Post Number Fifty-- Catching up...

So, we had lots of big leaves in our backyard this year, which was pretty exciting. The kids and I went out to do our final raking job and got distracted jumping in the pile. "We'll finish tomorrow," I said, "It's time for a nap." So I took my cold kiddies in and fed them and put them to sleep. The next day it snowed. About a foot. It melted once and on that day I said, "Good. Tomorrow morning I'll be raking those leaves-- hopefully they'll be dry enough." That night it snowed again. I guess we'll be re-planting our grass next year. When we went to Shelley for Thanksgiving we go together with Daniel and Camille one night (actually, we made them drive to Shelley-- Rude!), and LouAnna really likes Evie. She kept screaming at her and pulling her in to give her big slobbery baby kisses. It was really cute. Evie loved it.

And now, one more picture. Mikey's hot. Really, my husband is pretty freaking attractive, just so you know. He kind of has a Mark Ruffalo look. He's trying to look weird in this picture because he didn't want me to take it, but I like it.

"Chancho, I need to borrow some Sweats!"

Michael always calls Evie "Nacho" when she's shirtless because her body looks just like the guy on Nacho Libre, plus she has the curly brown hair to go with it. I got Evie out of the bath the other day but only had time to help her get underwear on before I went to get Andrew out. When I came back she was squeezing into a pair of Truman's sweats she had found. I saw her and just thought, "Nachoooo!" So I made her flex and took pictures. I thought it was pretty hilarious.

I went to college once...

Get a Cash Advance

Nick, Mikey says the reason you got a genius rating is because Mark is always speaking French on there. I'm just glad mine's not like first grade or something-- even if it is just all about my kids-- I like to think I speak on a bit higher level than that.

I've been thinking...

I haven't written in a bit, and while not much has happened-- except Truman has started on solid food
-- but I've been thinking a lot about different things. I've especially been thinking about the relationship between parents and kids.

When I graduated from high school, my dad spoke at the ceremony, and he quoted "I Hope You Dance" by Lee Ann Womack.
That song still makes me cry because I can hear my dad in it. My dad used to tell me he loved me more than he could describe, more than I loved him, more than I could ever know until I had kids of my own. He said he loved me so much it physically hurt. Last night I was sitting watching Andrew dish up his own yogurt, and then some for Evie, and I was listening to them have one of their cute sibling conversations, I knew (not for the first time) what my dad meant.

Since that graduation I have seen my dad as pushing me out the door to go and experience, but with his heart breaking just a little because he knows I won't really ever be coming back. I am watching my kids grow up so quickly and I want to keep them and hold them and love them forever like I do now, but I also want to see them learn and grow and become amazing adults and have amazing experiences.

I want everything for them, and every moment feels so filled with potential-- I need to fill them with love and teaching and the Spirit so their lives will be full with not a moment wasted. Sometimes I have these great moments where I'm playing "fire-guy" or cuddling or having deep conversations with my kids with no distractions and I am so content. But lots of days I regret all the in-between time when we just took care of business and took an hour getting dressed to go outside and enjoy the beautiful day only to have to come back in twenty minutes later. I ache thinking of how much I want for them and how many moments feel wasted with the mundane, or worse, with my worrying over lesser things or being too tired, lazy or grouchy.

Looking back on my childhood I think things will probably still turn out. I'm sure most of my days were boring, sit-around-doing-nothing-and-not-in-a-good-way kind of days, but all I remember are the little amazing moments in between all that. I still look up to and love my dad more than I can describe. I still adore my mom with that affection reserved only for our mothers-- and now that I'm a mom myself, my awe of her and my realization of what a brat I was grow daily (actually, the realization comes from adulthood a lot more than motherhood-- I'm not trying to call my kids brats here, though I'll admit they can be).

That bond between parents and kids is pretty amazing. I think maybe part of why we have families is to understand just a bit more of what Heavenly Father feels for us. I guess all I'm trying to say is-- This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for my family.

Holy Cute Kids, Batman!

Halloween was fun this year. We went trick-or-treating at an old folks' home and then visited cousins for a while. Andrew chose the costumes for everyone this year-- he wanted to be Batman, and he wanted his siblings in on it too, so Evie was Batgirl, and Truman was Robin. I made Truman's costume, the kids' capes, Andrew's shirt, and Evie's mask and headband. I spent two days straight hand-sewing muscles into the shirt-- I'm still not sure whether that was the wisest use of my time, but oh well.
Andrew's favorite part was, "That I got so much candy and that I got so much bubble gum."
Evie said her favorite part about Halloween was the candy. We loved her 50s hair.
Truman fell asleep half way through trick-or-treating, but woke up in time to eat some chocolate at Aunt Christy's, which he loved too much.

Some days you've gotta dance...

We've been sort of quarantined lately because we've all had a bad cold and didn't want to get any friends sick. Which was too bad after we finally started being so social... So we've been home going a little stir-crazy. To get rid of some energy, we've had a lot of dance parties. Andrew and Evie have really different styles-- He's more of a hip-hop break-dancer, and Evie likes to look cute and sway from side to side and maybe shake her butt a little. But they both like the same music: Things like "Feel Good Inc" by the Gorrillaz, "I am Superman" by REM, and of course "The Wheels on the Bus" by Veggie Tales.

Friends

I decided to be a little more social lately and start inviting people in the ward to hang out more. We played at the park and swapped babysitting with one family, and we walked to the park with another family a couple days later and had them over for lunch-- it's been fun for my kids to have something to do besides hang out with me, and it's been nice for me too. These kids here are Lucy and Franky-- our bishop's kids. They're pretty cute-- Evie really likes them. She tries to be just like Lucy, and I think Franky has a little crush on Evie. It's funny.

Family Pictures

We took family pictures a few weeks ago. We did it right before church so we had to hurry, and I'm a little sad we didn't take more because I don't love any of the three that we took of our whole family. But here are a few just so you can see...

Aunt Bubba

Bubba was a cheerleader at the powder puff game for homecoming. (He's on the far right). This was his second year. Nae played for the juniors-- they lost in overtime, of course (it's rigged).

The things you'll do for your grandparents...

So on our trip to Shelley for Spud Day this year (my decision to go was made official when my grandma mentioned on Evie's birthday card that they were looking forward to seeing us then), my grandpa had a little train engine he made out of an old lawnmower and a kind of trolley car to pull behind it; then they decorated it all up for Spud Day. They planned to have certain members of their posterity represent the family by riding on it in the parade. Those certain members were also expected to wear potato sacks over their heads like clothing.

My first reaction was, "Great! That will be fun for the kids. It'll be cute." Then I was informed that I was to be one of those lucky burlap-clad individuals... I had to rethink this. I did it, though, without even mentioning that I'd had second thoughts. Because my grandparents wanted me to. My dad did it too, so that made me feel a little better. Actually, I was surprised to realize I wasn't even embarrassed riding around in front of my entire home town with a bunch of little kids and wearing a gunny-sack-- I was wondering if I should be embarrassed that I wasn't embarrassed.

It turned out pretty good: We waved. The kids threw candy. Evie dropped candy. I picked it up and threw it for her so no one would get ran over. And we won first prize. My grandpa looked pretty proud-- it was cute. I think he was more excited that someone thought he did an awesome job than about the hundred bucks he got as part of the prize. But then that probably just reimbursed him for the money he spent to do it in the first place.

Here's a picture of the train-- I'm the one walking behind, dodging horse poop and picking up candy to re-throw.

Here's a good look at my kids in their "costumes."

Cousins, cousins, cousins!

We went to boise for Labor Day weekend, where the kids got to hang out with every single one of their cousins. It was very fun. I should have taken a lot more pictures.

We actually went to attend the newest cousin, LouAnna Mae Borup's baby blessing (she's Daniel and Camille's first), so she and Truman, her closest cousin in age posed for a couple pictures.

We also did a little photo shoot with the four kids that were born in 2005: Eric (Brent and Jeanette's), Evie, Kaitlyn (Julie and Jonathan's), and Landon (Christy and Jayson's). They hadn't seen each other since they were babies. I really liked this picture.

Here's one from the last time they were all together:

Happy Birthday Evelyn Clementine!

Evie had a simple, yet satisfying birthday this year-- a few presents, a lot of balloons, and a small family barbeque with watermelon and a birthday cake were enough for our crazy two-year-old sweetie.

I put her in a box with a bunch of the balloons her daddy blew up for her during her nap and she just sat in there for a while.

Evie loved her presents: she got a baby, a bottle, and stroller this year.

She especially loved the stroller she got: all day she kept saying, "I'm spoiled, I got a stroller! I'm lucky!" It was awfully cute. She also likes to tell us that: "I'm awfully cute, Mom."

Crissa and This Summer

We had Crissa living with us up until a couple weeks ago, so she got to participate in the most bizarre (I hope) summer of our lives-- two weeks after she moved in we became homeless and moved to a gross motel, where we lived for two weeks, spending more money than we should to get out of there in the evening. The kids and I also got good and tan because we spent all day at the park (it was that or watch cable all day).

Then we moved to a slightly less gross motel-- studio 6, where we stayed through both mothers day and my birthday-- about a week and a half. After that we moved in with our aunt Rebecca (about five days), which was actually kind of fun, though awkward because we felt like we were imposing. The kids and I enjoyed shopping and swimming with her, though, and their fun backyard. We then stayed in the smallest part of our triplex while we finished up a few things to try and close and while we kicked a crazy lady out of the main house before moving in there ourselves and doing a LOT of scrubbing.

We also got the flu twice and a few colds this summer, and, of course, had Truman-- the best part. And Crissa got to share in all of that. Crissa had a few interesting dates (and I mean a VERY few, unfortunately)-- like the guy who fed her his leftovers, and the purple dreadlocks guy from our ward.

Here is a picture to illustrate our sisterly bond (this was actually taken last summer, not this):

It's been a while

Wow, I haven't written in a while. There's lots to write about so I'll go in order: I bought my iPod-- a new nano in red. It's hot. Watch the ad here: http://www.apple.com/ipodnano/ads/ -- it also has a pretty cool song. I've been enjoying getting audiobooks from the library to put on it. I also came out of the closet with my love for country music and got a bunch from my dad. So I guess I'm not completely out of the closet because I still only listen to it without headphones when Mikey's at work. But I feel the need now to confess something: Country music makes me teary-eyed much more than I'd like to admit.

Another iPod dilemma

So last night Michael told me they're going to let me start doing some work for Realty Executives at home for about $300/month. I'll need windows for it, though, so now we're thinking of getting a new iMac and selling this one. Then we could get Crissa to buy it with her student discount and end up spending about $900. With this I'd also get a free iPod-- whichever one I want (actually it's a $200 rebate). So now I'm wondering, should we do that right away, or wait until I've made some money-- meaning, again, that I'll be waiting for my iPod. Or should I just buy the iPod now and deal with the computer thing later?

To wait or not to wait?

So Key bank is offering a free iPod nano for people who sign up with their checking and keep it for 180 days. This is good news because I have been planning to get a nano since my birthday (my parents gave me cash), but we could really use the money elsewhere. This is bad news also because I wanted to get one right away so I can run with it, or do late-night chores with it, or whatever and now I'm tempted to wait, which may make me postpone starting running again, or at least slack off on it more. Also I would probably just end up with a white 2Gb one instead of a Lime-green or red 4Gb like I wanted. What do you think I should do, friends? Is it worth the wait, or worth the money? I just don't know how patient I am, and though I at one point had the cash for it, all my birthday money actually ended up going towards the house and stuff. Hmmm...

Truman's baby blessing

Here are some pictures of Truman in the outfit he was blessed in. There is also a good sample of his handsome baby smile. He's a little schlumpy, though.

How my kids are coping...

Since Truman was born, I have had a LOT less time for Andrew and Evie, and it shows in various ways. I'm never sure whether to rejoice at their new-found independence and friendship or just feel guilty for not being around for them and playing with them more. I'm not sure whether I feel more sad when they cry that they miss me and need me, or when they go off on their own and learn to do without me.Andrew and Evie are becoming best friends in my absence because they have to entertain themselves, so they also entertain each other. Here, Evie fell asleep at the table after eating a bowl of yogurt. I didn't even realize she was done until she was fast asleep.
They are also spending more time with their crazy Aunt Crissa. I'm not sure what I'm going to do when she goes back to school.

Ode to my Husby

So, a while back Michael noted that I had never mentioned him in my blog. I think he's right. This isn't because I don't love him or that I don't think about him: it's just that nothing really has changed about him recently. He is my constant. He his the one I run to frazzled at the end of the day to provide me with some sense of security, and with the reassurance that someone adores me and thinks I'm great despite my inability to cope too well with everything else (mostly my kids). I don't think he gets enough credit for this. I won't go on and on about how wonderful he is, because it would do him embarrassingly little justice-- I can't say enough and in quite the right way for all who read not to still think, "mine's better." (I know this because I also think that when I hear others praising their spouses--although, don't get me wrong, I understand that yours is better for you.) Just know that, though I don't have much specific to blog about him, I love my husby's guts!


Mikey is always kind of behind the scenes-- he helps a lot to bring about the good things in life, but rarely gets credit for it.

Living in the moment

Tonight I jumped in puddles and ran barefoot outside in the rain with Andrew and Evie. I could have done that forever, if only I could have gotten past the fact that it was almost bedtime and I have a million things to do each night between their bedtime and mine. I think I'm getting a little better at enjoying the small things and living in the moment, though.

The third child will have no baby book

Both these pictures were taken in the first week Truman was home. I am not entirely sure we've taken pictures since. I now know why the third child doesn't have a baby book, or very many pictures. Andrew averaged like ten pictures a day for the first month or so of his life. Truman's under one, I think.
Isn't he handsome, though?

I can't believe how busy I am! I feel like I have no time to breath, or that all the time I take to do anything is stolen from somewhere else. I just hope I can enjoy this incredibly busy time and make the most of it. So this morning I resolved to spend an hour with my two oldest first thing after breakfast every day playing the way they want. We built a spaceship out of our trampoline. It was really fun. Then we jumped. I plan to spend at least another hour of dedicated time with them today just being with them and not getting distracted. I also plan to find at least two good times during the day when I can take my time feeding and holding and talking with Truman. It makes me feel full instead of like I'm running on empty when I really dedicate myself to my time with my kids instead of just rushing from task to task.

One more picture for now.

This is a picture I just discovered that Mikey took and had already on the computer. Now you can see his hair.

Truman Daniel Borup

Truman was born at 12:18 pm yesterday (July 8th). He weighed 7 lbs. 8.9 oz and was 20.5 inches long. Everything went really well, and we just came out of it more exhausted than usual. I slept like constantly for about 36 hours. Truman is still sleeping. Here's a picture of Truman with his daddy, who he looks a lot like. And just to be fair... here's me. We have better pictures of him, showing the usual lots of curly hair and stuff, but our camera died before I could get them all imported, so I'll post more later.

I get a little crazy...

This is me one week overdue.
So, I am really good at being pregnant, I discovered. I don't have much (if any) morning sickness. I also look pretty freaking hot, I think--I don't get stretch marks or varicose veins. I do, however, get impatient. At the end of my pregnancies, I always do a lot of stupid, crazy things to try to induce labor. And, truth be told, just to see if I can. Let me, for example, tell you about my day today. I spent my last saturday as a mother of two doing things most mothers of two stopped doing long ago because it's childish and crazy, and, after having two kids, there's a high risk of peeing your pants. I got up this morning and tried to start the day normally, but after a couple of hours of moving and unpacking boxes, I got bored and decided ten days overdue is too long. So I went out and jumped on the trampoline. I did a lot of "bumsies" but was too afraid to do any flips. I did like the way my hair looked so wild-- I felt like an eight-year-old.

When jumping for a long time didn't give me any contractions to speak of, I decided to go for a jog. That's right, I went for a jog. I put on my sports bra and tank top, which is unable to cover my belly at this point, along with something called a "belly band" for a little extra support as I was jarring myself, and started running laps around the house. My husband encouraged this and came out to watch, sitting in our kiddie pool, shouting, "Go, Jamie, go!" every time I passed. This didn't give me any contractions either.

So we went for a ride in his pickup. We took the bumpiest roads we could find and went off a lot of curbs, then we did some figure-eights in a church parking lot. That gave me a few small contractions occasionally, but apparently I'm not only good at being pregnant, I'm good at staying that way.

Then I came home and, after taking a bath in our new jetted tub, I was starting to have regular contractions. They weren't hard ones, but we were feeling like all the random contractions during the day must have at least helped me progress to being dilated to four, which is when a friend told me they no longer send you home. So we decided to confidently go to the hospital, despite my underlying feeling that being in labor should hurt more than this. They, of course, sent us home. I did start having hard contractions by the time we left, though. They just weren't regular or close together.

Now it's 5am and I'm up counting contractions (the hard ones are still like half an hour apart) because I'm too excited to sleep and pretty sure I should be having the baby in the next 24 hours at least.

I'm glad, too, because I was beginning to lose faith in all the self-induced labor advice I've come across on the internet. I'd hate to think I have no control over when the baby comes...

Hooray for a home!

So, most of you have heard about our home-buying ordeal-- the motels, the repeated disappointments, the waiting one week at a time. Well, it is not all for nothing. In fact, it turned out very well. Not only have we learned to appreciate the very simple and basic, but after experiencing nearly every setback possible we have finally come to a good spot. We will be closing on our house, for reals this time, I'm pretty sure, on Wednesday. We were also able to get the price lowered significantly (because apparently that was a big part of the problem getting lending the whole time).

More about how that went later. Here's the great news for now: we have moved in! We are officially living in a home! Not a temporary, fit here till we work things out home, but the home we could stay in for a long time! It's great! After a LOT of cleaning up, it's becoming really livable, and we have so much room. And I'm SO excited to start actually decorating this place!

Evaluating my life's choices

Yesterday we had a lesson in Relief Society on divorce, and we talked about how lots of people feel that marriage stifles their freedom and holds them back from reaching their potential as an individual. This made me think about my life-- I was married and pregnant before my nineteenth birthday. Most of my young adult life will be spent chasing small children in order to get their clothes on, or playing "fort" under a card table where I barely fit with two little kids.

I have friends who spent these years single, traveling the world, building fascinating careers, and developing amazing talents one can really only develop much when completely independent and on their own-- like figure-skating. They are incredibly interesting people with all kinds of exciting stories to tell about their lives and what they did, while I was home nursing babies and planning family menus. I love hearing about all this, but feel a little awkward about it occasionally when I realize I have very few, if any, experiences that compare with their adventures.

So I wondered to myself, am I a less interesting person, less fulfilled, because I jumped into marriage and family life at such a young age? Do I lack a certain charisma and wisdom I could have gained along the path of adventurous, single-adult life? You know what? I doubt it. I look at myself and, to be honest, don't think I could have become quite the person I am today without my family and the things I've learned from being a wife and mother.

I've become more confident, more assertive (things I've always had trouble with on my own), and, really, I think better-looking, partly out of need, and partly because I've had a safe environment to become these things and someone I really adore there behind me encouraging and urging me on. I have lost a lot of the selfish, judgmental, immature person I know I was as a teenager through late-night feedings and on-knees scrubbing of other people's carpets as I passionately apologize for ignorantly bringing my nauseous-and-unable-to-run-to-the-toilet child into their home. I've grown in ways I never could have without my little family, and you can't argue that at least a couple of the things I've accomplished so far are going to last quite a while (like forever).

So, though the stories aren't usually that great for now (or at least not that appropriate to tell over lunch), and there are no talent shows or competitions to commend my amazing diapering and debating-with-angry-toddler abilities, I'm still pretty sure this was the right way to go.

Besides, Michael and I make really good-looking babies.

Great imaginations

My kids have great imaginations. They can make a toy or a game or a fort out of anything. And I think they're learning to play by themselves without relying on me to always participate in, say, building a fort or pretending to be superheroes. (Not that that's not fun, but honestly sometimes I'm just to tired to run around the way they want me to.)

This is Andrew as Muscle Man. He spent a lot of time on the trampoline dressed this way last week... I'm not sure why I let him, but I guess no one could really see him in the backyard. Evie even joined in the fun at one point with her blanket (but she kept her clothes on) and they both practiced flying with their capes on the trampoline.

This is Evie kissing her "baby"-- poor girl! All her dolls are in storage right now! She found this on her own, though, and likes to carry it around like a baby and put it in its crib-- the entryway, which is a step down from our living room. She also insists that we all get a turn to hold her baby now and then.