Watch me bloom.
See me shine.
- Janu
- Yr10
- CwoodHS
- Awesome
- Sand
- Waves
- Loud
- Music
- Wind
- Laugh
- Lights
- Shiny
- Sexy
- Love.
30 Random things I regret doing.
1. Pissing in a bush.
2. Trying to piss like a guy
3. Shitting on hard concrete....in a SHITHOUSE. It's true. They do exist.
4. Eating my snot
5. Tasting my earwax
6. My parents catching me while i tried to put a catepillar in my brother's nappy
7. Letting several snails crawl up and down my arms
8. Being chased by my mom while i was running around in my house naked while guests were there.
9. Realizing halfway to school i was wearing slippers
10. Realizing halfway to school i forgot to wear my undies.
11. Trying to eat raw cake. yeh i was that desperate
12. Eating prawn eyes because i was bored..
13. Running on a HIGHWAY. not that i regret that at all. =]
14. Pretending to smoke fags (the lollies) in a temple and getting told off.
15. Placing myself in such a position where the only place my friend could vomit was either her lap...or mine.
16. Painting my face green for sports day...
17. Wearing my P.E shorts wrong way round
18. Doing a suicidal fail in my geo yr 8 yearly exam
19. Trying really hard to eat paper...and failing miserably
20. Eating grass infront of everyone
21. Going billykarting for the Big Day Out...
22. Bullying a 4 yr old kid when i was 5. cause i just felt too cool.
23. Swearing at a 10 yr old who called me lesbian, then getting told off by my mom -.-
24. Buying something and then exchanging it 2 mins later.
25. Vowing to myself that i'l save up money, then spending everything the next day.
26. SPENDING MY FKN 5 DOLLARS ON THAT FUCKING DISGUSTING HOT CHOCOLATE AT GLORIA JEANS.
27. Telling my crush i was gay and him actually believing it...
28. Laughing so hard i peed my pants.
29. Trying to crack really lame jokes and getting no reaction out of people whatsoever. I mean...the least they could do was tell me how bad my joke was...
30. Meeting that innocent little chinese kid. aka mandaBRO.
Sunday, May 31, 2009 // 5:57 AM
25 Things I want to do before I die.
1. Earn BILLIONS of dollars
2. Attend atleast 100 awsome party's
3. Buy a sexy car over atleast $500 000
4. Buy another sexy car for over $1 000 000
5. Get into med.
6. Buy designer lingerie :)
7. Get married
8. Have two kids (boy&girl)
9. Name them jay and..*blank*
10. Appear on T.V ..................
11. Get a tattoo
12. Go scuba diving
13. Go bungee jumping
14. Slap kevin rudd for ripping me off that laptop i was SUPPOSED to get
15. Slap him again for the fun of it.
16. Fire a gun
17. Rent an apartment with a friend (mandaBRO)
18. Give a billion dollars to charity
19. Get on a motherfukin BOAT.
20. Dye my hair
21. Become a supermodel
22. Live in a mansion
23. Hire servants lol
24. Visit every single country in this world.
25. Eat Subway's white chocolate and macadamia cookies for breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner and supper :)
// 4:46 AM
point. and. laugh.
1. In case of a fire you:
...fight it out with my drink bottle.
2. If you see a dead cat on the road you:
stare.
3. When you see an aeroplane coming to crash into your house you:
point and laugh.
4. In a fight,you:
point and laugh
5. If you're bored you:
point and laugh
6. When you're in a relationship you:
point and laugh
7. In a relationship the most important thing is:
your mom.
8. If a person of the opposite sex told you they love you:
point and laugh
9. When you've lost the person you love, you:
point and laugh
10. In a jungle you:
rape tarzan.
11. If you're alone & you see a person of the opposite sex crying alone you:
point and laugh
12. When in the night and you see a fullmoon?
be completely oblivious to the fact that there is a full moon, i mean...who cares.
13. In life you:
point and laugh
14. If you could be an animal what would it be?
yo mom
15. When it's raining you?
dont give a crap...
16. In this world:
lives the great almighty janaki patel.
17. If you became a millionaire you:
buy everything i ever wanted and save the remaining few cents for the future.
18. When you love someone what do u always think of?
that person whom i love...? duhhhhh.
19. In the toilet you:
use the toilet.
20. If you found out the person you love doesn't even like you:
point and laugh.
21. When you grow up you:
will point and laugh at every single person in this world.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009 // 10:48 PM
I LIKE BIG BUTTS. :|
I. Put your iTunes/Ruckus/Napster/etc. on shuffle.
II. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
III. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN, NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
IV. Tag friends who might enjoy doing this.
1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Till the dawn – Drew Sidora ft Mario
(Teehee)
2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
All Good Things Come To An End – Nelly Furtardo
:
3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Unfaithful - Rihanna
(WHAT!? Noooo.)
4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Imaginary - Evanescence
(Aww…)
5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Golddigger – Kanye West
(!?)
6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
I’m Back – Baby Bash ft Akon
(righteo.)
7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Low – Flo-ride ft. T-Pain
(They think im low low low low.) :O
8. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Love Me Dead – LUDO
(So true.)
9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Last Night – Keyshia Cole
(BAHAHA. no) :
10. WHAT IS 2+2?
Black and Gold – Sam Sparro
(i see..)
11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
So What – Pink
(LOL suck on that manda) ;)
12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
You Give Me Something – James Morrison
(Yes. You. Do.)
13. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Can You Dance Like You F*** - Earl B
(Sadness)
14. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
White Noise – The Living End
(Thats right. I want to be white noise when i grow up.) :)
15. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Sexy Can I – Ray J ft. Yung Berg
(LOL)
16. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Stranger – Hilary Duff
(…)
17. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Whatever You Like – Jackie Boyz
(Whoa, Sweet)
18. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
We Made You – Eminem
:
19. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
I’m On A Boat – The Lonely Island ft. T-Pain
(how riveting)
20. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
I Don’t Wanna Know – Mario Winans ft. P. Diddy
(Ooh.That’s right.)
21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Throw It In The Bag – Fabolous ft. The Dream
(aww)
22. WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Candy Shop – 50 cent ft. Olivia
(A Candy Shop being opened? …How dreadful.)
23. HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Lovestoned – Justin Timberlake
(wtf.)
24. DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Me & You – Cassie
(LOL?!)
25. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
My Boo – Usher ft. Alisha Keys
(n’awww)
26. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Naked – Taio Cruz
(Okayyyy then...)
27. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
I like Big Butts – MC Hammer
(Well this is embarrassing…) :
Monday, April 27, 2009 // 4:37 AM
Myopia. WHY god why.
ON thursday i decided to go on a trip to the city with a friend.
but before i go on i must make it very clear to all those reading this now, that i am officially SPED at travelling in trains and i am ten times more SPED when navigating my way around unfamiliar places. its not my fault. its my entire FAMILY'S fault. its my ANCESTORS fault. not mine. im innocent. so this time, this disaster, i am proud to say, is absolutely, completely and totally not my fault. I, as most of you would already know, am literally half blind. Without my glasses i probably wouldnt have made it this far in life. i probably would have tripped over an tiny rock which i couldnt see while crossing the road and then fallen over on the tiny road which i couldnt see then i wouldve been run over a tiny car which i didnt see either and then had my remains sweeped away into a gutter by a tiny street cleaner truck that i have obviously no hope of seeing now since my defective eyes are probably pulp. And then the tiny gutter wouldve taken my holy remains to god knows where- probably the tiny sewage pipe under your house. so basically, without my glasses i wouldve ended up in a sewege pipe under your house. Don't bother looking. im still here. asshole.
Anyway. so since im never bothered to keep my glasses on, cause i look like a gay nerd, i often find myself in very...difficult situations.
so besides walking right in the middle of tram rails for a more than safe period of time, i was guided around the city by my exeptionally-visioned friend who successfully ensured i didnt get lost or bang into any poles. At the end of our relatively uneventful trip however, it started to get. how do i put this...it started to get eventful.
After my exceptionally-visioned friend dropped me off at the wrong platform at the train station then got evil glares by me on my way down to the RIGHT platform, my exceptionally-visioned friend somehow managed to then drop me off..into the wrong train.
You see, even after quadtriple-checking with this EXCEPTIONALLY-VISIONED friend of mine to make sure i was getting on the right train, i ended up, once again, in nothing more than a big pile of...disaster.
So like for the next 45 mins. i was just plugged in, viewing all the stations go by, just waiting for my station to comee. but.
it never came...
for the remaining 15 mins i sat in a totally empty train. with this friggin bald-headed wrinkly creep sitting right behind me. it was freaking freaky.
anyways, he got off eventually.
but the train.
its doors would close..
it just
SAT there.
and i just
SAT there too.
so after 10 mins i decided to go out and check wtf was going on and wtf i was and wtf my stop was gonna come.
BUT...
(dum dum dumm)
there was no one there..
the sun was setting, it was getting dark and it was freezing cold
all of a sudden i felt so naked in my singlet-top and jeans.
naked and.....vunerable
The station was totally deserted. there wasnt ANYONE there. there wasnt even a ticket seller. Hell, it wasnt even a proper station. it was a freaking platform in the middle of a railway track which was basically in the middle of no where!
i was LOST in emu plains.
manda tells me thats near the blue mountains.
i just find that scary.
so i sat in the train again, hoping it would start moving again...and end up at sevo.
eventually, after what seemed like a lifetime of pissing my pants, it started to move. Yay.
i got off at sevo station and i was simply too traumatized to catch a bus.
no more public transport for me for a while.
so i just got a cab half way home. then i took off my heels and ran like crazy back home.
LOL. twas fun i guess.
scary, but fun.
i likee. :)
anyway. the point of this massive blog is to blame my every-day miseries on my ancestors. WHY god whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
*sulks*
what did i ever do to deserve THIS.
*starts crying hysterically*
ITS SO ANNOYINGG!
WHYY DID U DO IT TO MEEE!?
*wipes snot away with her hand*
i never did anything wroooong.
well maybe i have, but not THAT bad to deserve THIS.
urgh.
Anyway.
Here is a list of random things that my fellow myopians and i experience in our daily lives.
1. You see someone. You think its someone you know, but ur not sure.
a) You try to walk closer subtly to get a better look. Chances are you still cant recognise them so you either:
i) walk up to their face and look like a total perve.
ii) Rummage through your bag, find your glasses and put them on and still end up looking like a perve
b) You walk up to them bravely and hope they're the person you thought they were. If not you:
i) stop dead in your path, spin around and rush back.
ii) walk right past them and pretend to look at something else.
iii) make a new friend..randomly
c) You give up and just walk away. - wisest and most common choice. *thumbs up*
2. Someone waves at you.
a) you either dont notice and just walk away. Your friend beside you tells you "dude..he just waved at you.." and gives you the wtf-is-wrong-with-you look. You feel like running back and waving back to them but your intelligence is sufficient enough to tell you not to.
b) you notice and you cant figure out whether theyre waving to you or someone else. you look around like an idiot and make sure no ones there behind you. By the time you finish deciding on who the person is waving to theyve already walked off. Most probably thinking your a total nutcase.
c) You wave back enthusiastically and pray to god that person was actually waving to you.
3. The same happens when you dont know if someones talking to you. Its twice as embaressing when that someone is a teacher, and the whole class has their eyes on you...waiting...
4. your standing at your bus-stop in the morning. youre sleepy as and your brain isnt working. A bus comes towards you. You squint and try your best to read the bus number. You look like an idiot, but you couldnt care less right now.
a) You take the leap of faith. You stick your hand out and just pray youve got the right bus.
i) Youve got the right bus and thank god for todays blessing.
ii) Youve gotten on the wrong bus. you freak out and tell the bus driver to stop and let you out. The entire bus watches in amusement. Your actual bus has just gone past you..
b) You have a mental freak-out. the pressure to decide is too much for you to handle right now. You miss your bus.
c) Your brains so slow, you dont even realise a noisy massive yellow fat thing has driven past you.
& as time passes, the list will just keep growing.
"If the eye does not want to see, neither light nor glasses will help." - German Proverb Quotes.
Thankyou god... -.-"
Saturday, April 18, 2009 // 10:58 PM
re-living childhood memories
Yesterday, me and manda decided to go to the park.
because we were very bored.
so.
at 2:15 we set out for our thrilling adventure to the park. We were pulsing with energy, excitement and anticipation as to what would greet us there. On the way, we decided to go and buy some food.
So.
we bought some food.
and then continued on our exhilarating journey.
We jumped with joy when we reached the park. It greeted us warmly with a gush of wind and the stench of rotting fish. It was brilliant.
The sun poured warm, yellow sunlight upon us as we danced and ran around and did cart wheels like retarded idiots in the fresh green grass. which smelled like rotting fish.
We then decided to contribute some of our extensive and worldly knowledge and share it with the world in the hope that the world would benefit...from our awsome contribution. Amanda performed a DIY how to hug a tree step-by-step demonstration as i filmed it on camera whilst i laughing hysterically at her pathetic attempt.
We then decided to spin around in circles like lunatics and it was fun. Soon however, i felt tired and decided to do some yoga-on-the-go. Only after i finished doing my yoga, and after amanda had decided she finally had enough of spinning around in circles, did i realise i had stepped in..
i had stepped in..
i had..
i..
DOG SHIT.
i STEPPED in DOGSHIT. or maybe it was catshit.
but nonetheless.
I STEPPED IN SHIT.
The monstrous reek of that shit, my friends, is simply beyond description.
and so.
amanda found it extremely necessary to take a video of me wallowing in my distress whilst she laughed hysterically at my miserable state.
and those events, comrades, were the highlights of our day.
lame.
i know.
"It's never too late to have a happy childhood." - Tom Robbins.
;)
Thursday, April 16, 2009 // 2:55 AM
I DONT GET IT!
Here is a conversation i had with amanda a while ago.
And FYFI. Since im always mentioning manda in each of my posts, for those who think :1. im lesbian2. im obsessed3. im retarded4. i dont have any other friendsi would like to clarify with you that:1. im not2. im not3. im not4. i do.5. shes just the only one online whom i can talk to without being told to piss off.6. mandas cool. ur just jealous you dont have one.and now back to the convo :)
(a serious discussion in regards to our superfucked Independent Research Project, more specifically in regards to the stupid risk assessment)
task: heat water in a beaker.... :
janu says: what safety equipment will u be using ?..
mandaBRO:D says: LOL i said to wear gloves to prevent slipping
janu says: are u freaking serious..
janu says: yehh..wear safety glasses incase the gas stove expodes and shatters the beaker in millions of glass particles that may pierce your eyes
janu says: and also
janu says: incase ur thermometer overheats and explodes infront of ur face and burns the fuck out of u and the mercury falls into the fire and causes an even bigger explosion relseasing toxic gases that may cause cancers and tumours to u and all ur children and their children and make THEIR children demented
janu says: infact u shud wear a fukin space suit.
mandaBRO:D says: HAHA. omg thats good.
mandaBRO:D says: you should so put that on your blog.
- "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." -Hunter S. Thompson.
:)
Wednesday, March 18, 2009 // 1:39 AM