Who is God?

I've been asking myself this question and asking God whom I have believed in for the past 22 years of my life. "Who are you, God?" You have many names, but which is really you? Or are all of these names yours? Alpha, Omega - the begining and the end. Creator. Saviour, Messiah and Redeemer. Father, Friend and Lover. Wonderful Counsellor, Everlasting God.

Different positions in our life plays different roles. A Father protects, cares for and provides for his child. A Saviour saves us. A friend listens to us, supports us and helps us. A lover, loves us. Sometimes our lover is like a friend.

Can our God have multiple identities? Should I be in awe of Him? If so, then should I be distant? If He is a friend, then I can be close. But if He is both, what should I do? Don't you feel confused? Because I do...

If like the church says Christianity is about having a relationship, I wonder how much do I really know God. What does it mean to know a person? To have a relationship with my boyfriend, I first learn to love him, care for him and spend time with him. But to the invisible and inaudible God, how am I suppose to "get to know" you? Why can't you appear in front of me, be so visible that I can see you, feel you, hear you and know that you are here just next to me?

I know that it seems foolish to ask questions like this. For having believed in the same Gd for 22 years, I just want to get to know you again. Fresh from the start. Can you feel my heart crying and asking you to let me know you again? Like a child who just wants to make a new friend. Help me start anew.

When I know you, that is when I will serve you. I dont feel that I fit the shoes of those who serve you because I may not even know who you are.

Who are you?

Colours of Life II

Thanks for all your comments on my thinkinglifebook. Really appreciate it.

As I was looking back on the Colour of Life reflection, it just struck me to look into how the colour blind people really perceive our world. Compare the two photos above, we can see that the grapes which are purple are actually seen as blue by a colourblind. Observing in more detail, we can see that the red at the background is viewed as brown by a colour-deficient person.

Firstly, there are two types of colour blindness (1)Protanopia (2)Deuteranopia. Interestingly, people with the above two types of colour blindness( or some may term it as colour deficiency) seem to be unable to see colours like red. Instead what they see are (1)dirty brown and (2)dirty yellow respectively, according to the website: http://www.tsi.enst.fr/~brettel/DaltonDemo/DD08.html.

A sudden sadness really came over me. In my opinion, the colours really don't look very nice. I'm not here to judge. But I really thank God that He gave me my perfect eyesight (though its getting worse as I age). But then again, I really don't know how to feel. In short, I'm rather perplexed.

Is there anyone who can enlighten me? How should I be feeling?

Colours of Life

Have you ever felt sad or maybe pitied people who are blind or even colour-blind?

There is a very interesting incident that I met with and I would like to share it to all of you who are out there. In my course of study in SMU (Singapore Management University), I stumbled upon a friend who is actually colour-blind! He looks just like any normal people, but he can't differentiate between colours like purple & blue and yellow & green! Isn't it amazing? This caused me to be extremely curious when I first heard that he was colour-blind. My evil behaviours/curosity led me to the constant testing of how he would perceive colours.

Experiment 1:

I highlighted a portion of the paper with purple and another portion with blue. Knowing that I was "testing" him and he gave the correct answer. I asked him how he knew which was which and he replied that it was due to the relative gradients of the colours. This led me to experiment 2.

Experiment 2:

This time, I folded the paper into 2 and coloured both sides differently (one purple and one blue). To my surprise, he actually said that both are blue! Isn't it amazing? I have never seen a person who is colour-blind!

Ok. That's besides the point. These two experiments led me to two conclusions.

1. Many things in life is relative

For example, if you go out with your friends and your friends are always late (say 30 mins late) and you are actually 15 mins late. Comparatively, you are early because you have to wait for your friend's arrival. Conversely, if your friend is always on time ans you are still 15 mins late, you would be considered as late. Hence, this concludes that in life many things are relative, being 15 min late, you may be perceived as early in one and late in the other.

2. Different Perceptions

While conversing with my friend with regards to his colour-blindness, I was actually very ignorant and mentioned that "Isn't it very sad that you can't see all the colours? Like God has created a magnificant spectum of colours and yet you can only see the basic colours." However, he gave me an answer that really struck me. He said "However, you will never be able to see what I see". This statement is really true! Although society has prompted us to help the needy and helpless, we don't always have to sympathize them. You see, they may be enjoying their lives in their own ways that you may never experience.

For example, imagine a boy whose parents are rich and could provide him with anything he wants. Then in school, this boy meets another boy who is really poor and have nothing but a piece of bread for lunch. In your perception, who do you think is more well off? On the surface, the rich boy may look more well off. However, if you realised that the piece of bread was made by the poor boy's mother, would you in turn say that the poor boy is more well off? The perception of "well off" can be differentiated into material and emotional. The poor boy may be more well off emotionally while the rich boy may be more well off materialistically.

So what is your perceptions of life? Which one would you wish to be? The poor boy or the rich boy?

Education - Boon or Bane?

Do you remember the times when your Youth Group Leaders used to say that university is gonna be easy?

After Junior College(JC) and A' levels, my church friends and I are always looking forward to a seemingly easier lifestyle in university. We heard that we only need to "study when its nearer the exams" and we can always slack during the semesters. However, the opposite is true. We have projects to do, assignments to hand up, mid-term and end-term exams to study for PLUS we have to prepare for presentations. We need to constantly be on our balls, trying very hard to understand the lecture, and even have to combat some rediculously slacking groupmates. What a hard time!

But coming to think of it, it may not be our "teacher's" fault for providing us with such disillusion. The tough competition we face today is largely due to the society, the Singapore's way of describing it - Kiasu! Being born in the Year of the Dragon has showed me that in the academic world, it's all about competition and stress. You can't run away from that!

In addition, it may also be due to the government's over-ambition to bring Singapore to a higher level. Look at all the kids out there who are studying! What we used to learn in Secondary 4 is now taught in Secondary 2. What's more?! Some of the stuff that's in my JC lecture notes is now seen in the Secondary 4 textbook! What the?? Maybe the government should just relax the education system a little and let the kids have some childhood.

So what do you think we can do to help combat such a tiring system?
(1) Stab the Professors!
Look at NTU! Now all the Triple E people have an extended deadline of 1 month for their projects! WoHoo!
(2) Kill the Governments
Like who would dare to do it? (hmm..)
(3)Go to the Speaker's Corner
Does it really work? In October 2008 NTUC Income chief, Tan Kin Lian seeked redress commoners who have loss of their life savings while investing in Financial structured products like credit-linked securities and found that 1,000 people turned up in support of his speech.

Haha! Pick your choice!

The Prayer

One of my favourite Christian songs.

THE PRAYER

"I pray you'll be our eyes

And watch us where we go

And help us to be wise

In times when we don't know

Let this be our prayer

As we go our way

Lead us to a place

Guide us with your grace

To a place where we'll be safe

La luce che to dai

I pray we'll find your light
Nel cuore restero

And hold it in our hearts

A ricordarchi che

When stars go out each night

L'eterna stella sei

Nella mia preghiera

Let this be our prayer

Quanta fede c'e

When shadows fill our day

Lead us to a place

Guide us with your grace

Give us faith so we'll be safe

Sognamo un mondo senza piu violenza

Un mondo di giustizia e di speranza

Ognuno dia la mano al suo vicino

Simbolo di pace e di fraternita

La forza che ci dai

We ask that life be kind

Eil desiderio che

And watch us from above

Ugnuno trovi amore

We hope each soul will find

Intorno e dentro a se

Another soul to love

Let this be our prayer

Let this be our prayer

Just like every child

Just like every child

Needs to find a place,

Guide us with your grace

Give us faith so we'll be safe
E la fede che

Hai acceso in noi

Sento che ci salvera"

LOVE

"Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails"
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

These are the words inscribed in the bible, where it describes what love should be. Often, love is misinterpreted as a tingling feeling - an indescribable and mysterious attraction. This however, would be something I would consider as an infatuation. Infatuation in my dictionary is the "unexplained attraction towards a person - a guy or a girl".

In my years of experience of being in a relationship, I've come to realise that love is more that just a simple boy-girl relationship. It is a commitment that one holds dear to her heart. The reason why so many couples have been together and gone apart is that very often they are unable to fully commit themselves to ensure that their relationship work out. In the show "Perfect Cut II " the mother of Michelle Chia actually mentioned that "Relationships odd to be managed and not tested." I find this quote familiarly true. Relationships should be handled with care as it is extremely fragile and can be easily broken by others. A simple act of staring at a person of the opposite sex could encourage jealousy in your partner.

Hence, I would like to give a small piece of advise to those who are in a relationship - try your best to work out your differences. Always be truthful to one another (even if the truth hurts), cause the truth would always reveal itself. And if you think that you can't sustain the relationship anymore, think again! Loving the same person and constantly thinking of ways to continue and sustain your relationship helps you to grow in love and understanding. Therefore strive hard to keep your relationship though the trails that may come your way. =)

Have you ever liked someone of the same gender?
Unknown to many adults, teenagers are sometimes confused about their own identity. Personally, I have liked someone of the same gender when I was in Secondary School. It was a senior who was a year older than me. Her behaviour was much like a boy and yet still have lovely features of a girl. This crush lasted for about a year before it eventually faded away. It was quite an experience since I was in an all girls' school.

However, as I grew older, I came to realise that God has His plans for me. God provided me with my boyfriend who is a person whom I can relay on, confide in and express my love too. I also realise that the crush that I once had was just something really small and insignificant. Some may even say that I was so silly to have such crushes. Oh well... Those are the days. Quite fun and quite cool. Haha!

What about you? Have you ever liked someone of the same gender?