i used to wonder how silly ppl could hold on to that one single hope and spend their entire lives waiting for that one single bloody person..but yeah i think i'm starting to get an idea how how the whole thing works out..its not that u have to force urself or anything..it juz comes naturally..u just dont want anyone else. sounds mushy. eekz.4 mths. its passed pretty quickly.but yet it felt so slooow. you said u might be back. and this is that one thing i'm clinging on to..i'm giving you..3 yrs..thats all that u're worth..ha! but maybe i'll change my mind half-way thru..when someone better comes along..so u better hurry. i'm so excited!! in abt an hour's time i'll be meeting Bilu and probably Feli in town..so hyped up about it cuz i haven seen them for so long!! ok actually not them i juz saw feli a few days ago but bilu?!! ages!! she's still as crazy as ever..rang up cuz she was over over over joyed with her bargain at Veeko..but aiya she's got a last minute work assignment at 3pm!! so we have to make the most of our time helping her shop for shoes for her attachment..can u believe it!! she's attached with one of the Big Four..man that'll be an experience of a life time!! but working there's got pros and cons so yea..
ok gtg get ready!!
;DThese are words that go together well. My Michelle..this is such a lovely song..sung so tenderly i wish my name was michelle..i love the beatles..and my dad loves them too..haha..i think..i mean who doesnt ?!played bball yesterday..man muscle aches everywhere!!I need you, I need you, I need you.I need to make you see,Oh, what you mean to me.Until I do I'm hoping you willKnow what I mean.alot of things i see i may not say but it doesnt mean i dont know it doesnt mean u can push it. seriously getting on my nerves. itz not just any particular something that i'm talking about..i just mean on a general level i'm feeling damn irritated with many things..gosh i feel like juz living in my own world. aint that bad bein autistic stimes. ur body juz creates a natural psychological barrier against the outside world.Michelle, ma belle.Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble,Tres bien ensemble.time to start mugging.fuck these four yrs arent gonna be easy but certain factors have made me tougher than b4.i'll jst have to do some adjustments. fuck i hate this hypocritical realistic and judgemental world. what happened to the one that God created ? same thing that happened to Adam and Eve. we've all been tested and tempted by Satan and guess what ?! we've ALL failed. terribly. yep you and i. we're all sinners like it or not. maybe our souls will burn one day for that but God still loves us. i wonder why.I love you, I love you, I love you.That's all I want to say.Until I find a wayI will say the only words I know thatYou'll understand.yep we still dont fucking geddit right. studying for macro essay tmr..i know its not as difficult as accounting is ever gonna be but essay is like so not my forte..its not even my sort of thing..but yea will try my best..i cant wait to get back to SMC man..where i can just laugh at the ppl there..and i cant wait to go swimming or skating..arrghz i just have to do one of 'em by this wk..i cannot allow myself to grow fat!!and guess what. i still havent made any friends in school. except for juria in accounting..but she's not even in Economics so that doesnt really count..ok so i know a few names in my tutorial classes..but i dun really wanna like hang out with them after class or during lunch that sort of thing..i'd rather juz look for Yunz or XJ or Eunice or my sis and her gang..i mean ultimately they're ppl i know..oh bother..i juz found out my project for accounting is due in october..mind u its NOT easy..and august has past..i have the group list on hand..juria's in my group (thank god!) but ya we dont know anyone else..we din bother to contact them and ya no one bothers to contact us either..so i guess we're pretty screwed until someone gets their ass of the couch and actually does sthing abt it..ya i know..i've got their mobile numbers and their email adds but c'mon man i cant even handle the screwed tutorial so screw the bloody-already-screwed project..yeah..thats the way ppl..leaved it screwed and get screwed..bottomline : screw accounting!!! or get to know that smartass bangladeshi in accounting class..charm the socks of him and get free tuition. ok. decision made. screw accounting and leave everyone happy including MEself..hurray..man why did i even think of minor-ing in business. i'm so devastated! kelly's got a lower score than the other contestant. i really do feel she is THE superstar..ppl i hope u guys are all smsing ur butts out voting for her ya..;'( i'm so distraught i shall not say more..*SoBz*
but oh well Uncle Joe said he'd help vote for kelly..but i doubt it be much use against the ppl at the other end of the causeway..oh bother.. but its funny that he'd actually spend on stuff like that..he's usually daaamn miserly..
so in turn i shall put in more effort in compiling the list of songs i said i'd burn for him..i'm a person with an overwhelming deal of gratitude..
nxt wk there's an in-class essay for macro..help..more accounting tutorials..double help !!
yawnz..muz jia you..
time for Inuyasha now....;)
the thing i like about gg back to SMC, other than seeing all my fav ex-colleagues, is the expression i see on the many familiar faces over there..most of them don't really see us at all..haha i mean they don't really recognize us at once glance..and even if they ARE looking straight in our faces..some of them still dont SEE that, hey itz us..we're back! that kinda thing..and after like a time lag of 20secs, they'd go like ' Hey !! ' and YunZ and i would be laughing like crazy...cuz all the while we'd be looking at them..waiting and counting how long they actually take to SEE us..man thats the funniest part..but the best feeling no doubt would be the smiles on those faces..those expressions tell u they truly care..but of course our dearest Mama has a totally different way of expressing it..which is really funny as well..haha! things really havent changed..JaNe, MeL, AsRa, GiNny..they're all the same oldz.. Amisah, Hassan..still the same! except now Amisah keeps whacking my ass..hahaa..man but it makes me feel loved..truly ;)and my dearest Jacky still frowns while smiling at the same time..itz like he's trying to hide his grin..but we can see right through it..ha! i really miss the times we had fun together..especially during the night shifts.. man i adore this guy.. ;)back to the real world..accounting tutorial not done!! and i'm having tut on Tues..and tmr i gotta go attend mass cuz itz a day of obligation..that sounds really bad rite..that i'm going only cuz itz a day of obligation..geez..itz gets really tough as u grow up to stay committed to ur religion..but i will do my best.. ;) for some bloody reason he's not talking to me i dont know why..but its irritating the hell out of me.. if u're pissed then tell me whats wrong or sthing !! dun juz ignore me!? i dont geddit..itz not as if i did anything to piss u off.. what did i do what did i do what did i do ... hmmz.. i cant think of anything ..arrghz jz screw urself wuncha. i cant be bothered to ask every single effed up person who's pissed with me. i know i didnt do anything wrong so i wont bother to effing care.
i'm tired manz. i dun understand this world. -__-#!
i must stay strong. i must stay focused. i must not lag behind in class. i must pay attention. i must not get distracted. i must not screw up anymore. i must take responsibility. i must do this on my own. for i have already lost you. this is what i have left.
it is not a bad thing. i have you in my heart. and as long as i do not get dementia, i'm good.i can forget all other things but not this.
its kinda hard to treasure those around me when i'm like always pining for someone who's over there..but i must do it so history will not repeat itself.
