Sunday, October 02, 2005
sithlordcbw
hello there!
my sis site, www.sithlordcbw.blogspot.com has been refurnished as it s BETTER THAN EVER!!!
so go now!
xcBw is wasting her time at 9:53 AM x
] x sHall nEva Be aParT x [
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Viola/violin jokes (Part Two)
Part Two. Comments pls.
Why do violists leave their instrument cases on the dashboards of their cars?
So they can park in "handicapped" parking places.
If someone mistakes them for mafia, they might get some respect.
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Why don't violists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
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Why do violists smile when they play?
Because ignorance is bliss and what they don't know can't hurt them.
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Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering?
Because if they get lost, it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a crushed viola in the road?
Skid marks before the skunk.
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How do you get a violin to sound like a viola?
Sit in the back and don't play.
Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes.
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If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first? (two answers)
The violist. The soprano would have to stop halfway down to ask directions.
Who cares?
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A conductor and a violist are standing in the middle of the road. which one do you run over first, and why?
The conductor. Business before pleasure.
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What's the most popular recording of the William Walton viola concerto?
Music Minus One
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
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What is the range of a Viola?
As far as you can kick it.
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What do a SCUD missile and a viola player have in common?
They're both offensive and inaccurate.
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Why are violas so large?
It's an optical illusion. It's not that the violas are large; just that the viola players' heads are so small.
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What's the difference between a chain saw and a viola?
If you absolutely had to, you could use a chain saw in a string quartet.
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What is the definition of a cluster chord?
A viola section playing on the C string.
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Why do violists get antsy when they see the Kama Sutra?
All those positions!
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If you're lost in the desert, what do you aim for? A good viola player, a bad viola player or an oasis?
The bad viola player. The other two are only figments of your imagination.
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Why shouldn't you drive off a cliff in a mini with three violas in it?
You could fit in at least one more.
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How many violists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They're not small enough to fit.
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Why do people tremble with fear when someone comes into a bank carrying a violin case?
They think he's carrying a machine gun and might be about to use it.
Why do people tremble with fear when someone comes into a bank carrying a viola case?
They think he's carrying a viola and might be about to use it.
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What's the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section?
half a measure
a semi-tone
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Why can't you hear a viola on a digital recording?
Recording technology has reached such an advanced level of development that all extraneous noise is eliminated.
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Did you hear about the violist who bragged that he could play 32nd notes?
The rest of the orchestra didn't believe him, so he proved it by playing one.
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Why is viola called "bratsche" in Germany?
Because that's the sound it makes when you sit down on it.
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Why can't a violist play with a knife in his back?
Because he can't lean back in his chair.
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What instrument do violists envy most?
The harp. You only ever have to play pizzicato on open strings.
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What's another name for viola auditions?
Scratch lottery.
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What is the difference between a violist and a prostitute?
A prostitute knows more than two positions.
Prostitutes have a better sense of rhythm.
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What is the similarity between a violist and a prostitute?
Both are paid to fake climaxes.
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How do you get a dozen violists to play in tune?
Shoot 11 of them.
Shoot all of them.
Who the hell wants a dozen violists?
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What's the latest crime wave in New York City?
Drive-by viola recitals.
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How does a violist's brain cell die?
Alone.
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How do you call a violist with two brain cells?
Pregnant.
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Why do violists have pea-sized brains?
Because alcohol has swelled them.
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How many violists does it take to make a batch of chocolate chip cookies?
Ten. One to stir the batter and nine to peel the M & M's.
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What's the similarity between the Beatles and the viola section of the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra?
Neither has played together since 1970.
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What is the longest viola joke?
Harold in Italy
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What do you call a bunch of violists in a hot tub?
Vegetable soup.
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Did you hear about the violist who played in tune?
Neither did I.
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What is the main reqirement at the "International Viola Competition?"
Hold the viola from memory.
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Why did the violist marry the accordion player?
Upward mobility.
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How do you transcribe a violin piece for viola?
Divide the metronome marking by 2.
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Why do you always bury a viola player three feet under?
Because deep down they are all very nice people.
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How do you keep a violist from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
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xcBw is wasting her time at 1:51 AM x
] x sHall nEva Be aParT x [
Thursday, July 28, 2005
violin dilemma
sorry couldnt blog yesterday...my internet down for some reason...
im in a dilemma,,,should i buy the 5k violin, or the 8.5k one? well certainly, the 8.5k one is LOADS better, but highly expensive=P
photos of both of them
the 5k one.
the 8.5k one.
xcBw is wasting her time at 6:42 AM x
] x sHall nEva Be aParT x [
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
lalalalol
lalala....2morrow ensemble prac 12.30-2.30. science OBA tot i could skip it...
2morrow science Open Book Physics Assessment! im not all that confident but at least its open book. can bring ANY thing u want.
dunno whether should buy the 5k or 8.5k violin. im bringing the 5k violin 2morrow, btw. the 8.5k's sound is...rich, full and warm. Projection is great.
Off to mug!!
xcBw is wasting her time at 7:51 AM x
] x sHall nEva Be aParT x [
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Violins
took a 8.5K violin from Szabo's to try. tone quality VERY rich and pure. Luv it.
xcBw is wasting her time at 7:29 AM x
] x sHall nEva Be aParT x [
Created this blog
This is the darker side of my two blogs, more serious.
No pictures, sounds or funny postings. Only seriousness.
That is the life of a Jedi Master. Solitude, celibacy, eternal.
The Force has become eternal darkness.
xcBw is wasting her time at 6:51 AM x
] x sHall nEva Be aParT x [
