Thursday, October 9, 2014

Seasons

A Time for Everything
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 ESV

Joshua, Hayleigh, Matthew, & Elleigh




There are so many seasons in life. I remember a lot of seasons where I just wished them away. Those are the ones I remember most. But tonight I was slammed with the confrontation of an ending season that I do not think I am ready for. 

So I went to Costco, (All great stories start with that) to buy a cookbook. I was walking around and found my cookbook and was headed away as I saw the cutest most adorable baby outfits by Carters, you know the ones with cute animals on the bum. I stopped and started crying  SOBBING. My baby no longer fits in the Carters baby clothes. In the past 7 years I have not had a child that I could not put in those cute outfits. Not that older children clothing isn't cute, but babies by far have the cutest outfits! (This may sound so silly, but writing is therapeutic so bare with me.) Elleigh our youngest is 2, I know she is far from grown but I LOVE babies! Seriously adore them! If I could I would have babies all my life. So tonight looking at those outfits it hit me that I am out of the season of having a little baby, for now. Elleigh was asking to go on the potty and wear underwear the other night! Our little Elle Belle is growing up, I just wish I could bottle all these moments and her little voice, Oh her cute voice. 

I know that seasons come and go but this is one that I am very sad to see going… for now.  Those four kids up above are incredible. This has been such an amazing and memorable summer for our family. SO many milestones. There were a lot of seasons I was happy to part with but not having a baby in our home is one I am really struggling with. Tonight I am finding comfort that seasons come and go and it is ok to weep. 

Ash 



Sunday, September 28, 2014

Caught Up

  Man sometimes I get so caught up in this world. I forget there is a BIGGER picture here. This life here is NOT eternal. While we are here as Christians we are called to love, and live a life as an example of who Christ is. When I read and I am in His word, close to Him, it just feels so supernatural. He loves me even though I am reckless and sinful. How mind blowing. I get so caught up in this world and everyday life. 

  I get caught up in the fact that I have been disappointing to many people. I get caught up that I am still seen as a mistake to my dad. I get caught up that since I got pregnant as a teen I was told I would never be enough. I get caught up in living with the ugly identifiers people have given me. I get seriously caught up in the fact that I do not have a mom and dad that love me. but I am FREE. I have a heavenly father that has called me into his Kingdom! WOW! I am Holy, and redeemed! My God is so big and He lives inside of my heart. The perspective that some people have formed of me may never change but I know that even when I fail and I am feeling weak at the knees carrying these burdens; My God has saved me. forever. PERIOD. 


  This music video is incredible I cry to it every time, because it helps me shake the chains that Christ already settled on the cross. Greater By: Mercy Me


Blessed that you would read my words, 
Ashleigh