NO GOOD WAY TO DO IT

Within the next 12 hours..... we will experience lay-offs at my church. Maybe as many as 8 people. We have known for weeks that it was coming. Many of us worry how it will affect our jobs. Will we be fired? Will our friends be fired? Will we be the ones making the phone calls of relief or will we be passing on uncertainity to our families.

I have total peace about it..... I think. The "I think" comes because it is 1am and I am at my computer writing a blog. And I don't have peace because I have any idea what will happen to my job. I wonder what will I say...if its me. What will I say...if its not. When you lose your job at a business....you leave. I'm pretty sure if I got fired from FedEx, that I would use UPS on a regular basis. Fired from Taco Bell? I would eat at McDonalds. Simple. But working at a church is so different. You are paid to use your gifts. You are paid to be passionate. It is not simple to go somewhere else. This is not just a job...it is your family.

I am just thinking about every person on our staff tonight. How they have sacrificed their hearts for the ministry. How they have worked way more hours than they have been paid for. How they have done all of this for their love of God and their love of others. I am thinking how no one goes into the ministry for money. It is all from the heart.

I know God has something new for all of us because it will affect all of us. It is His church....His people...He will accomplish what needs to be accomplished and can use anyone to do it.

I FEEL LOST Part 2

I think I reached an all time low on Friday. I was trying to get to Henri's downtown. I hate downtown so much. I had directions but there was some construction going on so I very quickly doubted the directions. I thought I missed my turn so I tried to turn around which took me the completely wrong direction as in I was at the river. Long story short, I finally saw Henri's and then thought well I just go up here go around the block and park. Nope... one street after another....no turns...no turns....no left turns.... Who decided you can't turn anywhere downtown. Then before me I see a bridge. I don't know much but I know I don't want to go over the bridge, so finally a right turn available into a weird street with a railroad track, a bus lane, and a tiny lane to the left. I have no idea where i'm suppose to be driving. At this point, I just pulled over and wanted to go home. But realized i would never make it.

So, when I finally made it to Henri's, 30 minutes later, I got in the parking garage elevator. Stared at the buttons and thought...how do i know where the street is. P1, P2, 1, 2, B. Basically I went up and down the elevator 3 times called Jos, told her I was lost in the elevator. She very calmly said... is there a number with a star beside it. I pushed the star.... and made it to the street.

You're right.....it's very sad..... I need help. I did learn some things though. Did you know..I'm sure you did, that the streets are in alphabetical order? Burnside, Couch (evidently pronounced Cooch)...etc. So when I was on Washington but wanted to be on Burnside I now know for sure that I was really in the wrong place...... Anyone want to try out for the Amazing Race?

I FEEL LOST

The title lends itself to many possibilities of posts. Lost in life, lost in spirit..... no.... today I feel lost. The greatest thing that happened to me last year was the addition to my life of GPS. It gave me a freedom unlike anything I have ever known. I remember one particularly beautiful day, I just started driving up. Any street that looked like it went up, I followed. I actually ended up at the cemetery. But the beauty of it was that I didn't have to think about where I was going. I just drove. When I was done. I pressed the home button and found my way home.

I am not mentioning any names.....at all..... but someone drove over my GPS. I did not think it a big deal until I tried to find a meeting I was going to on Tuesday. I have driven with the help of my friend GPS every time I go. So this week I was forced to recall on my own. I made the first turn... and knew in my heart that I was wrong... and yet.... i continued. I remembered I had seen Walker and was sure that I needed to turn right on Walker. Funny thing is when I got to Walker it was a one way street going left. Wrong again. So I thought well.. I will head back to the freeway and try again. Wrong. Never found the freeway but did find Murray which I thought...ok... i know this street.... this is the street that heads back towards the church. Drove and drove...... until I saw Scholls Ferry. Which for those of you that are not local is the complete opposite way of the church. I turned on Scholls Ferry thinking it would take me back somewhere towards where I wanted to go. And low and behold like a beacon in the night. Washington Square Mall which thankfully is next to the freeway. Did I finally make it? Eventually..... Was I 12 miles the wrong direction? Yes.

So the point of this blog. What am I missing? Why do I have zero sense of direction? And I mean zero. Are there classes you can take? On a practical level, if I am blessed to get another GPS what kind would you get? The price range is unbelievable. I know my old one had me driving on grass alot.

The other point. If ever I go missing. Just go the opposite way you think I should have gone.... and you'll find me.

SNOWED IN

Just some random thoughts on Day 8 of Artic Storm 2008

1. Mild panic set in when someone realized that we were out of chips, ice cream, and diet dr. pepper. I risked my life to get these staples from the store


2. I did drive in the snow... made me feel really grown up.


3. Starbucks was closed when I went out..... that doesn't seem right


4. I really like being alone...... I am not alone.


5. I think snow makes you fat..... i feel fat.


6. I think computers make you fat.... mine has been on my lap for 8 days......and I feel fat.


7. My sister is in 80 degree weather and I feel.....bitter.


8. Tree limbs falling are loud and make me very nervous


9. Made cookies with the kids... there is such a thing as too many sprinkles


10. Facebook is not as bad as i thought....Kind of cool to see what the world is doing when I am stuck in my house.


11. Email kind of sucks..... we should call people more.


12. Trying to work from home with everyone else being home takes 78 times longer.


13. Eating at home.... makes a mess.


14. I think I'm suppose to say something positive now..........


15. It is very nice when the kids go to bed.... they are still up.


16. I think blogging makes you fat.......

THE MOMENT MATTERS

Maybe it's the snow, maybe it's the cold, maybe it's the concert that we spent 6 months planning getting cancelled....I'm not sure what it is exactly, but i know that I am sitting here thinking about moments in life. I'm thinking about anticipation and expectation of moments.

I remember the last Christmas I had with my mom. The expectation was huge. Although there was a considerable amount of denial going on, I think we all knew that this was it. We had visions of these amazing moments and memories that we would create. We imagined singing around the piano as we had every Christmas. We anticipated that it would be filled with all sorts of moments that were not to be. We anticipated that we would celebrate Mom's birthday with the only tradition our family actually has of eating tuna boats (don't ask) on Jan 1st. That Christmas, we all got the flu. Well almost everyone. So instead of dinners around the table it was lining up for the bathroom. It was distressing to say the least and there was nothing we could do. Moments we had hoped for....lost. She died 6 weeks later.

It is cliche' to say that this moment is all we have, but it is so true. The moments we prepare for something have to be just as important as the moment we are to perform, because we may never get to perform. The moments we are given to love must be loved with all that we have because there may not be another chance to love. We anticipate that the next moment will be better than the one we are in. And then we find that it never comes. Life is so short.

And I suppose this could be considered a depressing post, but perhaps loving yourself in the moment, loving others in the moment, not taking any moment for granted would make a difference in life. And perhaps we would begin to see that they are only moments, and the moments pass and new ones come.

UPDATE STUPIDEST AND GROSSEST PET

We figured out that if you lift up Jewels container that you could see her from underneath. A few weeks ago, I tapped on the bottom of the "tank" and she moved. Today... however... I could see her whole body out of the shell and it was definitely not moving. I lifted up the dish that was covering and sure enough just a seemingly decaying hermit crab. I called Grace over and said... Grace I think I have some bad news. She said...."I know what you're going to say." Yes.. honey I think Jewels is dead. We carried it down and called the undertaker...(daddy) and he lifted her body out of the tank and then lifted up what looked like an empty shell. Then he says to Jordan..."Bring me a knife." I thought.... " A knife??? Is he really going to dig this thing out in front of Grace???" Then he says...."No, Jordan a sharp knife." Oh my gosh do I grab Grace and run do I tell her to turn away. So Don sticks the knife into the shell.... and says..."Oh wow.. she's still alive." Evidently molting has occurred (see picture above) So we put her back in her home covered her all up so we can't see her, put fresh water and new food, put her back on Grace's shelf. I then told Grace... next time we should get a dog. She agreed!

DOLLAR STORE GRINCH

The kids have been begging to go to the dollar store. They love that they can come with dollar in hand and leave with a useless junk toy that they will treasure for days if not hours. So we went on Saturday night... walk in and see this huge box of.... junk toys. The kids are thrilled...digging through finding their treasures while I think to myself... I hate the dollar store. So we've filled our basket and get to the counter to pay for our little treasures. The guy scans them which is funny to me because I'm thinking

everything costs a dollar.. buddy.

He looks at me and says..."Where did you get this stuff?"

"Uh... from your box of junk over there."

To which he replies... "Those are toys that have been donated for needy children."

"Oh... sorry... I didn't see the sign."

He says, "Oh that's okay... everyone has been doing that." And THEN... he proceeds to take my dollars and have me rebuy the toys that someone already donated!!! As in they already paid for those toys!

With all that said. I told the kids that all of our shopping will be done at the dollar store for Christmas. With the exception of Ashley... everyone is thrilled. I might get through Christmas for a family of 5 for about $20. I may grow to love the dollar store after all. Or maybe I'll see if I can get on the list for the toys in the box.