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Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Signing off

This year has been quite a happening year so far.

I made a couple of big decisions that change my life path.

And I don't regret at all.

I realized that I have to change the way I see things which may in turn change your perspective of me.

I do this in order to survive. Or to say its to keep me going.

It wont bothers me if you disagree with me and distance me.

Cause I know I'm alone at the end of the day.

Just pull the trigger
12:15 AM
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Saturday, August 23, 2014

Story of My Life

The 1 mth break I am having is coming to an end...

Just pull the trigger
9:24 PM
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Sunday, April 27, 2014

Is it just me?

Long hrs of work that lead to unhealthy lifestyle.

Meaningless work that doesn't improves me.

Is this the job that most of the people are working or is it just me?

Just pull the trigger
8:55 PM
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Sunday, April 20, 2014

Escape plan

The Sydney break I took in end of March changes my life perspectives.

- Why do I have to rush like mad when I can just take it slowly and enjoy the special moments.

- What do I get from working here? 12 hrs work daily processing bank transactions.

- The hunger I endured during work and after work. Why am I committing suicide to me own body?

- The weekends I wasted to recharge my body. Mostly spent on sleeping and going out shopping and buying clothes and things that are expensive and may not be of use.

- Why do I have to be stuck here when I can just put an end to it.

I am really confused abt myself.

On one hand I wanted to be someone who wants to do something meaningful but on the other hand I also want to have more income to look after my own needs and also for my family.

I want to mingle and be sociable.

But I hate crowds.

I wanted to be able to talk to others abt my feelings but I don't want others to know why do I even bother abt such things.

Its hard to be alone and to feel good to be alone.

I am still learning to be comfortable being alone.

Who is reading this dusty blog of mine?

Just pull the trigger
1:48 PM
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Thursday, November 14, 2013

Model

Who's my role model?

None.

I feel like I have no one to talk to, to ask for advice, for my future.

To all the people around me, I may seems like a very independent person. But I'm not.

I don't like to take the lead, make decisions, giving advice to people...

Because when I'm facing choices, I freak out, gets too bother in choosing the PERFECT choice.

The word perfect really kills me.

I wanted everything to be perfect.

Guess is this perfection thingy in me that makes me feels stress.

I've always putting a brave front and now I just wanna cry, cry it all out but...

I can't....

Do you know how it feels when you feels like crying and no tears comes?

What should I do?

People always ask me questions and I always reply with an answer.

And when it's my turn to ask questions, I get no answer.

Just pull the trigger
11:38 PM
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Sunday, November 10, 2013

How to be ALIVE

The feelingless days have to be gone.

I need to feel my life is flowing.

Real badly.

And so, pain comes into my life.

Its going to be hurt, but at least I know, I can feel it, I am alive.

Just pull the trigger
9:33 PM
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Thursday, November 7, 2013

Failure again

There's people who wins in everything.

But there's also people out there who fails and try again and again.

The feeling is bad. Disappointment. Anger. Sad. Dazed.

SHOUT OUT REQUIRED!!!

Just pull the trigger
11:37 PM
0 commented