Sunday, August 17, 2014

Quotes from Allegiant

Just finished reading Allegiant... and it's like one of the few times where the book captivates you.. and it intrigues the mind and if i have the time, i would have sit back and ponder on all the different themes it touches on - about sacrifices, about the different social standing that is prevalent in our everyday life, about love, family, friends. Even though the reviews wasn't that good for this book, but i feel that it is definitely a much better series than Hunger Games, which also revolve about the same theme of social experiments. Now i can't wait to read finish the Maze Runner series (revolves abt the same theme as well) to see if the rest of the books are as good as the first.

But the main purpose of this post is to jot down the many quotes from Allegiant. First time reading a book and i have to urge to jot down what i am reading every few pages.. here goes:

“There are so many ways to be brave in this world. Sometimes bravery involves laying down your life for something bigger than yourself, or for someone else. Sometimes it involves giving up everything you have ever known, or everyone you have ever loved, for the sake of something greater.
But sometimes it doesn't.
Sometimes it is nothing more than gritting your teeth through pain, and the work of every day, the slow walk toward a better life. 
That is the sort of bravery I must have now.” ― Veronica RothAllegiant 


“I fell in love with him. But I don't just stay with him by default as if there's no one else available to me. I stay with him because I choose to, every day that I wake up, every day that we fight or lie to each other or disappoint each other. I choose him over and over again, and he chooses me.” ― Veronica RothAllegiant


“Knowledge is power. Power to do evil...or power to do good. Power itself is not evil. So knowledge itself is not evil.” ― Veronica RothAllegiant


“You don’t believe things because they make your life better, you believe them because they’re true.” ― Veronica RothAllegiant


“Life damages us, every one. We can’t escape that damage. But now, I am also learning this: We can be mended. We mend each other.” ― Veronica RothAllegiant 


“I belong to the people I love, and they belong to me--they, and the love and loyaty I give them, form my identity far more than any word or group ever could.”― Veronica RothAllegiant


“She taught me all about real sacrifice. That it should be done from love... That it should be done from necessity, not without exhausting all other options. That it should be done for people who need your strength because they don't have enough of their own.” ― Veronica RothAllegiant


“Yeah, sometimes life really sucks," she says. "But you know what I'm holding on for?"
I raise my eyebrows.
She raises hers, too, mimicking me.
"The moments that don't suck," she says. "The trick is to notice them when they come around.” ― Veronica RothAllegiant

“The first step to loving someone else is to recognize the evil in ourselves, so we can forgive them.” ― Veronica RothAllegiant

“Take a person’s memories, and you change who they are.” ― Veronica RothAllegiant


“There is a difference between admitting and confessing. Admitting involves softening, making excuses for things that cannot be excused; confessing just names the crimes at its full severity.” ― Veronica RothAllegiant


“If we stay together, I'll have to forgive you over and over again, and if you're still in this, you'll have to forgive me over and over again too. So forgiveness isn't the point. What I really should have been trying to figure out is whether we were still good for each other or not” ― Veronica RothAllegiant


“I keep finding myself stifled by the company of others and then crippled by loneliness when I leave them. I am terrified and I don't even know of what, because I have lost everything already.” ― Veronica RothAllegiant


It's strange how time can make a place shrink, make its strangeness ordinary. ― Veronica RothAllegiant

“Take away someone’s fear, or low intelligence, or dishonesty . . . and you take away their compassion. Take away someone’s aggression and you take away their motivation, or their ability to assert themselves. Take away their selfishness and you take away their sense of self-preservation.” ― Veronica RothAllegiant


“To me, when someone wrongs you, you both share the burden of that wrongdoing—the pain of it weighs on both of you. Forgiveness, then, means choosing to bear the full weight all by yourself.” ― Veronica RothAllegiant

Friday, January 31, 2014

2013 - sweet ending! :)

2013 in a post..

Time to summarize all the happenings in 2013 before the end of Jan 2014!
In short, 2013 ended on a super duper sweet note! :D

~-~

First half of 2013 was quite uneventful. Cannot remember anything exciting happening... Wasn't allowed to go on long leave (aka. overseas) by boss due to the project schedule, which didn't went ahead as planned. So i missed the trip to Scandinavia with my parents. :( Most of my time was spent at work, and preparing for the project that never commenced as planned.

But second half of 2013 is a completely different scenario! :D

First up...

Travels!
My leave curfew got lifted & its time to travel, travel, travel & travel! (visited 4 countries within 6 months. :p)
Seo just likes to travel! :D

First up was Bangkok in June with Jasmine!
Finally going there for a shopping spree, and having the chance to roam the streets of Bangkok! Ages ago since i went Bangkok with my parents.
Didn't get to really enjoy the street food at Bangkok cause Jasmine was a small eater. Either i'll be left hungry or too full after a meal >_<
But nevertheless, it was still my first getaway in 2013! Away from all the work and stress :)

I miss the yummy tom yam soup we found!! super shiok! the stall even has its own facebook account!


Then it was time to head back to Hong Kong in August! (yesh... again :p) But this time i am travelling with Lay Ling! Finally got to travel with her! 买东西, 吃东西!买东西, 吃东西!
Happy time travelling with LL! Managed to find most of the food we wanted to eat, and places we wanted to visit! Lots of shopping done! Hope we can travel together again!! :)))



And managed to meet up with Rita & Jacqueline too! :) & again brought Rita to places she haven't visit in Hong Kong :p We went in search of 姻缘石! (requested by LL :p) Off to some hiking before finding the rock!

 Really enjoyable trip in Hong Kong cause me and Lay Ling complement each other travelling style & common interests too!


2 months break.. before its time to visit New Zealand with my parents! As age is catching up on my dad, they decided to join tour rather than self-drive. So it's a trip to the southern island of New Zealand! First time stepping into NZ!
I always treasure the trips i have with my parents. Though i will always get comments from fellow tour mates asking if i am still schooling / waiting for my results, and that they will have the 'why are you still travelling with your parents' kind of look when they know my actual age (back of their mind thinking if my trips are still sponsored by my parents.. which is NO..), I still hope we will have many more trips together as my parents are getting older every year and trips will allow me to spend more time with them!

The landscape in New Zealand is too beautiful to describe! Too bad we are on a tour and cannot stop over long at each destination. Some photos of our trip...



But my favorite photo is still the one below taken at Mirror Lake! Stunning beautiful!
The water has to be super clear to witness such a sight! We went past the lake in the afternoon and the reflection can no longer be seen.. Lucky us!



And then the final trip of the year, spanning across to 2014, is Korea!
The trip was meant to be me and Jee spending white Christmas overseas. But eventually the trip was opened to fellow Simpletons and total of 7 of us travelled to Korea! :) First time spending Xmas & New Year aboard. Also the first time doing such intensive planning for the almost the entire trip (excl Ski & Busan). Finally understood how difficult it is for my dad to plan our family trips in the past..

Though it was tiring at times, but there was also fun and laughter mainly provided by the 92s..
Lucky it snowed for half a day while we were there so that the rest could see snow for the first time in their life. And i am glad they had an enjoyable trip! :) Miss the street food!!

Guilty to be travelling so much within 6 mths! :p Next up...


Dance!
Continuing my k hip hop & mv classes at CJ in 2013, but this year also gave us opportunities to perform at different venues.

First up was Dansu Dansu 2013 held at CJ in July. Simpletons split into 2 groups and it was my first attempt doing song mix! Quite a challenge and for days i was fiddling with the song mix on my ipad. First cut was shot down by the instructors at CJ, but i am glad we managed to pull through and i am happy with our performance!

I also decided to take part in the instructor's dance (Xiao Jo's item), and it was quite a challenge at first. Totally not use to dancing girls hip hop! But slowly got used to the steps and even though there was a little hiccup midway through the dance, but nevertheless, another milestone accomplished!


And finally a Simpletons groupshot for all those present! Long time since there was almost full strength since concert days! Really glad to still be in contact with these fun loving peeps!


There was then the performance at Annyeong Seoul event at Bukit Panjang Plaza where there was filming by a korea broadcasting company, and within the span of 1 week, we did the same performance at Commonwealth :) Could have done better with facial expressions, but it was still a memorial experience! Dancing on 'bouncy' stage! :p


Korean!
Guilty to say, i've only made very slight improvement in this area this year. I did continue taking basic korean 2 lessons at CC, but still not able to hear/speak fluetly. :( So let's see what progress i can make in 2014! :p

And lastly,

感情!

Truthfully in 2013, it was the first time in 26 years that guys will come striking a conversation with me, and also asking me out for meals. But sadly, i wasn't interested in them for various reasons.. diff. frequency, diff interest, not comfortable with them...

And while i was still keeping my options open, looking for 'potentials', even contemplating to go for SDN events, i was clueless to the actions of a person close to me. :p While it was obvious to everyone who know us, i was just happily leading my life and really unaware of the little things that was done, unaware that there is someone out there who is looking out for me. Guess seo is just oblivious to such things (or rather i didn't want to give myself false hopes :p)

I glad i accepted your dinner invite on a random night in August which 'started' everything.. though i was still 木头seo.. :p
I am glad you persisted and things started being obvious to me.
I am glad you came into my life and i agreed to take that first step with you that night!

In Oct 2013, seo 告别了单生的生活! 我不再是一个人了! 谢谢你在我旁边照顾我, 那么疼我。。那么爱我! 我很幸福 Dear Dear !  爱你!Looking forward to more happy times together in 2014.. creating more sweet memories together :)



(I guess its time to go back to Hong Kong again sometime soon to pay another visit to 姻缘石.. :p better to be safe than sorry! & i hope Lay Ling finds her true love soon! :p )

~ - ~
Was reading all my previous posts before writing this, and its funny how i don't remember writing certain posts, and how it refreshes my memory of what i was feeling/experiencing at that point in time.
Maybe i should do more than blogging one post per year! :p

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Pent up feelings..

I just want to shout it out loud! >_<

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

2012 in a post...

And like that, 2012 went by and we are on the first day of the 2013 (which has ended by the time i finish this post).

For me, 2012 was a good and bad year, esp during the middle of the year :( Was just reading the post i did in 2011, and i realised out of dance, korean & piano, i am only really pursuing dance at the moment :x though Korean language is still done once in a while and i am still not competent in the language! :(

Anyways, with my broken Korean, my parents and I went to Korea in April! It was our 2nd visit to Korea & it was free and easy this time round. We got to really walk the streets of Seoul & even went hiking! :D First time seeing rows and rows of cherry blossoms too! Really like Korea and i hope to be able to go back there in 2013? :p Be able to travel to more outskirt areas and get to immerse in their culture & eat lots of their food! (not forgetting shopping!) *Something which i doubt will be fulfilled this year..*

The following months after was just work, and just as i thought everything was smooth sailing and i could take a breather, life just have to give me a wake up call. It's like a reminder that as always, nothing is easy for me in life and i have to work/strive for it, and even so, nothing is within my control. (long story coming up...)

Sometime in July (actually 15th July to be exact), there was signs that my lower left gums was starting to swell. It was just feeling slightly sore towards the end of my trip to the Garden Festival at Suntec, but by the next day (Monday), i could barely eat. My lower left gums were really swollen and trying to eat was torturous. It wld cause me throbbing headache. I thought it would just go away, but by Tuesday, my right lower gums started to feel swollen. Decided to visit the dentist (Q&M) during lunch time, and it was then that they discovered some abnormality in my jaw after doing X-rays and CT scans. The gum swelling was just not normal, but to make matters worse, they found that my left jaw is twice the size of my right jaw. The assistant mentioned it could be due to my previous wisdom tooth extraction? I was given anti-biotics and an appt was made to see an oral surgeon on Thursday. Totally felt at lost at that point of time as the dentist mentioned the possibility of teeth extractions / jaw procedures etc due to the 'growth' in my jaw, and i broke down once i came out of the room.

Wednesday - I visited my own dentist to get his 2nd opinion, and if he had other recommendations. Also wanted to see if he had my previous X-rays to determine when my jaw started growing. He didn't have any and in any case his x-rays were useless due to its small size. My dentist just completely ignored my swelling gums and did cleaning of my teeth -_-'' *Pain* Other than that, not much help from him

Thursday - Maybe the cleaning did helped, and coupled with the antibiotics, my gum wasn't as painful on Thursday, but still swelling. After work, i went down with my parents to see the oral surgeon at Q&M. It wasn't good news as she wanted a procedure to be done asap to determine if the growth was cancerous or not. There's was a possibility it was a cyst, a fibro-osseous lesion, or something else which i forgot :x It it was cyst, it had to be removed immediately. >_< But first they had to do a biopsy. I was feeling super stressed at that time, because my project was at it's peak stage, my manpower stuff was due, i had my dance rehearsals for concert (more later). I couldn't afford to be MIA for 1 wk (given the recent precedence at work)! I was also just told of all the diff possibilities that could happen and was on the verge of breaking down. I was still so young! Anw, i decided to proceed with the biopsy asap (like THE NEXT DAY!! T_T) I went back to office to try and wrap up my work so that i can hand over to my covering officer the next day. Also broke the news to my boss that i had to be away for 1 wk (and i am ashamed i couldn't keep back my tears at that time. :x)

Friday - Firstly, I had to go to Outram polyclinic at 8am to get a recommendation letter so that i can get subsidised rates for all the procedures. Then I rush back to office to inform my supervisor and hand over all my work. The procedure was supposed to be done in the afternoon and i only had to 'report' to NDC after lunch. But due to the lack of operating theatre, my procedure was pushed forward, i didn't even have time to clear my work! Just had to let my supervisor clear my estimate with my boss, and rushed down to NDC. Did another round of CT scan and i was sent off to have an early lunch else i won't be able to eat for the rest of the day. By the time my procedure was to commence, it was already 2pm and luckily my mum managed to rushed down in time to accompany me. The next part is not for the faint hearted.. when i meant procedure, it was actually a minor operation. First time lying in an operation theatre, and with only localised anesthetic. T_T Which means i was aware of the entire procedure! My eyes were covered like what you see in shows, with the radio on in the background, but i am totally aware of the surgeon cutting open my gums, drilling a hole into my jaw, chiselling at my jaw bone to get out samples. T_T My body was totally tensed for the 1hr procedure, hands involuntarily shaking at times, but i am very grateful for the nurse who was holding my hands for the 1 hr. Didn't get to really thank her for providing me such support, and  I am very sorry for squeezing her hands so tightly. During the operation, from the conversation of the surgeons i knew it was not cyst *phew*. And once the surgeons got their samples, it was just stitching up. Got to rest a while, and then i was allowed to go home with a bleeding stitched gum, and a 5 days MC.

Couldn't eat or talk properly for the next few days due to the stitches and a really really swollen left face. (side effects of the operation) Swelling took more than a wk to subside, and so i returned to work with a slightly swollen face the following wed. I remembered even after 5 days MC, i still cannot laugh or open my mouth too widely without feeling the tightness of the stitches. Got the biopsy results abt a wk later, and it was fibro-osseous lesion / ossifying fibroma (i think it meant the same. Basically it just that my bone is no longer bone mass. It has become something like tissues and it is growing). Nothing i can do to stop its growth and nothing life threatening unless it keeps growing and pushing against my jaw nerve. If so, my appearance will change (left side of the face becomes bigger) and i will start to feel numbness/pain in my left jaw. By then, i will have to do the major op to remove my left jaw so that can 斩草除根. T_T I am still young and i don't want that to happen!! But this is the only remedy. Initially they proposed that it was possible to do a clean out of the stuff in my jaw, but that wld also have the possibility of affecting my jaw nerve and then i will feel long-term numbness on my left side, and the bone may still continue to grow after that. So this was thrown out of the window.

Anw since then, i had a review in Dec. Nothing abnormal for now, and the next review will be in 6 mths time. Hopefully, and i pray hard, that everything will remain status quo. For now, i only can monitor. I still don't know when my jaw actually started growing. Been looking through all my past photos, and i only can say it was between JC - Uni years? Maybe i shld start taking monthly passport photos of myself to monitor... You can see my enlarged left jaw below. >_<


In the midst of the crazy 1 wk (from knowing abt my jaw till the op), i was also preparing for my dance recital. Just put in my name for it and went for 1 round of rehearsals, and my jaw problem came up. >_< I confessed i am guilty of not properly resting after my op and going down for rehearsals with my swollen left face. Looking at the videos recorded, i don't know how i had the guts to even step out of the hse with my face in that situation. But everyone thought i had wisdom tooth extraction (if only it was so simple.. and wisdom tooth extraction will not lead to swollen face!), and the instructors let me mark steps. Even so, it was not easy and tiring to my jaw.

That was the hiccup in 2012, from there it can only get better. :) I was excited to be able to go up on stage again to perform. The last time i was up on stage, i was in primary school! I decided to perform in 3 items (max allowed per student) - Sherlock, Mr Simple & Basic Class item. Crazy rehearsals schedule which burnt all my wkends, and some wkday nights. But it was totally worth it!! *Happy that Evy lao shi said that i have improved! :p* Now i have to work on my facial expressions!

The best thing gained out of this concert is that i met some awesome peeps! Mr Simple was the only item of the whole concert where none of the crew members were in it and i guess that allowed us to bond together. We are now called the Simpletons (we are not dumb if u know what i mean), and i am really glad to know these group of friends in 2012! It's really amazing that we have all come together because of our passion for dance and of cos the love for Super Junior. No words can explain how happy i am to know them, seeing them every Sat just makes my day. Going out for meals together, preparing for performances, supporting one another in everything we do. :D Really looking forward to our Simpleton Show 3!




The next highlight of 2012 wld then have to be the trip to Turkey with Hui Fang, Wei Chen & Xiao Qian! :D Woohoo!! We finally got to visit Turkey after it was thrown out as a grad trip destination! As always, i love the breathtaking views and natural landscape! :D As well as the cultural/historical portion of Turkey (though for that i prefer Egypt :x) The demographics of the tour groups made the whole trip much more fun, being that there were so many young folks. Xiao Qian was my buddy throughout the whole trip and am really glad we complement each other so well! :D Awesome travelling buddy and hope we can travel together again soon!

I guess that sums up 2012. Through all these, i learnt to treasure my health more. I can tell that my body has suffered a lot since i started work. For 23 years of my life, i hardly fall sick. But i have been falling sick at least once every year since i started work. I don't feel as healthy as before, and my immune system is not as strong. (Maybe because i am getting older too?) Sometimes i feel that i have 辜负 my mum who had ensured i have a strong and healthy body since young. Within 2 years, i have let everything she had done since i was young gone wasted :( Now with my jaw, i have to be healthy! I must! I also finally 领悟 that at work, urgent things can also wait. Health is still more impt. Enjoy and treasure the moment!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Emo..

feeling emo again due to my jaw & all the endless meaningless stuff at work. :(
how i wish my wkend could just continue on forever and ever.. *Dance!.. Hey!.. Naughty naughty.. What music would you listen to... Shinee's backz!.. Oh I'm curious yeah!.."

Burrowing into my own hole again..

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Dancing~

I hope I don't get sick of dancing after all these rehearsals :x *1 and 2 and 3 and 4... 5 6 7 8...*

Monday, June 18, 2012

Thirst for Knowledge

Even though i am already living a very enriching life: body, mind & soul all taken care off :D, i still feel it is insufficient! Again i have to urge to gobble up all kinds of information i can get my hands on - literature, arts, philosophy, construction related, language, self-improvement, sociology and many more!! If only i can go on a shopping spree at Kino! Been thinking about it the last few days! I am so tempted to use part of my flexi benefits to go on a book shopping spree. Buy all the books in my reading list! BUT.. i am restraining myself, because i would never have the time to finish reading all the books even if i buy them. And i still have a couple of books to read at home! :p Can i just read & read & read all day long? Someone please quench my thirst!

Indeed:
"The desire of knowledge, like the thirst of riches, increases ever with the acquisition of it."
-Laurence Sterne-

So true... at least for me.. :)