Retract that last post!!

Okay, so I said again that I was going to put up more posts about the past six or so months.....  As you can see I still haven't done that.  Boo on me I know!!  Well, this past year has been probably the worst year imaginable for me and the boys. So much has been changed (with out my choice might I add)  No, Im not perfect but  I had no control.  Anyway, life had made me so crazy busy.  I have moved in with my parents. I am STILL looking for a job.  I am trying to figure out arrangements for school on top of working.  Daycare arrangements....  and to top it all off I was the one that had to file divorce papers!  (making the past year short and to the point)  I have even lost site of being there for my kids half the time because I have become so caught up in trying to figure out what to do to keep them going (okay, myself going) and becoming a mom and a dad (care giver and the bread winner)  Yes, I have the support of my family and friends but I have been set in my ways thinking  "I have brought my 2 babies into this world, I am the one to take care of them and be there for them when ever possible. The thought of me going back to work, doing school and trying with all my heart to be with my kids as much as possible seems almost impossible for me right now."  So, that is why I have decided to quit blogging for my favorite 12 friends (lol) on my dear neglected blog and try to focus on myself and the kids a little more while I still can.  I am not getting rid of my blog and will try and get on as often as a can, meaning every month or two.  Yes, Boo again!  I love you all and will miss you for the next few weeks but hope you will forgive me and still check in every now and then.  Have an awesome Summer and I will talk to you guys when I can!!!


Love you
Jess

P.S.  a few pictures from random times since my last picture post, maybe this will help you come back and check on me :)  These are from our trip a few weeks ago to beautiful Seattle WA.

Well hello there!

So, I didn't realize it has been so long since my last post.  I have had lots more on my mind and I think the blog was the last thing I thought about....  Obviously, it has been neglected for too long.  A LOT has happened of the past few months so I will be doing a lot of catch up.
Well not to much for tonight but thought I would let everyone know i was back and planning on not being such a slacker, and pick up my game.

Till tomorrow?

Nighty night

* Our first Snow Day! *

This morning when we woke up, we opened  our bedroom windows like every morning but to our surprise we had snow! I had work in a few hours,but didn't want to miss out just in case it melted by the time I got home.  So, we ate breakfast them got out all our snow clothes and went outside!  The boys will get any chance they can to go outside, so they were as excited as ever.  This is Konnors first time in the snow, since last year he wasn't lucky enough to really play in it.  

 My sweet hearts!

 Heart breaker #2   Look at that face!  I melt every time i see it, and it doesn't help that we digs on getting pictures of himself.

 Heart breaker #1  My sweet Jack.  Bless his heart, he didn't know how to soak it all up he was going crazy and going non stop, but every now and then showing me his snowballs for a quick pic.

 exploring it all...

On our porch for a quick shot!  I can't get over these two.  They are my everything!!

Hopefully we can get many more days like these this year, and maybe slip in a few hills for sledding.

Happy Holidays!

Love Us

*25 Days Of Christmas*

This year we have decided to do our own family *25 Days of Christmas*
The boys are now old enough to be able to do some things together, and also with Jack now starting to understand it, we have decided to make each year from now on more special than just presents and amazing food.  I haven't yet figured out what to do for ALL 25 days, so if you have any great ideas big or small, indoors or outdoors, please share your thoughts and ideas.  New traditions are a great way to keep the family close and I thin this one will be a fun one to do.  Thank you and I look forward to reading what all your ideas are.

Love Us

A little boy asked his mother, “Why are you crying?” “Because I’m a woman,” she told him. “I don’t understand,” he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, “And you never will.” Later the little boy asked his father, “Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?” “All women cry for no reason,” was all his dad could say. The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, “God, why do women cry so easily?” God said, “When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children. I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly. I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed.” “You see my son,” said God, “the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides.” Author: Unknown

What to do, what to do...

So, I have so many projects I want to start and/or finish but for some reason I just won't get to it!

• Make the boys Halloween costumes (dinosaurs)
• Refinish/paint my desk.  Got this from my dad. Its a pretty brown wood, but its in my basement and so I think I will paint it some kind of white.
• Paint my hallway.  I wrote earlier on my blog about doing a cool stripe technique.  Ya, still haven't done that.
• finish staining the kitchen cabinets/ bead board.  I think we started this a few months after we bought our house, and one thing after another, but I promise this will be done soon!!
• Start AND finish staining my bathroom vanity.

So I have decided to make my list and then when i finish something, I will treat myself to something simple but good.  Don't know what that will be yet, but once I figure out what that is I will let you know.  Oh, well I guess I should just add that to my list to....  *think of what I get when I finish something on my list.
Just a few little things on my list of unfinished projects, no biggie!  I think I may start one right now actually.... Good Bye!!

Don't Stop

If you wake up and don't want to smile,
If it takes just a little while,
Open your eyes and look at the day,
You'll see things in a different way.

Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,
Don't stop, it'll soon be here,
It'll be, better than before,
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.

Why not think about times to come,
And not about the things that you've done,
If your life was bad to you,
Just think what tomorrow will do.

Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,
Don't stop, it'll soon be here,
It'll be, better than before,
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.

All I want is to see you smile,
If it takes just a little while,
I know you don't believe that it's true,
I never meant any harm to you.

Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,
Don't stop, it'll soon be here,
It'll be, better than before,
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.

Don't you look back,
Don't you look back.


                                  -Fleetwood Mac

Remember when...

When going back and looking at pictures of our babies the day the were born, It brings back those memories and feelings.  "Oh, I love those feelings!"

I love my boys!

Oh and Don't forget, this wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for this handsome man!

I love you babe!!

Thank you for our two beautiful boys

splash pad

At our neighborhood Splash Pad...

Getting ready to go play

 "Don't look at me mom."

 Konnor loves the camera

 Having fun!

 Humoring his mom with another picture

 The water is cold but he still did it!

 Drying off while watching a little girl walk off pouting. (in the background) 

It was the cutest thing to watch, Jack kept wanting to go get her and make her happy.

Maybe next time daddy will come, and I can get some better pictures with them in the water..

"... Hold still."

When ever we go to our pediatrician, Jack is right beside the doctor doing whatever he does.  This past doctors appointment was especially cute...  I think I am going to stick with this one forever.  Konnor has never been so content while getting his check up.

Checking the ears

 Checking his teeth (with his finger of course)

 Checking his finger nails.. (this one made me laugh)

I only wish the pictures weren't so fuzzy...

Thank you Dr. JJ

And the fun begins!

Play Time!

Playing tag, it's one of there favorite things to do together!

                                                

I knew it was going to be fun once they were old enough to play together on their own, but I never thought I would be this fun!  Let the good times roll!!

Happy Birthday to me...

The boys and I went to the pool, and then later Justin and I went to dinner by ourselves.  A sweet little greeting of roses and balloons followed Justin home from work... How nice!

how to feel....

Today is a wonderful, sad, happy, angry, excited, frustrated kind of day....  But I don't know really which one I am...  So CoNFuSeD!!!!!

double birthday party!!

Konn is now a whopping 1 year old, and I well, I turn 25 on the 20th.

We celebrated both our birthdays together this year.  Friends and family came over to our house for a BBQ of sorts, to eat, hang out and just enjoy the great summer we have had so far.

Just a few snipits of the whole shabang...

Grandpa H and Kon

Konnor's Lego cake..  

The birthday kids :)

Jack had to help with every present..  this was Konnor's favorite.

 All the kids diggin into the delish cake made with Autie Angels cream cheese frosting!  

Konnor after a few minutes into his cake...  sugar rush getting to his head i would think

Uncle Hunter and Buck having cupcake comps. (who can shove a whole cupcake in their mouth..  I think this was #3)  Oh and his audience in the background...Mike, Jb and Jared

getting guiltless with the cake now...  "All or nothing baby!"

Me and prego sis Nic!  Yeah, more babies!

Another unwrapping, Justin as in the background the whole time, but I wanted to get a few of him in the post.  Daddy watching from the sidelines.

 Konnor and Jack still going at it!  All the other kids gave up but they held strong.

HA!  Did I say a few snipits?  

Anyway, it was fun! lots of people, lots of laughing and an awesome time watching all the little chicklets dig their little fingers in the birthday cake. ..  Don't worry there were cupcakes for everyone!  ( they didnt have to eat the cake the kids destroyed.)

Give us a break!!

Is it impossible for us to catch a break!  MAN!  You think when things are going well, and everything is caught up.......BAM!  something happens to where you are right back in the hole you used to be in.  I would think that after all we have done, and how hard we have tried to get things in order and in control, life would give you mercy for more than a minute.  Well I guess we are back to square one trying to dig us out of a hole that was just filled.

bringin it back?

So I was listening to pandora and boyz 2 men came on.....  I was it Jr. High again!  I loved them when I was younger and when this some came on it was like I was 11 again.

Anyway, funny and random blast from the past.

Our song..

  Hourglass

Mindy Gledhill
© 2010 Blue Morph Music (BMI)

Little boy, when you speak
I cant help but kiss your cheeks
I love the way you grab my hands
And tell me all about your plans
Rocket high, comets fly
You and I could hitch a ride
And fly away to Neverland
And give our best to Peter Pan
                      When you reach for the stars
                     Don't forget who you are
                     And please don't turn around and grow up way too fast
                     See the sand in my grasp
                     From the first to the last
                     Every grain becomes a memory of the past
                     Oh, life's an hourglass
                     Life's an hourglass
Story's read, prayer is said
Close your eyes sleepyhead
While angels linger in your dreams
And hold you in their feathered wings
Just like you, I was small
Not that long ago at all
I wish you all the happiness
That God gives freely if you ask
                         Chorus






I have found a song that I am totally in love with and have decided that is would be a perfect song for me and my boys.  Of course they are younger so they don't really understand that, but I guess its mainly for me.  I was thinking bed time lullaby.  I love my boys and this is such a great reminder, plus it has the sweetest lyrics.

I Love you Jack Jack and Kc

Jessica:  "I can't seem to keep our house under my wing!"

Justin:    "Thats because you don't have any wings."


Thanks for the laugh babe :)

"Can i give him hugs mom?"

Yes, the picture seems a little mean, but most of the time Konnor will just grin and bear it.  This time, not so much.  Jack sure was happy though.

Handsome Man!!

This handsome, wonderful and strong man carried Mr. Jackson up and down Angels Landing this last weekend.  Except for maybe .2 miles, this kids was on dads shoulders a whole 5.2 miles.  I love you sweet heart and appreciate everything you do.  You carry a huge load on your shoulders (in this case literally) and I can't express how lucky I am to have you.  

Love you babe!!

lego time

Now that Konman is getting bigger, him and Jack have loved playing with each other.  Konnor thinks Jack is the funniest at everything he does or says.  I have loved it now that they have been able to do things together.   Jack was always wanting to play with Konnor, but he hasn't been able to hold his ground to him.  He now can "talk" back, hand each other things, and run/crawl around with each other.  Love It!

  Love my boys!