2.5 years later

Seems to me, that blogging is the avenue i turn to when i feel conflicted about my feelings..
it's been a rather peaceful 2.5 years which is supposed to go on for a long long time, but because "the grass is always greener on the other side", I guess the issue has to come up one time or another...

Horrible thoughts just racing through my head, as I actually contemplated going against what I had been waiting for all my life, for that one moment of drama.

Guilt is an obvious feeling that's taken place in that hollow of my heart.
Along with curiousity and wonder, confusion and depression, with a tinge of regretable reluctance.

Why I'm feeling that prob attributes partly to my unwillingness to change and compromise my current state, and the curious case of "what if" in the case of a new situation.

Whatever is this I'm feeling, I hope it passes soon, like the passing shower on the meadows, comes and go briefly, leaving in its wake a beautiful rainbow, cleaner and greener grass, and a fresh scent in the cool and clear air. Content and unwanting.


PS: Shoutout to Maybeez for the 1st among the Vamps to get hitched (officially & customarily).
CONGRATS!! and am so so happy for you... Not that you'll read this... since i retired from blogging aeons ago... haha...

Playing Hard to Get

I realised how important this is, and how bad I am at it...

Then after a talk with Jen, I realised, what happened in Ugly Truth is happening here.

What I was encouraged to do with this dude, is what Abby had been doing with her Mr Perfect.

Yes, Playing hard to get.

Why should one do the whole play hard to get?
Ans: to get the guy to want you.

So if this is what comes naturally to you, and you can always do it with such flair and style, go ahead.

But if u, like me, will squirm and shiver from nervous breakdown due to the sheer fear of failing the gameplay, my opinion: Forget it.
Cos if u persist, you are attempting to recreate this player who looks like you, but do not act like the real you.

Of cos, one day u may actually get the other person, with these moves. but, the person probably liked you for being that player you were, or for that challenge which you were then.

And back to reality, when u folks are officially together, then what?? you revert to your true self, and he/she feels cheated for what he/she realised they should be getting is not exactly what it seemed previously. And from there on, what happens next or in the near future, would inevitably be breaking-up.

So, in short, conclusion, what I hoped would be right, I agree with the theory that one shld always maintain being au natural and as oneself as possible. not some smooth operator who obviously ain't you.

He's Just Not That Into You...

Emotional hurt just bites us in many viciously scary ways.

Just found out some things that I don't want to know, but can't help and want to find out more.
X faced horrible emotional betrayal.
Got asked to go on trips with someone whom I had liked before, and now detest.
A couldn't help but continue picking fights with the man she loves.
I fell in and out of love within the span of 1 month.

Horrible truths about wanting to love and be loved.

Do I want to swear off Love for the rest of my life??



No.




Serves me right.

Earnings and Savings

Basically the plan is to get a job that pays more so that i can earn more.

And to save more, spend less with the money i have, despite having a million things to pay for...

Trips to go, nice dinners to have, parties to enjoy, all these need $$$...

Tell me, how to save?!?!?!?!

Do Something With your Life

And get on with it.

Freakazoid

For the whole morning, I've been snapping at anything that moves.


This is bad.

To know it, but not being able to control my actions.


There's like this boiling lava brewing inside of me, all bottled up.
I'm freakin' scared of the cork popping out due to too much pressure within.



I am a freak who scares myself freakish.

And don't ask me what happened.

I'll be a genius if I knew.

The Year that comes after Quarter of a Century

Creepy...

I'm fast phasing into that scary timeframe between a woman's peak to offpeak.

Yes. all those women nearing, around, or after 25. You know what I'm talking about...
First you turn 25, quarter of a century, then very soon you're 30, and off the market. into the expiry bin... ARGH!!!

HAHA...

Nah. It's not that bad. just as long as you still love that 30 old you then.
Draft out that list of goals and achieve them one by one. You'll prob be hard pressed to find extra time for worrying about your shelf life!

Anyways, CONGRATS to XH on me humble blog space!!
For that most creative job award!! haha... you know what I mean.

CONGRATS to May for that T Rock on her ring finger!! I envy (abit only la. HAHA)

CONGRATS to Charlene for making so far in her Dancing Career!! I respect!!

CONGRATS to Gi for staying my compatriot in so many many aspects!! I love!!

CONGRATS to Si & Vi for winning the best Comedy duo in years to come!! I LAUGH!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!

And finally, CONGRATS to Me-self....

For Making it this far in life, 26 years and still kicking ass!!

I LOVE ME!!!!