6 1/2 Years in the Making!!

So it was a regular Saturday morning in May and Jay was away on a business trip. Although it wasn't a totally regular morning. I was taking a pregnancy test. Why you may ask? Well let's go back a few weeks...






April was in full swing and the school year was starting to wind down. But for teachers it is one of the busiest times of the year. I actually had interviewed at another school district and contemplated leaving my current job. I ended up staying and I applied, interviewed and got a Peer Mentor position for next year. I was busy starting to pack up my classroom and get things ready for summer and finish up the year with my awesome kiddos!!






On the other side Jay and I had been looking at houses and actually had found one that was perfect for kiddos and taking Jay's sister in with us as we will start that transition within this next year. This was our dream house with a great guest room for my parents and it checked off all of our boxes for what we wanted in a house. We decided to put our current house up for sale and we basically packed up! My parents came up one weekend to help us and we tried our best to make our home look bigger and full of open space...it really just looks empty to me! :( But we put on our brave faces and moved forward with this decision!






I started noticing that I was getting pretty tired easily. I also was having some nausea in the morning during this time but I had been waking up pretty stuffed and thought I was just having some drainage. But that thought, "Maybe I'm pregnant?" started to creep up in my mind. I pushed it out just as quickly because I've done that many times throughout the last 6 1/2 years and I wasn't going to let myself believe such crazy things!






So April finished and May was upon us. We were consumed with keeping the house clean for showings and making sure Brutus was out of sight so that the house was open all day long. I continued to pack up my room and was looking forward to a relaxing summer. I noticed that I was even more tired than usual and almost fell asleep reading a book to the kiddos one day...no joke! I had forgotten my coffee that morning and again being tired at the end of the school year is normal. Once again that little thought, "Maybe I'm pregnant?" popped into my mind and started to be a little bit more persistent. "I just need to take a test and get it over with so I can move on!" I argued with myself. And then a great opportunity came up for me.






Jay was going to El Paso for a work trip the weekend after Mother's Day weekend. I figured it would be the perfect time to take the test, which would be negative anyway, then I could have my little sad day without anyone having to see me and go on with my life. I had done this many times before I didn't want Jay to have to deal with moody and sad Jennifer for a day! So I remained silent and told no one of my plans. Jay took off for his trip and I headed into the weekend...





It was Saturday May 17th (one month ago today!) and I took the test and set it on the counter. The directions say to give it 3 minutes and I always try not to look but I just wanted to see that negative sign so I could go back to bed and sleep! However I noticed that another sign had popped up and quite quickly...that little plus sign!!!!!!!!!!! I was in shock, disbelief, crying, laughing all in one. And the only one with me was our dog Brutus. I looked at him as he was watching me quite closely losing it in front of him and said, "I wish you could help me read this test but you're just a dog!!! I have no idea if I'm reading this thing correctly!?!?!" I continued to look at the directions and really examine the test to make sure I was seeing that plus sign correctly!!




Now I didn't want to go back to sleep and all I wanted was for Jay to be home! It was so hard to not call him and scream the news into the phone. But this was something I wasn't going to share over the phone, this was news to tell him in person so I could cry and laugh all over again! So I went about my regular Saturday visiting with friends and family as I had planned my day and really all I was thinking was about the test and wondering if it was right or wrong. I ended up buying two more tests Saturday evening, digital ones this time. I took one Saturday evening which came up with that word "pregnant" pretty quickly and the last one did the same thing Sunday morning. I was starting to be convinced that this was no mistake and in fact I was pregnant.




Jay came home earlier Sunday morning and was tired from the trip, the time difference and some drinking he had done with co-workers Saturday evening! I gave him a big hug and then told him to close his eyes and put his hands out. He later told me he thought I was putting keys in his hands to tell him we had sold the house while he was gone! But I set the test in his hand and told him to open his eyes. That moment will forever be frozen in time for me. To see him look at the test, register what it was and then look at me with all those same emotions I had felt only 24 hours earlier!! It was everything I always wanted and more to share that news with him!! The rest of the day was wonderful and we both couldn't stop smiling from ear to ear!! However there was still part of both of us that just couldn't fully believe something this wonderful since we've been down this road before...granted I had never had a positive home pregnancy test but we had definitely gotten our hopes up with IVF before. We agreed to keep silent and for me to try and get in to see my OB.


I called first thing Monday morning and they could see me that afternoon. I was feeling all sorts of emotions all day long and just couldn't focus on anything it seemed. The nurse practitioner said the urine test was positive and needed to feel my uterus. She said it seemed like I was about 6 weeks along but asked when I had my last period. Well for me I've never been regular due to my PCOS. I told her I thought I had bleed in February but really hadn't been keeping track and wasn't totally sure because we just had let go of the whole thing. She assured me it was no problem and told me we could do blood work or maybe even work me in for an ultrasound to see how far along I really was with this little miracle. The office had an ultrasound appointment and I headed back out to the waiting room with my head swimming. I called Jay and shared what had been going on and asked if he wanted me to reschedule so he could be with my for the first time. He was great and said that while he was sad to not be there, he wanted to know just as much as me exactly how far along I really was. So I waited and then they called me back.




I've been through this particular ultrasound many times with the IVF that we've been through. I actually can see my uterus and ovaries quite clearly and knew immediately that I wasn't imagining that little bean on the screen as soon as she started. I saw AND heard the heartbeat and was just caught up in awe and wonder at this little miracle that was actually and truly growing inside of me!! It was an unreal experience. I was snapped back to reality when the tech said, "Well you are farther along than 6 weeks my dear." "Huh?? What do you mean?" I asked her. "Well you are not 6 weeks. You are 8 weeks...8 weeks and 4 days to be exact." "Wait...8 weeks? Isn't that like 2 months??" I said maybe a little louder than I meant to. "Yep! You are a little over 2 months pregnant. And with a due date of December 25th!" Just amazing news to me!!!! I couldn't think of a better Christmas present for Jay and I and our family and all of our friends!! This was just incredible to me! The tech saw my face and asked if I was ok. I then told her that we had been trying for 6 1/2 years to get pregnant and had been through 2 rounds of IVF and that I was just absorbing everything that had happened since I had taken that first home test Saturday morning. I thought she would burst into tears!! After she left and I got dressed both the nurse, nurse practitioner and the ultrasound tech were waiting for me in the hallway. They all gave me hugs and had tears in their eyes and led me towards the checkout counter. It was a truly beautiful moment!




So that has been the news that has consumed our lives and our every waking moment for the last month! Telling our parents was an amazing moment in time and I will forever remember that day. Chatting with my brother, John, through Skype in California and sharing the news was equally thrilling! It has been so fun telling our family and close friends during the last few weeks. We are so excited to share the news because we have never felt alone during this 6 1/2 year journey! We have felt so loved and supported from everyone near and far! We have felt every prayer for us and have been touched by the cards, notes and even tears shared throughout everything! We feel so blessed and we thank God every day for this true miracle that he has given us! We are hopeful and faithful that all will continue to be well and that before 2014 ends our family will grow by one!!!


One little note...I have some fun pictures that I have been trying to put with this blog and everything keeps messing up when I try! I will step away and try again another day to share some images that have been created during this last month!! :)

Our Adoption Letter

So it's been way too long since I last posted...I think over a year! Yikes! Well to catch you all up (whoever may be reading this!)...Jay and I are taking our 30 hours of PS-MAPP classes in order to become foster and adoptive parents in the state of Arizona. We are doing the accelerated course of 6 Saturdays straight from 9am-4pm each week. My college-football-loving-husband has been so great about it and never complained once! Although he did say that since he would be missing college football he felt justified in buying the NFL Ticket through Direct TV so he could watch football on Sunday! Oh I love that man of mine!! :) Anywho, it's a long and involved process and (shocker!) I've had my fair share of tears and emotional moments. But we know the end result is well worth all of this and we are excited to be on the path and moving forward!! Our homework assignment for this week was to write a letter introducing ourselves to the birth/foster families. We were to tell about ourselves and share why we want to adopt. Jay and I worked on it together and I'm really proud of the finished product! I thought I'd share it with you all so you can see our reasons behind adoption as well! We can feel all of your love, support and prayers and we just can't thank you all enough! We are blessed beyond belief and our hearts are full!

Hi!

We are Jay & Jennifer Syler. We are so excited to have this opportunity to adopt a child and add to our family! We understand that this is a life-long commitment and it is not to be taken lightly. We know that you must be feeling unsure, a little worried and are probably even questioning who we are and why would we want to adopt a child. Well, we are happy to put your fears to rest and properly introduce ourselves and tell you all about the Syler home!

          Jay is originally from Ohio but fell in love with Arizona during a family trip and has lived in the valley since 1998. Jay graduated from Hillsdale University in 1996 with a degree in Art. Jennifer is a native Arizonan, growing up in the southern part of the state and attending college in the northern part. She graduated from Northern Arizona University in 2004 with a degree in elementary education and has lived in the valley since graduation. We met through E-Harmony in 2006 and were married in June of 2007 here in Phoenix, surrounded by our family and friends. We have made our home in northern Peoria, with our black Labrador, Brutus. We adopted Brutus in July of 2012 from a local rescue group and he has been a sweet although hairy addition to our family! Jennifer is in her tenth year of teaching and still enjoys her job with great pleasure. Jay works as the Registrar Coordinator for DeVry University and is constantly trying to challenge himself further. We are both dedicated employees who take pride and care with our careers.

          We have a very active life and our friends like to joke that they have to try and make plans with us months in advance! What can we say? We love seeing our family and friends and living life! Keeping that child-like wonder alive in our hearts, we are HUGE Disney fans and have dreamed of sharing the fun and magic of Disney with our children. We plan a family vacation for once a year, an important tradition that we have kept from our own childhoods. We also believe family to be important and we spend time with our extended family whenever the opportunity arises. We have been so fortunate to make a second family from our large and growing group of friends. This group is composed of friends from college, work and church that we see regularly for celebrations. Many of our friends have children ranging in age from new born to pre-teens and they are all excited to become “Aunts” and “Uncles” as we have been for their children.

We both are sports fans and have season tickets to cheer on the Arizona’s Diamond Backs! Jay enjoys playing Fantasy Football as well as cheering on his home team The Ohio State Buckeyes! We would love the opportunity to share our love of sports with our children and encourage them to play sports and be active if they so choose. We both were active during our school years with swimming, baseball, softball, volleyball as well as being in choir, band and drama. We would love to foster a love for sports and arts for our own child as they develop into their own person.

We also have our down time and enjoy relaxing as well. We are big movie goers and enjoy playing games of all types. We have been known to have some pretty fun family game nights and we are looking forward to sharing that fun and family togetherness time with our child too. We are active members in our church. Again, this is a tradition that we bring from our own childhoods that we wish to pass on to our children so that they can form friendships and bonds with other children their ago outside of school.

We have a safe and welcoming home in a very friendly neighborhood. We know our neighbors and feel blessed to call this place our home. We are aware that when a child is born an instant bond is made with the birth parents. We are not trying to replace that bond at all. Our hope is to form our own attachment with our child and share with them all of the love and happiness that we have in our hearts to give. We want our child to know their culture and to feel comfortable in their own skin. We know that our job as their parents is to encourage that journey of self-discovery and help them in any possible way, while giving them support, encouragement, guidelines and appropriate boundaries. We look forward to becoming parents and sharing our home and lives with a child whom we would adore endlessly. We want the chance and opportunity to make a difference in a child’s life and to be parents.

Thank you for taking the time to read our letter. Please feel free to contact us to discuss our adoption journey further.

                                                                   Sincerely,

                                                  Jay & Jennifer Syler  

Catching Up With Us...

So I looked over my last post and read that I would post pictures of my classroom as school was getting started! Ha!!! That obviously didn't happen. The school year started and I didn't have a moment to breath until Fall Break two weeks ago. And then I spent that week recuperating and before I knew it, it was time to head back to school. There have been things happening in our lives these past few months and I thought I would do a quick recap of each month for those that are reading!

July- My HCG levels continued to drop off after only one shot. I was monitored weekly until I was all the way back at 0. I had to stay in touch with the doctor's office because they did owe us some money back after everything was said and done. It was really strange for awhile not to have to drive and see them every other day or even every week. I really feel like Dr. Patel and his entire staff are great people and I would recommend them to any couple seeking help with infertility. :)

August- School started and this has been one of the roughest starts to a school year that I have had in my 9 years of teaching. The days leading up to the first day of school were spent in meetings with administration, instead of my classroom. It was really frustrating and I felt so unprepared as I never had before. But time ticked on and the first day of school was upon me. My class is great this year but they are challenging me like never before. I have a special friend this year that is diagnosed with Autism and he has probably taught me the most about myself as a teacher this year. The rest of the students are used to our friend and his outbursts (I'm talking kicking, screaming, random yelling, whining, rolling on the floor, random noises) by now and they just continue with whatever we're doing. However, they are really attention starved due to the amount of time this friend takes up. I've spoken about a one on one aide and unfortunately my requests are falling on deaf ears. So I'm doing the best I can with what I have. Our Resource/Special Education teacher is amazing and so is my team. However, each of us had a special friend placed in our rooms this year so it's been tough to try and help each other out, when we are sooooo drained from our class.

September- I finally felt like things were getting back on track and I started to get excited for Jay's upcoming 38th birthday. Back in July when things were pretty crappy I remembered the plan I wanted to do last year for his birthday but was unable to do it due to our first round of IVF. So I started planning in July and by September I was busting with excitement and trying to contain the secret. I bought tickets for us to fly to Cleveland and see a home baseball game of Jay's Cleveland Indians. I even called his boss and asked for a day off for him so we could fly out early Friday morning that weekend before his birthday. His mom helped me by using her Marriott points to get us a room at the downtown Marriott which was a five minute walk from the ballpark. Besides getting to see his Indians play, I wanted Jay to share memories of times he'd come with his father to that ballpark and show me around his ballpark! He got home from work and I had clues around the house. He finally figured out we were going to see the Indians but figured it would be in the Spring sometime. He really was surprised when I said that we were leaving the next morning!! It was exactly what I wanted to have happen. The trip was a huge success and I finally got to surprise the man who usually surprises me!! :)

October- Jay and I had planned on going to Vegas for a few days during my Fall Break to have a get away since we really didn't take a vacation this year. We had gotten some free rooms and thought it would be perfect. Then we started thinking about my Spring Break and decided to make plans to head back to Disney World (for fun, to see Jay's family who recently moved close to Orlando and to see my dear friend Beth, who is getting married in February and we won't be able to make the wedding). Once that decision was set Vegas didn't sound as inviting so we cancelled the trip and just had a week at home! We did do one night at Talking Stick Resort in Scottsdale and that was fun to get away for a night and have a couple's massage! It was fun to have the week together since Jay usually doesn't take time off when I have time off during the school year. He did have to go in for a job interview however with his current manager. DeVry wanted to change his job title and officially put him under the Registrar. However, they just posted a new job and wanted to see if he would apply if he was interested. His manager called him at home one morning and told him he needed to apply for the job and explained what the higher-ups were thinking. He had to submit his resume and application, had a phone interview with the main campus back east and had to go in on his week off for a 2 hour interview...huge waste of time! But in the end he got the job...title change...and even a 5 1/2% raise!! So we are thankful that things worked out the way they did and that he is employed!!! Fall Break was great but the two weeks following were crazy busy! I had conferences the first week back! They went really well and I so appreciated the parents taking the time to come and visit with me. It's nice to have parents that are involved and supportive of their child's education. This past week was Red Ribbon Week so there were fun dress-up days all week with our first ever Fall Festival on Friday night. I signed up for two sessions and worked all night and had a 14 hour day. I was exhausted by the time I dragged myself in the house Friday night!!

So that brings us to now! We are finding it hard to believe that November starts this week. Only two months left of 2012 and once again it's not ending the way we had hoped. My dear friend and close team member found out right before school that she was expecting. I was so happy for her because she and her husband had been trying for a year and a half. I would never wish fertility issues on anyone. I know the pain and don't want to see my friends go through that. She felt bad and said the timing was awful due to what we had just gone through but she also wanted me to know. I told her that the timing was just right for her and not to worry at all! It's been fun as she goes on this journey and I feel blessed that she wants to share with me. I reminded myself the sadness is for me, not her. Then as school started a fellow teacher seemed to be pregnant to me and I watched her cautiously over the first months of school. Then the news made it's way to me and I had been right. I'm beginning to think I have Preg-Dar and I can spot a pregnant woman from 5 weeks on!! Ha! Again I reminded myself the sadness is for me, not her. Then at the beginning of my Fall Break we went to a friend's housewarming party and I was expected some kind of announcement from her as well. The announcement came but not from her. Another friend that has been trying for a few months shared the good news. This was harder for me to digest though because I had been drinking and every other friend that has shared with me has done so privately. So it was quite the event with tears and hugs and I felt so uncomfortable. However, I really didn't have the tears to shed I found. The sadness was still there and once more I reminded myself that it's for me, not her. So once again I feel like the Lord is not so much testing my patience but reminding me to have patience. The wonderful Resource teacher from school shared a great book with me that I just started reading this weekend. It's written by a woman who struggled with infertility and loss of adoption but found strength from Hannah's story in the Bible. So far I feel like I could have written the book and it's been a great reminder that I'm not alone. There are sooooo many women dealing with this same heartbreak too and it's nice to have someone validate my thoughts and feelings but remind me to look to the Lord for my strength and comfort. At times recently I feel so out of place when my friends start talking about babies and mommy-hood. There is really only one close friend now that has yet to become a mother and she is actively trying. She was sharing with me the other day that she had a positive ovulation test and I couldn't help but have some feeling (a small feeling) of jealousy. Jealousy that her body was doing what it was supposed to do and mine still doesn't and hasn't since our last round of treatment. I feel like part of the background when baby talk starts and I have nothing to add, except what's I've heard my other friends say. I try to leave the conversation, not to be mean or cold, but I can't participate and that breaks my heart. It's hard to stand there and listen to all the excitement and be reminded of that pain. I am truly happy for those friends and it's not like I never want to hear about their news. It's just difficult at times for me. Maybe that makes me less understanding and I need to try harder, but for now that's where I'm at.

Hopefully I'll do better with keeping up on the blog. Sorry for such a long time inbetwen posts and for this post being so long! I congratulate you if you are still reading it at this point! I'll write again soon! :)