this is a rant that I want you to know about.

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Rather than worrying about what we can do for the world, we think about how we should look for the world. Rather than wondering what our fingers and legs and waists and necks and eyes are supposed to accomplish, we slather them in lotions and oils and scents and adorn them with rings and scarves and bangles and hope that they’re good enough to pass for beautiful. Beautiful.

            You know what I think is beautiful? I think it’s beautiful when a woman dresses in a way that makes her happy and then goes out into the world and forgets about her clothes. I think it’s beautiful when a woman takes care of her body and then forgets whether or not it’s bigger or smaller than someone else’s. I think it’s beautiful when a woman uses her body to accomplish things that others would only dream of doing.

            There is nothing wrong with wanting to look good. There is something wrong when looking good becomes the most important – sometimes the ONLY important thing about a human being. I don’t care if you want to lose weight, but I do care WHY you want to lose weight. Is it because you feel unhealthy and unhappy, and you think that being fit will help? Great. Do it. Or is it because your body doesn’t look like Beyonce’s, and the only way you could possibly be wanted or loved is if it did? Stop that. Stop it right now and remember what beauty means, and more importantly what love means.

... hey.

This is what happens when you have 1 o'clock church. It is 11:30 and I'm completely ready to go, therefore you all have the privilege of reading my random ramblings.

I love being a student. Before my mission, I liked to party a little too much. I was always distracted by friends and would choose them over homework every time. Now I have this thirst for knowledge that I can never seem to satisfy. Most of the time I relish doing my homework and attending class. I have developed a love for work: physical, mental, and spiritual. Nothing feels better than accomplishing something difficult, especially in the service of others.

Not a day goes by that I am not overcome with gratitude for my mission. Not a day goes by that I don't think of Taiwan and the people there at least once. Heavenly Father has taken such good care of me since returning, from getting a job at the MTC, to setting me up with AWESOME (osm.) roommates, to taking care of my family in their time of need. I cannot imagine my life without my mission. Nor do I want to try!

I have discovered the joy that comes from perfect obedience. Before, I might have made excuses for myself - accepted my weaknesses and failings without much thought. Now I am constantly repenting and striving to be better than I am. Of course it's not right to dwell on your mistakes, but it's also not right to settle for something below your potential. Mistakes are to be learned from and changed. They are part of the transformation process, but we have to be willing to let them go and be something more.

These are just a few of the things that are on my mind lately. In case you were wondering.

I AM SOOO HAPPY!!!!!!

This made me literally sob with joy today. It was pretty ridiculous, I'm glad I was the only one home.

For some background, this is a letter from my last companion, Sister Sorensen, who is still in the area I left when I came home. The letter is about an American investigator, Angelique Parea, who was the hardest investigator I ever taught! She lives in Taiwan teaching English. This is a MIRACLE! Also the (*comments) are me.


"Well, so much has happened but I am afraid it won't seem like much through an email. So many miracles have happened with our beloved white investigator! She has been investigating the church for over a year now (*that is ridiculously long for our mission) and because she is literally alone in the world the sisters never stopped visiting her even when she was not progressing. She has had some really hard things happen in her life that left her with no hope and almost no hope in God (she grew up Christian-baptized twice) When I came here a couple months ago, the first time I met with her, she all of a sudden was willing to start reading and praying again-according to my comp(*that's me!) that had been in that area for a while that was a miracle. Then her journey went on from there-so many ups and downs, progression, no progression, excitement, frustration (*I might add physical and mental breakdowns).... A few weeks ago she started to change. she was happier, seeing the miracles, wanting to change. Then about 2 weeks ago (I might have already told you this part) sis. P and I had an amazing experience in both feeling impressed to watch 'On the Lord's Errand' about Pres.Monson. She was really moved by that and then she said she believed he was the prophet. We still had the BOM, Joseph Smith, Priesthood, true church....testimonies to work on, BUT this was an amazing start. From then on we/I prayed and fasted more than I have ever prayed in my life. We had to so closely follow the Spirit on every single lesson we wanted to teach her as we had no idea because she had been taught for the past year. It was amazing! Every time we started teaching her (with anxiety in my heart because I wasn't sure if we should be teaching her something else) she would say, "I was studying that the other day," or, "At church the other day they mentioned that and I had a question..."! She, too, noticed this miracle. Two weeks ago during weekly planning we prayed so hard for her. We had a plan/hope/vision of what we wanted to accomplish by the end of the week- Prophets>Temples>Baptismal goal! I hoped so much for it. We had some great inspired lessons then It came to the end of the week lesson (baptism lesson, right) and we go to the end and I was hesitating but then my wonderful companion said the words! Then our Investigator said, "I had been thinking about that. When I went to church the other day there was a man that said he was preparing for baptism and I wondered what that meant!" We started to discuss and then asked when she thought she would be prepared to be baptized and she said, "Well, I have been thinking before one of you leaves!" This was a miracle! We were ecstatic! But the journey wasn't over yet. We knew she still needed a more complete testimony and we didn't want her to get baptized for us. She is not really that kind of person, but still... Then, last week a really bad thing happened to her friend that got her all distracted and in despair (which meant I was in despair a lot-ha) It was up and down every day and again we fasted and prayed like no other, put her name in the temple. We thought we were losing her. But because of this bad experience we gave her some BOM scriptures to read and in turn she got her testimony of the BOM and she was able to see how the blessings of this Gospel can give you strength in hard times. Lots of miracles happened to give her strength. We had our Mission President attend one of our lessons and he did a wonderful job at helping her understand testimony. She went to church yesterday and said that it had given her strength instead of making her exhausted like she thought it would (a lot of health problems). We taught her the Word of Wisdom last night (more like reviewed it). It was a struggle, but again, miracles! She will be getting baptized on the 30th! I was reading her 5 page teaching reccord last night (*two pages of which were written by me!!) and it was amazing to see how God had directed her life and changed her no matter how much she kicked and screamed. Also, it was so great to see all the love and understanding He has for her. It gives me great hope for all of us. Again, I wish you all could have been there with me as this e-mail is far from adequate!"

Yeah, sorry that was all in one huge chunk.
I just need to say this: the church is absolutely true, miracles happen, and anyone who reads and prays about the Book of Mormon will know that it is the word of God! I LOVE THIS WORK!

something to say

Lately I have been very content. I love my job, I have very pleasant roommates and a nice ward. All in all, my life at the moment is... serene. A little TOO serene.

I feel that I am lacking pizazz. I'm not really sure if it's because I don't have many friends around to be weird with or if I am less inclined to be weird these days. Either way, while I am perfectly happy, I feel a little bit of longing to break out of this shell I've grown and be wild.

For now, I try not to worry about it too much, and I content myself with random dance parties alone in my pajamas. Perhaps in the fall, with a new ward and new crowd of friends, I will have more opportunities to bust a move.

BAM.

oh, ni hao.

I haven't been on here in quite some time! So I figured it was time to update.

As of right now, I'm living in Provo. I got a job in the Mandarin department at the MTC, and I could not be more thrilled about it. It is exactly what I needed to keep myself sane with this post-mission blues. Heidi keeps telling me I'm not allowed to be Sister Weinheimer all the time, and that I need to be more crazy, like Jade. haha. I guess I've been so accustomed to "quiet dignity" that it weirds her out a little bit. But it's okay, I'll get my crazy back.

Due to some unusual circumstances at the MTC, I have to complete 6 weeks of training in only two weeks. Generally they don't leave you alone in the classroom after only 2 weeks, but since there's a shortage of teachers (or there will be starting July 1), I get to have a crash course and then start right in! Whoopee! So starting today I'll be observing a bunch of different teachers to see what the curriculum is like and get a feel for their teaching styles and methods. Have a mentioned that I am REALLY excited? I get paid to like... study the scriptures and stuff. That almost feels like sin.

That's pretty much it. The last month or so has been spent with my family, immediate and extended. It was nice, but I am MORE than ready to be busy again. It will be nice when I don't have to invent ways to keep myself productive - I'll already have a whole pile of things on my plate. Hooray!