Harrison Gary McBride

Harrison Gary McBride

January 10, 2017

1:31 p.m.

8 lbs 14.5 oz 

21inches

So, I had been told at my doctor's office long ago that they would be able to start me early with this baby since it was my 4th and all deliveries had been healthy, not to mention I have big babies! But on the evening of the 9th of January I was in tears because not only would they not be able to start me early, they couldn't find a spot for me at the hospital until 3 days after my due date (my due date was the 17th, the start date was set for the 20th). I called Josh at work in a panic! Three months prior he had to turn in his work vacation schedule and took 2 full weeks off in January for the baby. The 20th was right at the very end of those 2 weeks. So, here I was, painfully pregnant and desperate to get this baby out of me thinking I would have to go overdue again and not have my husband around to help me once we had the baby.

Josh saved the day. He emailed my doctor (they work in the same building) explaining the situation and called in a favor to see if there was anything that could be done. She agreed that McKay Dee Hospital was being dumb because they had agreed to several dates for my induction and then called back saying they weren't available anymore. So, she rolled up her sleeves and managed to secure an earlier day for me - the very next day in fact! Ah, the perks of having connections sometimes. They were able to set me up for the next morning, January 10th at 8 a.m. I was so relieved.

So we hurried and found babysitters and school arrangements for our kids and tried our best to get some sleep. My mom was able to get off work for the morning, so she met us at the hospital. When I arrived at labor and delivery they had me a room with a beautiful view of Ogden and the mountains!  My nurse came in and started asking questions about what I wanted for this birth. When I informed her that I wanted a natural birth, she was so excited! She took us out of the room with a view and into a small, dim room with all the goodies for a natural birth. I feel so blessed that she ended up being my nurse. She is a strong advocate for going natural and has been working to get McKay more equipped for natural deliveries over the past couple of years. She was the perfect nurse for me. I got in my fancy hospital gown and Dr. Wood came in. I thought they were going to put me on pitocin from the get go, but she decided to start by breaking my water. I was very happy about this. With all my other babies, breaking the water was the thing my body needed to get my babies out fast! I thought we'd be done and holding a baby in an hour! That didn't happen. Breaking my waters did put me into labor, but I had a rough road ahead of me. I started out all putsy-putsy and was on the bed and off the bed, feeling pretty good. The monitors showed that I was contracting, but they weren't that painful. I thought this labor was going to be a piece of cake! Just as a side note, for the past two weeks I had already been dilated to a 4 and 80% effaced, so my body was well prepared as well.

The contractions started becoming more painful, so the nurse put me on the birthing ball. I liked it. I would lean on the bed and nurse Stacy showed Josh and my mom where to put pressure on my back to help alleviate some pain. It worked for a while. But after an hour or so the pressure on my back started really hurting, like I was bruising. So, they stopped doing that and I just really tried to relax and breathe through the contractions. They were mighty painful, but I felt like I was doing a really great job at relaxing my body. I didn't do as many pep talks to myself this time around, I was all focus. And Josh was still great about reminding me to let my body do it's thing and push the baby down. When the nurse checked me, I hadn't dilated much more. I was really disappointed about this. We decided to get me on all fours to labor for a while. I liked the change and again, this worked for a bit, but then the pain began to get unmanageably difficult for me. After checking me again and seeing that I still hadn't progressed I really got discouraged. I mentally gave up which made the contractions feel even worse. My nurse even mentioned how she could see me deflate.

I was disappointed that my body wasn't advancing quickly and even more disappointed that my mind didn't feel strong enough to keep going. It was at this point that I knew my labor wasn't going to go as well as my first natural birth with Johnny and that really bummed me out. Dr. Wood came in and told the nurse to give me pitocin. So, they hooked me up and gave me a "whiff" my nurse called it. I honestly can't remember when they gave it to me, but they must have at some point! Ha ha. I remember all the cords feeling cumbersome and in my way. I did not want to be hooked up to that machine.

Then my nurse had the great idea to put me in the tub to labor. Initially I wanted to say no, because it felt like such a waste of water to me for some irrational reason, but I said yes and I'm so glad I did. She ran the tub and got me in it, unhooking me from the pitocin tubes. The warm water felt really good and I was able to relax a bit better and refocus. And boy, did I need to refocus because otherwise I would have given up and asked for an epidural! In the tub I started feeling a really strong urge to push. But when she checked me in the tub, I was still only at an 8! The nurse got me out of the tub, I can't remember why, but I was laying on the bed on my back and she checked me again thinking maybe her check in the tub wasn't accurate because of my strong urges to push! But still... at an 8. She also discovered he was posterior which is why it was not going as quickly as we expected and why it was so much more painful than I remembered natural labor feeling. Especially in my back. I'd heard horror stories about back labor, and I was experiencing it first hand. After this news Stacy could see the defeat in my face and suggested I get back into the tub. But at that point, I did NOT want to move. So, I just ignored her and focused on trying not to push. I had some horrible noises coming out of me. Worse than last time.

This is when things got impossibly hard. The pain seemed constant and I wanted to give up. My hands and arms kept getting tingly. I told Josh this and he informed me it was because I was hyperventilating and needed to slow down my breathing. I started silently freaking out because I've seen what can happen when someone hyperventilates! I didn't want my fingers to curl up. Then I thought that freaking out wasn't going to solve anything so I tried really hard to take deep slow breaths. It was so hard. They also put me on oxygen to help. I remember looking at Josh and pleading desperately with my eyes that I was done and then telling him aloud "I can't do it." He kept telling me I could. But all I could think was "but I'm not dilating! and it hurts!" The nurse must have thought we were somewhat close because other nurses were in there setting stuff up. Stacy came back over to check and see where I was, and there was my babies head! Coming out! It was like a miracle to me. I have never felt more relief than I did at that moment. She told someone to go get the doctor, but things were already well on their way. I gave two more good pushes and out he came! Shoulders straight on and everything. He came out with a mass of dark hair (read: heartburn). Dr. Wood didn't make it, she missed the delivery completely. Oh well.
I should have known when I was ready to give up that that was it - I was in transition! Note to self: right when you think you can't handle it anymore, that's when it's nearly over. I just forget that when I'm in the middle of it.

Birth is amazing, because the moment that baby comes out all the pain just disappears.
But, he came out really blue. I must push too hard or something because I bruised up his face just like Johnny's. I got to hold him skin to skin for a while before they weighed him. We hadn't decided on a name yet and even looking at him, I couldn't quite decide. While they were measuring him I delivered the placenta and got stitched up. Then I got him back to hold him for another hour and nurse him. Just like all my other babies, he latched really quickly.

After the shakes went away, I was feeling really quite good! When they came to get me and move me to my recovery room, I was able to just get up and walk to my wheelchair, no problem. That's one of the best things about a natural birth for me; how quickly I feel good and how quickly I heal.

We only stayed at the hospital one night and were able to go home the next day. It still felt like an eternity! (I don't love the hospital). We decided to name him Harrison Gary McBride. His middle name Gary is after my Grandpa Beazer whom I love dearly; he passed away in 2009.

Honestly though, it was a tough birth. Mentally tough. Physically tough. I realize that it was only 4.5 hours of labor, but I made the mistake of thinking it would be really quick based on my past labor and deliveries and the fact that it was my 4th. I was discouraged through the majority of it and disappointed in myself quite a bit too for not being mentally stronger.

But I did it. And I'm so glad I did... but I don't know if I could do it again!

We love having Harrison in our family. All the kids loved him from the moment they saw him, including Johnny who loves to pat his blankets and say "soft." Already, he's grown way to fast! With every baby my heart just grows in love, I love having a baby in my home.

A few weeks before I had Harrison, I had received a Priesthood blessing from my husband that told me that this baby would bring me more happiness than I can even imagine. I look forward to many happy years with this little boy.

Johnny Conrad McBride

John Conrad McBride

"Johnny"

Born May 27th 2015

Weight: 8 lbs 15 oz

Length: 21.5 in

Time: 11:16 a.m. 

We named him John Conrad after Josh's wonderful Grandpa Irwin. He passed away in July 2012 after 96 amazing years. He had such a strong impact on Josh's life and we feel it an honor to call our son Johnny. Another factor in his name is that I recently found out that my Grandpa Johnson was also called Johnny when he was in the Navy! A son named after two remarkable men in each of our lives, that feels pretty special to me.

Now for the extremely detailed birth story. 

 (It was mostly natural, so read at your own risk!)

When I had Darcy, things went so quickly and smoothly that I thought if the next birth was anything like hers, that I could maybe actually have a natural birth. After being on the fence about it for most of my pregnancy, I finally decided that if I was going to do it, I needed to commit. So, I decided to really just go for it. I checked out multiple books on natural birth and gleaned good info from all of them. Then I practiced meditation and relaxation, convinced myself that my body was made to do this, and had Josh plan on being my birth coach. He helped me establish some self hypnosis techniques to keep me calm through labor (it's not as kooky as it sounds, I promise!)

 I filled out the Birth Place paperwork at St. Joseph's Hospital and prayed and prayed that I would go into labor on my own so that I could actually use the Birth Place. 

Unfortunately, my body likes to stay pregnant longer than expected.

On Saturday the 23rd my mom came into town and that evening we really got our hopes us. I had regular, light contractions for 2.5 hours and then they just stopped. Boo.

My due date, May 24th came and went with no other signs of labor.

 At my doctors appointment on the 26th I was barely dilated to a 2 and 50% effaced... but nothing to jump up and down about. Unless that would help induce me! Ha ha. The doctor said I could be medically induced as early as the next morning if I wanted, or I could wait until the next Monday (June 1st) and then they would definitely start me. 

Since that was the day my mom was to fly out, after a day of deliberating, I finally decided to be induced and forego the Birth Place. I didn't want her to miss anything! And let's face it, I was tired of being pregnant.

So, Wednesday the 27th Josh and I headed to the hospital and arrived at 6:00 a.m. 

We checked in and got settled in the room. At 7:00 a.m. they hooked me up to my fluids, my antibiotic for Strep B, and pitocin. 

As well as the monitors and stuff. Blech.

I was feeling really down about all of it, so I asked Josh for a Priesthood blessing. It was a beautiful blessing. I was reassured that even though things were not starting how I wanted, that everything else would go as well as I had planned and that I could have a smooth, natural birth. I was able to perk up a bit after that. 

Things were going well! I was responding to the pitocin and my blood pressure was good
(my blood pressure is always good, it's just something I like to brag about). 

At 8:30, I was feeling a little restless, so I shifted around a bit in my bed to get more comfortable. I felt a noticeable 'pop' in my lower left abdomen. I thought the baby elbowed me or something, but then I felt a leak! My water broke!!! All by itself! I was so excited. I've never had my water break on its own before. The contractions were regular, but not super painful yet. I would say my pain level was at a 3 by then. Totally manageable.

My mom arrived at the hospital around 10 a.m. My amazing friend Mari drove her and kept Darcy for the day (Brinkley was at school). The doctor came in to see how much I was dilated. If I remember right, I was at a 4. My contractions were stronger by then, perhaps at a 5 pain level. Although my water had broken, the baby's head had blocked off the draining, so the doc got the giant crochet hook and broke the other side of the bag. Another gush of waters came out. What a pleasant feeling. Ha ha. Not.

I was still feeling rather restless, so I asked the nurse if I could go to the bathroom. I dripped amniotic fluid on the floor. Embarrassing. Josh helped me to the bathroom and that is where my contractions really picked up. I had a contraction before I went potty and one immediately after. I think the combination of breaking my water the rest of the way and walking around really kicked my labor into gear. 

My good nurse, who knew I had wanted to be in the birth place, said I could keep the monitors off for about 10 minutes.
And she let me stay out of bed and move around!

This is when things got real y'all. 

My pain level was up to an 8 and contractions were coming every 1.5 minutes. I was standing and would just lean on Josh during contractions. As my pain would come, he would gently remind me to relax. He would focus on specific parts to relax. "Relax your arms, relax your back, relax your bum." I naturally wanted to fight the contraction, to hold tight against the pain, but he reminded me to work with it. It helped me keep in mind that the contractions were working to move the baby out. I had also told Josh to give me positive encouragement! (I respond well to that sort of stuff) So he would tell me that my body could do it, that I was amazing and strong. 

I felt amazing and strong!

In between contractions I would pump myself up like a sprinter getting ready for the next race. I would like give myself pep talks and stuff! I kept repeating "I can do this, I can do this." Positive thinking, it really works.

After a while it got harder to relax during contractions, I started making fists and beating Josh's back a bit. Not hard, more like a nervous tick or something. And the contractions were coming really fast, there wasn't much time to pump myself back up for the next one, but I did the best I could.

Then my legs turned to jello.

I tried sitting on the bed and that made the pain unbearable, so I got on the bed on all fours. Again, my nurse was so awesome. At some point she got my monitors back on (no idea when). I had 2 contractions on my hands and knees, but it was making my hands fall asleep, she she had the brilliant idea to turn me around and use the tilted bed as my support, that way gravity could work with my body. She just threw a sheet over my bum so nobody had to see that. Ew. And I am still just so grateful she let me labor in these different positions. I cannot imagine laying on my back through them.

At this point the nurse offered me drugs, and my mom said something along those lines as well, but I was determined. Although, to be honest, my resolve was diminishing. I kept thinking "how long is this going to last? Because I don't know how much longer I can handle this pain" which was easily at a 10 by now.  I had a few contractions there on the bed when all of a sudden, this awful, guttural noise came out of my throat. The contraction hurt so bad, and I really, really felt like I needed to push. I figured I wasn't supposed to push yet, so I tried to hold it in, hence the awful, guttural noise. Holding it all in was making me feel like my whole abdomen was convulsing. So, I said "I feel like a need to push!"

The nurse had me turn around to check how far I was dilated and guess what? There was no cervix to be found! Yahoo! She told me not to push yet so she could get the doctor. Umm, I almost wanted to laugh because I just knew I wouldn't be able NOT to push. But I tried, and there was more convulsing and more gross sounds coming out of me. Luckily, everyone was moving quickly and they got the doctor there and my bed all ready. My feet were in stirrups and I could finally push.

The only problem was I could not follow directions. My body just wanted to do what it wanted to do and they nurses were telling me to do something else. Finally, my brain clicked and I did what they said. I pulled on my legs, put my chin to my chest, held my breath and PUSHED! 

Then the doctor was all "don't push too hard, slow down." Yeah right, I just pushed with all my might to get that baby out. He was out in 3 pushes.

He was born at 11:16 a.m. 

Four hours and 16 minutes total from start to finish and 'hard' labor for a little less than an hour.

Because I couldn't manage to slow down my pushing, he came out with a really blue, bruised face, and it took him a while to cry. I bet his Apgar score was really low. The placenta delivered 2 minutes later  at 11:18. It felt really weird to me. I think I even said to the doctor "what was that?" He laughed and said "the placenta, what do you think it was?" Ha ha. I did tear a bit and had to get stitches. I also had the shakes really bad. All that adrenaline was coursing through my body and it made me just shake for a while. The nurses piled on those fabulous heated blankets.

My mom asked the nurse if they had ever seen such a fast natural birth and she said no. The doctor said "I like efficient women." What a compliment!

They let me hold my baby boy right away and at St. Josephs they give you a full hour to be skin to skin and start breastfeeding before they do anything else. Let me just tell you, it was a magical time. He was so beautiful to me (purple face and all). I was just selfish and took that full hour to myself. I couldn't stop staring at him. I was feeling very emotional, as was Josh. That is when I told Josh I wanted him to pick the name for the baby, we both started crying because we knew we would name him Johnny.

I was in love.

********************************************************************************

My story may make natural birth sound traumatizing, but it was seriously one of the best experiences I have ever had. It was so amazing to feel so strongly all those phases of labor, to know exactly what was happening, to feel him come out, and knowing that my body and mind did such a hard, extraordinary thing is just incredible. I would do it again in a heartbeat. My simple words cannot express the way I feel about it. I highly recommend it.

And I have to thank my husband. I honestly could not have done it without him. He helped me prepare for it, he helped me through it, and he was just as much a part of that labor as I was and that is pretty special. When I had epidurals in the past, I sort of felt detached from it all in a way, and he was just sort of on the sidelines while the nurses did everything for me. 

But nurses could never do what Josh did for me that day.

I love that he was vital to the healthy delivery of my baby. I love my husband and I think we both feel the same way about going through this together. 

And not to get all mushy, you can stop reading if you want, but I just feel like it is a metaphor for our marriage. These past 7 years of medical school and residency we have only had each other to lean on through all the hard things we have been through. We've needed each other, depended on each other, and turned to each other when things were at their worst. 

I think this was a brilliant way to end our journey through his medical training. I feel closer to Josh than I ever have before and I just adore him.

I am so grateful for my beautiful family. I am so blessed. I love my husband, I love my girls, and I love my new, beautiful son. 

I am thankful that because Josh and I have been sealed in the temple, and keep our covenants, that we can be an eternal family forever. 

Now, if anyone is even slightly interested in having a natural birth, call me and I'll talk you into it! It's amazing!

Balloon Fest

On a whim (very unlike me) I took the girls to to the 35th Annual Jamesville Balloon Fest!

They launch a bunch of hot air balloons into the sky - and it is pretty awesome.

I couldn't believe how close they let you get to the action, and what a small space they are able to squeeze all those balloons in! I was surprised at how low-key and uncrowded it felt, plus it was free! Just my kind of family fun. When we were hungry for dinner, we just left without feeling like didn't get our money's worth. It was very fun, and the girls had a good time.

 I took the wrong camera lens, so getting great pictures was a challenge, but I managed. Brinks took some pictures too.

 Brinkley's Favorite - with the bow

A special treat - they got to stand on the car so I could snap a few photos.

 Josh found a dent in the hood the next day... oops.

Acro Recitals

Here's some pictures of the girls for their Acro recitals. This event was a huge money sucker and I was awfully bitter... but seeing them on stage dancing so cute was soooo worth it! Especially since the whole recital was a well-oiled machine. There was no waiting in between numbers, which I found to be a plus considering they were over 2 hours (the girls were in seperate recitals, so we had to attend two that day).

Not to mention the girls were so happy to have performed on a big stage! And they both did so well! It was fun to see how excited they were after they danced. You could spot both of them anywhere just by looking for the two little girls who can't seem to stop jumping around on their tippy-toes.

So, I'm sorry about the poor quality of the stage photos - I have not yet mastered low-light situations. Still, I couldn't decided which photos to post and which to nix... and I tend to err on the side of too many! So, it's a photo overload.

 

 I think we'll work on cartwheels this summer....

 Second one in. Nice arch, right?

 The boy in her class doing the worm got the loudest cheers of the night. 

The probably should not have given my daughter a glow stick bracelet. She did everything but wear it.