Sunday, September 18, 2011
there are two kinds of people. one who just wanna be nice without caring too much if the other party is nice or nasty. while the other kind is someone who waits for people to be nice. here's the thing: you don't have to wait for someone to be nice for you to be nice back. you won't lose anything for being nice first, right? or maybe i'm wrong. well, i don't know. different people have different thoughts and definitely a different level of ego.
as for me, i admit, i'm nice. but there's a limit. if i'm nice to you and you give me shit, i will turn nasty. of course if someone is nice to me, i will be nice too. but i can tell if someone is being fake or someone is really nice. now, that seems bad. when i know someone is faking it, sometimes, i just gave the whatever attitude while at times, i just curse, and keep cursing. i just don't get it why some people have to be fake in being nice, and worse i can see through you. where have sincerity gone to? did it die or something?
there are times when i tell myself, "i'm done being nice to people." if i get nasty treatment for being nice then why bother to be nice? it's not like i ask to be appreciated or i wanna earn credits for being nice to someone. but more like i'm just being me, being nice. i don't deserve nasty treatments in return. do i?
and no i'm not being emotionally pitiful here. it's just my thoughts. cos it's very sad to see the lack of nice people around you. i bitch, yes. when people don't know what's being reasonable means. but i know when to be nice. that's the most important.
written with love @
9/18/2011 09:39:00 PM
How do I make people understand what I'm thinking? Most of my friends thinks that I'm weird or crazy or whatever they want to call me just because they think I like a friend. I'm neither dumb nor stupid to actually like my own friend. Just because we are in the same group of friends, people will jump to the conclusion that, oh! that makes everyone friends. But somehow I think otherwise. I don't simply say that he/she is my friend just because i know his/her name. It takes time. We earn that friendship title, we don't just say it.
And back to the topic about me liking a friend. In the first place, I didn't say or admitted that the person is my friend. That person is not my friend just because that person is a friend of my friend. To me, it don't work that way. Now look. People's assumptions on this has make things look weird in other people's eyes. Oh, friends cannot like friends. Excuse me, I KNOW! And in the first place when I know that person, to me, it's just knowing that person. I wouldn't call that person a friend. I'm very straightforward. Either I like the person or be friends with that person.
I know where to draw the line. It's visible to me but not to other people.
So now, I'm neither here nor there.
I'm sad.
written with love @
5/09/2010 02:59:00 PM
Lies
I saw this youtube video on shaun's blog. I think it's a korean song and the title is LIES. There's some sort of a translated lyrics, kinda like the song and the lyrics is so meaningful.
So anyway, it's already very awkward that i'm actually blogging. I always try to make a point to blog but sometimes i'm just too lazy. I need to overcome this laziness syndrome thingy. It's kinda irritating at times, it makes me hate myself.
I'm into my 7th month of working now. How time flies. And it's March by the way. Oh! I send a message to bryan via facebook. It's kinda relieved to know that he's coping well with school and everything. Of course, it will be nice if he's still in Singapore. I miss him alot!
Weekends has always been about late nights. I need to cut down on that. Like seriously. But last weekend is by far, the best weekend i had since 2010. Saturday was spent KTV-ing with Noi, Sue and Faeza, my 3 lovely ladies! HAHA! And Sunday was spent with Qaz, Zulaw and Taarchew. The NATAZUQA <3 I really enjoyed the weekend!
So today work sucks as usual. I'm done.
written with love @
3/01/2010 08:39:00 PM
Sunday, February 14, 2010
To my Secret Clique:
Probably it was quite a short time to discover certain things. Haha. I don't know what. But it's been a great time getting together, revealing secrets and our slutty lives. I hope to meet up again! <3
To my Mary's:
Zul and Taariq, you guys has been the greatest friend. Thanks for being there for me all the time. I hope to hang out with you guys doing something decent, at least once. HAHA! Oh, I can't mention one name 'cos he will appear too many times. LOL! But anyway, thanks alot! <3
To my Buddies:
We were suppose to meet last November but it's February now. :( Please meet up soon!<3
And lastly....
To:
Nik, Trav, Xav, Don, Doey and Jason... you guys has been my comfort zone. Thanks for being nice to me, putting up with all my nonsense. LOL. It's been a great ending 2009 and a great start 2010 with you guys. <3
Yup, these are the people who have made 2009 a great year for me. Something that I will not and never will forget. I'd probably left out certain people. There's someone that I left out. Well, I can't really mention the name here. But whatever it is, you've been a great friend.<3
Here's wishing u guys (hope it's not too late) a great 2010! A year full with joy, laughter and LOVE! And that our Friendship will go a long way...!
With much love,
Na-Jip-Py
written with love @
2/14/2010 12:34:00 PM
Today I Pour Out My Heart
Phew!~
I thought Blogger died on me when i couldn't logged in. Thank God!
Anyway, I realised that each time when I'm blogging, I will always play the song over and over again. It seems to me the song gave me so much inspiration. And it's a chinese song by the way. Oh, I love chinese songs!
The last entry on 10th May was so yesterday. Seriously, I forgot what is it about. I think it's about ord-ing and stuff? Hmmmm.. that's the past.. move on!
Alot of people say that 2 years is very long but it seems so short to me. And yesterday i found the reason to it. "Time pass slowly for those who wait!" I guess that's why they felt it was very long? Hmmm.. Individuality..
The past months after ord was nothing but spending quality time with myself. And it was a good 2 months, really. I had time to celebrate friends birthday, buy them nice presents, have a good meal with them and obviously catching up! And not to forget my KL trip with 2 Besties! I guess spending 1K (RM.. hahahaha) wasn't a good idea BUT it was the company that matters.
And during that 2 months, I kept thinking of some friends. Sometimes I really wonder if they have changed or I really don't know them. It's sad, really sad. I believe every single one of my friends rule their lives differently, just like how I rule mine. And I see all of us like a country of our own. We meet, we discuss, we share, we exchange ideas, we go on war and we make peace. I think that's what friendship is all about.
I have a friend who yearn to fall in love just like any of us. She wants to love someone and be love in returned. And when she did one day, she died. No just kidding. I mean died in the epitome of love, in the eyes of her friends. All of her friends felt it. I do. 1 year, that took her so far away, in the ocean, lost and couldn't find her way back. I feel numb about our friendship, totally. Sometimes, I do pity her and I want to help but I just don't know how to. I know that no amount of help that I rendered to her will be of any help, probably encouragement will. But I've given her all that I have. I even gave my life vest, but she choose to drown herself, deep into the blue sea. I guess blinded by love have made her snap the thin line of friendship and relationship. I know in my heart, I'm not done with our friendship. Period.
I know someone about a year ago. I love, I hate and then love again and then, oh whatever. I don't know what feels next. Honestly, I don't. But I guess I found the answer. You see, I revolves around my friends and I guess that someone is no exception. Realised I said I revolves around my friends instead of my friends revolves around me? I know myself and asked myself if that's what I want, I told myself, I do. I guess venting my frustration on that someone proved to be a test of friendship. That level tolerance, I guess no one is up to it. And I know in my heart, that someone is a good friend. Really.
I've begun the journey of working life. And my adaptability level is still as high as ever. You see, I suck it up too much. I pushed myself to working long hours, and still have not reached its limit. I guess the limit does not exist. LOL!
But whatever it is, I'm happy!
And I miss my 2 Best Friend, my army buddies and the cliques!
I'm done for tonight.. toodles!~~
written with love @
8/17/2009 10:39:00 PM
Ending
Finally, everything is coming to an end. One side of me feels so happy to finally feel free again but the other side of me feels sad to leave those people who have created "life and laughter" during the past one and a half years. Some people spend their entire life counting down while others spend half their life looking for improvement.
Seriously, I don't know what life is suppose to be for the past 2 years. While I heard others spend their time outside, chionging like crazy, I see people waiting to be shot. HAHA. It's true how you see people in their comfort zone at all times, all day, everyday. But even so, they tried to escape. I guess they are just a replica of a sore loser, or maybe they are. Damn. I'm not suppose to discriminate other, but who cares?
Somehow I was glad that I've made my one and a half years useful in one way and my life fruitful in another. Some people do work to let it be seen and rewarded but I've seen people who does their work "quietly", rewarded or not, who cares? Truth is, I respect these people alot. They hate their jobs but still they do it sincerely. How many of them can you find? 1/10 maybe? These are the people who truely deserve an oustanding performance.
Some people have gone that far in life just to be hated. Damn, how sad that is? Your effort is recognised, you feel satisfied but when you look around you, it's empty. Tell me you are happy and i'll slap you awake.
Last Friday, we had a Farewell Function, organised by me. Truth is, I didn't want to do it. I told myself, what have they done to deserve a Farewell? But when i was finally woken up by the fact that it is a "Tradition" to have a Farewell Function, I told myself, "do it, do it for them." I hated it at first. Seriously, I love planning events and organising function. It's like taking photographs. I guess the feeling is the same. And so I took the first step, planned something. At that point, I don't have a committee, that's something very essential. So I just did the arrow. And glad that there are people who are willing to help. I know I don't have a strong committee so I have to work double the pace. The start was very smooth but not till the end. Honestly, I almost gave up the day before the Function. I was feeling tired, I've got no mood to carry on. That's when I told myself, just go with the flow. I went all out to make sure those who attend the function won't feel bored. Of course, I know what it's like to be in event and it's always a "rule" for the event manager to thank all the important people and people who have helped to make it a success. And i just feel satisfied when i get compliments after compliments.
Now, looking for my dream job...
written with love @
5/10/2009 01:21:00 PM
Lost In A World So Real And So Sincere
I don't know what to say...
And you got me realised how much we've drifted. It hurts alot. Come to think of it, why did we end up this way? I mean, am i too petty or is it just us? Maybe it's my fault. I guess i've changed.
I'm feeling numb. If i could have the courage to say i'm sorry, i will.
I miss our old days...
Platoon o.n.e.
City Alive
Amir and Helmie
Jason Lin
Shandy
Eddy
Dickson
written with love @
3/21/2009 11:54:00 PM
Sunday, February 22, 2009
| What is your True Fear? Your Result: Commitment Even though it may not always seem like it, deep down you are afraid of being committed to anything serious. You love the feeling of being carefree and not having anything tying you down. You're afraid that someone or something that may tie you down in life, will keep you from reaching other goals. You may also be afraid of getting hurt. You need to open yourself up more to possibilities and realize that sometimes it's good to be committed to something that you really care about. Just because you're an independent, free-spirited person doesn't mean that being committed to anything is going to change who you are. |
| Where Your life is Going | |
| Looked down on | |
| Losing Someone | |
| Death | |
| Disappointment | |
| Being Alone | |
http://www.gotoquiz.com/what_is_your_true_fear">What is your True Fear?
http://www.gotoquiz.com/">Quiz Created on GoToQuiz |
written with love @
2/22/2009 09:49:00 PM
First Time... Ranting!
OMG! I'm super tired. The past few days just sucks big time. I think i'm having insomnia again, can't sleep well. Sigh.
This week was party week almost every night. Haha!
Monday deployment was fun. I never enjoyed my deployment as much as i did on Monday. Okay, not a big deal. Hide and seek during deployment was err.. time consuming? lalalala~~ Nights out went to Sembawang Shopping Centre, quite a nice place but most of the shops aren't open yet. It's just been renovated, duh. Japanese desserts are darn sweet i tell you.. gosh! I could chop off my toe! Anyway supper at al-ameen was excellent, party at bunk was marvellous!
I'm typing as much as i could before my mind decides to die on me.
Tuesday was report sick day for me. My wisdom tooth was killing me badly. Waited for my turn was eon years but glad i was patient enough or else i could be the next Mr Bean. Decided to have it removed there and then. Didn't want to delay cos it was painful. MC was one day but who cares, i could sleep in bunk. Wednesday was off day but i left camp at 10pm on tuesday night, quite retarded.
Wednesday was stupid test day. Shan't talk about it. period. Oh ya! I missed lunch-ing at home and so i had lunch at home today! Home-cooked food is still the best. agree? Damn cookhouse food. Reached back camp at 2 plus to attend lesson, refresh my memory. I realised i forgot alot of stuff and test in 2 weeks. I need to study! Anyway.. (singing) there was one night, there was nights out. Supposedly to go town but the bus went slower than Liang Po Po. So whatever. Decided to alight at prata house instead. But i didn't eat prata, had craving for roti john instead. Walked over to Thomson Plaza for some shopping, where else? NTUC! End the day with, I can't sleep at night!
Thursday... err.. I can't remember anything for now. ZZzzz.... Oh! I only remembered RT. I'm not suppose to be in but decided to join in. Anyway, after last parade surfing internet in the office then to 7-11 then back to bunk for another party!
Today was office day the whole day for me. Had to finish up the works of others. Oh i'm so nice right. Bullshit! I guess another accomplishment.
some comments for the week. I think last parade is getting more and more annoying. Seeing some people is such an eyesore. And oh! Know what? Our wonderful 'silent killer' decided to do stunt! Print breakfast's slip to see those who never scan.. bah! My name appeared once, but i have a valid excused. Guess the verdict for the rest? Confinement till sunday morning eating COMBAT RATION! Ok.. that's not at all annoys me but i was really pissed at some people. I mean if you didn't scan, come on, just face up to it. Own up like a true man, just be honest. But guess what? Some people decided to go to underhand means by lying so that your reasons are valid and so you will be let off? And yes.. they were let off. Like wtf?! I think it's just bias. If everyone give the same reason, will you let the next person go as well. It's not that i'm being evil that they should get confine but you won't die being confined. This is pissing me off big time!
Okay. I shall not let myself feel so paranoid over this...
I miss someone badly! :)
written with love @
1/09/2009 07:40:00 PM
Happy 2009!
This post is especially dedicated to my Monkey partner, the younger sister of Jessica Alba, Fasya Alba. All this while i was quite sure that no one was reading my blog. But God, was i wrong? Yes i was! Oh damn. Anyway, since she was reading my "oh so wonderful life", i was over the moon. Hey! The younger sister of the famous actress is reading my blog. Won't you be happy? Well at least i'm pretty happy that i know of someone who reads my blog.
By the way, she feedback to me about posting emotional entries. But somehow it can't be help. When you are happy, some crude people will get jealous of you. And when you are sad, people will laugh at you.. I guess i'm being the latter. Well, cruelty of life, what can i say?
Oh! It's been so long is i last saw Fasya. I think the last time i saw her was when i was window shopping at Wisma Atria and at that time she was still with her ex-boyfriend. Now she's with another guy so i guess that's kinda long. I think she's the only among us now who's holding a stable job with good pay (expecting a treat soon). Even a Monkey can be Air-Stewardess. HAHA! Damn i really miss her. Hope to see her soon!
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On a side note, it's 2009! OMG! How time flies. And soon to come, ORD. I think i'm pretty dumb. I never learn to countdown and look at time. I prefer to just 'go with the flow' and when i start to get shag, i'll let go. I'm pretty sure of what kind of person i am. I prefer to just work and not think of anything. I guess that's the first fulfilment. And my ego is, walking out of place without gaining anything. I think there's always a reason to work hard.
2008 have taught me to be flexible in life. It does not matter what i do, where i am or who i'm working with. To me, what matters is, i learn how to be flexible. Some people say i'm workaholic, well some ignorant biatch will say i'm just wayang but do you think i give a damn about what people say? I've learned to ignore people's unjustified words, un-lawful comments and what not that their grandmother's daughter have taught them. I learned not to stop learning and i've learned to always give my truthful opinion. I've learned not to be afraid to speak up and i've learned to admit my own mistakes. I've always learned to forgive, and i've never learned what hatred means. I've learned that revenge will only get myself hurt and forgiveness is the best remedy. I've learned professionalism. It says that i should not mix 'work with personal life' and 'friends with colleagues'. I've learned alot on ethics, be it work or life. I've come this far in life and now is the time i realised that i've lived for myself. But what make things happen is the support and pillar of strength i get from the people around me. I've learned that selfishness only question my conscience. And well, other people always come before me. I don't mind not getting what i want, but if it makes another person happy to have it, i'll be more than just glad to let him enjoy the happiness. And then i'll go back to square one to earn my own happiness, even it means to be the last person, at least i know i put in my best effort to earn it.
Being 21 is such a wonderful age and i wish to be 21 even 10 or 20 years from now. I guess that's hopeless wish. Ha!
2009 will be faced with more challenges, more learning experience and most importantly, the never ending education about life. I've got no resolution to share for 2009. Well, i'm lying if i say i've absolutely none but i guess let my resolution be a mystery for now. There's alot that i wanna achieve, of which some are just useless. But i've always believe that "Nothing is Impossible". Don't worry, i'll get what i want, i'll do what i think is right and i'll achieve my dreams.
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On the different note, i think i've changed alot. Whether good or bad, you be the judge! I'm one who's not afraid to lose, so bring it on. I'm just being a Bitch if i carry on but i'll be a loser if i stopped. I'm not gonna mention names lest i get sued though i know they almost have nothing to their name. Well, i doubt they read my blog or probably people as dumb as D won't understand my Fucking English. Oh, i'm so good. Sorry but you are just good at nothing. Please note that all my ranting does not boils down to hatred, just unhappiness and probably just upset. Ok let's be true, i'm upset, moody and pms-ing. I can start scolding and make you look stupid. Nah! I'm not so cruel please. Let the truth be told, yes, i can't wait to ORD. I'm getting pissed from day to day, seeing some people and facing with their fucked up attitude. Living in the world of hypocrisy, i think these people don't need younger generation, the world might just suffer or die at their dirty hands. I'm talking about D and L. Frankly, i think they can just vanished from this earth. Well, everything comes with disappointmet, not that i'm disappointed that they are still alive but people whom i don't expect to be one of them is one of them. Seriously, what's the world coming to? And i'm talking about TW. Honestly, i don't care about D and L, they can just Fuck each other but TW? Damn! Totally disappointed! TW once said he don't like L but come on, even if you live in a world of hypocrisy, you don't have to go to such an extent. Now that i think again, you were just lying to me and R when you said that cos me and R share the same opinion and you didn't want to lose out. TW is one of those whom i trust apart from R. But now i have my doubts, at which i'm really confused about it. Give me some answers on what am i suppose to do. I miss the times when it was just me, R and TW spending time and going out together but now, it's been so long, damn! R apologised to me a couple of times saying that he was sorry for not spending time with his buddy, read: Me. I don't blamed him, seriously no. It's just that there are people around him which i'm not in favor of, read: D and L. I told R frankly that i was feeling lonely at times and i needed some company and somehow i'm glad that there people like Q, B, RL, and JA and etc. They are really very very nice people to hang out with. Now tell me what am i suppose to do?
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This is another long entry. Happy 2009 once again!
written with love @
1/04/2009 02:15:00 PM
Amir and Helmie
Jason Lin
Shandy
Eddy
Kim Khoon
Tze Wai
Ray
