Book Club Anyone?

I've never been in a book club, but I always thought it would be fun. So I thought maybe I could book club on my blog. I realize it's not ideal, but we could get together anyone who's interested, and then I'll blog about it and everyone else can respond for their input. Anyone interested? Any book ideas? I think a classic would be fun but I'm open to suggestions.

Business has been delayed to the point I won't be opening until the beginning of next year. It's been pretty frustrating having to wait and getting set back so much, but I'm sure things will work out eventually. Once things get moving, I'll update you on it. Till then, book club. Peace.

Hmmm

I'm way past updating but I don't know what to say. I could tell you about Thanksgiving. Or I could tell you about my business. Or I could tell you about my cat Barnaby.

Instead, I'll tell you why if a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, then it in fact does not make a sound.

First I have to clarify to all you smarty pants out there. We will be assuming that in addition to no one being there to hear the tree fall, there is also no thing there to hear the tree fall. No squirrels or bugs or anything like that. But we'll clear that up in the conclusion statement.

Okay, now we have to establish what a sound is. The information I am about to share is taken from the book The Diagnosis and Correction of Vocal Faults by James C. McKinney.

There are four thing needed in order for there to be a sound:
1. A vibration.
2. Something that creates the vibration.
3. A medium through which the vibration can travel (air, water, jello).
4. Something to receive that vibration and interpret it as sound (an ear).

So let's go through the steps. First, a vibration. Yes, there is a vibration caused by the crashing tree. Second, something that creates the vibration. It kind of follows that if you've got number one then number two was already there. In this case it's the tree causing the vibration as it falls to the ground. Third, a medium through which the vibration can travel. Unless this is a space forest, we'll go ahead and say air is the medium of travel. But then we get to number four. Remembering that we've cleared this forest of all creatures capable of hearing and that God has created a no listening zone in the area imposing it even on Himself, we can't fulfill the fourth thing needed to make sound. You see, unless there is something to interpret a vibration as a sound, it remains a vibration.

In conclusion, if a tree falls in a forest and there is no one or thing there capable of receiving a vibration and interpreting it as sound to hear it, then it does not make a sound. Peace.

Something New, Something Blue

Okay, so nothing blue, but all of my fans (you know who you are) have been begging me for a new post.

Updates. The roaster is here! Finally finally I thought the day would never come and the rest of my life would be one big holding pattern. But the roaster is here and this past week I got it all vented up through the roof. Next I have to get a gas line installed, put in a few sinks and a ceiling, paint a little here, seal a little there, and put in some floor boards and I'll be ready to go. Ideally I could be finishing up in one to two week and be up and going just before Thanksgiving.

In the middle of all this, Mom is moving over here to Savannah She figured since two of her baby boys are here and she misses us oh so much she'd just come on over and join the party. I'm really excited she's coming over and looking forward to some family fun as the wedding comes up.

Wedding you say? Yes, my brother Josh is officially engaged to his girlfriend (now fiance) Stephanie. I've been nominated best man and am being moral support and all the other things that position involves.

Friends! I'm making new friends here and I'm really glad.

Zooey is doing well. She says tweet to all the readers out there.

That's all for now, I don't always do that many life updates, so for those of you wanting to know what's going on with me, you're welcome. Peace.

Midnight Crazies

Welcome to this weeks edition of the Midnight Crazies, where I can't get to sleep because of all the things going through my mind making me want to go crazy.

Tonight's specific crazy is the classic replay mode, where I get stuck on specific events that have happened to me and play them over and over again. Now, the way my spastic mind works is that I play the event, then offer commentary. Usually the commentary is me having an imaginary conversation with someone either related to the event, or who knows all involved. I tell said person (who it is varies on the event) all that happened, whether it was a specific event or a series of related events, then offer my hindsight on the event as to what I should or shouldn't have done or said. Then repeat. Sometimes on to a new event, sometimes the same one. Sometimes I think I actually do fall asleep, then dream about my midnight crazies.

So when I get the midnight crazies, I have to get out of bed and do something to snap my brain out of the cycle.

I'm' singing Mozart's requiem this Sunday. That should be fun.

My burps taste like French onion soup.

My coffee roaster is supposed to come in this week (just like last week and the week before that . . . and the month before that).

I'm teaching myself Socratic logic as well as the blues.

I'm trying to learn more about redemption.

I made a pizza the other day.

That's all for now. Peace.

Cafe

Chapter 1

“Why is it that you insist on doing this every day?” She asked as she held the warm cup in her hands. “It’s a waste of time and I don’t even like tea.”
“It’s because we’re so busy we do this,” he replied “because we have so much going on in our lives. We need a time to slow down and collect our thoughts for the day. Morning doesn’t work because you would rather sleep as long as you possibly can before rushing to work instead of coming over here to wake up in deliberate, dignified manner and enjoy a quiet moment with your friend before the day begins. “ He poured a splash of cream into his amber filled cup making it a murky brown. “And it’s not that you don’t like tea, you just don’t appreciate it. Yet.”
Alex was a musician. He wasn’t a very good musician, but he thought he was so he spent his days at his one room shack of a third floor apartment writing his masterpieces, none of which were completely finished. No one was quite sure how he paid for anything, but rent came on time and there was always money for tea, which he called his “Existential bliss”. No one was quite sure what that meant.
Samantha was also a musician. She actually was very good, but didn’t think she was so she held a regular job and lived in a regular apartment.
“Is Brennan working tonight?” Asked Samantha, nose wrinkling from another sip of tea while simultaneously reaching for the sugar. “He’s worked every night this week.”
“I hope not,” Replied Alex, who then took a sip from his cup and gave a sigh of either bliss or existentialism, one could not tell. “Lord knows he needs some time off.”
Brennan was the third musician of the trio. Brennan was an excellent musician, and knew it too. But Brennan never performed in public or wrote music that anyone knew about. He did teach private lessons, but never touched the instrument or sang a note while he taught. He was an excellent teacher.
As well as teaching,, Brennan worked most nights at the local café where Alex purchased his tea. On his night off, he hung out with Alex and Samantha. Most of the time they ended up hanging out at the café. Brennan didn’t mind this because he and the café were one. Much like Alex and his tea.
It was late Fall, one of those Falls that make you sigh when you think about it. The weather was getting cooler but not cold, the rustle of leaves was the only indication of a slight breeze. A perfect time to pick up jogging but not have to be in it for the long haul because you knew it would be too cold for it in a month. Not too cold for iced tea (is it ever?), not too hot for a warm cup of coffee or hot chocolate. Or existentialism.
Alex and Samantha rode to the café on a scooter. The scooter belonged to Samantha. Alex didn’t believe in the unnecessary use of fossil fuels so hitched rides to places further than a bike ride a way. He sat carefully and somewhat rigidly (Samantha wasn’t the best of drivers) on the back of the scooter while balancing the last of his tea in a small Styrofoam cup (the tea was in the cup, not Alex).
Down the not so busy street they zoomed. Zigging and zagging, not to avoid traffic, but because this Fall was one of those Falls and Samantha felt alive. The wind on her face made her want to sing, but she didn’t because she thought her voice sounded anemic. Instead she zigged and zagged.
Before they could even enter the café they heard Dan. Dan was always in the café. Not literally always, but enough that one could say he was always there. Dan was always at the café because Dan loved coffee, and Dan loved people. Most of all Dan loved to laugh. It was the same kind of laugh that belongs to a maniacal pirate, but Dan was so friendly and his face was so kind that when he laughed it didn’t seem maniacal at all. He did frighten small children though.
Dan spotted Alex and Samantha as they walked in. “Come in, and know me better man!” he cried.
They came and sat at Dan’s table. “What is that from?” asked Alex, who, thought that anything interesting anybody said (besides himself) was stolen from another person.
“The Muppets.” Said Dan with a twinkle in his eye. Then he burst out laughing again.
Café Lift was a coffee shop where musicians, poets, businessmen, rich, poor, young, old, all felt welcome. It was where the cool people and the people who wanted to be cool hung out. Set on the corner of Straight Street, it was far enough away from Main Street to avoid the frantic busy feeling people on that street experienced, but close enough that there was always a decent amount of people inside.
“What can I get for you?” Said the waitress walking up to them.
“Just a small coffee for me.” Said Samantha.
“Can you heat this up for me?” Asked Alex, swirling what was left of his cup of tea.
“Bad form!” Came a voice from behind. Samantha and Alex turn around to see Brennan walking up with a half scowl half amused expression on his face. ”Bringing in an outside beverage and asking to have it heated up is frowned upon in the coffee business.”
“First of all, this is tea, not coffee,” retorted Alex, “and this is tea that I purchased from this establishment, making it a drink from here, making it okay for me to ask for it to be heated up. Why should I pay twice for the same product?”
“When you buy tea to take home to make, it’s meant to be made and consumed at home.” Said Brennan, in an overly dramatic way. “When you come here to for tea, you pay for the service of us making it as well as enjoying the environment this establishment offers.”
During this whole conversation, the waitress went between reaching for the cup that Alex still had raised in the air, to pulling her hand away, depending on who seemed to have the advantage in the argument. Finally she just stood there, frozen with a look of helplessness.
Brennan waited a few seconds because her expression amused him, then said, “Go ahead an heat it up for him. But this is the last time!” He warned.
“I’m sure.” Muttered Samantha.
As it turned out, Brennan did have the night off and joined the table.
“So what exciting adventures do the three of you have planned tonight?” inquired Dan.
“I dunno,” replied Alex “ probably the same thing we always do. Sit around and talk about stuff till the shop closes, then walk around town and talk about stuff till someone gets tired and we go home.”
“ Actually,” intervened Brennan “I have a little surprise for our trio this evening. With your permission, I’d like for us to go to an undisclosed location for an undisclosed event.”
“Oooooo.“ Samantha cooed “ Sounds mysterious.”
“I’ll bite,” said Alex “ but I highly doubt it’s going to be as exciting as you’re making it sound.”
“That’s fine, set your expectations low, that way you’ll be even more blown away when we get there.” Brennan said with a gleam in his eye. “This adventure could very well change our lives.”
“A real life adventure!” Dan said with a big smile on his face. “That’s something everyone needs to have at least once in their life. I’ve had my share, it’s good to see you three are beginning one. Be careful, but not too careful, for that’s part of what the adventure is all about isn’t it?”

I've Decided I Don't Have Insomnia

My sleep schedule is just whack. I can't help it. It's a vicious cycle. Hopefully (I hope everyone knows hopefully isn't a word, I'm merely falling prey to the colloquialism as so many have before me) once I get business started I'll have a regular work schedule, which will aid in the sleep schedule.
That being said, I can't sleep. And sometimes when I can't sleep, I resort to blogging. However, I'm tired of always coming up with random things to talk about. Now I think it's you're turn. So, post a reply on this blog about what you would like for me to blog about. All entries need not be serious, but all will be taken seriously. I'll then write blogs based on ideas I like. No guarantee that your request will be blogged about, but there won't be a specific winner or anything. I'll just go to the next one I like.
Remember kids, you have to actually reply in order for me to blog about something. So don't be shy, step on up. You'll do just fine. Peace.

Political Thoughts

After much consideration, I've decided that I do not want to run for the President of the United States. In fact, other than Poet Laureate, National Bard (should that ever become instated as a position), or the Ambassador to the Bahamas, I can't think of any political office I would like to hold.
In light of these epiphanies, I officially request my name not be used as a write in for the upcoming election. However, should the future President require my assistance as advisor or personal barista, I would feel obligated to take that position. Since I am a bipartisan barista, reaching across party lines to make sure everyone gets a good cup of coffee, I feel qualified to serve coffee to either candidate should they become President. No promises about the advice. Peace.

Prayer Request

So things are moving right along with the shop. I have a space, I'm getting paperwork and such things accomplished. But the roaster is still sitting in Mexico. It would be really wonderful if the masses that read this blog would pray that the people with the company down there will get themselves in gear. I start paying rent in two weeks so I'd love to have it in before then. Mike, my coffee mentor helping me from Guatemala, is calling tomorrow to try to get things moving. Pray he has a good conversation and gets things accomplished. Thanks for the prayers everyone. Peace.

Longing in Music (WARNING, MUSIC NERD ALERT)

There are some songs that do that thing to you, I don't know how else to describe it but to call it longing. It's the kind of ache that's good. The kind of feeling you feel on a beautiful Fall day. Now, I imagine this experience is found in different music for different people. There are certainly voices that can accomplish this at least in part. Voices such as Alison Krauss, Norah Jones, and Karen Kasey (an Irish singer) have voices that, at least for me, can cause that longing in a good song.
However, I would argue that specific songs themselves are capable of this longing. Among the songs that do that for me are Winter by Bayside (for those of you who have listened to anything else from this band, it is something completely different from their norm, which is, not the most feel good music), Autumn, by Andrew Peterson, Comes a Time by Mutual Admiration Society, and a majority of the choral works (at least that I've heard of) of Morten Lauridsen.

Who is Morten Lauridsen, you ask (admittedly, you probably asked that about some of the other people I mentioned)? Well my friend, let me tell you. Morten lauridsen is one of the most performed contemporary choral composers today. Why? Because his music moves, nay, stirs you. I first came across him while I was in college. My choir performed his arrangement of Sure on This Shining Night.
Singing in a choir is a wonderful experience, and can be much richer than just listening. But singing this piece was something altogether different for me. I'd never had a piece so vividly evoke images and emotions in me, it's truly amazing. I found a recording of the piece on youtube. It's not the best quality, but I hope it gets the idea across. As a side note, that is Mr. Lauridsen playing the piano.



I still get chills every time I listen to it.

So anyway, I set out to find what this longing was in a musical sense. I looked for a connection between the songs, and I found that a key element was the interval of a perfect fourth. Either in chordal progression or melodic movement. I thought, that was neat. That's really what all that was about. And, listen to Morten Lauridsen. Peace.

More of Zooey

Because you can't have enough Zooey. Peace.

Website's Up! (kinda)

So it turns out I haven't been a complete bum in getting my business started and actually have my website almost put together. You can check it out at www.cuptocupcoffee.com. It's not completely done yet (for example, there's no coffee available, hehe) but it's well on it's way.
On a similar note, I'm looking at a space that has lots of potential. Please pray everything goes smoothly if this is the right spot.
And I'm disappointed in the lack of comments on how beautiful my god daughter is. Peace.

Dream

Okay, new dream. I'm going with my friend to get a snow cone. We're listening to the radio and somebody is playing a song that is clearly a rip off of one of my songs. Same words slightly different music. I get all worked up about it. Sylvester Stallone has stolen my song and used it as his own! We go to order a snow cone and as I make my order I see all the snow cones are already made. It's okay because my friend had the flavor I wanted (watermelon and grape striped) and gives it to me. The only thing is, it's not a snow cone, it's colored flavored water and ice. Then I start looking for the lost and found while I complain to Sylvester (who has shown up) how he stole my song. We just can't find the lost and found. The end. Peace.

Aiden

I went back home this weekend for the dedication of my god daughter Aiden. Here we are together.




Isn't she just the cutest thing ever? Peace.

Culture War

I'm usually self absorbed enough that everything on this blog is about me or something I've thought of. I rarely share other web sites or sources to consider. But today I'm making an exception. While traveling home this weekend to attend the dedication of my god-daughter to the Church, I listened to some lectures on my ipod by a man named Peter Kreeft.
Peter Kreeft is a professor of philosophy at Boston college. I've listened to his lectures before and I enjoy his wittiness, insight, and boldness in his sharing. While I don't necessarily agree 100 percent of the time with his ideas, they always make me think. But the lecture I heard coming home was one of the best that I have heard in a very long time. It's titled "How to Win the Culture War." In it he talks about the immorality of our society and where it is heading without change in the Church. He labels what we need to know about the war, who we are at war against, and what we need to do to win it. I won't go into detail because he does a far better job of explaining himself than I do. Instead I encourage you to go to www.peterkreeft.com and listen to it. You might also enjoy other lectures of his. He is a big fan of C.S. Lewis, Thomas Aquinas, and J.R. Tolkien and give much insight into their works. Peace.

Spring

Last year while we were in Peru, one of my teammates got me a little musicians book with a place to put the words and a place to put the music. Naturally I felt the need to break such a great gift in with a stunning masterpiece. What actually came out was a song I didn't really expect. It's not deeply spiritual. It's not spectacularly all over the place. There is no dance interlude. But it's actually one of my favorite songs I've written. I like it's easy going feel, it makes me think of that genre of music I can't remember the name of right now.
In theroretical terms, this is my most complex piece. The use of secondary dominants (V7/V, V/ii), and modal borrowing (iv from the aeolian mode) provide richness not found in my other pieces. I was also inspired to use descending 6 chords from my recent analysis of Claude Debussy's Arabesque no. 1. This paragraph has been a shameless showing off of my musical knowledge, I hope you enjoyed it.
A note (no pun intended) on the singing. Once I get the idea in my head to record a song and put it online, I get impatient and perfection is not in my sight. Pardon the missed notes and not warmed up voice. And if I look a little scruffy and rough and disheveled, it's because I am. Peace.

Unemployed

So I got fired. Sort of. I had been teaching piano lessons to a guy here for a little (very little) extra cash flow. He was excited about starting and learning, had played sax in middle school but forgot most of it and was eager to get things going. We had a good first lesson learning the notes on the lines and spaces of the bass and treble clef, I gave him a scale to learn, taught him the C Major chord and all was well. I was determined to teach more than notes on a page, and more than chords to fake with. My student was going to be a well rounded musician knowing not just how to read and play music, but how it worked. But then we missed a week, then he asked for an extra week because he needed to practice. then we met, then there was a bad storm. It was one of those things where somehow you just know it's not gonna be easy. Every week we did meet I'd asked how he did practicing and every week it was "well not so great".
The thing is this guy really reminded me of myself when it came to making excuses about practicing. I haven't had a good, regular practice schedule . . . well ever, and I have a degree in music. It kind of gave me that point of view of how maybe my teachers saw me and what they experienced while working with me. So last week I came to the lesson and he told me it would probably be our last for a while. The thing about teaching adults is that they are paying for the lessons themselves. A kid doesn't worry so much about missing a week of practice since he's not paying for the bill, but if you're shelling out your own dough you soon realize if you're not practicing you're wasting a lot of money. My student realized he just didn't have the time to practice and so lessons were not worth the investment at that time in his life. I asked if he wanted me to teach him then and he said yes since I took the time to come out. I told him I wouldn't take the whole time but wanted to give him a few things he could work with if he ever did find the time.
So I talked about major thirds and minor third and how to put them together to make triads. I talked about the scale degrees of the major scale and how each note has a corresponding triad. I wrote out the circle of fifths and showed him how to find the sharps and flats in each key. All in all it was a fairly brilliant lesson if I do say so myself.
I haven't decided how I feel about teaching music to adults. To be sure, there is the intellectualness that comes from working with someone of maturity. Also the reward of beautiful sound is easier to achieve and can reach greater levels. But there is still something in me that loves teaching kids. I think to see an adult grasp the understanding of secondary dominants is not nearly as rewarding as seeing a child grasping the understanding of same and different, or loud and soft. Peace.

Music

So it turns out Zooey has quite the musical taste. Sometimes she'll just sit there and enjoy the music like everybody else, but there's some music that she just loves. She'll start chirping and moving around the whole song. Yesterday we listened to a bunch of different music and I found out she's pretty picky. She's not into specific artists or genres. One song by a band will get her grooving but another does nothing. I haven't figured it out yet. So far here's a list of Zooey's favorite songs:

- Hound Dog by Elvis Presley (her favorite)

- Skater Boy and Complicated by Avril Lavinge

- Bump Bump Bump by B2K featuring P. Diddy

- Only Want to be With You by Hootie and the Blowfish

- Bad Bad Leroy Brown by Jim Croce

- Put Me in Coach by John Fogerty

- Heaven by Los Lonely Boys

- Supercalifragillisticexpialidocious by Marry Poppins

- Sweet Home Alabama live extended version (of course) by Lynyrd Skynyrd

- Enter Sandman by Metallica

Pretty impressive I know. Quite eclectic. Just more confirmation she's the right bird for me. Peace.

Zooey

This, is my new friend Zooey.



I know you have many questions. First, yes, she is that beautiful. Second, no, she's not loud or messy. Why a bird, you say? My landlord (brother) didn't want me to get a dog, but he said I could have a hamster or bird. I've had my share of hamsters but never my very own bird. Sure, we had birds growing up, but they were family birds. Zooey is all mine.

I went to the Pet Supermarket (yes, it's really called that) to look at birds and cages. I had decided on a parakeet, and we had a cage at home. Well Josh and I forgot to bring the cage back to Savannah with us so I just went in for a look. There was a bin with about 15-20 budgies (another word for parakeet) in there and I was looking at all of them. Then I saw her. She looked at me and said, "You're taking me home with you." So I did. I bought a new cage and food and a toys and brought her home. This is day four. she has gone from terrified to getting more used to the cage and chirping a little bit. Also the change in food has caused a few intestinal episodes but things are evening out I think.

Why Zooey, you ask? I could sight several Zooey's for reference. There is Zooey from the J.D. Salinger book Franny and Zooey which was a book I enjoyed. There is the actress Zooey Deschanel (you probably know her from Elf) whose voice I love. There is the character from the t.v. show Firefly, though I think she spells it Zoe. There is also a Sesame Street character named Zoe and I love all things muppet but that particular character is more recent than the days I regularly watched the show.

The real reason I named her Zooey is because that's her name. Duh. Peace.

Words

Today I'd like to talk to you about words we misuse and were taught to misuse. This is not spiritual merely vocabularical.

Have you ever told someone to turn the volume up or down? Have you done the same when referring to the air conditioning? Do you refer to musical notes as high and low? Well my friend are you in for a surprise, those are wrong terms. Let's think about it. When you turn the volume "up", what does that mean? does it literally rise higher above the ground? Does your stereo start floating? No, the correct term here is greater. The volume is greater or lesser, not higher or lower.

It's numbers that are causing this problem. We refer to numbers being higher and lower when this simply isn't true. Numbers are greater and fewer, more and less, not higher and lower. But somewhere in our education we were told numbers are higher and lower. We assign numbers to volume controls and this isn't wrong. Decibels measure volume, and the greater the number of decibels, the greater the volume. But we say the higher the decibels the higher the volume because numbers are high and low.

My handy Apple dictionary tells me that height is, Elevation above ground or a recognized level. To be sure, height is measured using numbers, but so is length and width. You wouldn't say one distance is higher away than another, you'd say it was further. For width you'd say wider. For Height you'd say higher. How is it that height has also been borrowed in so many things?

Not to say numbers don't interfere horizontally and circularly as well as vertically. We say a book is long. Is it really long? If you take out a measuring tape is the book really longer than others? Now, it may be that the book is literally wider. I've heard the phrase "That was a thick book", but really while you may be talking about the actual thickness of the book, odds are you are talking about the time it took to read it. Which brings us to time. People say "That took a long time" or refer to amounts of time. The correct term here is duration. Time and length really muck each other up. Just try to start talking about time without using the terms long, short, amount.

Let's take a look at music. Music takes everything we've talked about and uses them in the worst way. We talk about notes being high and low, or being long and short. Notes are measured in frequency and duration, not height and length. "Ah," you say, "But look at a piano, you look at a piano and you can tell that it goes from low notes to high notes." No you can't. A pianos are horizontal, not vertical. If a pianos notes went from low to high, each key would be physically higher than the other, making a most interesting instrument. "So you're saying a piano goes from right to left then" Not necessarily. I will admit that the frequency of notes are laid out from lowest to highest starting at the far left and moving to the far right, but do you play a piano from left to right? No, you play all over the place at different times. They are placed in that order for ease of use.

It seems everything we do is focused on up and down and left to right. We read from right to left, we learn numbers in a linear fashion: 1,2,3 . . . you turn your volume knob to the right to make it "higher" you change the channels on your T.V. "up" and "down". The worst is written music. In written music notes actually are higher and lower on the page and everything moves neatly from left to right.

It is interesting to note we read left to right, but top to bottom instead of bottom to top. I would think with everything we do referring to direction, moving from bottom to top would make more since. Oh well.

I guess what I"m getting at is that high and low, long and short, left to right all have their place in terms of ease of learning and points of reference, but we need to expand our minds beyond these tools of the trade.

Below are common phrases using several of the words I've talked about. Where there are errors, I'll offer more correct suggestions.

While one could be "high on their horse" so to say, it would be incorrect to refer to someone other than a builder or pilot or hot air balloonist as a "High achiever". I would suggest "Greater achiever" or "More achiever".

I'll give that one can be high as a kite, but "high roller" is just wrong. Maybe "A person who spends a great amount of money roller" would be more acceptable.

I'll give you the "Long arm of the law" as a witty phrase, but "Long time, no see" just won't do. Try, "Considerably more than the average duration, no see."

That's all for now. Peace.

Dreams

I haven't written anything in a bit and didn't know what to write, so I thought I'd share a dream with you. Don't get too excited, it's just a dream I had the other night and is really just something to waste time talking about.

So I"m at school (college) and I'm there talking to some classmates and I notice a lot of them are dressed up. Then they tell me it's choir picture day, didn't I get the email? No I didn't, I replied, my student email doesn't work anymore because I graduated, duh (though it seemed perfectly reasonable to be at school doing school things). So some people are already taking their pictures and I decide I"ll try to run home and see if I can make it back in time. So I'm running down the road, in my socks. Apparently I ditched my shoes at the school, who knows why. Then my crazy red headed friend Will picks me up and takes me home. I find everything for my tuxedo but my pants. No problem, I say, it's just a picture from chest up (when it moved from class picture to individual photos I don't know). So I head back to school. But instead of wearing shorts or something else in place of my pants, I just don't wear any pants at all.

I'll make a side note here that I've had more than one dream where I think for some reason it's perfectly acceptable for me to go in public without pants, then when I get in public and I realize what seemed like a great idea at home turned out to be not so great. But instead of going and putting pants on, I hide behind things like counters and bushes so nobody sees me in my underwear. I don't quite know the implications of that, but I'm sure Freud would have a field day.

So Will is taking me back to school but then it's not Will it's my classmate Tyler and he's showing me some calendar or something. Then we get there and I ask where Dr. Smith (choral conductor) is and somebody tells me he's gone, but he was looking for me to take my picture. The end.

Also, throughout the dream I realize I'm skipping class to get all this done and there was some other class I had missed a lot of.

Another side note is that I've had more than one dream where it's the end of the semester and I realize that I was signed up for a class and went the first day but promptly forgot about it for the rest of the semester and I don't know what to do. This is strange because in my five years of college I can count on one hand all of my unexcused absences there were so few. And in my dreams it's usually a math class I've missed which is strange because I only had to take one math class in college.

That is all. Peace.

Part Five (and still alive)

Okay so I'm finally getting around to finishing up our travels with Jacob. Last time we saw him he had once again pulled a tricky maneuver and was heading home. Now this is a big deal. Remember Jacob left because Esau was going to kill him, and now he's returning. Jacob decides to take a tactful approach:

3 Jacob sent messengers ahead of him to his brother Esau in the land of Seir, the country of Edom. 4 He instructed them: "This is what you are to say to my master Esau: 'Your servant Jacob says, I have been staying with Laban and have remained there till now. 5 I have cattle and donkeys, sheep and goats, menservants and maidservants. Now I am sending this message to my lord, that I may find favor in your eyes.' " Gen. 32:3-5

Here Jacob is putting himself under the authority of his brother, referring himself as a servant of Esau and seeking his favor. All in all, it's about the best move Jacob could have made given the situation. Here's what happens next:


6 When the messengers returned to Jacob, they said, "We went to your brother Esau, and now he is coming to meet you, and four hundred men are with him."

7 In great fear and distress Jacob divided the people who were with him into two groups, [b] and the flocks and herds and camels as well. 8 He thought, "If Esau comes and attacks one group, [c] the group [d] that is left may escape."

9 Then Jacob prayed, "O God of my father Abraham, God of my father Isaac, O LORD, who said to me, 'Go back to your country and your relatives, and I will make you prosper,' 10 I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant. I had only my staff when I crossed this Jordan, but now I have become two groups. 11 Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children. 12 But you have said, 'I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.' " Gen 32: 6-12


Jacob's messengers get back and they tell Jacob that Esau is coming and he's bringing his posse with him. Naturally Jacob starts wigging out. He divides his people into two groups so that in case the impending doom he expects to come does, then at least half of his people can escape. Then he gets on his knees. Jacob is on a roll here on doing the right thing. He asks God to remember the promise He made to make him prosper. Jacob acknowledges God's faithfulness and kindness and asks God to save him from the wrath of Esau.

It seems that after all this time Jacob is finally remembering how faithful and good God has been to him and is asking for God to fulfill His promise. Even though God hasn't failed Jacob yet, it's not hard to see why Jacob is a bit scared here. He's done a lot of wrong at home and although he is coming clean, asking for forgiveness, and humbling himself, it's no guarantee that things will end well for him.

These are life's hard things. It's hard for us to admit that we're wrong to our brothers (figurative and literal brothers), and often times it can be scary to do the right thing and admit our failures. Hurt has been done, and healing takes time and sometimes never happens at all. But it IS the right thing to do. Here Jacob is finally shaping up to be the man of God we all learn about.

Just in case, Jacob sends livestock galore with his servants over to Esau as a gift. He then sends his family and all his possessions ahead of him and spends the night in camp alone . . . or so he thinks.

After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. 24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. Gen 32: 23-24

So Jacob sends his family ahead and has a wrestling bout at camp with someone. Did Jacob know this would happen? Is he struggling with his decision to do the right thing? I really don't know the ins and outs of this but the wrestling goes on until daybreak:

26 Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak."
But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me."
27 The man asked him, "What is your name?"
"Jacob," he answered. Gen 32:26-27

Okay this is it, this is where it all goes down and what took me five very long blogs to write about. These guys wrestle all night long and as the sun is rising the man says look it's daybreak, let me go already. Jacob says not until you bless me. Here we go again. Jacob the blessing hoarder, getting everyones blessing and never being satisfied. And what does the man say? This is great. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

If this were a movie, right at this point the camera would zoom in on Jacob's eye into a flashback of him at Isaac's bed so long ago, dressed in Esau's clothes wearing fur pretending to be his brother. Isaac asks "Who is that?" Fade away zooming back out from Jacob's eye and it finally clicks. He finally gets it. All that treachery and lying Jacob did was to get a birthright and blessing that weren't meant for him. Yes he was blessed, but it was unsatisfying, not enough, somehow he needed more. I think Jacob realizes this is a loaded question. It's not a simple what's your name by the way so I get it right. The blesser here is making a point, saying "Do you see now? I want to bless YOU." Jacob finally says the right name, his own.

Here's the message. God want to bless you. Not a general blessing of wealth or knowledge or whatever, it's a very specific blessing for a very specific person. We get caught up in what God is doing in other people and we ask for that, we want what they have. We're asking for the wrong thing. Jacob wanted Esau's birthright and then Isaac's blessing. To be sure these were great things and very important to the culture, and as the younger son Jacob didn't have a chance at these wonderful things outside trickery. But they weren't meant for Jacob. In Jacob's mind, these were the epitome of blessing that could come to him, but in reality Gods blessing for Jacob was to be the father of many descendants and eventually the chosen people of God. After he admits his name and receives his blessing, he is even renamed Israel, the name of God's chosen people! Jacob had no idea this was in store for him, he could only see in the present, what was. We have the same problem, we ask for other peoples blessings because we see them and see they are good. But God is so far beyond our finite imaginations. He has something taylor made specifically for each of us if we only come to Him as ourselves as who we are in Christ.

Jacob's reunion with his brother went beyond what he could have hoped for. Esau greeted him with the love of a long lost brother.


So what do I want you to come away with from all of this? Don't be jealous of the blessings that God has given others, instead rejoice that God has done such a good thing. Ask God to bless you with the blessing he specifically has for you. This is the blessing that will bring the joy and satisfaction you're longing for. Peace.

Coffee Trek

Captains log, star date 062108307,
My search for an M class planet thus far has been fruitless. Sensor readings occasionally give signal for hope but end up being false projections from uninhabitable planets. I take out my shuttle craft daily but the constant dissappointment and shortage of dilithium crystals makes me want to conserve my efforts. My contacts with merchants along my travels have been hopeful, but what is the use of having the right supplies if you don't have a planet to be supplied? The emptiness of space wears on a man. My crew is present but they have their own stations to attend to. Patience is the key. A good captain isn't hasty but bides his time until just the right moment. Until that moment . . .

Vincent

While I was in Guatemala I was asked to learn the song "Vincent" by Don McLean. It's a song about Vincent van Gogh that depicts his tragic life as well as referencing several of his paintings most noticeably the work "The Starry Night" as mentioned in the opening lines.
Van Gogh's life was one filled with sadness and misunderstanding despite his yearning to do good. As a young man, he served as a minister's assistant and desired to be a preacher. He even spent time among the poor as a missionary. But these positions only led to frustration. Van Gogh desired serve the Lord through his art that it might lead others to God, but his work wasn't praised until after his death. He had strained friendships and relationships, most leading to his being rejected and abandoned. He was plagued by mental illness that, while ultimately contributing to his death through suicide, brought forth his most recognized paintings.
Mclean's song is tragically beautiful, yet lacking. It fails to give the hope that is offered in Christ. But it is thought provoking nonetheless. Peace




Note: information on van Gogh taken from wikipedia. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vincent_van_Gogh

Spano's Music Series

Due to the popularity of the last post, I've decided to continue providing music selections. Some will be original, others pieces I enjoy that have been written by others but I want to share with you.
As many of you know I am a classically trained musician. I have a degree in music education having graduated with highest honors. So I feel I would be remiss if I did not provide you with a sampling of that background. So todays performance will be an interpretation of Pachelbel's Canon in D.
Johann Pachelbel was one of the most important composers of the Baroque era. His Canon in D is one of the most recognized pieces of classical music. This puts a lot of pressure on those who perform it now. Making a well known piece of music sound fresh is a challenge even to the best of performers. I made this arrangement with my friend Chris Youell (who just so happened to have gotten married today, congratulations). Chris is a very skilled guitar player and I wish he was here to play it with me, so my apologies on my not as good playing. Hope you enjoy. Peace.

Crossroads

So while I was in Guatemala the coffee shop I worked with was called Crossroads and while I was there I wrote a song called . . . Crossroads. It comes from Jeremiah 6:16 which says,


16 This is what the LORD says:
"Stand at the crossroads and look;
ask for the ancient paths,
ask where the good way is, and walk in it,
and you will find rest for your souls.



I feel I've been negligent in my song writing in recent years. So I figured I'd make a little music video of my song. By music video I mean I sing the song while you look at my left hand and knee. It's a rough version, but I'm not looking for a record album, so who cares. Peace.

Becoming Who I Am

I've decided that I don't like this process of becoming who I am in Christ. I want the ing to be gone and have already become. Would it be that bad to be perfect? Well I guess Jesus was the only one who was perfect, and He got killed because of it. But He also rose again. My shoulders hurt, I just worked out. Did Jesus work out? Every now and then I hear someone talk about Jesus as a carpenter and how His work must have been perfect. I personally think His first chair probably broke when He tried to sit in it. And He made many things that were misshapen and some of His round tables turned out oval. Being sinless wouldn't have made Jesus a master carpenter, practice would have. I don't think Jesus was able to slam dunk, or shoot a bulls eye every time with a bow and arrow. I think that maybe one day Jesus was walking and thinking about something and not paying attention and maybe tripped over a stone and fell on His face. Or He occasionally stubbed His toe. Or read a map wrong and got lost.
I think we (or at least I) have a flawed perception of Jesus as a man. I wonder if people were so upset Jesus said He was the son of God because of the words themselves, or because Jesus was so down to earth. "Jesus? The carpenters son? The same guy that almost choked on a fish bone at that wedding?" They were expecting a giant muscle bound warrior riding a white steed. Instead they got a rabbi riding a donkey.
Let me make it abundantly clear I am in no way attempting to belittle Jesus with my words. I'm hoping my words make Him more real, tangible. I believe Jesus was sinless and blameless while He walked the earth. But it seems we misconstrue this to mean something it's not. I think sometimes we are just as guilty about our perception of Jesus as the people back then were. And now I have to re examine what becoming like Christ truly means.

Part Four, where Jacob gets booted out the door (not really)

So it's been a while since I wrote about good ole Jacob. Last time Laban pulled the old wife switcheroo and more or less got 14 years of service out of Jacob while also managing to mary off both of his daughters. Jacob, however, is not done being sneaky.
Jacob tell Laban he's ready to split. He's got wive and oodles of kids and is ready to head back to his homeland. Laban know what kind of loss this would be, as Jacob was a valuable worker. Laban asks Jacob what his wages are. Name your price says Laban, I want you to stay. Here's what happens:

25 After Rachel gave birth to Joseph, Jacob said to Laban, "Send me on my way so I can go back to my own homeland. 26 Give me my wives and children, for whom I have served you, and I will be on my way. You know how much work I've done for you."
27 But Laban said to him, "If I have found favor in your eyes, please stay. I have learned by divination that [i] the LORD has blessed me because of you." 28 He added, "Name your wages, and I will pay them."

29 Jacob said to him, "You know how I have worked for you and how your livestock has fared under my care. 30 The little you had before I came has increased greatly, and the LORD has blessed you wherever I have been. But now, when may I do something for my own household?"

31 "What shall I give you?" he asked.
"Don't give me anything," Jacob replied. "But if you will do this one thing for me, I will go on tending your flocks and watching over them: 32 Let me go through all your flocks today and remove from them every speckled or spotted sheep, every dark-colored lamb and every spotted or speckled goat. They will be my wages. 33 And my honesty will testify for me in the future, whenever you check on the wages you have paid me. Any goat in my possession that is not speckled or spotted, or any lamb that is not dark-colored, will be considered stolen."

34 "Agreed," said Laban. "Let it be as you have said." 35 That same day he removed all the male goats that were streaked or spotted, and all the speckled or spotted female goats (all that had white on them) and all the dark-colored lambs, and he placed them in the care of his sons. 36 Then he put a three-day journey between himself and Jacob, while Jacob continued to tend the rest of Laban's flocks.

37 Jacob, however, took fresh-cut branches from poplar, almond and plane trees and made white stripes on them by peeling the bark and exposing the white inner wood of the branches. 38 Then he placed the peeled branches in all the watering troughs, so that they would be directly in front of the flocks when they came to drink. When the flocks were in heat and came to drink, 39 they mated in front of the branches. And they bore young that were streaked or speckled or spotted. 40 Jacob set apart the young of the flock by themselves, but made the rest face the streaked and dark-colored animals that belonged to Laban. Thus he made separate flocks for himself and did not put them with Laban's animals. 41 Whenever the stronger females were in heat, Jacob would place the branches in the troughs in front of the animals so they would mate near the branches, 42 but if the animals were weak, he would not place them there. So the weak animals went to Laban and the strong ones to Jacob. 43 In this way the man grew exceedingly prosperous and came to own large flocks, and maidservants and menservants, and camels and donkeys.
Gen. 30:25-43

Jacob returns to his scheming ways, this time in the form of animal breeding. Jacob tells Laban the only wage he wants is the speckled and spotted sheep and goats. Laban says sure thing and heads off in some random direction. I'm not really sure how to explain this next part. Apparently the bark from these certain types of branches is the livestock equivalent to Marvin Gaye music and he uses them to get the strong sheep and goats to mate with certain spotted ones producing these super sheep and super goats. So now Jacob has the best flock in town and this makes him wealthy.

Now in Chapter 31 Laban's sons start grumbling about Jacob and what a punk he is. And Laban's attitude towards Jacob isn't as sweet as it was before either. So God tells Jacob that if he head on home, He'll take care of him. Jacob and Rachel and Leah work themselves up a pity party about how they've been mistreated and split town. Laban finds out a few days later and follows Jacob. As he gets closer, God speaks to Laban in a dream and says, "Be careful what you say to my boy" (Gen 31:24). Laban comes to Jacob and says "What's the big deal? you took my children and little grandchildren and ran off in the night and stole my idols on top of that!" Jacob says he was scared because he thought Laban would take his wives away by force. He also tell Laban to search his things because he didn't take any of Laban's stuff. In reality, Rachel did take Laban's idols but when Laban went to look for them she hid them very sneakily in a way we won't discuss here. Laban can't find his things and Jacob gets all self righteous and huffy at Laban and complains about how bad he was treated all these years. Laban makes up, tells his grandkids goodbye, and heads back home leaving Jacob alone.

I'm utterly confused by this. God has promised to be with Jacob and take care of him, and yet Jacob continues to be sneaky and dishonest. It's like he just really can't quite believe God can take care of these things and so he has to take things into his own hands. But God keeps His promise to Jacob and takes care of him still. How wonderful to have a God that always keeps His promise even when we don't always hold up our end of the bargain. How many time have I not completely trusted God yet He still follows through? Too many. Thank you Father for your faithfulness and steadfastness in upholding all you say.

Next time is part five, the final chapter and where I get to share the lesson that this whole thing was originally about and probably could been told in a paragraph instead of 5 blogs. Peace.

To my Readers Lurking in the Shadows . . .

I know you're there. I just wanted you to know I love and appreciate any and all comments on this blog. Whether it's input from something I wrote or simply an "I have read this post", it's nice to know that I'm not talking to thin air. I do that enough at home without the need to do in in cyberspace. Oh and I officially put the new Jacob post on my to-do list for tomorrow . . . or today. Peace.

Dad

Today marks five years since my dad passed away. I can't believe it's been that long. I can't specifically remember this day for each of those years. I do know that last year I was in the bushes of Mozambique and the day before had spoken to a family that had lost their father. I don't really have the words. But I found an article my former pastor had written after dad's death and I think he did a good job of expressing many things. So instead of rambling on and not making sense, I'll let you read what my friend Walter Albritton said about dad.

After many years in the ministry, I finally learned that the best answer to many questions is simply, “I don’t know.” The accidental death of my friend Joe Spano reminds me again that there are mysteries in life that no one can explain.
Joe was only 62, too young to leave us. Recently retired from the Vet School Faculty at Auburn University, Joe was ready to enjoy a few years without the pressure of his splendid work. He deserved the rewards of a lifetime of service to his students.
Now he is gone. Jane is suddenly a widow, the love of her life stolen from her by the Grim Reaper. The guidance of a gentle father has been robbed from three fine young men, Josh, James, and John.
Death sometimes invades our lives rudely, without warning. Events move so quickly. There is an accident on Saturday, a funeral on Tuesday. Grieving family members and friends are in shock, unable to comprehend why such a senseless thing had to happen.
Longtime friend and pastor Earl Ballard delivered the eulogy at the memorial service last Tuesday. He offered a touching and fitting tribute to Joe. It was not an easy assignment for Earl, but one he handled with typical excellence. The capacity crowd of friends reinforced Earl’s splendid affirmation of a good man’s life.
Wisely, Earl did not wrestle with the mystery of Joe’s sudden death. Despite our advanced knowledge of many things, the inscrutable remains. There are mysteries no man can explain. Many try. All fail.
In the face of such unfathomable questions, “Why?” may be the last query we should raise. We can ask, with greater profit, these questions:
What can we learn from this tragedy that will help us better to live until our own death?
What lesson is God trying to teach us in this experience?
Faced again with the brevity of life, are there changes in our priorities we should consider?
How can we respond to our friends in caring ways that alleviate their pain?
Should we not resolve with all our hearts to receive each new day as a gift of God’s love, and live each day to the fullest?
Since none of us knows what a day may bring forth, should we not give our time and energy to things that have eternal significance?
What may we learn from the example of a good man like Joe Spano?
Wrestling with any of these questions may give us insights that we can use to shape the balance of our own days. Struggling to answer “Why?” is like trying to draw water from a dry well.
Who was Joe Spano? He was a pathologist, a teacher at Auburn. That is true.
Joe, however, was so much more than a pathologist! Though I knew he worked in pathology, I did not know Joe as a pathologist.
To me, as one of his pastors, he was a Christian brother. As much as anyone I have known, he was a genuinely humble servant of God. His arena of service was the school in which he taught at Auburn University.
Quietly, without fanfare, he helped manage the financial aid fund for seminary students from Trinity. My own son, Matt, knew Joe’s name, for Joe had assisted Matt in his seminary work with both money and encouragement. Joe cared, and the seminary students knew it.
I learned from Earl’s eulogy that the students and faculty friends at Auburn had earlier honored Joe by purchasing and displaying a painting of “The Good Shepherd” at the Vet School. Beside it they placed a picture of Joe, with an inscription that honors Joe for his shepherding ministry at the school.
How appropriate! Those who worked with Joe, and who sat under his teaching, saw him for what he was – a dedicated, humble servant of God. He lived to make a difference in the lives of others.
Perhaps the best evidence that he succeeded is the obvious influence of his gentle spirit in the personalities of his three fine sons, Josh, James, and John. What a legacy in Christian character Joe left them!
Some time ago, I asked a local friend and veterinarian, Dr. Charles Bryson, if he knew Joe Spano. “Know him?” Joe responded, “Why, he was the finest Christian I met while I was at Auburn!”
Joe slipped away before I had a chance to thank him for what I learned from him. I was one of his students too. He taught me humility by his example.
I will miss him but I will never forget him.

New Member of the Family

Being stranded at home for almost a week due to vehicle problems, I developed the desire for a pet. I wanted a basset hound, but due to the fact I don't have my own place and the one I'm in wouldn't be the best for one, I opted for something else. This is Lucy:



Lucy is very quiet and requires less attention and cleanup than a dog or chinchilla. Baby steps with the pets I guess. I'll continue with the Jacob thing next time. Peace.

Part Three, with the Treachery (enough with the rhyming already)

Now I've fallen for my share of girls in my life, but Jacob had it BAD. He's on the run from his brother and finally makes it to the land where his Uncle, Laban is. Not knowing where to find his uncle, Jacob goes to the place where thousands of people throughout history have gone to get information. The water cooler. . . I mean well. There he finds out he's in the right spot. He asks the shepherds there if Laban's doing well, and they say, "He sure is, and here comes his daughter". I like the next few verses here.

9 Jacob was still talking with them when Rachel arrived with her father’s flock, for she was a shepherd. 10 And because Rachel was his cousin—the daughter of Laban, his mother’s brother—and because the sheep and goats belonged to his uncle Laban, Jacob went over to the well and moved the stone from its mouth and watered his uncle’s flock. 11 Then Jacob kissed Rachel, and he wept aloud. 12 He explained to Rachel that he was her cousin on her father’s side—the son of her aunt Rebekah. So Rachel quickly ran and told her father, Laban. (Gen. 29:9-12)

So here comes Rachel with the flock and you can almost here the music in the background. Jacob help water the flock, then kisses Rachel, starts weeping, and tells her who he is. Now, I can't tell you exactly what this looked like, but the romantic in me would like to think Jacob wept because Rachel was just that beautiful and amazing, and not just because he found his family. Laban welcomes Jacob. Now check this out.

13 As soon as Laban heard that his nephew Jacob had arrived, he ran out to meet him. He embraced and kissed him and brought him home. When Jacob had told him his story, 14 Laban exclaimed, “You really are my own flesh and blood!” (Gen. 29:13-14)


Jacob tell Laban the whole story and Laban says, "Man, you really are related to me!" More speculation here but it makes me wonder what Laban meant by that. Makes me think Laban had his fair share of schemes in his life. Also makes me wonder if this was the reason Rebekah sent Jacob to Laban, maybe she saw a little of her brother in Jacob.

As Jacob starts helping Laban, Laban does the right thing and tells Jacob he wants to pay him for his labor. Jacob knows what he wants, and it starts with an R. Laban had two daughters, Leah and Rachel. Leah was the older, but was not easy on the eyes. or had weak eyes. Or something about her eyes, we don't know. Traditionally in the culture at the time, the eldest daughter was to be married before the younger, but Jacob was in looooooove. So Jacob asks Laban if he can marry Rachel in return for seven years work. Laban agrees. And Jacob happily works away for seven years and doesn't mind one bit. Finally comes the time for the wedding.

21 Finally, the time came for him to marry her. “I have fulfilled my agreement,” Jacob said to Laban. “Now give me my wife so I can marry her.”

22 So Laban invited everyone in the neighborhood and prepared a wedding feast. 23 But that night, when it was dark, Laban took Leah to Jacob, and he slept with her. 24 (Laban had given Leah a servant, Zilpah, to be her maid.)

25 But when Jacob woke up in the morning—it was Leah! “What have you done to me?” Jacob raged at Laban. “I worked seven years for Rachel! Why have you tricked me?”

26 “It’s not our custom here to marry off a younger daughter ahead of the firstborn,” Laban replied. 27 “But wait until the bridal week is over, then we’ll give you Rachel, too—provided you promise to work another seven years for me.”

28 So Jacob agreed to work seven more years. A week after Jacob had married Leah, Laban gave him Rachel, too. 29 (Laban gave Rachel a servant, Bilhah, to be her maid.) 30 So Jacob slept with Rachel, too, and he loved her much more than Leah. He then stayed and worked for Laban the additional seven years. (Gen. 29:21-28)



I'm pretty astounded by this and pretty much the rest of the chapter. Laban pulls the old switcheroo and SOMEHOW manages to get Jacob through the whole wedding and wedding night before he realizes he's got the wrong girl (though I guess technically there is no mention of a wedding. Perhaps there was no official ceremony like there is now, just a celebration and the consummation made it official. And it WAS dark.). Jacob is understandably upset. After working seven years to get the wrong girl, who could blame him? Laban says something like "Well if you'll take a look at section B sub-paragraph H . . ." But tells him no worries, after the bridal week, he can Have Rachel, if Jacob works another seven years. Jacob agreed.
Two things here. One, it's clear that Jacob did not have to wait another seven years before getting Rachel, just a week. A lot of people make the wrong statement that Jacob worked another seven year then got Rachel. He actually got Rachel then worked another seven years. Still a big deal, but just clarifying. Two . . . I can't remember my second point.

So we see the sneaky McSneakerson profile is not just limited to Jacob within the family. Old Uncle Laban knows how to manipulate with the best of them.
But Jacob does get the girl. Finally. But being married to sisters can't be the best thing in the world, and we find out it's not. I'm not going to go into all the marital problems that go on, but Jacob gets caught in a sister feud where his manhood is traded for mandrakes and maidservants. Quite stressful.

Next time we'll look at Jacob as he leaves his Uncle and pulls yet another great scheme. Peace.

Part Two for You

Hey kids. So last time we left off Jacob had just pulled his second big scheme. Then after his mother Rebekah heard that Esau planned to kill him, she sent him away to her brother Laban. Interesting side note here is that Rebekah sent him that far away because she didn't want Jacob to marry a Hittite woman. Apparently Esau's wife was not the best daughter-in-law a mother could ask for. This just goes to show that momma's look out for their babies future. Isaac okayed the escape plan after seeing(metaphorically) that Esau meant serious business.
So Jacob is bee boppin' away to escape being killed. He stops for the night in one place and puts his head on a rock to sleep because apparently rocks are old school pillows. Then during the night, he had a dream. I'm going to let you read the actuall scripture here:

12 And he dreamed that there was a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven; and behold, the angels of God were ascending and descending on it! 13 And behold, the LORD stood above it and said, "I am the LORD, the God of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac; the land on which you lie I will give to you and to your descendants; 14 and your descendants shall be like the dust of the earth, and you shall spread abroad to the west and to the east and to the north and to the south; and by you and your descendants shall all the families of the earth bless themselves. 15 Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done that of which I have spoken to you." 16 Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, "Surely the LORD is in this place; and I did not know it." 17 And he was afraid, and said, "How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven." 18 So Jacob rose early in the morning, and he took the stone which he had put under his head and set it up for a pillar and poured oil on the top of it. 19 He called the name of that place Bethel; but the name of the city was Luz at the first. 20 Then Jacob made a vow, saying, "If God will be with me, and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat and clothing to wear, 21 so that I come again to my father's house in peace, then the LORD shall be my God, 22 and this stone, which I have set up for a pillar, shall be God's house; and of all that thou givest me I will give the tenth to thee." (Gen 28:12-22).


This is a pretty incredible dream where God promises to give Jacob all of these amazing things and to bless him wherever he goes. Jacob gets pretty excited about this when he wakes up and makes a pillar to God. Then he says an interesting thing. God has miraculously appeared to Jacob and promised him the land he is on and descendants and to bring him safely back. Jacob responds by basically saying, "God, if you stay with me and clothe me and feed me and bring me back, THEN you will be my God." I'm confused by this. Didn't God, the God of his grandfather Abraham and father Isaac, the God who always lived up to his promise and never failed, already say he would do these things for Jacob? It almost seems like Jacob is making provisions for his following God. Notice God never told Jacob if. If you do this, I'll do this. God just said He would do it, no obligation. Jacob is the one with the if's.
You ever tell God if? "God, if you let me pass this test, I promise I'll study harder next time." "God, if you get me this job, I promise to go to church every Sunday." I once heard that it's dangerous to tell God if, because He might actually take you up on it. And then what happens when you get that job? Do you really fulfill your side of the bargain? God always fulfills His side of the bargain. Always.

Next up is another great scheme, but this time it's Jacob who gets the raw end of the deal. Tune in next time for all the excitement. Peace.

Blessings for you

Before I launch into my subject, I'm making mention I'm back in the U.S. in Savannah, GA which is where I'll have my shop. Not Guatemala. Sorry for the confusion (Michelle).

Where was I? Oh yes, a sermon. From time to time I get little sermons, or words, that stick in my head and I realize I should share them. The last big one for me was when we were in Peru and I preached at the church there. This ones been in my head probably even longer than that but I just never got around to sharing it. Well, here, in the middle of the night when I can't sleep, I've decided to go ahead and get it out.
I'd like to share about blessings. Today we'll be looking in the scriptures at the story of Jacob. I'll cite a few scriptures direct, but mostly be paraphrasing so you go read the story when I'm done to get the whole scoop yourself.
Isaac had twin sons, Jacob and Esau. Esaus was the elder of the two. Now, the story goes that when Esau was born, as he was coming out, his younger brother was grabbing his ankle. This is how he got the name Jacob, which in the Hebrew means "He grasps the heel" (Gen, 24: 25-26). A modern day meaning for the name Jacob is "supplanter" Which means:

1. to take the place of (another), as through force, scheming, strategy, or the like. (dictionary.com)

We soon see this was an accurate name to give Jacob. Now Esau was a manly man and hunted and did stuff outdoors and if he we in modern times probably would have worn cammo and drove a big ole pickup truck. Jacob was a mamma's boy and probably would have been a computer nerd or book worm.

Now the whole supplanting started one day when Esau came home famished from a hunting trip and asked Jacob for some of the stew he was cooking. Jacob said he would give him the stew for Esau's birthright. Now, we don't have time to go into the birthright at this point but suffice it to say it was a big deal in their culture. The eldest son had far more rights and privileges than younger siblings. Esau must have been hungry in a bad way and ended up making the deal. We'll call this Jacob's first big scheme (Gen. 25: 29-34).
Fast forward to the end of Isaac's life. Isaac was an old dude and his eyes were pretty bad. As one of his last requests, he asked Esau to go hunting, kill something, and cook him up a hearty meal before he gave him is last blessing. Now this is where all those years of being a momma's boy worked for Jacob. Rebekah heard all of this and took on Jacob's scheming ways and got Jacob to go fetch a goat and then she'd make a goatburger and Jacob would pretend to be Esaus and get his blessing. The only problem was that the boys weren't exactly identical twins. Esau was all hairy and rough and Jacob used moisturizer and was was smooth and white from being inside all day. So Jacob dressed all up in Esau's clothes and put some goat skin on his arms and neck. He went in to Isaac and said "Here's your food, I'm ready for my blessing!" Isaac, while being old, was still somewhat suspicious. First off, the person he hears sounded like Jacob. He asked him once if it was Esau and Jacob said yes. Still not being convinced, he asked him to come nearer so he could use his sense of touch, and felt the hairiness of the goat skin that felt like Esau's arms and neck. He asked him one more time if he really was Esau, and Jacob said yes. As Jacob brought him closer, he smelled Esau's clothes and was finally convinced. He then proceeded to give him a wonderful blessing, placing him over his brothers and blessing all he does. Then Jacob leaves and in soap opera fashion, Esau walks in right after. He comes to Isaac and Says "I got the food and I'm ready for my blessing!" Isaac says, "who are you?" and Esaus says "It Esau, your first born". Then Isaac starts shaking all over because he knows somethings up. He says, "Who was that guy who was just in here? He's the one that got the blessing," Esau immediately knew it was Jacob and mentions how appropriate his name is as supplanter, taking through scheming. We'll call this Jacob's second big scheme (Gen 27: 1-36). Esau then starts making plans to kill Jacob as soon as Isaac dies. Once again, Rebekah does some sneaky eavesdropping and warns Jacob to flee, sending him to her brother Laban (Gen 27: 41-46).

I'm gonna stop here and pick up another time since this is getting pretty long. What we've seen so far is that Jacob through his scheming has gotten two blessings that don't belong to him. He's plotted and planned as a result gotten a birthright and an incredible father's blessing, and now he's running for his life because of it. Because of these blessings he worked so hard to get, he's found him separated from a mother than loves him and misses the death of his father. Tune in next time to see where all of this is heading. Peace.

Finding my way around the business world

Getting a business started reminds me of the song "Run Around" by Blues Traveler. I don't really know any of the words to the song but, "Ah, why you gotta give me the run around". Starting a business is kinda like that. You can't get a license without a location. You can't have a location that is zoned improperly. You can't find out what that means cause the zoning dude (who works in the same department as the licensing dude) doesn't answer his phone or return his calls. It's taken me three days to figure out the first step, which I can't really do anything about until Tuesday. Hopefully.
All that being said, I have looked at a couple of spots and will continue to do that for the next couple of days. Fa la la la la, la la la la. Peace.

Remembering

Friends

laughter

my 60 year old Antiguan girlfriend

my friend who let me make coffee at & cafe

The race

the fun

the frustration

the throwing up

the tortillas

It´s been interesting being back here in Antigua. There are good memories that make me miss my friends.

Was That You, Jesus?

Something that has hit me big since traveling around the world has been the poor. I don't mean the person with cable T.V. and a Lexus who is struggling to pay the rent. I mean the barefoot, toothless, homeless who have despair in their eyes. I don't know what to do when they come up and ask for help. When we were in Cambodia, we were told not to give the beggars anything because help was available but as long as people kept giving hand outs they wouldn't take it. It tore me apart inside to see a woman holding her baby and begging for anything.
At what point am I being scammed and at what point does it matter? Am I turning away a beggar or will I be the person whom Jesus says, "I was hungry and you did not feed me."?

Was that you, Jesus? Was that you with the wrinkled face and withered hands? Was that you imploring me to help, to care?

Jesus said that He would always be with us. He said the same thing about the poor. I wonder if it isn't a coincidence.

Now Why is it You're Doing Coffee?

I'm glad you asked. A few years ago, some missionaries I knew moved back to the states to my town and opened a coffee shop. My friend started working for them and that was where I found out what good coffee tasted like. Somewhere during that time I had a little thought in my head pop up for opening my own shop, though it was just a thought.
Well the Toomers (owners of the coffee shop) decided to move to a bigger location after about a year and I volunteered to work for them. Thus was my entry into the world of coffee. I learned about making drinks, beans, and all that good stuff. I was so into it, what I couldn't learn at work I went online and found out. The more I learned the more I loved it. All this time the little tickle of an idea was still in the back of my head.
It was during this time I found the joys of meeting and having mini relationships with customers. While there were many people that just went in and out of the shop, there were more that made it there regular habit. And when they came, I was there to say hi and ask them about school and how their day was. Some people shared and shared. Some said maybe one little thing at a time then after a while would open up. It was amazing to see how much you mean to people simply by being the one consistent pleasentness in their day. All you have to do is be you and care.
Well last year I went on the World Race and traveled all over the place. I got to see people from different cultures and backgrounds and I got to drink lots of different coffee and I got to share life. It wasn't all pretty, but it was real. So I was in Mozambique waiting for the goat that was rounded up for us to be slaughtered and prepared and I thought "Hey, I have some time on my hands, why don't I mess around with this little coffee idea that's been tickling the back of my head for a while?" So I did. Then I made more notes. Then I thought about the idea some more. Then I looked at what I needed to do to get started. Then I contacted some people. Then Candice helped me put together an official coffee notebook to write things in. Then I heard back from some people. Then I talked to some more people about it. Then . . . well you get the idea. Little by little all of this started to form. And now, here I am in Guatemala learning how to roast coffee and own and operate a shop. I don't know how my place will start out in terms of size or offerings, but it will start out by caring for people.
So to answer your question. I'm doing coffee so that I can love on people and share the love of Jesus with them in whatever form they need it. And to give them good coffee. And because I like coffee.
That's all for now. Peace.

I'm kinda on a roll . . .

Like butter. Today marks my 26th year without a Valentine. And I'm perfectly okay with it. If I needed an excuse, I would say that I don't have a Valentine because I'm out of the country. That's a good reason, right? Not to say I didn't get any valentine gifts. I got two. Lungi (11) gave me a beautiful hand-crafted Valentine complete with chocolate. Kashia (14) gave me a neato airplane with chocolate covered somethings on it. I made them Chinese paper cut with hearts on them.
Already into week two of apprenticing. Still exciting, still exhausting. I'll get up at 5:30 tomorrow because we're French Roasting and that makes a lot of smoke that's not allowed on the street during the day. Sunday and Monday we'll be going to visit fincas(farms) and find some good beans to buy. Had some tummy rumbly trouble the past few days, but I remember the same thing from last year (visual picture of me walking down the side of the road then doubling over to throw up).
So that's all for now. Mike has a great sense for relationship and I'm learning a lot from him about that. Talk to you later. Peace.

My New Home

So I finally made it down here to Guatemala. I flew in Monday and started learning yesterday. It's been two very long but rewarding days. I am learning a ton of information and I've only started. He's making this all seem feasable and doable and fun. All I have to do now is pick a location. Any suggestions?
I found myself a little apartment. here's some pictures of it below. I'll try to start taking more pics in the next few days.

Okay, so posting pictures was taking too long and I'm ready to go to bed. I'll to it later. Peace.

Late Night Lessons Part II

So my new nightly habit of late is to stay up till a reasonable hour to go to sleep, then get in my bed and watch T.V. on my ipod till I get bored and realize I'm not tired at all and then come downstairs and sit on the computer. It's not like I have a busy schedule, so if I go to bed at three and wake up at twelve that's still nine hours of sleep. Not too much and not too little.
I just sat here for ten minutes trying to relay something insightful and wise after I wrote that last paragraph. Comin' up with nothing. I think I'm a very intelligent person and have great wit and also have been blessed with occasional wisdom, but I don't have control over any of it. I just comes when it wants to. It's like a wild stallion, you try to fence it in and it'll jump the fence. In practical terms that looks like me making a fool of myself. So I guess that means I should just relax and let come what comes and not worry so much about making happen, just let it happen. This seems to be a theme in a few of my past blogs . . . hmmm . . . moment of insight? Yes! Ladies and gentlemen you have just witnessed what I was talking about first hand. I come up with nothing great to say, then I start talking about how I can't force it and shouldn't and all of a sudden when I'm not paying attention, wham! Insight.
The insight (if you didn't follow that line of James Joycean thought so well (I like that I just referenced James Joyce, and that I'm putting parentheses inside parentheses)) is that instead of being a doer I should do a be-er (I wasn't going to put a hyphen there but then it would have spelled beer, like the alcoholic beverage). That is, I should just let my natural amazingness just come out naturally instead of forcefully. After all, all the good stuff comes from God, He just shoots it through me. If I try to meddle with it, it's not as cool. All that and I'm a stallion . . .or is God the stallion? Kind of like Aslan, in a way that probably only makes sense to me. And that ladies and gentlemen, is stream of consciousness. Peace.

Oh, and if it doesn't really seem like a theme in my past few blogs, it does in my head. Peace again.

Late Night Lessons

It's been hard being back from the World Race. I came back knowing I wouldn't be home long and didn't want to put the effort into being here, so I lived in the past (the Race) and the future (seeing my race friends and coffee world to come). Bad move. When you're in a (relatively) bad mood, you only thing of bad things. So all I could think of was all the stupid comments, decisions, indecisions, and actions of the past I was dwelling in, and it was a little more than I could handle.
So I put those things death, made ammends where needed, and moved on. It feels good. Since coming out of my self-imposed exile I've reflected more on my trip and found a surprising number of things. One of those is that during many (though not all) of the times on my trip when I was having the most difficulty, struggling the most with my sinful man and hurting the most . . . were times I was being the most effective. This goes back to my blog here on Joy:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish it's work so that you may be mature, and complete, not lacking anything."

James 1:2-4

It doesn't say here how long it takes to develop perseverance. And after that perseverance has to finish it's work before you're complete. I think that the World Race and the reflections of it that followed developed perseverance in me or at least has got it on the developing path. My faith was tested a lot. Sometimes I failed and sometimes I succeeded and I think it takes both for the perseverance thing to kick in.

So now all I have to do is let perseverance finish it's work. No problem right? Ehehehehe. Anyway. That's my late night reflection. That, and that caffeine at night does indeeed succeed in keeping one awake. Peace.

It Goes On and On . . .

On my last leg of my trip around the U.S. visiting friends. I had a wonderful time visiting my family in Denver. I also had a cool time at a coffee shop called Novo Coffee in Arvada. If you're in the area, check it out. They're very friendly and really know what their doing.
Right now I'm in New Mexico visiting Ginger, Eric, Morgan, Emilie, and Stacy. We rode 4 wheelers and shot guns this morning, made me feel like home.
Speaking of home, I'm a little upset that I've been in like 5 states that snow all the time and have only seen it once in the past two weeks, and then find out it snowed at home. It only snows like once every 5 years at home and I missed it. Oh well.
So I booked my flight to Guatemala. I'll be out of here Feb. 4th to start my next adventure. So if you're in the Lake Atitlan area, stop by for a visit. I'll be at Crossroads coffee in Panajachel.
I'm also in a better mood than I was in my last blog. I mean, I'm pretty much still in the same place, but I feel a little better about it now. It's a day by day thing for me, which can be hard, but I think it's getting better. Peace.

On the Move

I'm sitting in the Seattle Tacoma airport waiting for my flight to Denver and musing about the past two weeks. My long anticipated reunion trip is over halfway done.
Emilie came down for a day to visit my home and I drove back up with her to visit hers. After a few days hanging out in the birthplace of the Republican party (Jackson, MI apparently) and hearing about a real life super hero, and visiting Ryan, Em and I flew over to visit Candice in Tacoma. We went all over the place (Seattle, Tacoma, Portland), drank a lot of coffee (Sattelite, Forza, Mandolin cafe, Lava Java, Espresso Vivace, Peet's, etc.), caught up with more friends (Jon, Stacy, Kari) and had a blast.
Today I fly out to Denver to visit My Grandma, Aunt, Uncle, and cousins. Like I mentioned before I'm really excited about seeing them since I haven't visited since before Dad died.
After a few days there I'm off to New Mexico to visit a few more friends before heading back home and getting ready for my next step. The next step is Guatemala! After many emails and getting things set up, I finally know that I'm heading down the 4rth of February (like 2 weeks!). I'll be there a month cramming as much information about coffee into my head as I can.
I'm really excited about this, but really nervous too. After spending time with some awesome coffee people at Counter Culture Coffee, I'm wondering whether starting a shop is something I want to do very soon. There is so much to learn in the coffee business and so many aspects of it it's kind of overwhelming. So while a shop is still in mind and a goal in the future, I'm considering working for a shop or company when I get done with my internship to get more experience and meet more people. I'm really excited about how relational coffee is. If you make the effort, you can meet great people and big names really easy and they're all willing to help and are excited for you.
I'm also nervous about going to Guatemala because I'll be away from home again. And this time without my Race buddies. It was so good to see all my friends from the race doing so well being back and getting things started and moving on in life, but it's been hard for me. I mean, I've got a plan and this are on it's way, but I didn't have a smooth transition to being home. I didn't want to talk to people, but I didn't want to be alone. I wanted to be home, but I felt out of place. It's been very emotional for me. When you're gone for a year, things don't go on hold and wait for you to come back, they just keep moving. Friends move and marry and have kids and get engaged. In some ways it was like I never left, but in some ways it's all so different and not me. In a sense going to Guatemala is like going into isolation. Away from all my comforts. I'll probably be living by myself, and while I'll be working with the Roberts every day, they're their own family with their own thing and I'll only be there for a season.
I'm lonely, and it hurts, and I don't know what the answer is to fix it. God has shown me so many times lessons through hurt, but at some point it just seems mean. I know there's a plan, but it's so hard sometimes.
But these things pass. God is good, and He will take care of me.

Happy New Year!

So it's a brand new year with brand new things to accomplish. First thing on the to do list: visit all my friends from the Race. Well, as many as I can. Emilie is visiting on Saturday (woohoo!) and then I'm hitching a ride up to her place in Michigan. After a few days there we'll fly over to the west coast to Tacoma and catch up with Candice, Jenny, Stacy, Jon, and whoever else is near. Then Em will fly down to San Diego to visit Morgan while I fly to Denver to visit my Aunt, Uncle, cousins, and grandma.
I'm really excited about visiting family. I haven't seen them since Dad died. I just haven't had a chance to get out there. But now I do, and I'm so glad I'm getting a chance to visit Mima (my grandma).
After the visit with the fam I then fly down to New Mexico to meet up with more friends. Em and Morgan will drive over from San Diego and we'll meet up with Ginger, Eric, and who knows who else. How exciting is all that!!!

I'll get to see most of my team. All of these:



And maybe Andrew too:



Annie's still in Thailand, but she'll be in our hearts:



And of course in between and throughout all of this we will be soaking ourselves in coffee! I'm excited about all the good coffee I'll get to try in the Northwest. I'll keep you posted on what I find.


After all that I hope to be going down to Guatemala sometime this Spring to do an internship. More on that when it all actually works out. Peace.