Thanksgiving

Well I am a horrible parent, I didn't take any pictures of Kate on Thanksgiving. We forgot the camera. So instead you get a picture we took of her last weekend in Vernal.


The last month has been a little hectic. Kate is "talking" all the time. It is so funny, and I love to listen to her. Her personality is coming out more and more each day. She is usually a happy baby. When is is being super fussy it is usually because she is teething. No teeth yet but she is close.
Kate loves paper because it makes noises. She just hasn't figured out why mom and dad takes it way from her though.

Thanksgiving was nice, I am grateful to my MIL for cooking dinner. I love getting together with family.

Last weekend we had to go to Vernal. We had to go to Grandma's Oaks' funeral. I have a hard time with funerals. It doesn't matter if the person was close to me or not. I understand that for almost everyone that when a life is lost, there is a void created. Some one has just lost a mother/father, daughter/son, sister/brother, friend. Everyone means something to somebody.

Kate has also figured out that her reach is much longer then it use to be. See this is her "helping" Kraig.


I also got about a third of my Christmas shopping done, and everyone that is done is a little kid...I have no idea what to do for adults for Christmas this year. Kids are so much easier!!

So we are still here, and things are still crazy.

6 months

Well since Kate turned 6 months old on Friday, you all get to see pictures of her in Halloween costume!!






I couldn't resist putting her stick her bottom lip out!

She is 17 lbs 3 oz, she is also 26.75 inches. So she is very tall.
She also now loves baths, she figured out that she can play in the water. Plus now she has toys in her bath with her.
She can't quite sit on her own yet. She can roll over.
She is so funny to watch her try and figure things out. Like her hands, she will stare at them and watch them, and make them move. It is so cute.
She also loves her rice cereal now, and she like green beans, and sweet potatoes. She does not like peaches, bananas, or peas. She will not eat them!
She is to the stage where she tries grab everything, and stick it in her mouth. Including other peoples fingers!

The happenings of the last few weeks

The second Friday in September, I had been trying so hard to leave work on time, and get home to pick up Kate. While I was trying to get home, I got hit on the freeway. All things considered it could have been much worse. Here are a couple of pictures of my car.


The green van is the car that hit me, and as you will notice, we are not on the freeway. The lady tried to run, I followed her.

Kate had her first stomach bug a couple of weeks ago, and I ended up taking her to see her doctor. She was having a hard time eating, and I didn't know if it was because we switched her formula (due to the Similac recall), or because she was sick. In the last month she gained 2 pounds!!! She has almost grown out of her 6 month close already. I keep hoping that she will make it until her 6 month birthday until I have to put her into her 9 month clothes, that is only in three weeks!! Kraig and I both ended up getting whatever stomach bug Kate got. Schools back in!

We also took Kate on her first trip to Vernal to visit two of her Great Grandma's. One isn't doing very well, and has never seen Kate before. Here are a few pictures from that trip. The pictures were taken by Kraig.






Kate's new thing is to grab her own feet, it is kind of funny.

Thoughts

This is probably going to be one of those blogs that nobody responds to. In all honesty, I am fine with that. I just want to throw it out there for the black void of the internet.
Lately I have wanted to write. I just don't know what. I use to write poetry, but I haven't had to for a long time. By the way, very few people have read most of my poetry, and there are even fewer that have access to it.
Writing on here helps, but I don't think it is what I want to write. My problem, I don't know what I do want to write. Some days it feels like there is so much that I want to get out, but I can't ever seem to be able to put it in to words. There use to be times when the words were simply there. They seemed to flow like water down a river.

Taking a break

Things have been a little crazy lately, and probably will be for a while. I have decided to take a break for a while. So for those that need to get a hold of me, you know where I am.

Lately

Here are a couple of recent pictures of Kate. She has grown so much, I can hardly believe it. She had her four month check up Monday. She is 25 inches long, 14 pounds 12 ounces.

We got the OK to start feeding her rice cereal, she isn't so sure about it. I guess it is a good thing we have a month to get her use to it before we start feeding her fruits and veggies.

The doctor also said that she is teething. Kate has been trying to chew on her binky's, bottle nipples, and Kraig's finger. She hasn't been anymore grumpy then usual so I don't know how soon she will have teeth.

Kate also got some of her vaccinations, that pissed her off. She is still a little grumpy from that, hopefully she gets feeling better soon.

Kate has figured out how to roll over from her back to her stomach, but has not quite figured out how to go from her stomach to her back.

We also finally figured out a way to give her baths with out her screaming through the whole thing. We just have to make sure the water is the exact same temperature as her body. It can't be warmer, or colder.

Friday night we went to a wedding reception for a friend of ours. There were a few people there from high school. I as usual felt as though I didn't quite fit in, and that the only reason any one even noticed me, was because of Kate (yes we took her, and she did really well). I also felt slightly envious of some people, they just seemed very put together, and I never am. I always feel awkward, and frumpy.

I don't do make-up (I don't really know that I want to), my hair does what it wants, and I am far from fashionable. I am looking forward to when my hair is longer again and I can at least pull it back.

One thing though, I have always felt this way. It is just a little worse now because of all the baby weight I still need to lose.

Kraig has taken up boating. Kraig and his brother Kurt, have been working on their grandfather's boat fixing it up. They have taken it out a couple of times, and it still needs work. I HATE being on large bodies of water, so Kate and I stay home. I do not like being in boats, so I find being at lakes boring. I don't fish I can't stand it. It drives me crazy.

Kraig and I have also been looking for a second job, so that we can get our bills paid off. We are still working on getting the hospital bills from Kate paid off. Plus I have had to have a bunch of things done since Kate was born. Things just keep piling up, and it is just too much some days, especially since I really don't want to be working at all.

Thinking

Kraig and I have been trying not to spend a lot of money. We are trying to pay off hospital bills, and stuff like that. So I have been debating if I should start cooking again. Right now most of the stuff we do it just frozen dinners, some are really good, and some not so much. One issue is that usually by the time we get home it is about 5:00pm, so cooking just sounds like a chore. It doesn't help that for me cooking dinner was one of my chores when I was in junior high. My mom worked, and my dad didn't cook, so it became my "job". Now I have a hard time doing it.
Anyway, one of my friends on Facebook put a link up to a blog she reads, The Things I Love!
Kendra (the girl that does, The Things I Love!) was doing a give away for Freezer Meals: 30 Meals in One Day. I read her blog about it, and it sounds like a really good idea. I went to the company's website . I want to check it out on my own. I love the idea. It would be simple, and dinner would be already mostly made, just needs to be warmed up. I am going to try their sample recipes.
I would like everyones opinion on this, would it be worth it? You can get just the cookbooks, or
just the CD's, or one book and matching CD, or all three books, and the CD for all three books.

I will do an update when I do the sample recipes!

My baby is three months old already!!

Well Kate is now three months old! She is slowly becoming less grumpy. She has also figured out how to play with her tongue. Kraig taught her to do it! Here are a few pictures of her that were taken this week.




The blue is her real eye color.






This one of Kate's room. I absolutely love this saying, so I couldn't resist putting it on her wall. The coloring and effects are courtesy of Kraig.


Here is video of Kate playing with her tongue.

Something new

Most of you know that I have signed up to be a Scentsy Consultant. I love Scentsy. I am so excited to sell it now!! I am also having my Scentsy launch party next Saturday. So those that haven't received an invitation of some sort and would like to come let me know!!

Just an update

Kate had her two month check up last week (things have been crazy).
Her weight was 11 lbs 5 oz.
Her length was 21 1/2 inches.
She has Hayfever (that doesn't make her happy).
She has Torticollis, we have to do neck exercises with her every time we change her.
She has learned to giggle, and it is very cute when we can get her to do it.
She is slowly getting less grumpy, which is making things easier.

Now for the bad news. I do not like Kate's new babysitter. Kate was going to a girl that is pregnant. So she is trying to get ready for her new baby, plus she was really just babysitting Kate as a favor. So I found a new baby sitter in my ward. Kate started going to her house on Tuesday of this week. Every day so far Kate has been in her car seat when I went to pick her up. Plus she is wrapped in her blanket. So when I get there Kate is hot and sweating. The lady has three kids of her own, plus my next door neighbors three kids, plus another little boy.
I feel Kate is not getting the attention that she needs, and deserves. So I am currently looking for a new babysitter...if anybody is willing to babysit for 100 dollars a week please let me know.
I have also signed up to sell Scentsy. I love Scentsy!! I decided not to do Avon, I felt in over my head, and know too many people that sell it. I am hoping that I will make enough to stay home. So if you want to order anything from me let me know! :)
It is getting harder for me to get up and go to work, I did better with Kate's first babysitter.

A little reminder

For the last few weeks I have had a hard time dealing with Kate's grumpy mood. I have tried so hard to not let it get to me, but it has. Yesterday she had her two month appointment (more on that in another post), so she got some of her immunization shots. Since then she has been mad most of the time, so I took today off to take care of her.
I was on Facebook, and a friend of mine posted this video, it was something I really needed to hear. I will continue to have a hard time with Kate, and there will be days that I will be frustrated, but I am not doing it by myself.

Kate's blessing & the musings of my brain

Let me first start with Kate's blessing. Kate slept through the whole thing, which I am so happy about. It would have been hard if she had been screaming through it. It was so wonderful to have so many family members there. It is so wonderful that our little family has so much support. Kate is surrounded by so many people who love her. In the circle Kate had all four of her uncles there Jeremy, Keith, Kent, and Kurt. She also had her Grandpa Oaks, and her Great Grandpa Duncan, as well as her great uncles Sam, Aaron, and Kenny, and one second cousin Chris. It is so wonderful that as she grows up she will have all these men in her life to help her. She will have her uncles & aunts, several cousins, lots of second cousins, a bunch of great uncles & aunts, and a couple of great grandpa's to help her when she needs it.

Seeing my baby being blessed, was incredible. I am so blessed to have my family. I am blessed to have what I have, and I am so grateful for it. I have been given so much. I love the gospel, I am so grateful to have it in my life.

-----

Kate is usually a pretty fussy baby (at least with me), last night was one of those nights. She would be just fine, and then all of a sudden she would just get pissed off. I wish I knew what was bothering her, and how to fix it. I hate that she gets so upset and I can't really do anything for her. I wish I could make her happy more.

-----

I need to lose about 50 lbs now, seriously. I was hoping that I would lose more of it then I have so far, and exercising is nearly impossible. 90% of my "free" time I am taking care of Kate, I don't even take care of me as much as I probably should. I don't know how I even gained the 50 lbs I need to lose, I don't eat. Which can cause issues for me when Kate is being super fussy, and I have been alone with her for more then an hour.

-----

Going to work everyday, and leaving Kate with other people is so hard for me. I hate that someone else is taking care of my baby (or at least I hope, they are taking care of her). The lady that is going to start watching Kate, is in my ward, and everyone says she is great. Plus she is going to do it for super cheap, but I still worry.

-----

I signed up to sell Avon, I am seriously wondering if I was just out of my mind or what. I don't know what I am doing, and I feel in over my head. I am also seriously considering selling Scentsy. I want to stay home, but in order to stay home I need a stay at home job. These are the only things I know of that aren't scams. 99.9% of the jobs that you see online for work from home jobs are scams, so I went with something that I knew. I really do not want to work anymore.

-----

I keep thinking that maybe I should start wearing make up. Plus I ran across this company. They have this eyeshadow:

Look at all those fun colors, it almost makes me think I should be wearing makeup!!

One problem I have with make up is, that it usually causes me to breakout because my skin is sensitive, and it has a hard time breathing with makeup on. Plus I save so much time not having to worry about makeup.

Kate's Blessing

We blessed Kate on Sunday. Here are a few pictures. Sadly we don't really have very many, and none of them show her dress very well. You would think with a family of photographers we would have ended up with some better pictures, but these are the best.
I will do a post on the actual blessing later. Kate is currently having a rough time.

Wondering what to do

Last weekend I found out that I can't do what I was hoping to do with Kate when I went back to work. Now I don't know what to do. The thought of daycare makes me cry, plus stresses me out. It would be pointless for me to put her in daycare it would cost me my whole check. I can't quit my job, first because my job is where I get mine and Kate's health insurance; second my check pays our car payment and our groceries. I keep hoping for a miracle, but so far nothing.

Slight Rant

Over the last few weeks I have been asked if Kate is a good baby. I usually just politely say yes, and drop the subject. I honestly don't believe that just because a baby cries it is a bad baby. I don't believe babies can be "bad". They can cry a lot, but that is their only means of communication right now. So they cry when they are hungry, they cry when they are tired, they cry when they want attention, they cry when their diaper needs to be changed, and sometimes they cry to cry.
I just really wish that people would quit trying to label a baby as bad or good. They are just babies!!

Books & Reading

It seems like everyone is coming up with their own e-reader.
This is Amazon's Kindle


This is Barnes & Nobles' Nook


This is Border's Kobo


It is kind of cool that you can fit so many books in one place. I know the Nook can store about 1,500 books. However I have to say that I enjoy curling up on a couch somewhere with an actual book in hand. It is not the same with the e-readers, it loses the comfort of it. So even though I have a ton of books, and no where to really put them. I would much rather have a physical book then one of the many e-readers.
The e-readers are simple, and clean. However they are just missing something. I love to read, and I love books. One thing I would like in our next house is somewhere I can turn into a reading loft, a sort of library. I love books, and I can read a book several times. To me books are better then movies.

Speaking of books better then movies, I remembered part of a book that I didn't read that I am wondering what book it was. I believe it was a book my supervisor at work was listening to on CD (I know I didn't read it otherwise I would remember more of the book then I do). It is driving me nuts!!

Today's thoughts

Kate is now a week old, really one week and one day. Everyday is a challenge for me, because this is all so new to me. I am often surprised at some of the things my little girl does. I swear she smiles even though they say she is too little. She loves to be held, especially when she wants to sleep. I have found that she loves to lay in the middle of my chest with her ear towards me (probably to listen to my heart beat, since it was a constant sound for her before she was born). If Kraig tries to lay her on his chest, she squirms. She has been trying to lift her head, since the day she was born, she has already head butt Kraig a couple of times. Kraig thinks her head butting him is great, especially since he wants to put her in kick boxing and Jiu Jitsu when she is old enough. She also seems very alert all the time, and has since she was born. We need to take her to a specialist for craniosynostosis. Kraig has it, and her head was oddly shaped when she came out, so they think she may have it, I am praying she doesn't need surgery. There are times I swear she is gasping for breath, it always scares me. I have found her with her left arm sticking straight in the air while she is sleeping a few times, I think it is kind of funny. She loves binky's, she doesn't really care what kind either. I don't let her sleep with a binky though, I am worried about something happening. She is currently sleeping on my bed next to me, I swear some how she moved from where I put her, she is closer to me then I thought she had been. Does that mean she is going to start rolling over early? Sometimes she squeaks in her sleep, we have for now nicknamed her Squeakers. We took her to the pediatrician's yesterday, I forgot her bottle and her binky, and she was so very mad. I felt so bad. I was trying not to cry. Are my emotions going to go back to normal anytime soon? I am seriously wondering what color her eyes are going to be, Kraig thinks blue. I guess we will see.
Things have been a little frustrating for me during the last week. Everything has changed, I don't know what normal life will be like for a while, but I do know it won't be what it was before. I just hope that I can do this without totally messing it up.
Also I watched a video that made me cry. This lady is incredible, here is the video (sorry the edge gets cut off, that is the smallest size they have)

Fill in the blank

I got this from my cousin-in-law Emily. Just as warning due to current frustrations, this may contain to much information for some, so don't complain if it is, I warned you.

I want sleep.

I can't get enough of my baby.

I think batteries are expensive, especially since so many things require them.

I think it's annoying that everyone keeps trying to tell me breast feeding is easy.

I'm not sure i like trying to pump instead of breast feed either, it is just a major chore. Plus it takes just as much time as trying to feed her, and catch up on sleep. I really don't think I am ever going to get things done anymore.

I'm hungry when I think about it, but I really should eat more often, it messes with my moods when I don't.

For Cinco De Mayo I cooked nothing, Kraig warmed up Sloppy Joe's though.

I'm mad that so many people are trying to lecture me on how to breast feed, and that my baby is feed formula. GRRR!!! I know that breast milk is better, but it isn't easy for everyone people!!!

I'm glad that I can usually sleep from about 6:00pm to 9:00pm, that is when Kraig is home, and after dinner.

I'm nervous about going back to work, I really don't want to. If anyone knows of a good stay at home job, that doesn't require spending money, and I can work when I want, please let me know.

I have a headache. It has been a long day.

I need to sleep, so that I can stay up with the baby tonight. She really has her days and nights mixed up. Maybe tonight won't be so bad...who am I kidding she already slept for about 4 hours straight.

I wish that I knew what I was going to do for Kraig's birthday in a few weeks. Plus I haven't even thought about Mother's day...I doubt I am going shopping anytime soon either :(

I'm excited that it is almost the weekend, maybe I can catch up on sleep.

I'm happy that Kate has gained 8 ounces since we left the hospital.


Now you fill in the blank.

Thank you!

I just want to say, my husband is awesome!! Thank you Sweets for everything!!

We are home!

Sorry I couldn't do this blog earlier, but the internet at the hospital was dumb. We couldn't log into email, or upload photo's, and the only reason we were able to even do Facebook is because we happened to have my iPod with us, however Kraig did manage to updated Linux on his laptop.
Kate was born Thursday morning at 12:05am, she weighed 7lbs 6oz, and was 19 inches long. Here are a couple of pictures.



I love this one of Kraig and Kate, but he hates it.


I hate this one of me, so Kraig can't complain too much :)

Just another update

FYI this post may just contain a little to much information for some, so be forewarned.
This morning I woke up at about 1:00, because I needed to pee. No big surprise. I had already gotten up a few time during the night. I hadn't slept much during the night, because I was having very sporadic contractions.
All day yesterday I had been spotting, that kind of freaked me out a little, but my doctor had warned me and told me that I probably would, and it was normal. At 1:00am this morning, it seemed to me that I was doing more then just spotting. So I told Kraig we needed to go to the hospital. Kraig was still up so luckily I didn't have to wake him up (sometimes he is hard to get up).
Once at the hospital the nurses hooked me up to a fetal monitor, and took my blood pressure. My blood pressure was at least to me really high, it was 153/83. It also took the nurse a while to find the babies heart beat (that didn't help my blood pressure, it kind of freaked me out a little). She did find the heart beat though, I guess Kate was just turned funny.
Another nurse came in after a while and actually checked me. She said I was dilated to about 1 1/2, she said that they wanted to monitor me for a little while, and said that it looked like the bleeding wasn't causing any problems. She said that every now and then it happens for some reason, but doesn't cause any problems with the baby.
So they had me hooked up to the fetal monitor and was watching the babies heart rate, which was going up and down a lot (I am guessing this is totally normal, they didn't say anything about it???). My contractions were still sporadic they were happening anywhere from 10 to 3 minutes apart, but they were increasing in intensity.
After a few hours of watching me they decided to give me morphine and send me home. They said that the morphine would make me really sleepy (which it did), but that it would either stop the contractions if it was false labor, or make it so my contractions weren't as sporadic as they had been and actually help with labor. I decided to do it, because I hated not knowing if something was going to happen.
Now I am sitting in my bed, feeling very groggy, and ready to go back to bed (the nurse told us that I would probably sleep for about 16 hours). I also feel very spacey still, and not exactly sure of everything going on.
However on a side note when I left the hospital my blood pressure was back down, but still high it was 142/81, and I am dilated to about a 2 now. So who knows what will happen now. They didn't put me on bed rest even though I thought they might, however since the morphine is suppose to make me sleep for 16 hours, I guess they put me on bed rest for today.

Just a short update

This is the latest picture of me, as you can see I chopped my hair. It is a little shorter then I was hoping, but I am getting use to it now.
As of my last appointment nothing major has changed.

Just a quick note

I finally finished all the thank you cards for all the baby stuff we received (at least I am hoping I haven't forgotten anyone). Here is my problem with Thank you cards, even though you are suppose to personalize each thank you card, to me they still seem impersonal and detached. Besides there are some people that deserve so much more then a Thank you card. I am very grateful to everyone that has given me stuff for the baby. It has helped us so much. Some how trying to tell everyone Thank you on a piece of paper doesn't seem to do it justice.
There are some people, like my in-laws, and my mom that have done a lot for me. To me a thank you note actually seems almost inappropriate.
So to those that have received a thank you card yet, I am sorry I have been trying to work on them. I am very grateful for everything that I have been given, and I am so humbled by the love and support that we have been shown.

A few more baby things

These were taken Monday...I have just been really warn out, and haven't had the energy to post them. These are at 35 weeks.


Big Belly


Here are some really cute things I have gotten from people that couldn't make it to showers.

Me being a little philosophical

In the last few months, there have been several earth quakes. Haiti and Chilie are only two of at least 10 that were over 6.0. These are the earth quakes that have happened since January of this year.

Magnitude 6.7 OFFSHORE BIO-BIO, CHILE March 16, 2010
Magnitude 6.5 NEAR THE EAST COAST OF HONSHU, JAPAN March 14, 2010
Magnitude 6.9 LIBERTADOR O HIGGINS, CHILE March 11, 2010
Magnitude 6.1 EASTERN TURKEY March 08, 2010
Magnitude 6.8 SOUTHERN SUMATRA, INDONESIA March 05, 2010
Magnitude 8.8 OFFSHORE MAULE, CHILE February 27, 2010
A 6.4 magnitude quake hit southern Taiwan at 8:18 on 3/3/10
Eureka earthquake occurred on January 9, 2010 at 4:27:38 p.m. PST
2010 Solomon Islands earthquake was a magnitude 7.2 January 03, 2010
2010 Venezuela earthquake was a 5.6 magnitude earthquake Friday, 15th January

This got me thinking, we don't know all the signs of the second coming, in D&C 45:39–40 it says:
39 And it shall come to pass that he that feareth me shall be looking forth for the great day of the Lord to come, even for the signs of the coming of the Son of Man.
40 And they shall see signs and wonders, for they shall be shown forth in the heavens above, and in the earth beneath.

Earth quakes are in the earth beneath, is it one of the signs?
I believe everything happens for a reason, I also believe that we won't always know what the reasons are in this life. Heavenly Father does not share everything he is planning with us.
Also in thinking about what all the earthquakes mean, I started thinking about how Haiti lost so much. All these places have lost a lot. However Haiti seems to be the one that has lost the most. I think that is because they had the least amount of things. Haiti is a relatively poor country, in fact they are the poorest country in the America's. They have their homes and their families, and very little else.
With that said I started thinking about all the "things" we have. We have so much, we have been blessed to live in a free country, with the ability to choose who we are, and what we are going to do. I also started to thinking about how there are so many things that seem to get in the way. We as humans tend to get distracted by things, whether it is nice cars, big houses, gadgets, or just stuff in general. We often let these things get in the way of what is really important. There have been so many times that I just want to take half the things we own to the DI, we don't need everything we have. There are things that are necessary, and what each family needs may be very different then what another family needs.
I often wonder what good it is to have a lot of things other then the necessities, after this life they will be meaningless. They aren't important.
I am not saying that I am going to be able to get rid of a lot of things, but I see very little use for a lot of things right now. I also know that with the baby coming, my views of somethings will change.

Pictures ... as promised

Alright, here are pictures of all the things I got at my showers, plus a few extras!!

Here are a couple of diaper cakes that I got.



Here is the tub I got ( I love it!! Thanks Marilyn!)


A balloon gift from Barbara. I thought it was so cute that I still haven't popped it.


Some super fun bath stuff, that I think Kraig will have just as much fun with as Kate. Especially the leap pad.


A few diapers, and wipes





Bath wash, lotion, and other such things
Someone told me this bedtime lotion is wonderful!!



The baby monitor we got


This is a carseat cover that my sister-in-law Stacy's mom made for me. I think it is super cute


A few toys, and a few necessities





A better view






Up close of the cute ones


Some really cute clothes






Look at the feet!! They are so cute!!







I also got a whole bunch of hand me down clothes, but I can't get pictures of them all up here!!

These are from my very talented Mother-in-law!! Aren't they so cute!!


Alright now for washcloths, burp cloths, towels, and blankets




I don't care that this is blue, I love it!!!

I love the turtles!!




Some really cute hooded towels, I am so glad there are people out there that are much more talented then I am at sewing!!





Speaking of being more talented at sewing, my aunt Tena made this, I love the little animals

This is a little closer picture of the animals

This is the back


This was made by a very talented lady named Phyllis, she is my grandpa's cousin (if I am remembering correctly). This is so cute!!

Here is an up close picture of the border


Currently I am keeping all the clothes, towels, washcloths, stuffed animals, and all the blankets in my cedar chest. I figured it was the safest there. I think it is a little full though...


Thank you everyone one for everything. Also I am working on Thank you cards, I will get them out eventually. Thank you cards are hard!!