This is going to be one boring blog post about one's daily routine, but with the appearance of some huge elements (historic pictures) popping out occasionally so that your eyes may rest on splashes of colour that somehow describes me better than my words do (you will soon discover), apparently, after having to put them through letters of words and more boring words. Spoiler alert: I turn 18 at the end of it.
I don't usually write stuff like this, but here we go.
The very first image that managed to present itself clearly before my eyes as the day started, which successfully knocked me out of my bed, was the scene of my unlocked phone screen, particularly the one small part that shows "6:35am". I had no idea how many times I had so desperately pressed on the snooze button. After a quick shower and all the preparation, I set out for work hurriedly, having to sacrifice breakfast.
Then the usual stuff. Set up the bar, check the mark-out tags, clock in, turn on the turbo chef oven, till in, greet the customers, take their orders, make some drinks, take more orders, make some more drinks. There was something that was unusual though. Today I learned something extremely new, and really felt the impact of the phrase that goes like, 'everyone out there has their own stories'. True, so true. In a way, this learning has changed my perspective towards life itself. It inspired me, unexpectedly, to cherish the people around us and the moments with them, because tomorrow is not promised.
I am going to write so much details about today, which is quite sickening to me too, but oh well, there's only one today. Details include what I had for breakfast. A good cup of Signature Hot Chocolate (burned my tongue) with just the right touch of taste, topped with whipped cream, which I have recently grew a weird fond towards.Then I had a bagel sandwich during my break and was not sure of the proper way to eat it and ended up using a pair of fork and knife. In the process of eating I got an unexpected call from my mom wishing my happy birthday - she thought that today was Wednesday. The remaining free time I had was devoted to this book, called The Hunger Games. Time moved moderately after resuming work and it eventually brought me back home.
My day at home was spent helping out my aunt to do some cleaning, eating, and most of it - as anyone else out there does - on the computer. After much of not doing anything particular on the net, I started looking back at all of the photos and albums I have in my Facebook. Boy, my life was amazing. It was once amazing. What I'm living with right now is nothing close to that, nothing I want at all, but I'll get to that later, hopefully. Generally, I came to realize that I am never going to be who I was, ever, again.
This was me, just a year ago, during choir practice,
Just a year ago. It was a Wednesday in July, which explains the uniform. Oh, that precious piece of uniform, now hanging in my closet far away back home, never to be used again. I was once the cadet leader... And that's it. My job was done there. I was that person who planned, who did last minute plannings, who failed to plan, who could feel that big 'ST. JOHN' word sticking on my face where ever I walked in school and even out of it, who carried this heavy and tiring responsibility for what felt like an eternity... back then. Haha.It is now gone and I somehow miss it. I miss having to sacrifice so much of my time for it. I miss waking up early in the morning for it. I miss having no choice but to stand in front and talk as loud as I could. I miss the faces of the members whom I could name almost all of them by just looking at them. I miss foot-drilling, as much as I once used to hate it. I miss being who I was. And let's just not get to choir.
Probably it's because I am the type of person that needs to feel, and know that I am doing something useful with my life. Not necessarily big, but something that really takes up much of my attention, something that makes me feel worth living. I can honestly tell you, right now, that I feel that I am in no use at all. Not even when I have a job as a barista. Anyone could be a barista in no time, given the proper training and understanding. College makes me feel even worse. After eight months, I still feel like a nobody. I don't even feel belonged. There won't be much difference to others if I have stopped attending college, and the worse part is that I
know that. I ought to come up with a plan on how to lead this life, really.
Okay enough of that part. This is suppose to be a post on how I spent my last day of being a 17 year old. Which brings us to the second thing any teen out there adores to do... Sleeping. I took a nap after I'm done with the computer. I love sleeping, provided that I adjust it to just the right amount.
Then I woke up, showered, had dinner, watched some TV, read a few pages of wordings... and I am back here again, to pen down my day. I have expected that by the end of this post I will already officially turn eighteen, and true enough, I am eighteen now. Not a big deal though. This year I have prepared myself to not really care too much about birthdays and well, so far so good. I hope tomorrow will turn out good, nonetheless. A year ago the highlight of this particular day was when I stepped out of school and saw a face that made me give out the widest and most genuine smile. Two years ago was St. John's annual dinner. Three years ago we had Higher Ground held. Four years ago I received a T-shirt with Jae Joong on it. The rest, I can't remember that well.
I need my rest. Good night.
