SAW SUPERMAN RETURNS

Hello Everyone!!! Miss me?!

I'm in NYC right now and we saw SUPERMAN RETURNS last night! A full review will arrive shortly, most likely early next week after everyone's had a fair chance to see it
- I'd rather not ruin anything.

However, I will share a few quick things about the experience:

* One of the women we went to see it with met up with us as we were already standing in line. She saw all the geeky nerds in Superman t-shirts (atleast a dozen if not more, one including a homemade cape) and said, "Whoa....um, sorry guys...I-I just can't do this" and returned her ticket and went home. Hahahaha, awesome. And NO, I was NOT one of the nerds with a Superman T-Shirt on!!!! (TRex wouldn't let me be "that guy").

* Hey Maker - one dude came dressed as the Symbiote Spiderman!!! The costume was pretty damn impressive. I tried to get over to him to take pic, but no luck. Lots of high school kiddies were yelling, "Wrong movie, Loser!!!" But the joke was on them as the SPIDERMAN 3 Trailer came up shortly thereafter (looks cool!!).

* When I return, I'll write up a full review with smashes, praises and smashes.
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*and yes, I know about Futurama and Predator and more.... all will be addressed when I get back from vacation.

JIMSMASH VACATION

END OF SHOW/WEDDING TO ATTEND/VACATION TIME

JIMSMASH WILL BE INACTIVE FOR A WEEK.BUT DON'T CRY, JIMMY WILL BE BACK JULY 5TH!!
(and I may post during if I can)

SUPERSONIK MUSIK CLIPS FOR YOU

I have not 1, not 2, but 3 delightful video clips to show you today! And oh how magnificant they are! Click links to view!

"5...4....3....1 - Offblast!"

BILLY SQUIER - Rock Me Tonite
ELEKTRONIK SUPERSONIK - Zlad
CARL LEWIS - Break It Up

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*thanks, Ted & Lou!

TURKISH STAR WARS POSTER

And thus completes
the Trifeca of Turkish Postings.

**click on image to enlarge**

TURKISH STAR TREK ! ! !

In honor of Today's Villain, I thought I'd post about another Turkish classic: TURKISH STAR TREK! Oh man!!! This looks FAN-TAS-TIC!! I've had the (dis)pleasure of watching Turkish Star Wars; it is both abyssmal and genius; to watch it in one sitting is to go mad; it is the bastard sibling to the Star Wars Holiday Special. So I can only imagine what Turkish Star Trek is like! It could very well be one of the most brilliant sci-fi movies of all time. Or it could be the End of Days. I MUST GET A COPY!!!!

Read about it here.
and click here for previous JimSmash post about Turkish Star Wars.

VILLAIN OF THE DAY: TURKISH DARTH VADER !

Today's "Villain of the Day" is
TURKISH DARTH VADER !

"Disengage from your body;live only with your mind and soul.Only then, can you breathe underground."
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(watch some)

ACTION COMICS & SUPERMAN RETURNS (+BONUS)

This is kinda fun - In Superman Returns, Superman will pull an Action Comics #1 homage pose. Fun fact: Action Comics has been going strong since it's debut in 1938! It's now on issue #839! Awesome! If healthy sales continue (which I'm betting they will), Action Comics will hit issue #1000 in about 13 years (if I did my math correctly in me brain). As far as I know, no comic has been around as long as Action and #1000 will be a huge landmark! I can't wait!!!

Added bonus to this post: Click here to listen to the entire Superman Returns Soundtrack. It's a mix between the classic, brilliant John Williams score (which still gives me chills) and X-Men, with a touch of cheezie fantastical storybook music, ala Narnia. So bascially, the John Williams stuff is good, the rest is meh.

DETHKLOK METALOCALYPSE

Adult Swim is about to unleash a new cartoon called "METALOCALYPSE" in August.

"It's about a Norwegian heavy metal band called Dethklok. Although they rock to the top of the charts with gusto, they are also incredibly stupid and leave a path of destruction and mayhem behind wherever they tour."

James Hetfield and Kirk Hammett — along with members of Arch Enemy and Nevermore — have lent their voices to the cartoon.

Teaser here .
\m/

FUTURE WARFARE

Once we nail cloning down perfectly,
the future of warfare is going to be AWESOME!

BELATED POST: HAPPY FATHER'S DAY !

I was looking for another previous post and discovered my super geeky"Happy Father's Day" post from sunday DIDN'T show up! (Damn you Blogger!!). It makes sense now as I was curious why my inbox hadn't been filled with "you're-such-a-dork!" attacks! Anyway, here it is. I'm such a Dork.

PERSONALITY TEST

Found this Personality Test over at Casual Slack.

Apparently, I'm a "Generous Curator"

"You are straightforward and real, down-to-earth, and have a healthy respect for order and stability. These attributes, complemented by your desire to be surrounded by things of beauty, make you a CURATOR."

Take it now and share what you are!

HITLER OR COULTIER ?

Who said what?

Click here to take
the Quote Quiz:
Adolf Hitler or Anne Coultier?

I got 11/14.
That's scary.

AOL IS THE DEVIL

CNBC has a crazy clip showing an AOL customer trying to cancel his account, but a phone rep won't let him do it. In the end, it took 4 minutes of asinine frustation.

Oh man! I had a similar experience with cancelling my credit card. It wasn't as bad, but it did feel like I was breaking up with a girlfriend. They actually said, "Is it us? Did we doing anything wrong? What can we do to keep you?" Jesus, how about have some self-respect?

Anyway, here's the transcript:

CLOCK READOUT - 00:00
AOL REPRESENTATIVE: Hi this is John at AOL... how may I help you today?
VINCENT FERRARI: I wanted to cancel my account.
AOL: Sorry to hear that. Let's pull your account up here real quick. Can I have your name please?
VINCENT: Vincent Ferrari.
CLOCK READOUT - 00:30
AOL: You've had this account for a long time.
VINCENT: Yup.
AOL: Use this quite a bit. What was the cause of wanting to turn this off today?
VINCENT: I just don't use it anymore.
AOL: Do you have a high speed connection, like the DSL or cable?
VINCENT: Yup.
AOL: How long have you had that...
VINCENT: Years...
AOL: ...the high speed?
VINCENT: ...years.
AOL: Well, actually I'm showing a lot of usage on this account.
VINCENT: Yeah, a long time, a long time ago, not recently...
CLOCK READOUT - 01:47
AOL: Okay, I mean is there a problem with the software itself?
VINCENT: No. I just don't use it, I don't need it, I don't want it. I just don't need it anymore.
AOL: Okay. So when you use this... I mean, use the computer, I'm saying, is that for business or for... for school?
VINCENT: Dude, what difference does it make. I don't want the AOL account anymore. Can we please cancel it?
CLOCK READOUT - 02:21
AOL: Last year was 545, last month was 545 hours of usage...
VINCENT: I don't know how to make this any clearer, so I'm just gonna say it one last time. Cancel the account.
AOL: Well explain to me what's, why...
VINCENT: I'm not explaining anything to you. Cancel the account.
AOL: Well, what's the matter man? We're just, I'm just trying to help here.
VINCENT: You're not helping me. You're helping me...
AOL: I am trying to help.
VINCENT: Helping... listen, I called to cancel the account. Helping me would be canceling the account. Please help me and cancel the account.
AOL: No, it wouldn't actually...
VINCENT: Cancel my account...
AOL: Turning off your account...
VINCENT: ...cancel the account...
AOL: ...would be the worst thing that...
VINCENT: ...cancel the account.
CLOCK READOUT - 03:02
AOL: Okay, cause I'm just trying to figure out...
VINCENT: Cancel the account. I don't know how to make this any clearer for you. Cancel the account. When I say cancel the account, I don't mean help me figure out how to keep it, I mean cancel the account.
AOL: Well, I'm sorry, I don't know what anybody's done to you Vincent because all I'm...
VINCENT: Will you please cancel the account.
CLOCK READOUT - 03:32
AOL: Alright, some day when you calmed down you're gonna realize that all I was trying to do was help you... and it was actually in your best interest to listen to me.
VINCENT: Wonderful, Okay.
CLOCK READOUT - 03:39

"I've never ever experienced anything like that," said Ferrari. He recounts how the AOL representative - as a last resort even asked if his dad was home."I think I could've put up with everything, but at the point when he asked to speak to my father, I came very close to losing it at that point," said the 30-year-old Ferrari.Ferrari then posted the call online, and the response was tremendous.AOL sent him an apology and said the customer service rep was no longer with the company.

Source and video.

VILLAIN OF THE DAY: THE BEAST

Today's "Villain of the Day" is
THE BEAST!
(from Krull.... yes, THAT Krull)

Known only as the Beast.
A creature of immense power and evil.

He landed his black fortress, which moves to a new location each day, on the mostly peaceful planet of Krull. The Beast then unleashed his army of slayers. Even more diabolical, the Beast kidnapped Princess Lyssa (just as she is about to unite the kingdoms of Krull by marrying Prince Colwyn) and took her back to his Black Fortress to make her his beast bride!

Um, yeah. That's about it.
But he was cool when I was 7!!!!!!

PIRATES OF DARK WATER

Anyone remember the short-lived saturday morning cartoon

"PIRATES OF DARK WATER"?!

(does anyone remember saturday morning cartoons nowadays? sigh)

Anyway, PoDW was a pretty neat show in the early 90s. The show followed a group of adventurers on a quest to collect the 13 Treasures of Rule, which possessed the combined power to stop an evil substance known as "Dark Water" from consuming the alien world of Mer - basically black liquid overtaking all the water of the world.

The main character was REN, the prince of Ruined Octopon. He was raised by an aide to his real father, unaware of his true destiny and heritage. He wielded a broken sword of his father's. He also had a friend/companion named NIDDLER who was a monkey-bird. Cool. Only other characters I can recall were BLOTH (a big fat Pirate villain) and TULA (a sexy female pirate with spunk).
Unfortunately, after 21 episodes, the show was cancelled due to budgetary concerns, with only 8 of the 13 Treasures collected. With Pirates being so "hot" right now, you'd think someone would resurrect this bad boy.

GREEEEAAAT . . .

(article)

ASTONISHING X-MEN

ASTONISHING X-MEN kicks so much ass!

If you ever read the classic Claremont/Byrne X-Men stuff, then you'll love this book! The X-Men have sucked for the most part these last 15 years and its so refreshing to have an X-Book on the shelves again that I run to get gleefully like I used to as a kid! Click here to get the collected Astonishing X-Men!

Now, with that said, WTF is with the upcoming issue 17's cover? UGH!!!! Worst cover ever.
JIM SMASH!!

But seriously, despite that ONE bad cover, the comic ROCKS!
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OTHER RECOMMENDED X-MEN, IN ORDER:
X-Men Omnibus
Dark Phoenix Saga
Days of Future Past
Fall of the Mutants
X-Men Visionaries: Jim Lee
Mutant Genesis (Jim Lee again)
Fatal Attractions
Bloodties
Age of Apocalypse Books 1-4
New X-Men Hardcover Vol 1-3 (Grant Morrisson)
(Astonishing fits in here)
X-Men: Pheonix - Endsong

RECOMMENDED WOLVERINE, IN ORDER:
Best of Wolverine Vol 1 (includes Frank Miller's mini & Weapon X!!!)
Origin

HELP SAVE SCREECH'S HOUSE

Oh No! Screech's house is about to be yanked away from him!


Help Save Screech's House!!


Click here.

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN HITS 100

This September, Ultimate Spider-Man reaches it's 100th issue! Quite a landmark especially in Today's comicbook market. Ultimate Spider-man #1 launched in 2000. The reason for this new re-envisioning of the character was Marvel felt readers were being crushed by the weight of continuity/story history. So, they re-envisioned Spider-Man for new audiences; a book new readers could jump into without knowing decades of previous stories. Then they did it with X-Men... and then the Avengers.... and then Fantastic Four.

Ult Spiderman was pretty good the first 40 issues or so, I'll give them that (but again, it was jus rehasing the originals). But I always wondered why they just didn't put the talent onto the regular Spider-Man title and save IT from low sales? The rest of the Ultimate line, more or less, is garbage. If you're interested, email me and I'll give you some REAL comic recommendations, ok? Anway, the arrival of the "Ultimate Universe" (opposed the "Regular Marvel Universe") has splitthe comic book community to a degree. Which isn't a good thing since the Comic Community is pretty small. Now new readers don't buy the regular stuff. No, they now only buy the Ultimate books (which are only 4-5 titles). In the long run, this is bad for BOTH Universes, in my opinion.

I'm in the group that says the Ultimate stuff is bullshit. The stories are watered down rehashes of the originals AND the fantasitcal has been almost completely removed (um, then why read comics at all??). Also, for me, part of the appeal of Marvel comics was its lush history. I didn't need to know EVERYTHING that happened before. And if something was referenced that happened in an old issue, know what I'd do? I'd go to the comic store and BUY the damn thing! That was another appeal to "collecting" comics - you'd learn all this great history as you collected. It was fun! But no, now today's audiences don't want to learn stuff - they just want to be spoon fed immediately what they need to know with no surprises or mysteries. And with the Ultimate stuff, its grounded to Reality and not imaginative or fantastical . It's like bad television on the WB. Bah!!!! I guess it could've be worse - Marvel could have simply changed ALL their regular books into these. Now that would have been the end of me.

With Ult Spidey hitting #100, I can't help but wonder now what Marvel will do? I mean, for new readers, that's alot of issues and continuity to catch up on! What happens if/when Ult Spidey hits 200? or 300? Plus, like I said, the Ultimate books are rehashes of older Marvel stories. There's only so many you can do before you're just blatently copying the other. I guess they'll just relaunch another Universe, re-rehash stories and further split the comic community.......

Ok, I've stopped and reeled myself in from posting any further. This was SUPPOSED to be a short 4-5 sentence post. Sorry for the incoherent rant.

CARTOON BABES ?

Over at RetroJunk, they posted a silly list
"Top 10 Hottest Cartoon Women of the 80s".
Um, ok.

Going with them on this, their list made no sense. Click here to see their choices. April from Teeanage Mutant Ninja Turtles? The Goddess from He-Man? What?! I'm beginning to believe this list was made by girls and not by immature creepy men.

If you're going to step across that sad sad line, then do it right......

Like so!

(In No particular order, because that would be sad & pathetic)

BARONESS: The villainess in black leather.
PRINCESS DAPHNE: Ridiculous cheesecake.
CHEETARA: The sexy feline cat warrior.
JUDY JETSON: Your friend's hot older sister.
LEELA: The hot, er, cyclops.
JOSIE & THE PUSSCATS: Danderously close to fetish.
DAPHNE: The hot popular girl in your school.
BETTY & VERONICA: 'nuff said.
JASMINE: The exotic sultry type.
JESSICA RABBIT: Va-va-va-voom!

Ok, I feel gross. I'm outta here.

SUPER FRIENDS OFFICE SPACE

Speaking of Casual Slack, Jen posted this gem as well!

Click here to watch SUPER FRIENDS OFFICE SPACE!

Hilarious find, Jen!

FIRST DATE: ALIEN & PREDATOR

Casual Slack beat me to this!

D'oh!

Click here for Alien & Predator First Date, from Robot Chicken!

VILLAIN OF THE DAY: CALIBOS !

Today's "Villain of the Day" is
CALIBOS

(from Clash of the Titans)

Calibos, the son of Thetis patron goddess of the sea, was a handsome Young man destined to marry Princess Andromeda the daughter of Queen Cassiopeia thus one day becoming the eventual ruler of the rich city of Joppa and all of Phoenicia. However due to his mothers spoiling and indulgence of him since his birth, he committed unforgivable crimes in the eyes of Zeus the great god of Olympus. Zeus gave him the wells of the moon in his care but Calibos instead hunted trapped and killed every living creature including Zeus’ herd of sacred flying horses all except the one remaining horse Pegasus.

As punishment for his shameful mark of vile cruelty, Zeus transformed him into becoming abhorrent to human sight, becoming a mortal mockery and thus being shunned and forced to live as an outcast in the swamps and marshes. Horns sprouted from his head, a long tail was formed and one foot became cloven, attached to a goat like leg, and his face became more devil like.

"Does this toga make me look ugly?"

WE ALL SCREAM FOR STARSCREAM !

There are 2 cool Starscreams coming out soon! Takara's (left) looks freaking amazing!! Their Optimus Prime was incredible, so I'd really like to get this one! However, its a whopping $85... but totally worth it once you have it in your hands on it (based on the Prime figure).
I believe this is about 14-18" tall.

Now, Hasbro is also putting out a neat Starscream toy for only $15 (right). It's not nearly as cool, but still pretty sweet. And for $70 less, it may be the winner (or only choice once TRex reads this and finds out Takara's is 85-bucks!) Although, Christmas is just 6 months away! heheh I don't know how tall Hasbro's is going to be, though.

You can order each one here: Takara and Hasbro

CARBON FREEZE SEQUENCE

Click here to see the entire "Han Carbon Freeze Sequence" scene re-enacted by Kenner figures!

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*thanks, Melchy!

BRANDO LIVES !

Click here to see, more-or-less, how R&H (Rhythm & Hues) had Brando give new lines in Superman Returns.

Wow, it's just that easy! ;P

DARTH MR LEGS

I normally stay away from posting "Celebrity Sitings" on here, unless its truly noteworthy, or extremely geeky... like this one! Mr Legs just called me from NYC and he just ran into Emperor Palpatine! Eye-contact was made and unfortunately, Mr Legs was pulled farther into the Dark Side and has become Palpatine's new Sith Apprentice. Just when you think a fellow has gone as dark as one can go... hide your younglings and squirrels.

WEBSTOR & MINOTAURS

NECA and The Four Horsemen have announced some figures from Wave 4 of their Master Of The Universe Mini-Statue line (basically higher detailed figures). Snake-Face and Leech are 2 of the 4. But the cool thing is WEBSTOR is one of them!!! He was always one of the cooler HeMan figs. May have to pick this one up! Most likely they will be a Fall release.

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The Four Horsemen have also teamed up with five different partners in order to bring you some Minotaur goodness! Dunno what these are about (gaming? comic? cartoon?) but these are exactly the kind of figures I wanted as a kid! Thundercats had some cool elements to them, but come on....

All five of the Minotaur Soldiers exclusives will come with a removable helmet, a war hammer, a spear/halberd with a war banner attachment, and all five will feature the same impressive amount of articulation as their leader Xetheus - with the added bonus of an articulated jaw!
More Minotaur info here.

VILLAIN OF THE DAY: GRAND MOFF TARKIN !

Today's "Villain of the Day" is
GRAND MOFF TARKIN

Imperial Governor.
Grand Moff.
Recognizable Foul Stench.

Tarkin had a reputation as a brutal, cold, and ruthless officer dating to the earliest days of the Empire. A large group of protesters stood on a landing platform directly underneath his transport, protesting the Imperial taxation on the distant planet Ghorman. Tarkin ordered his ship to land anyway, crushing and killing hundreds of Imperial subjects. This incident became known as the "Ghorman Massacre." Rather than punish Tarkin, Emperor Palpatine made him the sector moff for Seswanna, where Eriadu was located. The massacre was the first manifestation of what became known as the Tarkin Doctrine, also known as the "doctrine of fear." Tarkin explained it simply: "Rule through the fear of force, rather than force itself."

The Tarkin Doctrine is a doctrine of state terrorism that its namesake engineered; he was originally responsible for suppressing treasonous activity against the Empire. Rather than spend large amounts of money and resources to bend all the worlds of the Empire to Palpatine's will, the Tarkin Doctrine instead centered around the use of massive displays of force that could be used to discourage and prevent any opposition. It also called for the creation of a superweapon to enforce Imperial order, the result of which was the Death Star. It is cold, efficient, and promotes a understanding of fear, proving to be more powerful than military power alone.

Although Tarkin was killed in the destruction of the first Death Star, the Tarkin Doctrine continued to influence the heartless rulers of the Empire. Palpatine was very attracted to its concepts, and it became the standard operating procedure for the Imperial Navy; among the many superweapons the Empire would develop can be counted the Tarkin battlestation, the Sun Crusher, the Galaxy Gun, and the World Devastators.

"Charming, to the last."

SUPERMAN VS CAPTAIN MARVEL

Do yourself a favor and click here to watch the coolest thing ever! It's a clip from Justice League Unlimited in which Superman and Captain Marvel fight it out.

FREAKIN'
AWESOME!!

Oh man! Imagine this in a live-action movie?
THIS is what superhero movies should be like!!

BIANCHI BATMAN

* click on image to enlarge *

Dig these paintings of Batman by newcomer (to America) Italian comic artist SIMONE BIANCHI! His style is really cool; part Giger, part Moebius, part 70's Heavy Metal Magazine....

I wouldn't mind seeing this version of Batman in the live action films - nice blend of realistic and the comic look/fantastical.

Bianchi also did the 4-issue mini-series "Seven Soldiers: Shining Knight", written by one of my favorite comic writers, Grant Morrison. Click here to dig more of his work. This one's rad, too!

NEW ALIENS ARCADE ! !

Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!

GLOBAL VR is going to release a new coin-op video game based upon ALIENS!!! And not just any arcade game, but a SHOOTER GAME!!!!!
I MUST PLAY and I MUST HAVE!!!

The game "takes place after Ripley and the surviving Colonial Marines leave planet LV-426. A mop-up operation headed by the colonial marines returns to the planet to finish off the Alien population that ravaged their troops years before. In the game the players take control of one of the best weapons in the Colonial Marine arsenal the M41A 10mm Pulse Rifle, over and under, with a 30mm grenade launcher."

I'll post pics whenever I find em!

ONCE AGAIN, WORKING SATURDAY

Source

NEVERENDING STORY VAN

Gayest Van ever.

Click here for more.


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*thanks, Melchy!

COLBERT REPORT: WESTMORELAND

Hahahaha!!

Click here to see a great clip from The Colbert Report where he interviews Congressman Lynn Westmoreland!

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*thanks, Jason!

DOUCHE-UPS !

All that douche talk yesteday has inspired me posting this tasteless clip.

ENJOY!!!

VILLAIN OF THE DAY: VIZZINI

Today's Inconceivable "Villain of the Day" is
VIZZINI

(from Princess Bride!)

"Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha... *ack!*"

Read the entire classic brilliant scene here.

MILANOS ARE YUMMY

MILANO cookies are the bomb.

That is all.

JESUS: ART CRITIC SUPA'STAR

In honor of everyone going off on Muslims being offended by the Muhammad cartoons, here is "Jesus Rates Your Art!!"

AQUAMAN VS HOLLYWOOD

Man, AQUAMAN gets NO Respect at all! I blame the Superfriends TV show for that. He's actually a really cool character..... when done right, which is rare. Anywho, here's a humorous cartoon strip ragging on Aquaman and Hollywood Studio Yahoos.

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*thanks, Maker!

SEVEN SAMURAI - NEW DVD

SWEET!!
Seven Samurai is getting a nice 3-Disc DVD release in september!

Seven Samurai is one of those films that almost every other film rips off. It's kind of like the original Godfather. Once you see it, you instantly see it's influence on all future filmmakers.

"One of the most beloved movie epics of all time, Akira Kurosawa's Seven Samurai tells the story of a sixteenth-century village whose desperate inhabits hire the eponymous warriors to protect them from invading bandits. This three-hour ride - featuring legendary actors Toshiro Mifune and Takashi Shimura - seamlessly weaves philosophy and entertainment, delicate human emotions and relentless action into a rich, evocative, and unforgettable tale of courage and hope."

If you haven't seen it, then get to it and rent it this weekend!!

TWO-FACE & JOKER CASTING?

Batman-On-Film has new rumors about casting for Harvey Dent and the Joker, claiming that John Cusack is up for the role of the doomed district attorney, while cable channel G4 ran a crawl across the screen saying former Pee Wee Herman actor Paul Reubens would become the Clown Prince of Crime.

Jim Smash, yadda-yadda-yadda...
(more for the John Cusack pic than anything)

Previous JimSmash Batman 2 Casting rumors here.