Plus- she's adorable!


Eighteen Kids and Counting

Some may say that they can't stomach this family's wholesome values. I eat it up. I have watched every episode of this series (two times the episode where they welcome number eighteen), and it took me a while to realize what I like so much about it.

I love how happy they are. They aren't looking for anything. They're not trying to be anything other than who they are- and they're totally content with that. They don't judge anyone else- they just live their lives according to what they believe is best, and put all their trust in God.

I especially love mom- Michelle. Do you ever see her worrying about what she's going to wear to dinner? Have you ever seen her complain? About anything? This woman has been pregnant for years (not consecutively, but literally- years) and doesn't have a single negative thing to say about it. She continually serves God and her family and is totally happy doing just that. Even Sean (who can't help but watch some of "my shows" from time to time) says "she's an amazing woman."

I love they way they value their family- and especially- how Jim Bob (wow) and Michelle value their marriage. They are so kind and respectful of each other. I love how they treat each other, and how they speak about each other.

Some (OK, most) reality TV shows leave me feeling dumber for having watched it, but Eighteen Kids and Counting makes me feel like I've learned more about the kind of person I want to be. I have a lot of respect for this family.


I'm slightly embarrassed that this entire post is about Reality TV- and there are several shows that I watch that I haven't even touched (Dancing With the Stars, Big Brother, Project Runway...). You don't have to tell me... I know I'm a huge nerd.