I thought of you and I cried. I shouldn't have.I have to be strong.Promise me you too.

Facebook

Facebook makes things official.

It was like 'Siti and Abu are now friends'.
And then it's like yeah we are finally friends!

When you know a new friend, he/she will be like 'I will add u on FB!'
Again, and you explore them through FB.

And then when someone's status changed from Single to In a relationship,
It makes such a big chaos that people starts to stalk FB and try to find out who the other one is.

And so it happens too when my status turned Single.
It is official.
And by saying that I feel 10000 knives stabbing into my heart.
I am now officially single.

Thanks to all the people who cares, who didn't care about the reason you broke up,
because close friends would have known why, and those not so close friends don't have to know.
Afterall it's just a matter between the couple isn't it.

I know you guys care, for those that would have know and pretended that nothing happen, trying to talk to me.For those who have encouraged me, who gives me support without any questions.And for those who thought I am really brave to make this decision, I totally appreciate the understanding.

I guess we are still in love. It's just that it is hard to be together. I appreciate everything that he has done, and I am sorry to have to hurt him by ending it. It hurts me twice as much as I hurt him, and I am too weak to even look back now. I have to look forward, with all the strength I have left, and continue my journey without him.
There is no right and wrong. I know it is hard to try to get use to a life without each other after we have been together for almost 5 years, but time heals.

Just hoping one day, when we look back at this, we are all healed and strong, and we would just smile at the memories that we were innocently in love.

傻孩子．
忘了吧．所有你留恋的．你回忆的．你拥有过的．
那些．都已是记忆．
缺失并不可怕．
可怕的．是无法面对．



傻孩子．
勇敢看着镜子中的自己吧．
这个悲伤软弱满面憔悴的自己．
这也是你．成长中的你．
这个你．正在逐渐死去．
新的你．即将重生．
找寻你的路．你的未来．
你知道的．所有的浩劫．都是成长的祭奠．
做最好的自己．即使．一个人．



傻孩子．
你无法轻易忘记放弃．是因为你付出过．
付出了．她就会像柱子一样扎根在心．
不要刻意去逃避．刻意忘记．那只会让你更痛苦．
绕开这个柱子．寻找未来的幸福生活吧．
那里．有你的理想．



傻孩子．
开始新的习惯吧．
习惯．早上不再有人工闹铃．
习惯．每天一个人生活．
习惯．一个人过生日．一个人行走．
你逃不掉．逃不掉的．
那么．就勇敢面对．现实．
现实是．他已离开．一切．画上了句点．



傻孩子．
好．好．尽情发泄吧．
剥开自己的心．用文字．用声音．用所有能发泄的方式．
泄完了．就要振作．
看吧．你失去的．其实微不足道．
还有那么多人关心着你．以不同的方式．
所以．你并不孤独．
正是这样的失去．让你看清现在所拥有的幸福．



傻孩子．
别哭．别再哭．
不值得．真的．不值得了．
把过去尘封吧．别委屈．别不甘心．别不接受．
开始新的旅程吧．去遇见新的风景．新的际遇．
做你该做的事吧．有很多事．等待着你完成呢．



傻孩子．
所有的人都对你有信心．
所以．你也要充满信心．
你是坚强的．积极的．乐观的．洒脱的．
以前是．以后也会是．
总有一天．那个活力无穷傻气无尽的女金刚会复活．



傻孩子．
生活褪去了曾有的颜色．暂时宁静．
别沉沦在这片宁静里．那会毁掉你．
你要明白．虽然残忍．但这个决定．足够正确．
现在的生活．不是你想要的．
为了你的理想．你必须学会适时放弃．
给对方最好的关怀．就是．变的更好．更强大．更幸福．

送给天下所有的女孩

1.对于刚认识你没几天就叫你“宝贝”的人，当朋友可以，情侣就免了，你要知道，你没有什么特殊，他也一定这样称呼别的他感兴趣的女生.




2.對于喜歡你但沉迷于游戲當中的人，离开他，当普通朋友可以，情侣就免了，跟著他也不會有幸福的，天天罵架就有.



3.没有相处几天就向你提出“发生····”的人，离开他，这种人已经没救，他只需要一个女人.



4.不要找什么又帅又有钱的人做男朋友，除非你足够优秀，要不然你是拴不住他的，不要找你理想中的什么帅哥，为什么不把你身边知道珍惜你的他改变成你喜欢的风格~当然前提是他同意为你改变，那你是幸运的.



5.不要找一个只知道吃喝玩乐的人做男友，跟着他你会不知不觉的跟他一起堕落.



6.不要和别人攀比对象如何帅，如何有钱，那是他的，不是你的，应该重视男友对自己好不好，有没有得奖学金，关心他的素质.



7.对于总是盘问你家里经济情况的男友，最好问他一句“你是爱我呢，还是爱我爸妈？！”



8.对于一天一条信息都没有给你发的男友，离开他，相信你自己应该很清楚，你对他而言，可有可无.



9.不要无限制的让他花钱，爱情是2个人的事，他不是父母，没有义务抚养你.



10.在他朋友面前，装得乖乖的，给他面子，没人的时候在收拾他，男生也是，在女友朋友面前要百依百顺，记住，面子是互相给的.



11.对于没有理想，没有斗志的男人，再帅再有钱，那也是暂时的，只有真心对你，在心中发誓要让你比谁都幸福的男人，才会给你下半生的幸福~~



12.不要总在男友面前说别人男友多么有钱，你应该关心他的学习，关心他的理想.



13.不要因为寂寞而谈恋爱，要因为爱，而谈恋爱^^



14.不要在乎别人的过去，因为你要拥有的是他的以后.



15.总是忘记某些重要日子的男人，离开他，那不是忘记，而是不在乎.



16.虽说女生要有独立的经济能力，不能无限制的花男友的钱，但对于一毛不拔的男人，离开他，在某种心里科学上解释，“男人花钱的多少，和他爱这个女人的多少，是成正比的”~但记住，花不花是他的事，但要不要是你的事，爱他就得替他省钱.



17.甜言蜜语，偶尔听听可以，如果男友总说，请他停止。



18.记得对他微笑，难受抱着他哭，每天睡前说晚安，wanan ~~ w a n a n ~~我爱你，爱你！



19.无论你的他怎样糟糕，让自己不断魅力，即使不是为了他，也是为了自己.



20.不断给自己充电，学习，只有外表但没有内涵的女生仍然不是美的~要有养活自己的能力，靠男人养，无论他怎样爱你，终有一天你会抬不起头.



21.保持单纯的心，用心去谈恋爱，~珍爱自己~



22.不要总是让你的他等你，迟到不是你的特权，他爱你，而不是他怕你~



23.真心喜欢的人，努力付出，也许会失败，但至少努力过，不丢人.



24.不要把时间都放在恋爱上，给朋友和家人一些时间，身旁的过客不断更换，但唯有家人和朋友伴你一生，原谅你任何过错.



25.在网上认识的人，没有经过深入了解后，不要和他在一起， 不排除有时缘分就是这样安排，但请千万别草率.



26.真正喜欢你的男生喜欢看你的日志而多于看你的照片，他想了解你的内心多一些，而不仅仅是外表.



27.对于出轨的男人，如果真的离不开他，就给他一次机会，记住仅此一次，否则毫不犹豫离开他.



28.遇到好男人要敢于抓住，不要以后捶胸顿足说后悔.



29.不要玩弄别人感情，玩暧昧，每个人都不希望被玩弄，己所不欲，勿施于人~！或许你会明白！

IcandoitIcanstartmynewlifewithouthimIcandoit.

I can cope with my stress.

I can cope with my stress.

I can cope with my stress.

I wish by typing it for three times it will eventually be real.

Life hasn't been easy for me recently.

And whatever that happens,

I am grateful that you are always here with me

I love you babe <3

Apparently I left my blog empty for a few days. The blogaholic thing is not true.
I am freaking tired and exhausted now. Med Chem 3rd year is no joke man.
It seems like I did do a lot but I have so many things left undone. Perhaps I wasn't working hard enough.
Time is all taken up by the academic stress. And so I have no time left for any more arguments and unhappiness.
But when they popped up, everything became stagnant. Like I have to waste the last bit of energy after subtracting all other efforts I need for my normal academic and life, and then I will be left with no energy at all.
Can someone just spare me from all these, and leave me at least with some energy?

I don't know. Perhaps life is something I can't control. Feelings as well.

Gong the 1st weeks

I have been seriously keen on blogging these few days, I wonder why??

Maybe I am a blogaholic now..Let's see how long will it last :P

Or maybe I just couldn't resist when I saw blogger had updated their new post editor (didn't realise they change it till today, suppose it has been a while?), it is super fast and more convenient for me to blog now!

So after all those outdated post I am going to blog about my current life finally.

1st day back in Sydney, we booked airport pickup to go back to Wollongong

 

in a LIMOUSINE.

It's my second time in a Limo now.

 But I am still very excited because it is seriously more comfortable.

If you are thinking I am a bloody rich useless spoilt brat,

 you are right

WRONG!

It just happened that somebody before has booked a limo to the airport so we got to take the limo without paying extra lor..It all depends on luck kays..tsk tsk tsk..Don't be jealous.

On the lift down in my hostel one day. With the really CMI expression. My friends should know that I have been struggling very long between a Blackberry and an iPhone and obviously I chose the latter at the end because it is so much more worthy and much cheaper when I signed the plan as my mobile has failed badly on the third day I am back in Australia. Guess it is not very happy about me trying to look for a new phone so it broke down without a reason. WTH. Now it is lying sadly in my drawer.

Still living in the same unit as last year but I have changed from room C to room B as my old room is inhabited by my cutest Japanese friend Kai-chan. Same old quilt cover as well. I love my ikea quilt cover <3 I am hoping for a more girlish style but mum says I shouldn't buy any more as I already have 4 sets :( But they were like from 4 years ago! (Imagine mum says: 4 years still can use wert!) OK la OK la.

If you want to go Aussie, you have to have a pair of thongs. And then you wear whatever with thongs.

And so after 6 months in that freezing Germany wearing boots, I am happy to wear thongs everyday. Even with my favourite high-waisted skirt. Why not? We are in Australia, all laid back and casual :P

S invading my room and my lappie. After all those hassles and obstacles we finally upgraded our relationship from BFFs to LMs now. LM stands for Living Mate with my own definition as Unit Mate sounds too formal and Living Together Mate sounds so weird. I might come up with a better name sometime.

It was fun that we finally get to live together, well so far still fun for the 1st two weeks. LOL. Some people says when you start to live together there will be like heaps of problems and then the relationship will downgrade from BFFs to FBFFs [Fake BFFs = You both were too afraid to admit that you weren't BFFs anymore so both were acting so fake in front and were cursing each other behind the back] from Jo's Definition (JD) as well. Wow making up your own definition is so much fun. LOL.

But I guess there wouldn't be much of a problem for us to live together as we said in our House Rules Meeting today that if we have conflicts we would just bite or maybe bitch-slap each other. Yay! I am looking forward to conflicts now! (Forgive my sudden high spirit, I am in a super high spirit today which I don't know why)

Cooking is part of my daily routine now as I have to feed like six person at maximum capacity, my bros, bf and bro's gf. But I enjoyed cooking so far and I think I have improved compared to 3 years back. Those weren't pleasant memories but well everyone is still basically alive now so yeah, my cooking rocks!

Uni has been really busy for me this session although I just do three subjects. But all of them are of a higher credit points which means more effort to be put in. I have so many reports, scientific reviews and assignments write up and I have gotta do a lot of background reading and researching. I have got to write a 40 pages report on Gold complexes binding to quadruplex DNA to inhibit telomerase activity, and give a presentation about all the research and results that I have come up with. And this report 80% and presentation 20% is what I do for the whole subject! Hell and then I have to write a scientific review for Tamoxifen used in breast cancer treatment and presnet it as well. I already have like 30 journals to read now. Gosh I thought Science was about experimenting but now I have to read read and read! Hate reading :(

I am going to try my very best and be really hardworking (as if I will) because it is my 3rd year and it depends if I still can maintain my Distinction average to do Advanced course and my Honours next year. Hopefully I am more dedicated now!

Did my minnie mouse nails with S's nail polish yesterday night. I love bitches activity. Haven't been making up lately. Guess I am too laid back after coming back. At least my face gets to rest now.

Gotta turn in now.

Lights off.

Nights and sweet dreams J.

xx

The Singaland Stopover

Yes yes yes, it's only twelve days back home and I wanted a Stopover in Singapore on the way back to down under. It's not that I don't want to spend more time at home but basically I just have such a strong urge to go to Singapore. I dunno why so don't ask me.

The last time I went to Singapore was like 9 years ago during my primary school graduation trip == and I the remaining memories of Singapore were like Science Centers,Zoo, Snow World, Haw Pa Villa (closed down now ==). Get what I mean? It's like 20393 years ago and things that I used to like to do when I was 12. And Singapore has always sound really awesome to me, thanks to Max brainwashing me when he was in Wollongong 2 years back.

These are the new merlion now. Like everyone must take photo with these statues @ Orchard.
Now that I found my baggage, I get to wear my new clothes! High-waisted skirt rocks!


S and I with the naked couple @ Sentosa.


Ivan, S, me & Max-the-brainwasher with Merlion. Bloody tourists and a bloody local.


Groupie camwhore time!



Thought we would be too tall and blocked the merlion.


Obviously no..Have to pose kao kao..Oh ya, so I cut my fringe and permed my hair. I wanted like straight with only 1 curl at the end and it turns out like this. This is my 2nd time being cheated! But well I was not as angry as the 1st time (I cut my hair totally short after that) , I am trying really hard to try to deal with my hair now..It's like I have a bad hair day EVERYDAY.



Enough of Merlions? YES NOW YOU KNOW WE REALLY WENT TO SINGAPORE!
Not like we photoshopped ourselves into the Merlion pic or what. Welcome to the no-make-up close up pic of us, like after a zillion pictures with make up. I actually think we both are still extremely adorable without make up. BOO!


Damm China-ish. This anonymous passerby took such a bacd photo of this, like all tilted and pointless. At least my great skills have saved this photo.


Max paid for us to go for this LUGE ride. It's like riding a toy car downhill. Damm exciting lor! Must play! But 1st you have to go up the hill on this. It was really scary at first but I try to distract myself by talking so much. And then this girl behind us kept screaming and shouting, I am not gonna tell you her name except that it starts with S and ends with -hin.


But to play that exciting ride you first have to wear this retarded helmet. Anything that makes me look ugly is retarded. That's my definition. So if I have a super handsome bf and I look ugly beside him, he would be handsome but retarded. LOL.


We went over to this Hawker centre for more local food. Well can't say much about local food and Singaporean and Malaysian food are basically the same. But they taste really yummy! This is the Fried Hokkien Mee, looks a lot like our Fried Mee Rebus.


Oh-jian (Fried Oyster with eggs and something). Super loves. Seafood has always been my favourite despite the fact that I have high level of cholestrol now @@ I have to reduce my consumption but hell yeah, I don't care.


Not to mention marinated pork intestines and eggs. YUMM.

Supposed to go home for a quick shower.
And it took like 2 hours.
GIRLS.


Headed to Clarke Quay for some drinks. And went to this bar called Clinic.


They ordered some shots in the syringes. Hell expensive. But the taste is pretty good.


Blood transfusion. Super Yummy. Jo's recommendation :D and costs a lot too.


What else to do after some drinks? Check out on hot girls/guys, drink more or camwhore.





Moved to the next stop called A251, A521? A 215? No idea, something like this. A pretty nice bar with comfortable couch. And 1st thing to do was shots. @@ I drank so much that night seriously.


Met up with Chester too. Ex-colleague in Australia. And he proposes to me like everyday. LOL.


Tipsy tipsy S & J


And then trying to wake up.


The wedges are super hot to hold so we had to eat it this way.


Us again :D Going out with her is much more fun because both of us are very decisive, if we suggest something we would just do it without thinking that much. It is really sick to hang out with people that hesitate too much. Like when they finally make a decision to go somewhere or do something, the mood and time went all wrong. So why think so much, it is just about having fun!Be sporty and spontaneous is the key to fun :D


S, the bro & I


Next stop for some Shisha. Had my "Persian Tea". It was a really amazing night. Had so much fun with the old friends in Aussie. Great time catching up with them. Hopefully I will stopby Singapore again when I go back :)

Walked around orchard again the next day but I haven't got the picture yet. I am waiting for you Mr Nick.

Ending my post with my current FB profile picha.

TNY 2010!

I think I would be punished if I still don't update my blog and keep giving blank promises.
Therefore I am here to update about my short 12days at home for the Tiger New Year!

Well I basically spent my Reunion Dinner on the air plane, eating the flight meal :(
Then when I finally reached Penang Airport on the night of the 1st day of new year, I received a very big Angpao from the airline
YEAH MY BAGGAGE IS LOST!
Therefore I have been wearing my mum's clothes for CNY. LOL.

Sammy's farewell party straight after I reached Taiping..LOL this is the only photo taken.Didnt take with her also @@.


2nd day of CNY at uncle's house. My dear popo with all the granddaughters.


And Grandsons.


Then baby brought me out for a belated Valentine's dinner.


3rd day, HL reunion @ Skybar.


With meen...The true friend that wouldn't feel awkward after a year not keeping in touch.




Where is JAKE?!


Jurjur.


Crz


KXY and her golden tiger hanging..




Piaupiau


HL2 classmates.


4th day @ my house.


OBC winning a lot till he couldn't shut his wallet!




5th day @ claris' house with her sister's new baby maltese.




Then Rex Box at night..




6th day @ shin's house.


Me, Muthu and JJ.




He is my personal gambling advisor that would take all the risk if I lose.


And luckily I didn't.


Pin's contribution.


ALL FOR ME!!!!!!!!!

It was a very very short stay back at home and everything seems a little bit too rush.
I went around with mummy a lot to all the temples and pray for my luggage.
And then my luggage came back on the night before I flew back to aussie!
OMG thanks to all the god (if YOU are reading my blog) and Kuan yin ma..
I promised I would be vegan for a week and today is my last day!
I kept my promise!

:D

Anyways updates from down under:
I am officially unit mates with S now.
Which means 24/7 of Gossips and irritating shouting across the rooms and invasion of my room.

I hate u S.
:P