Friday, June 29, 2007

weather: raining, its night
29th June 2007
music: 听妈妈的话

okay. hey. well. am supposed to be doing my homework and revision. But i am not in the right mood right now. am feeling really emo right now. well. i guess that this is the first time that i actualy admit that i am an emo person.=.=. partly is cos, i am listening to ting mama der hua. its on the left, i just changed it, you should go listen if you have the time. its nice. I feel like crying everytime i hear it. I feel like i am an unfilial son. I just disappointed my parents so bad during mid year. I felt like i didnt listen to her. every single time, she asks me to get away from the computer and start my work. What do i do? i treat is as er bian feng and just brush it away. i feel so idiotic. and disappointed them. during sec 2, i've scored really well. and what happened now? 37th in class. pro. my head is pounding as i type this, and it only happens when i am stressed.

today, in school was okay. it was the part when i went down to the band room that made me felt disappointed in myself. so i went down, and started teaching the sec2s. I pulled them out of their warm ups. and decided to hear their long tones. hearing how the seniors say that their tone cannot make it and what not right, i listened out with all ears. and listen to their tone, articulation and everything, and allowed the music that they played to dance into my ears. And you know what? i found it quite all right. I am especially proud of my juniors. All 3 of them. cos I hear improvments. I found stacey's tone to be not bad, in fact. am proud to say this. and Joanne's tone is also okay. just that there is "ffffffffffffff"inside. well, dont worry. she will overcome. kaiping's tone, although the tone isnt up to expectations, was still okay. she doesnt know how her fingerings. thats all. gave her the piccolo to play today. yeah. hope it will motivate her to work harder. so the sec 2s was okay.

but..

i guess that something else that happened in the band room made me very disappointed inmyself. which is my close to me junior-wei jun. during the mozart song today, when i heard him. i was like going WOW. oh my goshh mann. his tone sounded flawless, sounded full of stabillity and wondrously cool. even i couldnt achieve that when i was sec 3. As i listened with enviousy, i just kept on thinking why i couldnt be a better flautist. My playing sucks a lot compared to jun. his tone was like ringing through the band room. the music flowing as though the notes were dancing ballet in the air. It was the most wonderful, beautiful, gorgeous, spectecular thing i have ever heard, with a faint essence of vibrato in it. you know, when reflecting upon myself, i guess what someone say was right. As he played, i listened with admiration and respect. really. was so damn cool. and i just ask myself, why cant i be better? well. i guess i did it. something that we flautists have tried to achieve, to get your junior to be better than you. I guess that i am real proud of him that he can play so well. I would say the best junior i can ever have. guai, dong shi, ting hua, li hai in studies or band. and i really envy him. well, i think i better start bucking up. EVEN MORE. haha. well. musnt let myself to drone in self pity ever again. I think instead of this, I'd better concentrate on my studies more first. Then deal with the flute tone and everything when i get into my dream JC's band. the competition there is furious and ferocious. and i dont know whether i can take it. listening to him after that playing with jon oh senior with the basoon, i went even wower. haha. well.. hopefully, someday i can surpass him again. then he will be motivated to improve. then allow each other to improve by leaps and bounds again, though he very pro liao. haha. =).

but as there say, you have to take risks to be better. well. go jerm. hope all those who did oral today did well! =). cya guys soon.

-jErM

@ 8:25 pm

Thursday, June 28, 2007

okay. so i continue from my last post!

haha. okay. so school started. haha. HOORAY! YAYY. haha. for the first time, i actually am more enthu about going back to school. i missed the teachers dharmas, their scoldings and my friends. haha. yeah. and i can concentrate more in class this time. YAYYY. you know something? when i looked at the class, everyone seems so dead and tired. haha. must be the holidays. oh well. dont worry, everyone will be back to norm soon. oh yeah. cant wait. haha.

lately in class, it was fun as well. haha. my life seem to rock more and more. hahaha. eg, kairu cracking me up. haha. Hmm. lets see, she wants to name her children, potassium, sodium and calcium. hahah LOL!! i mean, so nice! haha. and she said that nxt time, if a kid comes up to me and go... "xian sheng, jing zhu zhe chi, jing mo zhe hei!." ni shi ming bu xu chuan. okay, i think the han yu pin yin is confusing. haha. but nevertheless, kairu said that that will be her children. LOLL. haha. okay. i shall wait. haha. and i still have to wait for her wedding. =.=. cos i have to go and apologise to her future husband, whoever it is, for touching her hand accidentally last year. oh well. haha. *shudders* shes my god bro maa. LOLLL. hahah.

the other day also saw si han. MAN. hahaha. missed him. my best friend in the WWW. that day saw him at the interchange. we talked for quite a bit before we both had to go. haha. whenever i talk to him, feel so motivated to study all over again. we both hope that we can get into temasek together. woa. big and huge task. but i suddenly felt all the memories and what not coming back. it was nice. really nice. haha. GOGO JERM. haha. cant wait man. TJTJTJTJJTJTJ. hope can meet again. =D. wei neng don all going tj. PLS PLS PLS. hahaha. work harder baa. =/

well. and today was chinese O level orals. =.=. the teacher only asked me 1 question. so dumb. oh mann. I dont know whether its good a not lehh. when i was waiting for the 2nd quesition right, the examiners suddenly said, you can go already(chinese). i was like HURR?. oh my god. idiotic. dunno whether this is good not. haha. but the class ppl is saying good. i used a quotation TOTALLY WRONG. toopid. shouldnt have used lua's example. AAAAAA. TOOPID. cos i thought the meaning is the thing got a lot of reasons. oh well. what to do now. aiyoo arhh. haha. and i only used 1 idiom. goshh. i didnt used 1/2 quotations. didnt even use anymore. Mr lua said that you need to use a lot of quotations lehh, to score a good mark. oh no mann. i never even use any that i've studied. haiz. wan dan lers. i dont know laa. DIE DIE DIE.

haha. oh well. thats all for now. tomorrow go down band room look look see see. the others gonna have oral tomorrow. MUST KAMPATE! jia you jia you!

-jErM

@ 5:45 pm

weather: its gonna rain soon
28th june 07
music: firefly- a* teens

hey there. haha. okay. i didnt touch this place for a while. but i think i shall start by replying to posts first. I think i havent been replying to a lot of posts lately. haha. I start with the bottom and go to the top okay? starting from where i last replied. haha. =D

W.J., don, kr: haha. you all know about each other already right? so i dont reply arhh. =P.

shui man: HIIII SHUI MANN. haha. sorry so long then take to replyy. haha. must update your blog also okayy? hahaha. oh ya! thanks for always reading my blog. haha. will type more since you love to read! LOLL. haha

yenny: haha. yeah. I know pictures are worth a thousand words! haha. how can i not know? =P. yeah. I did put more pictures maa. haha. XD.

christine toshikasa: thanks for always standing beside me. haha. i will stand firm. promise. haha =D

jerm(w.j.)- aiyoo. why go act as me? haha

pinyi: OKAYY. =)

pauline: hey girl! =D

Rachel/cous: HEY COUS. hahaha. oh no. my blog bei ni fa xian ler. hahah. anyway, HELLO. hahah.

-jErM

@ 5:34 pm

Monday, June 18, 2007

Weather: grey grey sky
18th June 2007
music: The tide is high- atmoic kitten

haha HELLO!

ok first of all right, wanna start this post by telling you all something.


I've PASSED MY LIFESAVING 3!!!!

woohoo! oh yeah! hahaha. no need to see codename OLD MAN no more! oh yeah uh Huh. haha. I'VE PASSED. yeah yeah yeah. cant wait mann. haha this december would be bronze medallion already. oh yeahhh.hahaha. yayyayayyayayayayyayayayayayayayyayayayyyy! haha. ok. so about the course. it is fun and not fun all at the same time. contradicting ehh. haha. yeah. Gotta tell you something. The more you hate a thing, the more you gotta learn to love it. haha. thats what i did, in lifesaving. haha. Except for turning blacker, haha, learnt lots of stuff as well. haha. yeah. like EAR become much clearer on the steps to do, and saving a person in the water. haha. tell you what. Why dont I just go through the events that the test is going through.

Theory: haha. okok this part. FUN. haha. with all the SOS and 4As and steps of rescue. haha. i think you guys would be bored if i bother explaining them. haha. just needa know that those are stuff which you have to learn laa. haha. and the treatment for cramps and minor bleeding. haha.

practical:

defensive techniques- yeah, you gotta push the casualty away if he tries to grab hold of you, use the board and splash water on his face, use your legs or hands to go and kick/push him/her away. yeah. those. haha. FUN. haha. then there is 1 that really looks like as though you are dancing a ballroom dance with the casualty. haha. yeah. BUT, the real life situations will be much more aggresive, haha, instructors say that you gotta knock the person unconcious before saving him. haha.

EAR- in water and on land yeah. duh~ fun. haha. saving the casualty with all the surface dives. haha. yeah..

Initiative- that means, ppl are dispersed all over the pool and you gotta use whatever methods to save them. AM GLAD that i heed mr mok's advice to take the board and save ppl. haha. it works. really. haha. oh yeah, in case you're confused, mr mok(my swimming instructor) and Old man-mr lim kim seng, are our instructors. haha. yeah. cool man. passed the test. Also, got to know the lifesaving 3 ppl. haha. cos i came in the class late(cos the first 2 days got lesson at school[sorry got singlish]), haha, so yeah, made lots of friends, got to know all of them. haha. got close to all of them, haha, and everytime the course end, i went home with a new friend I made. say-en. haha. an indian. haha. yeah. cool guy. haha. sec 1 at dunman, volleyballer. haha. yeah. so thats lifesaving. FUN. haha. hope to see them at BM at the end of the year. haha. BM stands for bronze medallion, the next stage after lifesaving 3. haha. can't wait. starting was kindda xian laa for lifesaving 3, but it ended on high notes. haha. new friends, learning how to accept old man, darker me, and everything. wont ever forget it. haha. =D.

Meanwhile, haha, I also learnt how to get accross the monkey bar! YAY. haha after 16 years of my life. this holiday is cool man, new friends, darker skin, going on academics at my own pace, lifesaving 3, class chalet. haha. and on the 22nd is flute section's BBQ. haha. HMM. well. see how first. haha. cant wait! holidays rock. and I would say 1 thing. MY LIFE ROCKS. haha.

cos...

Learning how to love the things that you hate, will make you a better person. haha. really. try it.
cos i love it now. I've learnt to love lots of thigns that i hate. LIKE monkey bars, running, lots of stuff that i use to hate this year. oh boy. NICE. haha. Next thing to learn to love is STRESS. haha. yeah. STRESS. gotta learn to love it so that it wont distract me no more and i can relax for exams. yeahhh. haha. oh boyyy. oh yaa. found this cool site on zodiac signs, you guys should go see. haha. Think its kindda true!

http://eeloo.blogs.friendster.com/my_blog/2006/09/libra_part_3_of.html

oh ya! and THANKS PINYI! 1 MILLION. haha. introduce me to a site which has loads of songs. haha. well, gtg lers. haha

-jErM

@ 4:51 pm

Friday, June 15, 2007

weather: its night already.
15th June 2007
music: lizzie mcguire movie soundtracks- this is what dreams are made of, every girl wants you to be her man

hey. ok. so i havent touched the computer for a very very very long time. haha. i think about 2 weeks plus and just left my blog to die again. haha. ok. so many things happened lately. and feeling pretty drained now. haha. tell you what. so i think this will be a super duper long post. haha. again, only if you have time and have nothing to do, go ahead and read. haha.

ok. lets start with today. the eventful today. ok. so lifesaving 3 was really ok. shall blog about it later if i have the time about the whole course so far. haha. all i can say is. HOORAY. didnt get scolded by codename old man. haha. okok. then after that went home. dad is going cambodia for god festival, together with the rest of the temple people. mum, me, dion and natasha went into the car, fetched dad and uncle dexter to the airport.

Then mum, me, natasha and dion went to east coast. Sharol had canoeing camp, so she isnt with us. ok. We went mac first to have lunch. yeah. tried the tepenyaki burger. YUM. haha. the burger is nice. real nice. haha. waha. ok, then after that went to try rollerblading for the first time. All 3 sisters already knew how to roller blade. I am the only thorn among the roses. haha. so i tried rollerblading today. took me 1 HOUR AND 40 MINS to learn to skate smoothly. haha. Fell down a total THREE times today. and the three times is not a light fall. is, the rollerblade went in front, i lost my grip, went up into the air and fell onto the ground. PAIN. haha. really PAIN. and my feet has blisters now. woa. haha. nevermind. its all part of the learning process. falling and falling.=). anyway, finally, i can rollerblade. haha. the first time i tried it and learnt it in 1hr and 40 mins. haha. cool man. something i always wanted to try. cooll. hha. but i sweat a lot too. and drips of sweat keep dropping down onto the floor. haha. but really. it is WOBBLY. WOBBLY thing to do! haha. if lets say you feel like you gonna fall front, lean back a bit. you going back, lean front. you feel like falling left, you go right. haha. you get the idea. yeah. it was fun. oh yeah. dont worry. its not ALL words this time. haha.

ok, so this was sis before we went east coast. haha. see all those luggage thingys, haha, those belong to dad.


then 2 sis posed for a picture. haha. mum took it. she was photographer for the day. haha. hey, its not easy to rollerblade and take photos okaayy!


ME.


Then posed for another shot.


2 sisters went off to skate around the park while i skate around the junior's area. haha. yeah. thats when i fall down. =.=. haha.LOL. okok. Then after they skate back. Me and natasha decided to play a game. its called. HUG. haha. first i have to skate to get her and hug her, then its her turn. basically its called, tag, except in rollerblade form. haha. yeah.




Then later, sisters all went to the seaside. cos they saw a rainbow. I then had gained some experience already, so, i tried skating out of the juniors ring. haha. to watch them. then YAY. can rollerblade lers. Skate around east coast for a short while, before the time of renting skates was up. So went to return the skates. But before i returned, i took a photo of it.


followed sisters to pick seashells after that.



then i formed this in the sand.


The rainbow is there. haha. can see? its super super vague. try to see it. haha. i managed to make a wish on it be4 it disappeared.


haha. yeah. so thats for today! haha. ok. i still wanna blog about lifesaving 3 and class chalet. but am too tired to do so ler. haha. I will go and blog about it maybe the nxt time ok? haha. bb.

-jErM

@ 9:43 pm

Sunday, June 10, 2007

weather: cloudy
10th June 2007
music: lesson number 1-mulan soundtracks 2

hey. ok. just got back from training. lifesaving 3 training starts tomorrow. gee man. all the CPRs and what not. heh. gosh. AAAAAAAAAAAA. die ler die ler. haha. i totally forgotten the EPR already. together with all the steps of rescue and dunno what.better do some revision.

Block booking is over also lers. haha. finally, got own time to go at own pace. gotta do lots of studying and clear up all the misconceptions! oh ya. CLASS CHALET COMING. woohoo~ haha. ok wait. I gotta be real careful this year. if not arhh. like last year. erm. yeah. I got stacked(cos of my birthday last year, i didnt get stacked, then the boys come stack me), and got blindfolded, led to outside and kenna thrown by water bombs in the middle of the night.)and the water is DAMN FREAGIN COLD. its from the freezer. haha. I shall post the video here if i ever have the chance. haha. but anyways, better study harder. got a lot to catch up. physics, chemistry, bio. haha. heard from jia hui(e3) and esther(e3) that mr njoo told them that adeline from e2 already completed all the essays in the bio tys. gosh, that means i am so lagging behind. AAA. screams. nevermind. my grades suck. i gotta work hard to push it up. Os are coming. oh ya, speaking of which, really hope that chinese Os can get A1. haha. plsplpslpslpsl. nevermind, must jy for oral! cos it can push up your grade by alot. haha. better jy.

whew. lifesaving 3 with class chalet. Hmm. wonder what are the guys gonna do there this year. oh ya. and flute chalet also. on the 22nd. ahha. screams screams. cant wait mann. nevermind. what i more look forward to, (call me sick), is the mock exams coming on term 3. I cant wait to excel in all of them. gosh. really gotta show myself that i got talent. TJC requires 6 points this year to get in. MJC requires 10 points to get in. both all the pro jcs. haha. better buck up. Hmm. meanwhile, shall go find the video to post first. and then. work. Supposed to be studying with don today, but didn call him. oh well. guess its on my own again. hahaha. catch you guys aruond.

-jErM

@ 10:18 am

Thursday, June 07, 2007

weather: BRIGHT AND SUNNY XDD
7th June 2007
Music: Lesson number 1- Mulan 2

hey.Later going cycling cycling. yeah yeah. haha. okok~ wees~ but just blogging a bit then i am going off to do my work alreaady. haha. i can finally get to use dad's bike! haha. his bike has gears and what not der lorhss. haha. WEEHOO~~ lalalala. Finaly, haha, mum's bike too small for me! haha. yeah. so past few days whenever go cycling not having an easy time to start. haha. okok. enough about that. time for my thoughts.

well, this few days, i think i've been thinking quite a bit. about everything that is happening around me. you know what? i think that i've bothered too many ppl too much. and by looking back, i really hate it. I dont know why, bothering ppl is so irritating. thats what i find. i dont mind ppl bothering me, but i dont really like bothering ppl. thats me. call it weird, but hey, thats me. you know something, whenever there are problems present, i wanna solve it on my own. because every problem is a challenge. That is what i take challenges as. i dont really need ppl to symphtise me, or comfort me whatsoever when i talk about them. Take for example, that day i was talking to wei jun online, then i asked him whether flute playing will be affected if 2 months of not touching it. He asked me to stop comforting myself. and stop brooding over it. you know, somehow, it made me think quite a bit. Throughout this year, all i have been doing is brooding over problems. now looking back, i like ask myself laa, what the hell am i doing? bothering me and what not. everyone has their own busy lives to lead, and here i am asking ppl to comfort me or what not. you know, comforting is ok. but I do not like the word symphatise. I DO NOT NEED PPL TO SYMPHATISE ME ON MY PROBLEMS. PLEASE LAA. I can solve my problems on my own. really derhhs. if i ever need help i can always ask around. There is once a saying that ever went:

"failure is the mother of success" -by some dead guy

yeah. this year especially, i've met with so many failures already. Beit on relationships, academics(didnt fail, but really really TOO below my expectations), or band(like the TJ audition). you know what? I'd better really stop brooding over my problems but think up of solutions to solve them. yeah. I do not need ppl to symphatise me. really derhhs. you know what?

sometimes, some ppl ask about problems that is going on. then one of them ask me to explain to them. then they say that i am complaining to them and go and solve my own problems whatsoever. cos sometimes, the problem is so complicated, yet they think that it is so simple. so when i explain, what i get back is, that i want to be symphatised, etc etc.and the best part is, i havent even talk to these ppl for a very long time already about any problems. and the long time is really a VERY VERY VERY long time already.

well, i've my own problems. I solve it myself.Comforting sometimes i do need, but i do not need ppl to symphatise me. i see the word symphatise as like beggar you know? is like you trying to beg ppl to go. "aww, poor thing, come let me help you do it."
I mean come on laa, i am already on this earth for 16 years. I can do things by myself!

so after the chat with wei jun and some serious thinking through, you know what? i am not gonna look for any comforting what soever anymore. I am gona solve it my way, my own. haha. like the TJ audition thingy. haha, i screwed up real bad inside there. though ppl dont believe, but i really did. so you know what? haha, i am going back into that band by results and prove it to them that i am not some sec 2 guy who went there that day to ban men nong fu!(it means like some amateur going in front of a pro and act that he is better than him) Yeah. haha, and the thoughts excites, exhilarates and thrills me loads. I am so much in a better mood to study. haha, whenever i think that i am tired, wanna give up and go to the com and slack, this thoughts really gets me going. haha. yeah yeah. so thank you wj!

so right now, if i meet with failure whatsoever, i think i will be on my own comforting myself. something in i am gifted so are you.. let me quote.

this person is there when you shout for joy when you get good results.
This person is there to brood with you when you meet with setbacks.
this person knows all your deepest darkest secrets.
this person know about all the bad things that you've done.
this person is there when you are born.
this person is there to suffer with you when you are sick.
this person knows whatever you like.
this person knows whatever you hate.
this person knows you the best.


you know who is that person? that is yourself. you understand yourself. you are the only person who is there for youreslf. when you die, your parents or best friends are not going to go along with you. you go to heaven(for the christians) or hell(for the taoists[its a religon kindda thingy]) all by yourself. No one is gonna be there for you except the time you are alive. and the only person who will always be there for you, well, maybe your parents. but they cant be there all the time. you only have yourself to depend on. When a person is alive, it is whether you live a friutful life that counts. really. so you know what? if you are there, dont ever indulge in self pity for too long. took me 6 months to wake up! haha. yeah yeah!
cant wait cant wait to study! weeeeeeeee~ haha. real shiok.

oh ya. 1 more thing. whatever is happening in your life now right, its all created by you! not by any one else. I wont blame anyone else for anything anymore. You know. I really hate to keep secrets. Some how or other, when the situation turns crazy, you really have no chance but to say it out. so you know what? haha. i'd better learn to shuddap! haha. yeah yeah! cos you know why? you got whatever that you suck in, it is better that you go and work it out and solve it.

as i've once heard, got something you not happy with, then change it. stop brooding over it. haha. TJTJTJTJTJJTJTJTJTJJTJJ! OH YEAH!

haha. but of course, I may change my mind also. but nevertheless, feeling so hyped up now! hahah. WEE HOO~. well. gonna go off lers. OH YA! i change the song already! the tune is so nice. haha. got a sudden craze of mulan songs.

thank you wj! thank you the ppl who said abou the symphtetic thingy! thank you so much for teaching me so much. really derhs. =D. oh ya! and donovan for keep on hearing me drool on and on about some lame problems. if this sunday come, I will be focused. i promise! XD.

-jErM