Grateful

I am so incredibly grateful for my family, for an eternity of reasons (hehe). One reason that has been on my mind is in regards to my marriage. I am so so so happy. Marrying my sweetheart was the best thing I have ever done. I don't know what I would do it if weren't for my supporting, loving, patient and understanding family. It means SO much to me, especially when I feel a little bit disapointed in myself, as I am sure they share a bit - however my life is exactly where it was meant to be and I am at peace with the Lord, and we are all moving forward together. It's funny how life works. It wouldn't have worked any other way. It all fits and falls together to work out the best for all of us.

I took a bit of a risk with Shawn. I knew he was a great guy and had huge potential. For some reason, I never noticed how incredible selfless and thoughtful he is. To EVERYONE. Especially to me. He most defiantly is a very tender heart in a very hard shell. He is perfect :) Flaws and all. This knoweldge makes me so happy because its not like we have only been married for 2 years, this isn't the talk of a puppyloved girl - weve been together about 8 years! And everyday im more in love :)

Life as a Cho

Wow, it's really been a while since I have updated this! I guess cause I didn't think anyone came to read it. But I guess I will post just in case :)

Things are great. I love being married. Shawn is an awesome husband. He is my best friend and companion, I never tire of his company. He keeps me young - always laughing. He is going to be a great father one day.

And on that subject, so no one asks me! No, we aren't having babies for a while! All the friends he has, and they are all a bit older, had babies when they were first married and they are all divorced now. He understands that when you are married you need that time alone, together, to enjoy eachother and grow together before growing a family and before you lose that time together and get so busy! Besides, we are still living with his family, so we would definitly want our own place before that.

We are in the temple prep class in our ward and we LOVE it so much! We look forward to the class every week. Our teacher is just awesome. It has really motivated me and I know for Shawn as well. We just need to get back into good habits again, which is a little difficult when you live with a non-member family. They are awesome though! They really are! We are so thankful to them for loving us and taking care of us and letting us in. You feel love in that house all day everyday its a beautiful thing. There is no date for going to the temple yet. We didn't start the class right after we got married. There was switching wards and the move and the big adjustments that got in the way first. Shawn goes Home Teaching regularly, but I haven't been assigned a route or VTs yet :( Hopefully soon! He's a great example to me!

Anyway, thats a short snippet on how things are going. I am really optomistic about the future! Things are going and will be GREAT! Shawn starts school this week too so we are excited about how that is going to bless us as well.

Love you all!
Jax

Some things I want to say to my family...

I have such a strong testimony of the gospel.  As much as people are imperfect- and lets face it where there is hearts there will always be some degree of pain - I know that it is true and I love it with all of my heart.

I haven't been perfect, we all haven't.  But I want you to know my desires and intentions of even my more naive self haven't changed.

As much as it sounds contradictory to say that I believe Heavenly Father wanted me to go this way, I feel it in my heart.

With the history that I have, it is so hard to get by and have a normal life.  I am not sure anyone knows exactly how bad of a rut I was in nearly 10 years of my life.  Counseling saved my life.  I would not be married right now, and even civilly, it is SUCH a blessing.

I like having a goal and a direction together.  We have both had such traumatizing pasts that have set us down different paths of our lives.  I believe this is the best way for us to work it out - I do not assume to know God's workings, only that I feel in my heart that he is on our side.

I am thankful for so many things.  For love #1.  I am so overwhelmed with love for my family right now.  You have no idea.  I love how we can all be together and be SO happy, like we are all on the best, most healthiest long last crack ever.  Some families don't like spending time together. I love how much we not only love each-other, but LIKE each-other.  That is so important in any relationship.

I am also grateful to be ALIVE.  I really don't think I would be if it wasn't for Shawn, my parents and my counselor.  I am so grateful to be HEALED.  In the way that can only come through our Loving Savior and his infinite atonement.  I am so grateful to be LOVED and appreciated.  I am so grateful to have the gospel and the world's best most awesome parents.  I swear their faults are only disguises.  They are angels on this earth.

When I think of my siblings I want to cry.  I always wondered why my life seemed to always go in such a obtuse direction.  I realize now, with not egotism attached, that God gave me the gift to love and lead.  Not a week goes by that I am not thanked by my husband for being the spiritual guide he needed in his life - and not a week goes by that I don't thank him for his lessons of logic.  I have became more well-rounded, more even-tempered - BETTER, because of him.  I am so excited to where we can walk together next...to the temple.  To eternity.

Most of all I am thankful for ALL of your love, support, understanding, non-judgementalness (is that a word?) and patience and companionship.  I love you all so much.  I am just so full of joy right now.  There is so much to be grateful for.  So many blessings to count.  And at the top of my list is my amazingly beautiful family.

I love you.

Jax

My book!!

Hey everyone! I need your opinions!

I recently decided to take the book I am writing on and change it from third person, to first person.  Tell me which you like better - and you can be brutally honest! Really, I can handle it.

go to www.bloodbond.weebly.com and read the chapter 1 under the tab "excerpts" and then read the one under the blog tab.

Thanks!! 

Life

Wow. Sure is crazy, isn't it?

Today was a great day at church. I bore my testimony twice. :)
One of the things I said was how Heavenly Father is the best lemonaide maker in the world. Even when we stray, he finds a way for us to find blessings from it. EVEN if is because of our own doing, our own disobedience. THAT PROVES his unfathomable eternal love for us. It's amazing. Admist everything, even in sin and turmoil, he can turn it around. Tender Mercies. The atonement.

My testimony as only strengthened this past year....

When I met with my bishop today I was explaining how things have been going for me. I hope you can understand this but I told him how my whole life has been different then, lets say it otherwise would have been. A long time ago someone used their free agency to violate mine. It has cascaded and branched into a multitude of problems my entire life. Things I will always live with. However, as I use to curse this I now embrace it. It has made me who I am. And to go along with the lemonade buisness its strange...its ALMOST as if Heavenly Father let/made this happen to me cause I don't know who I would be if it didn't...yet we all know no bad comes from him....its interesting, But goes to show you his incredible love and knowledge....

So I told my bishop you know, I have always slightly been under the line that has been expected of me. I have always been very spiritual and had such a great testimony. Its really how people know me, I can say honestly. While I do not want to blame my past, me and Heavenly Father have an understanding...I take responsibility for my actions, but I am SO MUCH MORE fully aware and clear - all thanks to a wonderful soul who helped me heal and grow. I have grown SO MUCH. I told him I have had to take smaller steps towards my goals then most people....

and with that my bishop said the words I lacked. He literally interrupted me and gave me a profound look and said "You are becoming a more well rounded person."

Its funny he would use that phrase. Thats exactly what shawn is that has made me look up to him so much. He has made me better. We make eachother better in different ways that all matter. I am so happy to do this with him the rest of my life.

My bishop gave me a hug and said "then you are doing all the right things. I am proud for you."

I am proud for you is an interesting phrase. But so appropriate.

I know I am. I am SO grateful for everything. And so full of love and excitment.
I love how the spirit can lead and guide every single aspect of our lives. Great and small. Important and insignificant.

Good News! Only news too....

It's Official!

I've gotten my promotion and my raise! 30% raise to be exact :D
I am officially a Geek Squad Autotech - Installer!! It's fun stuff, I wish I had pictures to prove it haha. Now I am just waiting for them to order my uniform. I can't wait!!

Good News!

Hey everyone I just got back from my test!! 

I got a 95!! Woot!! I senior installer told me thats probably the highest score in the district :P

It was pretty easy, I feel really good. 

So YAY to $4 pay raise and goodBYE to khaki and blue!!

Im so excited!

:D