Hi everyone, haha I am making a shocking appearance by once again signing in to my blogger account and typing this entry (something i havent done in ages!) haha to those who have given up on reading my blog due to its prolong stagnation, they shall perhaps not get to see this! Lol. However, to my faithful readers who visit even those the first thing you see are stupid pictures of me haha here I am! Well, I am not trying to revive this blog or anything. Guess I cant make promises that I may not keep. But I am attempting to keep a good habit by recounting issues, and hopefully re-learn to reflect at the same time (a lost art indeed). Oh, not to forget my desperate need to improve my writing skills for GP. Heh. I would not be surprise if I sound different from how I use to blog, haha cos things have changed within and without and in this case, my writing style may have had several drastic modifications haha and also my "world-view" and outlook in life, these I believe will be clearly reflected as I continue blogging frequently, if i do that is. Lol. Yet things are certainly getting busier and more demanding, hence I dare not assume the frequency of my blogging to be high yet i'll try my best.

Oh, if you didnt just realise, I ended a major part of my life just one month ago. After training for 6 years running has been a integral part of my lifestyle i guess. Whether it is monotonous, tedious or torturous is an entirely different issue. But given the amount of time I've spent in it, I guess ending it does have its impact in my life. Maybe not so much, cos ironically, after i stopped training i begin to realise how much i love to run and start running on my own and all. Yet its a totally different experience cos its so much more carefree and relaxing when you set your own time and target. Its amusing, however that I never actually did appreciate how much it has groomed, prepared and strengthened me all these while. Enough of the nostalgic stuff, but i ended my "running career" not entirely on a high note. Our team came in team 3rd and a rather dismal 12th individual position. The day didnt go too well, in fact it was rather scary cos I suffered the worst in my 5 years of national cross experience for the fact is that i almost fainted due to dehydration after the run. Yet things to be thankful for includes strength and grace to complete the race and give my best shot (thats all i asked for from Him) and healing and recovery from a traumatic post-run experience. Enough of the bad/sad stuff, its good to at least be able to let go of it and move on perhaps, to other areas of life to work on..

Guess what makes up a large part of my life now is my studies. Its totally unlike me to complete tutorials and pay attention during lectures but after i've decided to settle down after my nationals i am glad i have the discipline to do so. (: i should say that i have been working hard and amidst the pressure that my parents, teachers and peers are giving me, a personal determination to work hard has been the major forces driving me on. Life's quite a monotony and bore right now though, yet it is only if i am able to adapt myself fully to it that i will be prepared to give 100% in it. There is certainly alot more to be said about my aspirations, my goals and my targets and of course my insecurities and worries but i shall leave that to the next few entries, if there are more to come hehe.

Haha i guess those reading this entry, the majority at least have more concerns about my state of life that the seemingly superficial or obvious aspects of my life. I cannot say that there isnt more to my life than this yet i would not be speaking untruth if i were to say that my life has been that and well, that. Haha, for the very fact is i have been on the run continuously endlessly and purposelessly? to the point there isnt room for much more. If there is one area that I have changed significantly, it is the lack of reflection and rest and that explains an obvious absence of a Presence in my life. I would still be rather effective, I believe, in discussing and conveying theories and beliefs and philosophies because there is a large storehouse of knowledge at the back of my head, but they are, perhaps, not given its due place and priority. If there is any consolation, if it is at all, it is the fact that i am trying to figure and sort things out and perhaps straighten this life of mine. It just may take some, more time.

My head kinda hurts now actually. Guess I have been using this part of it for a fairly long time. Just pondering and contemplating on my recent past strains the part of my brain that has grown rusty and stagnant. Haha. I shall return to my books for now (: