Monday, May 31, 2010

Saturday Centus - Week 4 - DEEP

This post is linked Saturday Centus - A 100 word story based on a prompt. The prompt is in bold below.
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I turned away from my 90 year old Father to talk to a friend in the waiting crowd.

When I turned back, moments later, I saw only his abandoned walker.

A security guard noticed my confusion…“May I help you, miss? You look puzzled.”

“Mmmm… thank you, I’m just looking for my father. We came in together a moment ago, but he seems to have wandered off.”

I was startled from my search for him when a percussion of horns and drums inspired the quiet crowd into a roar!

The marching bands tread accompanied a rousing version of The Battle Hymn of the Republic.

The Memorial Day Parade had started!

My eyes widened when I saw my Father, leading the band proudly, age-spotted hands steadily holding the flagpole displaying our American Flag.

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I share with you this quote by Arthur Ashe in honor of Memorial Day. “True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost.”
Click here to visit the rest of the cool stories linked to this prompt!

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Sunday, May 30, 2010

Saturday Centus - Week 4 - SHALLOW!

This post is linked Saturday Centus - A 100 word story based on a prompt. The prompt is in bold below.

I had stopped to say hello to a frizzle-haired woman with cherries-in-the-snow lipstick bleeding into the little crevices around her lips.

The orderly must have recognized my look of confusion.

“May I help you, miss? You look puzzled.”

“Mmmm… thank you, I’m just looking for my father. We came in together a moment ago, but he seems to have wandered off.”


We had just taken a short walk around the care facility. Dad had gotten a confused look on his face when the frizzle-haired woman had said hello to him in a deep and raspy voice.

I quickly walked to Dad’s room to find him sitting on his bed fumbling with a bottle of pills.

Our eyes met.

Mine widened when I saw the little, blue pill in my Fathers hand.

Click here to visit the rest of the cool stories linked to this prompt!

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Get your motor running...

...so you can head to Lowes to buy some paint stripper.

We heard a rumor that one of our neighbors was moving and they were going to have a garage sale yesterday.

So...

I made Mr. Jenny get out of bed and come with me.

We drove by the house but there were no signs out and so we wandered through the rest of our neighborhood looking for garage sales. We stopped at some...nothing cool...

And when we went back by the neighbors house, the side gate was open and there was a small cardboard sign by the road that said "Garage Slae".

I figured that was close enough, so we went in the gate.

Ummm...

OK. These people have seriously wayyyy too much money. He is an attorney and most of their stuff was pretty contemporary. But dirt cheap. And we got to see the entire house in the process of her showing us the things for sale! I always love a free house tour when I can get one!

On the way through my husband spied a really cool old-fashioned desk chair which he grabbed for 20 bucks and I saw this bench and table set. It is made out of an old bed.

I told Mr. Jenny I was going to buy it for 40 bucks. He looked puzzled.

This is probably why.
But look how cool the set is. Minus the HD flame stuff.

The lady we bought it from said she had paid someone 200 dollars to paint it up with the Harley logo.

And I'm probably going to pay 10 bucks for stripper to take it off!

We also bought a bookcase and a bunch of kids books and some cool measuring spoons and a giant wicker hamper.

I'm linking this post up to Debbie Doo's Week 3 of Garage Salen! You can visit her blog but just clicking here!


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Saturday, May 29, 2010

Saturday Centus - Week 4

Jenny Matlock
Welcome to the fourth week of Saturday Centus.

This is a themed writing meme.

Each Saturday you will be giving a new "prompt" for the week and you have the entire week to link your work to the meme and you can link more than one story if you like.

Mr. Jenny has taken over the writing of the prompts and I suspect he will really make us stretch our imaginations!

Each linked essay must be 100 words or less, not including the "prompt" words. No pictures should be used. No profanity. The prompt words can be used in any place within your story but must be left intact.

Please display link button or just a hyper-link back to Saturday Centus. Be careful to link your SC URL to the Linky and not just link to your main blog.

I would suggest that since these are so short, if you can't think of a title just use your blog name as the title in the Linky.

And it would be great if you would try and visit the rest of the links. Actually, it will be fun for you because they were wonderful last week for sure!

Please e-mail me directly with ???'s or ask your question in a comment and I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.

WEEK 4 PROMPT
“May I help you, miss? You look puzzled.”

“Mmmm… thank you, I’m just looking for my father. We came in together a moment ago, but he seems to have wandered off.”


This link will be live until next Saturday morning around 7 am. And please, remember to link to your SC URL...not your main blog. If you are unsure how to do this please leave me a message in the comments or e-mail me and I'll help you through it! Have fun!

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Friday, May 28, 2010

I am challenged by change...

...and sometimes I am actually frightened by it.

There are moments when I want to cling to what I know...to resist the ongoing metamorphisis of my life against changes as constant as the ebb and flow of the tide.

W. H. Auden wrote "We would rather be ruined than changed; We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die".

Often in my life those words could have been written about me. That great, looming fear of the unknown was, quite frankly, more powerful than any possibility.

But over the years, life taught me that resistance is futile. You go along for the ride...willing or unwilling...there aren't a whole lot of other options available except going along for the ride.

Some years ago I was sitting in a family group meeting for Narcotics Anonymous. It was a difficult time and an almost unbearable situation to be in as a parent.

The moderator for the meeting said something that really challenged my thought process. He said to begin to understand how difficult it is for people to change we should all try folding our hands together opposite of how we always do it. He said, "it will feel weird, it will feel wrong, and you will want to fold your hands the other way because that is what you know."
And he was right.

It did feel weird.

It did feel wrong.

And I struggled through the rest of that emotional meeting trying to keep my hands folded differently.

Lately it seems that there is a lot of struggle all around me. In my family, in the world, in friends struck by sadness and grief.

And sometimes I find myself almost angry. And exhausted from trying to accept so many changes all the time.

Sometimes I just want a moment to get my bearings...and to have, perhaps, five minutes to exhale before the tide changes again.

But life isn't really like that.

This morning when I went to a neighbors house to help her pick peaches from her over-laden trees, the desire to slow things down was on my mind. While I was picking peaches I realized how often I'd done this before. On different trees. In different places. With different people.

And yet some part of it remained the same...

There was still the astonishing burst of sweetness when you bite into the sun-warmed fruit, and the juice running down your chin, and the sticky fingers, and the intoxicating fragrance, and the excited buzzing of the bees. The gloss of the leaves was the same, the steps of the ladder were the same, the sense of losing your balance trying to reach just one more perfect peach slightly beyond the stretch of your hand...all the same.

Henry David Thoreau wrote, "Things do not change; we change."

But do we?

Do we change, or do we add more layers of awareness every time that tide goes in and out?

Or do we just learn to adapt quicker and less emotionally with the ebb and the flow.

I'm not really sure.

What I do know is that when I try and fold my hands in the opposite way, it just doesn't ever really feel right at all.

And I'm wondering if maybe I just need to practice.

And I'm wondering if I practice a lot how long it will take for my hands to feel right.

And how long it will take for change to feel like nothing more than a sun-warmed peach in my hand. ...
...

PS. I am fine. Just feeling philosophical. And wanting to share these deep thoughts with you.

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Thursday, May 27, 2010

S is for Simple, Sweet wreath

Good morning! This post is linked to the letter "S" on Alphabe-Thursday! You can click here to read all the other Stupendous S posts for the week, too!

I wanted to show you how to make a simple, sweet, inexpensive wreath using a wreath form, a tiny bit of ribbon and your glue gun!

First, grab a little bucket and go out to your garden.
Gather up a bunch of the dried hollyhock blossoms from the stalks of hollyhocks. You can just pluck the dried ones off the stalk.

I also cut a few of the blossom tips off where the green seed pods are showing for a little extra ornamentation on my wreath.

Haul your little bucket to your work area (if you can do this outside I'd recommend it) and grab your wreath form, scissors, ribbon and glue gun. Attach your ribbon loop by going around the wreath form and then tie the ribbon into a knot. Secure the loop to the wreath with hot glue. Start securing blossoms around the wreath. I found it more effective to put glue on the form and then a bit extra on the blossom to make it more secure. I also put an extra blossoms randomly on top to hide any bits of the wreath form showing through.

If you want to use the dried blooom tips gather several together into an attractive little bunch and either wire or tie the bunch together with ribbon. Using copious amounts of glue attach the bloom spray to the wreath form and continue to build around it with dried blossoms.
Continue until the wreath form is completely covered!

And....ta da.... simple, sweet, inexpensive...

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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Alphabe-Thursday "S"

Good morning class! It's going to be a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious day because our letter this week is the letter:
This week I will reverse the order again. If your first name starts with the letters A - L please start reading the even posts first starting with link number 2.

If your first name starts with the letters M - Z please start reading the odd posts first starting with link number 1.

I also want to let you know that each week I visit every blog. I noticed a blog today where my comment didn't show up. If it appears I haven't visited your blog by Sunday night, please let me know, because it is important to me to make sure you know I've visited you!

If you have any difficulties with your link please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find them otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you.

The McLinkey will be live from 6:00 pm MST time Wednesday night through 8:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog (since there are prizes involved and it makes my life easier that way), PG posts only, and try to visit all the other students according to the letter of your first name! The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Class is dismissed. You may swiftly file your "S" posts now, class!

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Saturday Centus - Week 3

This post is linked to Saturday Centus Week 2. A 100 word story based on a prompt. The prompt is in bold below.

I look back over my shoulder, squinting into the late afternoon sun, gawking with stunned alarm at the broad rolling muddy waters of the Mississippi.

This was going to be harder then I thought. I looked at the crowd of cheering rednecks, clutching sweating long-neck beers in meaty hands.

“OK, girl, get a grip,” I told myself.

I hadn’t shelled out almost 100 grand for my gastric bypass, tummy tuck, butt lift, and Double EE’s to be shy.

I stripped off my tight white tee-shirt and dove into the sticky brown mud with the other bikini clad Mississippi River Mudfest Wrestlers!


Make sure you read the rest of the story links HERE ! Don't be afraid to go look. None of the other ones are about middle aged frumpy women dreaming about having a mud wrestling body!

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Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Garage Sale Giveaway Winners

Good morning!

So... Mr. Random Org got out of his cranky mood and helped me pick two winners for the little "Done with the Garage Sale Celebration Giveaway!"

The winner of the casserole dish is:

True Random Number Generator
Min: 1
Max: 306
Result: 291


Donna B said...
Oh I would love to win the casserole dish. I am a huge garage sale fan. Gave them for years while raising my two daughters alone. I used to have a box of free stuff for the kids who came with their parents. I would have grocery bags for $5 or $10 for however much they could stuff in it without ripping. I was always impressed with Hispanic men. They always bought for their wives and children. Generally speaking, there was always one special person who was in need and I too would play it forward and give it away free. The money I raised at yard sales really helped me when I needed it most.

And the winner of the mystery prize is:

True Random Number Generator
Min: 1
Max: 306
Result: 104


Which is this post!

CherylK said...
I'm reading these posts backwards as I'm trying to catch up from being away for almost two weeks. I have to say, reading posts backwards is kinda fun! The colored stickers and your granddaughter story is hilarious! Bless her little heart...

Congratulations Donna and Cheryl. Please e-mail your mailing address to me at: jennymatlock at cox dot net so I can get your prizes mailed off to you!

Thanks for participating everyone!

It was fun to share my garage sale shenanigans with you!

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Story-Time Tuesday Chapter 6

If you missed STORIES FROM HOME - Chapter 5 just click here.

Jenny Matlock

STORIES FROM HOME - Chapter Six

When the sun came up over the mountain the next morning, the few tiny chips of white paint left on the house turned a lovely shade of pink.

And the hopeful little house waited.

The sun rose higher in a sky filled with horse-tail clouds and edged the cool, lovely summer leaves in lemony-yellow light.

And the hopeful little house waited.

The sadness inside the little house from being lonely for so long grew into worry as the minutes ticked by. And as time continued to pass, the little house agonized even more. “What if the children don’t want to stay? What if the children don’t like me?” the little house wondered.

But, just when the hopeful little house thought it could not bear to wait any longer, it heard the chatter of children!

Listening very carefully, the little house realized that was actually only the sweet murmur of a single child.

Everyone who has ever been around small children knows, there is nothing quite as tender as a child with tousled, morning hair and bright, shining eyes, chattering and planning adventures for a late spring morning .

“Julia! Riley! Wake up!” Morgan stood on the mattress with her hands fisted on her hips and a determined look on her face. “Julia! Riley! Come on! Get up!”

With a giant yawn, Julia poked her head out from under the quilt and opened one big, blue eye.

“Morgan, lay down!” she grumbled.

“Julia! Riley! Let’s go!”

With a colossal stretch, Riley reluctantly opened both gray-blue eyes and looked around. Remembering where they were, she sat up quickly and pulled her little sister down beside her.

Both girls looked curiously around the small room they had slept in. The white sheets pulled from the bed the night before lay crumpled by a small door that looked like it might be a closet. The sunlight could hardly find its way inside the two grimy windows, but in the faint light the two girls could still see wallpaper covered in faded pink roses decorating the walls. The bed and three other pieces of furniture covered in old sheets filled the remaining space in the bedroom. A quilt in washed out colors of pink, purple and green covered the tall, old bed and their sleeping sister, Julia.

As Riley and Morgan whispered excitedly about their discoveries, Julia finally opened her eyes. Rubbing the sleep from them, she suddenly remembered where she was and sat up quickly. Climbing down from the tall mattress, she stumbled over to one of the windows to look outside. Her sisters jumped down and joined her.

The girls saw the blue-mirrored water they had splashed in yesterday. And from this high perch, they could also see that the little pond was at the edge of a woods, at the edge of a mountain.

No matter the circumstances, children have a strong sense of adventure and these three little girls were no exception.

And no matter the circumstances, big sisters will be big sisters, and Julia was no exception either!

“Morgan, Riley, pull the dust sheets off the furniture,” she ordered. The small door in the corner of the room was, indeed, an empty closet and Julia rolled up the discarded sheets and put them inside as her sisters began their assigned task. The first cloud of dust revealed a small dresser with a marble top now gleaming in the light from the windows. Uncovering the small rocking chair and table, more dust filled the room making the girls cough and sputter. As soon as the remaining sheets were shoved into the closet, the girls escaped the dust and continued their exploration.

The other two doors at the top of the steps opened into bedrooms as well. Both were filled with furnitured covered in sheets. One cozy rooms was decorated with faded yellow roses and the other with pale purple violets.

But since it wasn’t bedtime, and since the three little girls weren’t tired, and since there was a whole bunch of things to still explore, the girls just closed the doors and headed down the stairs.

With a thud and a thump they all jumped from the second step into the little hallway they had been in last night.

Two doorways opened from the hallway. Julia peered through the doorway on the right to see a small living room. Riley glanced in the doorway on the left to see an ancient kitchen.

Julia took Morgan’s hand and pulled her into the living room with Riley following close behind. The room was filled with dust-sheeted furniture and a gray, stone fireplace. A single, large window drew the girls like a magnet. Rubbing peepholes into the grime with their fists, the little girls peered outside to see a weed-filled yard stretching away beyond a weathered and worn front porch.

An open doorway in the corner of the living room led into the kitchen. Chipped white cupboards lined one wall. A white metal table surrounded by four red chairs was the only furniture in the room, but a giant, black stove took up most of the remaining space. The girls were puzzled to see a dark red hand pump bolted to the counter beside a chipped, white enamel sink. Red and white checkered fabric hung in tatters from the small window behind it.

Morgan peeked through another open doorway in the room and let out a squeak when she saw it led back to the hallway. She took off running from the kitchen to the hallway to the living room to the kitchen again. She was on her second time around when she saw her sisters had opened a back door in the kitchen and were heading outside.

To be continued on Tuesday, June 1.

(c) 2010 Jennifer R. Matlock
This publication is the exclusive property of Jennifer R. Matlock and is protected
under the US Copyright Act of 1976 and all other applicable international, federal, state and local laws. The contents of this post/story may not be reproduced as a whole or in part, by any means whatsoever, without consent of the author, Jennifer R. Matlock. All rights reserved.

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Monday, May 24, 2010

Lewis Carroll said...

"Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

And I totally get Mr. Carroll's point of view here.

I get a lot of e-mails asking me this recurrent question after particularly strange blog posts..."how do you think of these things?"

And to answer that question I thought I would just tell you a little, true story.

And then perhaps you will understand the curse of having an overactive imagination without an on/off switch.

So...

On Saturday we were getting ready to go to a soccer game. I was scurrying around trying to get snacks packed for the Grands, sneaking into my office to answer another e-mail or two, finding sunscreen...you know the drill.

And our oldest daughter called.

"Mom," she said in a subdued and solemn voice, "I need to talk to you...it's important."

Daughter Nancy usually has a perky happy voice and I was immediately concerned BUT Mr. Jenny was yelling at the other end of the house, "we're late, let's go!" AND our weiner dog, Oskar, was barking at an ominous leaf in the neighbors front yard AND I still needed to find time to tinkle before I ran out the door.

Oops! TMI? Sorry. I was just setting the stage here for the whole overactive imagination experience. So I told her I'd call her back and raced out to the car to save my marriage.

When I got in the car I told Mr. Jenny, "Nancy called and said she has something important to talk to me about. Her voice was all serious and everything!"

He raised his caterpillar-y eyebrow and said, "ohhh?..."

So I tried to call her back on her house phone. It rang and it rang and it rang! Next I called her cellphone. And it rang and it rang and it rang! And then I called our son-in-laws cellphone and it rang and it rang and it rang!

"I wonder what's wrong?" I said to Mr. Jenny.

"I dunno," he replied, "But I'm sure it's nothing."

I tried a few more times. Ring, Ring. No answer.

"Oh no!" I said. "Something is wrong. Maybe Mr. Nancy was in an accident."

I continued to try.

"Maybe she's sick and going to the emergency room! Maybe something happened to her dog, Belle!"

Ring, Ring. No answer.

"Maybe she's mad at me and wants to tell me never to bother her again....what do you think I did? Maybe I hurt her feelings when we were at her house for my birthday!"

Mr. Jenny said "I'm sure it's nothing. And your birthday was almost a month ago."

Ring, Ring. No answer.

"Well you know she was having dinner with her Dad (my ex) last night. I wonder if something is wrong with him. Maybe he has cancer or something. Oh no! Or maybe he told her something about me that she wants to talk about. What am I going to tell her?"

Mr. Jenny just continued to ignore me.

Ring, Ring. No answer.

"Maybe she's mad because I told her I was going to order a lime green girl kayak even though she said she wanted one and that I couldn't get that color! Maybe she thought I was serious! I will totally order a pink one...I just hate her to be mad at me!"

Mr. Jenny just continued to ignore me.

Ring, Ring. And finally, finally she picked up her phone!

"OMG, Nancy!" I screamed into the cellphone, "Are you OK! What's wrong?!?!"

Nancy hesitated a moment and then said "Mom, you know your baking powder biscuit recipe? Mine didn't raise very much and had little brown dots all over the top..."
WHAT?

"Is that the important thing you called about?" I calmly asked Nancy.

"Well, yea, Mom, they just aren't right. Can you talk me through this?"

Mr. Jenny was studiously avoiding eye contact with me.

For the next three or four minutes I talked her through the whole biscuit making process and then she hung up with a "Love ya, Mom, thanks!"

Love ya Mom? Thanks? What kind of goodbye is that from a girl that aged me 10 years in 15 minutes?

A IMPORTANT problem with baking powder biscuits? Seriously.

Mr. Jenny looked at me and raised his eyebrows. "Well, at least she didn't think the biscuits needed to go to the Emergency Room!"

Grrr.....

Grrr.....

Hmmm...

Obviously, he cannot appreciate the anguish I go through on a daily basis being afflicted with OAID.

And yes. OverActiveImaginationDisorder is so a disease. I know it is. I'm sure it is.

Darn...or maybe I just imagined it.

Anyway.

That's how I think of these things.

Being Off On my Tangent is not all about the glamour and fame, my friends.

There is a lot of pain and anguish involved, too.

Sigh...

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Sunday, May 23, 2010

So...you know that lady? (and a giveaway)

The one I told you about all crabby and mean on Thursday trying to buy stuff that wasn't for sale? She came back on Friday! First thing.

When people come to my garage sale I am really nice. I smile at them! I say good morning! Yea, I am all kinds of charming.

But when I saw her walking up I almost didn't.

I almost went into the house.

But...

I decided to be a good, little garage sale hostess and I said, "Good morning!" in my chipper, happy voice...

AND...

She looked sheepish.

AND...

I said, "gosh, weren't you here yesterday? I bet you came back to buy those dishes, didn't you?"

AND...

She looked sheepish. And said, "no", and then bought some stuff without haggling at all and then went off.

AND...

As she was leaving she turned around and SMILED AT ME and said, "Thank you!"

Hmmm....

What the heck was that all about? And there was the lady that I gave all the free stuff on Thursday. She had wanted to buy this little lamp for two dollars but I couldn't make it work so I told her just to take it and if she couldn't figure it out she could just throw it away. Yea. She came back with her two dollars. Said we just didn't turn the switch on. I said "you came all the way back to give me two dollars?" and she said "fair is fair", gave me a hug and left.

And there was this tiny little pregnant girl who was literally counting out pennies to buy this baby calendar and bib set. And I told her just to take them and I thought she was going to cry.

And there was this guy that came in and wanted to buy the benches I had stuff setting on. And got all annoyed when I said they weren't for sale. And said it was "deceptive advertising". Ummm.... OK.

And although I almost thought I would hear from his lawyer for all the emotional trauma I caused him by using a bench that was not for sale...(gasp, the horror of it all) I didn't get served any papers on it...I did however find a little typed note in my front door on Saturday morning telling me to call this number because the people had stopped by the garage sale on Friday and wanted to buy our house. Ummm.... OK. That will be 1 million dollars please...

And there was the lady that came in at the end with residents of some care facility...she had 38 crumpled up 1 dollar bills and asked what she could buy with that and I had Mr. Jenny pretty much fill up her car with everything we had left.

And that was that.

Except for...

I had this cool thing I was going to sell that I've never used and then I pulled it out to do a little giveaway with.

I figured since you couldn't come to my garage sale I would let two of you experience it long distance.

The first prize is this really cool Southern Living at Home casserole dish in a little iron stand in an elegant french vanilla color. I love it. I just have never used it and somehow after six years I doubt very much that is going to change anytime soon!
The second prize is a secret. It will make you laugh. And it will make you a little bit happy. I'm not saying what it is but it is worth about $22.50 - tax not included.

So...

To win I am just going to use all the comments from my recent garage sale posts and put them into the Random Org pot and select two winners.

To win, you have to be a follower of my blog AND any comments to the garage sale posts count. If you've left a comment already on a garage sale post I don't care if you leave another one.

I'll have Mr. RO select the two winners on Tuesday morning. There will be two posts on Tuesday - one for Story-Time Tuesday and the winner announcement...

...and that's all I got! Except for a really cluttery house AND an empty refrigerator...so I'm signing off for now to get all my work done so I can spend the afternoon reading Alphabe-Thursday links!

Yee haw!

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Saturday, May 22, 2010

Saturday Centus - Week 3

Jenny Matlock
Welcome to the third week of Saturday Centus.

This is a themed writing meme.

Each Saturday you will be giving a new "prompt" for the week and you have the entire week to link your work to the meme.

Mr. Jenny has taken over the writing of the prompts and I suspect he will really make us stretch our imaginations!

Each linked essay must be 100 words or less, not including the "prompt" words. No pictures should be used. No profanity. The prompt words can be used in any place within your story but must be left intact.

Please display link button or just a hyper-link back to Saturday Centus. Be careful to link your SC URL to the Linky and not just link to your main blog.

I would suggest that since these are so short, if you can't think of a title just use your blog name as the title in the Linky.

And it would be great if you would try and visit the rest of the links. Actually, it will be fun for you because they were wonderful last week for sure!

Please e-mail me directly with ???'s or ask your question in a comment and I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.

WEEK 3 PROMPT
I look back over my shoulder, squinting into the late afternoon sun, gawking with stunned alarm at the broad rolling muddy waters of the Mississippi,


This link will be live until next Saturday morning around 7 am.


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Friday, May 21, 2010

So… there was this lady…

At the garage sale yesterday.

She was quite irritating. She walked around picking stuff up and asking why we were asking what we were asking. If it was a 50 cent thing she would say “why is this 50 cents?” And I would reply “ummm…because it is.” What I really wanted to say is "because I said so!" But that never worked well with my kids and I suspect it wouldn't have worked well with her either.

After she did this for awhile she decided to focus on some dishes I have on some metal racks, obviously not in the garage sale. At least six feet behind the garage sale tables. But she was quite irritated that I would “taunt” her with these dishes and kept insisting she wanted to know how much they were. Finally, just to make her go away I pretended to check the dishes and said “oh, you’re right, they are for sale…they are $250 for the set. Should I box them up for you?”

I’m a jerk. I’m sorry. And there was this other lady who told us how to find out if bills were counterfeit. She bought 20 bucks worth of stuff. After she was gone I remembered I didn’t check her bill to see if it was fake. It wasn’t. Boy, that was a close call.

And there was a lady who I offered our bags of free stuff to. She looked like she could use free stuff. She asked me what was in there. I said “free stuff”. And she said, “like what kind of free stuff?” And I said I have no idea but it’s free. She didn’t take the free stuff.

The next lady did and she was all excited to get free stuff.

And there were the adorable old people who kind of tottled around with their canes and talked about memories in their wavery voices. I love their stories. I always want to get them a chair and some coffee. And to be honest, I’ve done that more than once.

And there was the guy that kept taking pictures of Mr. Jenny’s 1948 Jeepster. He gave me his number and asked if I could get Mr. Jenny to call him. When Mr. Jenny called him he asked if it would be OK if he brought his Dad over today to look at it. Said his Dad would be really excited to see it…and was it for sale?

And there was the lady that saw the Starbucks Cappucino maker and actually squealed. She stood with her hand on it and called her friend who is looking for one. She said she had to run to the ATM but would be right back to pick it up! Mr. Jenny kinda/sorta told me “I told you so.” Mr. Jenny kinda/sorta may possibly pay for gloating. According to the memory of I have of our marriage vows I am the only one allowed to do that. Ever.

There were the smilers, and the serious people, and the talkers, and the quiet ones. And the ones who grabbed everything in site and then put it all down in different places. There was the guy who picked up the x-box for $25.00 and kept asking me if I was lying about the price?

There was the lady that came up to our little table holding a knife pointed straight at me. I put my hands up and said “don’t kill me!” and she looked at me like I was crazy.

And perhaps I am.

Crazy that is.

Because why in the world would I possibly enjoy this parade of humanity through my garage on a day pushing 100 degrees by noon?

I have no idea why.

But I do!

And it’s starting again in 20 minutes so I’m hitting publish now!

Oh, and bring money. Come buy stuff.

But you can’t buy the Jeepster or the not-for-sale-dishes! So there!

Sigh.


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Thursday, May 20, 2010

R is for Really Random Really's!

Linking up to Alphabe-Thursday for the letter "R" I have three things today...

Some Really gorgeous flowers I picked from my garden yesterday...
...
A Really cute Granddaughter on her last day of pre-school...
...
And a really busy garage sale today...so busy, in fact, we needed a security guard...OK, OK, technically that's my Dad but we gave him grief over this all day...We also called him a Wal-Mart greeter but he wasn't too enamored of that title...



...grand total of sales today was a little over $400 AND the nicest people came by AND my neighbor had some stuff to sell and I found a little desk for our oldest granddaughter for twenty bucks AND I sold the fancy Starbucks coffee maker for $85.00 in the first hour of the sale! Woo hoo!

I hope you enjoyed this Really Random R post of "Really's"!

This post is linked to Alphabe-Thursday's Letter "R"!

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Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Alphabe-Thursday "R"

Good morning class! How nice to see you all in a rare, retired mood and not as rowdy and rambunctious as usual.

Our letter this week is Living in Arizona as I do I was briefly puzzled by the item the children were carrying...less then 4 inches of rain per year in the desert doesn't have us using many of these!

And now I am going to put my stern Mrs. Matlock voice on. Please try and visit as many of the other links as you can! It makes it fun for all! I know there are always exceptions but just make as much effort as you can...Thank you!

This week I will reverse the order. If your first name starts with the letters A - L please start reading the odd posts first starting with link number 1.

If your first name starts with the letters M - Z please start reading the even posts first starting with link number 2.

I also want to let you know that each week I visit every blog. I noticed a blog today where my comment didn't show up. If it appears I haven't visited your blog by Sunday night, please let me know, because it is important to me to make sure you know I've visited you! I may be a bit late visiting this week because of the garage sale but I will definitely be to your blog before Sunday night! Thanks for your understanding with this!

If you have any difficulties with your link please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find them otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you.

The McLinkey will be live from 6:00 pm MST time Wednesday night through 8:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog (since there are prizes involved and it makes my life easier that way), PG posts only, and try to visit all the other students according to the letter of your first name! The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Class is dismissed. Quickly file your R posts now, class!

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If you can see this post clearly...don't read it...

...please...

This post is only for semi-blind people, like me.

People who would walk into the wall if they didn't have their contacts or glasses on.

People who wear coke bottom bottle glasses. But you will only understand this post if you are like this, too.

Then you might, possibly, excuse the fact that I am an idiot.

So...

I've been wearing contact lenses for 46 years. It's true. I got them when I was 8 years old. A horrific experience involving lots of screaming, crying, and restraint. And that was just what my Mother did. It was worse for me. In fact, it was terrifying. And I am still traumatized when I go to the eye doctor.

But...

Yesterday I was putting my contacts in when the phone rang...so I answered it, chatted awhile and then started walking down the hall.

My sight seemed really weird, though, and as I walked toward my office I realized my vision was totally blurred in my left eye.

We have a friend that just had a stroke. Part of the stroke manifested itself in blurred vision.

And that's exactly what I thought.

I shrieked!

I yelled!

Mr. Jenny came running.

"Oh no, oh no!" I screamed. "I think I've had a stroke! My vision is all blurred in my left eye!"

Mr. Jenny looked panicked.

He helped me back to our room and I laid down on the bed.

He asked me to smile...which is what you are supposed to instruct a stroke victim to do.

I yelled at him! "I can't smile!" I shouted dramatically, "I am going blind in my left eye!"

I told him we should call 911, but first he should get me an aspirin. I thought I remembered reading somewhere that you should take one.

He went running into the bathroom.

And came back a few seconds later without it!

"Ahem!" he said in a stern voice.

"Ahem what?" I cried. "Where is my aspirin? I am going to die here!"

And he held out my contact case with the left lense still firmly tucked inside.

Hmmm...

I tried telling him it was an exercise in preparedness...so we would both be ready in case one of us actually DID have a stroke.

He didn't buy it.

I think he glared at me...but I'm not totally sure because I still couldn't see out of my left eye.

He went back to his office.

And left me alone.

In my perilous health condition.

Really.

He did.

And I was seriously embarrassed.

So I just put my left contact lense in and pretended the whole ridiculous mess had never happened in the first place.

But I still feel like a moron because I realized I didn't know how to really tell if someone was actually having a stroke. For real. So I looked it up. And it said if you suspect someone has had a stroke to remember the acronym FAST.

F ace - check for numbness or weakness by asking the person to smile. If the person can't or one side of the face droops, it may mean stroke.

A rms - Ask the person to raise both arms. If one drifts down or can't be raised, it may mean stroke.

S peech - Ask the person to repeat a simple sentence. If it is slurred or hard to understand or the person has trouble remembering the words to repeat, it may mean stroke.

T ime - Get help immediately if you or someone else experiences any of these signs. Call 911 or get the person to the hospital. Time is the most important factor.

So I wanted to share this information with you.

And I figured even if you have 20/20 vision you might read this whole post anyway to see what strange tangent I was off on.

And then you might be better prepared, too, if you ever think someone is having a stroke! Just remember the phrase FAST! And remember it fast! Because speed is important with a stroke.

Unless it's me. And then before you do the FAST thing, ask me if I remembered to put both my contacts in.

And if didn't, please feel free to just hit me in the head.

And don't be doing your "Oh, poor Mr. Jenny thing!" He likes it when I keep him on his toes like this. I know he does. Sure, he doesn't come out and say it but I can tell by the glazed look in his eyes as he is pulling his hair out! So there!

Sigh...

P.S. I am not making light of stroke. I think the possibility is so frightening. But I personally always learn things better when there is humor attached to the lesson and the missing contact seemed to just tie in with the whole subject.

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Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Story Time Tuesday Chapter 5

If you missed STORIES FROM HOME - Chapter Four just click here. Jenny Matlock
STORIES FROM HOME - Chapter Five

Julia held out a halting hand to stop her sisters.

She was unsure what to do.

Since they had started walking, they had only slept inside once. The falling-down shed that had been their temporary shelter had looked nothing like this little house.

Most nights had found the three sisters cuddled into a pile like puppies, finding warmth and safety in tangled limbs. But none of them ever slept well, and as soon as the sun rose in the eastern sky, the grey-pink light awakened the restless girls.

But children are resilient, and although they had made sleeping outside an adventure, the thought of slumber inside a house was breath-taking.

Riley whispered loudly, “Maybe someone lives here!”

And Julia replied, “I don’t think so. I think this is an abandoned house.”

Morgan chimed in, “Julia, what does ‘abandoned’ mean?”

“Morgan, it means no one lives here, ” Julia said.

Morgan shouted, “Then we will!” and took off running toward the little house.

Her sisters quickly followed behind her and caught up with her on the front porch. With great curiosity, they looked around in the fading light.

“Oh,” breathed Riley, who had always had an artistic eye, “Look! The front door was painted red once.”

“Oh,” breathed Julia, who had always had a good imagination, “I bet a family sat here on this very porch drinking lemonade on summer days!”

“Oh!” huffed Morgan, who had always been a little impatient, “I’m going inside!” and she turned the knob and pushed the front door open.

Now sometimes when you go inside a house that’s been empty for a long time, it feels like the ghosts of memories fill up all the space and there is no room left for a welcome.

But sometimes when a house has been long and well-loved, the ghosts of memories are warm, and wrap around you like the comfort of your favorite blanket.

And that is just what all the wonderful memories inside the sad, little house did.

While the sisters stood in the front hallway with their mouths forming perfect “ohs”, the sad, little house thought very, very hard of all the wonderful times when it was filled with chaos and clatter and the chatter of children and the steady, calm voices of a mother and a father.

And the girls felt welcomed. And safe. And although it had been some time since they had felt the emotion, they knew that this little house felt like a home to them.

The girls looked carefully around the hallway in the very last light of the fading day, and they didn’t notice the piles of dead leaves and dirt. In their imaginations, they clearly saw the clutter of shoes and bookbags.

And at first, they thought they were dreaming that there were candles and a little pile of matchbooks on the dusty bottom step, but when Julia reached out to touch them, she discovered they were real. It was just as if someone had left them there for the girls to find.

Julia quickly lit a candle with shaking hands just as the dark, violet-blue rectangle of the doorway turned almost completely black, and then she firmly and quietly shut the door.

Riley and Morgan gathered close by the flickering, golden light for a whispered discussion of what to do next.

They were so tired. And somehow it felt like the right thing to start up the steep staircase together.

At the top of the stairs a small landing offered a choice of three doors.

Again, Julia put out a halting hand. Often the responsibilities of being the oldest weighed heavily on her thin, freckled shoulders. And this choice was no exception.

She hesitated a bit, uncertain of what they might find.

Morgan edged closer to her sister for reassurance. Her dark blue eyes shone with a mixture of curiousity and worry in the candle light.

This time it was Riley whose impatience got the best of her. “We can’t just stand here all night, Julia!” she said in a loud whisper. She reached out and pushed open the door on her right.

There was a bit of creaking as the hinges tried to remember their duties and small, skittering sounds of tiny animal feet running to hide

And as the girls looked around the room lit only by the candle’s dancing light, all three of them gasped in fear.

It took a moment for the girls to realize that the white ghosts filling the room were nothing more than imagination, and furniture covered in white sheets.

Between two little windows was a big, rectangular object. Julia grabbed a corner of the dingy, white cloth covering it. Riley grabbed another corner. And when they pulled, a cloud of dust surrounded them.

Coughing and sputtering, both of the older girls tried to catch their breath. When the dust cleared Julia and Riley saw Morgan already curling up on the giant, old bed.

The soft, worn colors of the old quilt on top of the high mattress looked welcoming, but Riley wanted to explore the rest of the upstairs.

“Morgan! Get up!” Riley said, “We need to look in the rest of the rooms!”

“No!” said Morgan, “I’m hungry. I’m tired. No!”

“Julia? Let’s go explore,” said Riley.

“No,” said Julia, “This feels safe. We can stay here for tonight.”

As soon as all the girls had clambered up onto the big bed, Julia unzipped her backpack and pulled out apples for dinner.

Within minutes, the apples were gone and all three sisters were cuddled into a pile, fast asleep.

And as the fireflies finished their dance under the star-filled sky, the hopeful little house waited anxiously for morning.

To be continued on Tuesday, May 25.

(c) 2010 Jennifer R. Matlock
This publication is the exclusive property of Jennifer R. Matlock and is protected
under the US Copyright Act of 1976 and all other applicable international, federal, state and local laws. The contents of this post/story may not be reproduced as a whole or in part, by any means whatsoever, without consent of the author, Jennifer R. Matlock. All rights reserved.

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Monday, May 17, 2010

More garage sale conversations...

So...

Moving into the pricing phase of the garage sale there are more interesting conversations.

Son: How much should I ask for this?
Me: I dunno. Two dollars?
Son: Two dollars!
Me: Too much? Too little?
Son: I don't know. I was just surprised.
Me: Hmmm...

... and...

Mr. Jenny: Why do you have $40 dollars on this Starbucks cappucino machine?
Me: I thought that seemed fair.
Mr. Jenny: Well, it's in perfect condition.
Me: I know...but it is a garage sale after all.
Mr. Jenny: Well, I think it was almost $400 dollars.
Me: And we got a lot of use out of it.
Mr. Jenny: Well, change the price to $60.
Me: OK.
Mr. Jenny: Well, maybe change the price to $80
Me: OK
Mr. Jenny: Well, change the price to $100
Me: Sigh.
Mr. Jenny: Maybe we should just keep it. (taking it back into the house where it will reside in the cupboard for another 2 1/2 years)

...and...

Neighbor: Hey, are you getting ready for your garage sale?
Me: Ummm....yea.
Neighbor: Well, do you care if I look at stuff?
Me: Ummm... well...ummm.... sure...
Neighbor: Hey, didn't you buy this at my garage sale for $5?
Me: I have no idea.
Neighbor: Well, you have $10 on it...maybe we should split the profit.
Me: Ummm...sure...ummm....I'll get back to you on that.

...and...

Daughter: Hey, does this say $7 ?
Me: Yes
Daughter: Why?
Me: Because it does.
Daughter: Well how much did it cost?
Me: I have no earthly idea.
Daughter: Well did you google it?
Me: ummm.... No.
Daughter: Did you look on e-bay?
Me: ummm.... No.
Daughter: Well how did you know to price it at $7.
Me: ummmm.... Go away now.

...

But my very favorite garage sale pricing story is when our oldest Granddaughter was two. I had read some silly book on organizing a garage sale with multiple people by color coding it. I got all these little round stickers in about 8 different colors and marked every single thing of my sisters and my kids and my parent's neighbors in different colors AND I made a little chart.

Julia, however, thought she would help by taking off about 80% of the stickers.

"Gwamma," she said proudly, grubby fists overflowing with crunched up color coded circles, "Look, I help you!"

I just sold everything, divided up the money and said "yea, that color coding system was not all it was cracked up to be!"

And now, I leave you with this...

An average garage sale in the United States nets $239.46. For about 30 hours of work. Netting around $7.98 per hour. Minus the emotional stress which puts it at around $3.60 per hour. Plus the fun of chatting with 100 total strangers which adds at least $2.00 per hour.

So for $5.60 per hour I am going to give each of my children around sixty bucks.

Hmmm...

If you'll excuse me I think I better go sneak that cappucino maker back out to the garage!

Happy Monday!

Sigh.

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Sunday, May 16, 2010

Conversations about planning a garage sale...



Our kids all have stuff to get rid of and they are all trying to make extra money due to salary cuts, houses not selling, etc. and we have the best garage sale neighborhood in possibly the Universe so...

Instead of donating it all to Goodwill as we have so often done in the past...

A garage sale is happening here on Thursday and Friday.

Here's how we prepare for an event like this at our house.

Once we decide when it's going to be kids start dropping stuff off in boxes. And boxes. And boxes.

And I start going through cupboards thinking of things to get rid of.

And about that time is when the phone calls and conversations start.

Daughter: Mom? Will you be hurt if I sell something you gave me?
Me: No! Will you be hurt if I sell something you gave me?
Daughter: No...ummm....well....what is it?

20 minutes later:

Me: Daughter? You know those plates I have in the cupboard that we bought at that garage sale with the birds on them? Do you want them?
Daughter: Why? Are you going to get rid of them at the garage sale?
Me: Yes...
Daughter: Ohhhh.... well I kind of want them but I don't have any room....
Me: OK, well I'll just keep them then.

20 minutes later:

Mr. Jenny: Ummm.... did you put this in the garage sale pile? (Holding up some hideous plate printed in orange and putrid brown)
Me: Yes.
Mr. Jenny: Well, maybe we should keep it!
Me: Why?
Mr. Jenny: Well, it's sentimental.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know. Who gave it to you?
Mr. Jenny: I don't know but I've had it a long time so maybe I should keep it.

20 minutes later:

Son: Mom? You know that box of garage sale stuff I dropped off?
Me: Yes?
Son: Well, I put this such-and-such in there and it is brown and about 1/2 " tall and I didn't mean to put it in there so can you get it out and save it for me?
Me: Ummm.... sure. Which box is it in?
Son: I'm not sure...one of them.

By text:

Daughter: Do u have all garage sale stuff out?
Me: Not yet. Why?
Daughter: I want to C what there is.
Me: Oh.


And then there are these conversations when they actually see the boxes of stuff in the garage:

Kid: Mom?!?
Me: WHAT!?!
Kid: Did you see so-and-so is selling such-and-such I gave them.
Me: Why? Did you want it back?
Kid: No, but...
Me: Well, aren't you selling such-and-such so-and-so gave you?
Kid: Yea, but...

...and...

Mr. Jenny: Do you know you put all these books in the garage sale pile?
Me: Yes? And?
Mr. Jenny: Well, I might want to read them someday.
Me: You want to read a love story between a mutant and an alien with three eyes from Galaxy 17?
Mr. Jenny: Well, OK, probably not that one...I'll put it back.
Me: Sigh.

And in this pile of mish-mash stuff is some weird things. Things like the grill from an old jeep that I bought at a garage sale thinking Son #2 would like it hanging on his garden wall with vines trailing through it.

Ummm.... not so much.

Things like all the beat up stuff I bought to help the neighbors son at his Eagle Scout garage sale thinking I might someday need 4 sets of fairly hideous old silverware.

Ummm.... not so much.

Things like 43,619 baseball hats, many of which are adorned in support of giant pumpkin growers everywhere! Don't ask! Do you need one?

Ummmm.... not so much?

Things like a 3 1/2 foot tall stack of National Geographics. If you're around my age you might remember looking through them to see naked natives many years ago. I thumbed through a few of them, saw a few naked natives and was it as thrilling?

Ummmm.... no so much!

So I'm heading out to start putting stuff on tables and pricing things.

And sometimes when I actually start getting stuff out of boxes is when the real fun starts!

But I'll tell you about that tomorrow.

I have a date with a sharpie and a roll of blue masking tape!

Happy Sunday!

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Saturday, May 15, 2010

Jenny M's Saturday Centus

This post is linked to Saturday Centus Week 2. A 100 word story based on a prompt. The prompt is in bold below.

The small Cessna 172 picked up speed as it roared down the runway, Sara at the controls, the flight instructor beside her.

Finally something wonderful had happened breaking the run of bad luck Sara had been living for so long.

When the Flight Instruction School had called, Sara had almost hung up.

Until she looked at the caller ID, Sara had been certain that the call about winning 10 flying lessons was a hoax!

This first flight was the introduction to the package and Sara felt giddy!

As the ground unfolded below the Cessna, Sara was startled to feel the plane shudder.

Turning to question the instructor, Sara was shocked to see him slumped against the controls...either dead or unconscious...

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Saturday Centus - Week 2

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Some weeks are like that...

It's been one of those weeks.

Not quite a terrible, horrible, very bad, no good week...

...but darned close.

So, I wanted to write this long, whining post today so that you would all say..."poor Jenny, poor, poor Jenny" because frankly, a pity party sounded like a pretty festive event to attend.

And I told Mr. Jenny I was going to do this and he said, "Don't."

To which I queried, "Why not?"

To which he said, "Don't."

So...

I went to bed last night without any post in mind, thwarted by Mr. Jenny's obvious need to control blog whining.

Sigh...

So he should not have been surprised at all when I woke him at 4:39 am to ask him this:

"If I can't write about my almost terrible, horrible, very bad, no good week what can I write about?"

And with his voice muffled by his pillow he replied, "Oh sheep! What time is it?"

So I thought and thought I really didn't want to write about sheep! So I poked him again.

And repeated my question.

And this time he replied with a muffled "zzzzz zzzzzz zzzzzzz..."

And I thought and thought but I really didn't want to write about bees either! So...

I have nothing to write about today.

Nothing, I tell you.

But don't be mad at me.

It is Mr. Jenny who deserves the anger.

No whining? Sheep and bees? Geez. How can anybody write with all those restrictions?

And just to salvage this post from total worthlessness...

I heard that remark you made under your breath just now, by the way...did you say "as if?"

...

As I was saying...to salvage this post I am going to end by telling you who the winner of the Alphabe-Thursday giveaway is for the letters: N, O, P, Q!

True Random Number Generator

Min: 1
Max: 308
Result:
6


Link 6 is this one from Julie! from her Abecedarium of demise series!

Julie, e-mail me and we'll set up your prize!

And now I am off...to wrap up this almost terrible, horrible, very bad, no good week.

And just so you know...

No husbands were sleep deprived for the making of this post. He conked back out and slept for another couple of hours.

So there!

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Q is for Queen Anne's Lace


QUEEN ANNE'S LACE

In summers haze the dusty roads
are trimmed with Queen Anne’s lace.
Like bridal aisles, bedecked, adorned
with vintage nuptial grace.

Do you recall your childhood hours,
golden sunshine on your face,
when you made bouquets and fairy bowers,
festooned with Queen Anne’s lace?

I hope that in your memories,
you can recall the time and place
when all the dusty country roads
were trimmed in Queen Anne’s lace?

Written by Jenny Matlock, May 12, 2010 and linked to Alphabe-Thursday'S letter "Q"

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