December 2014

End of 2014 has been very special for me!

Firstly, it's the first time I spent Christmas in NZ. In the past few years, I was either in Malaysia/Singapore. This year, I was so lucky that I got to spend Christmas with Byron and his Family, and experience a Western Christmas family gathering experience. We had a Barbeque on Christmas eve, and on Christmas day we had Christmas lunch consisting of delicious ham on bone, roasted lamb & chicken and yummy desserts.

Christmas has always been my favourite time of the year. I love the atmosphere, songs, decorations, the significance of it, the holidays, the gatherings, and having the chance to join Byron & his family this year makes it a so much more wonderful experience.

I also did some travelling with Byron, something I haven't done for ages! We went for a 3 day, 1 night trip to Hanmer Springs, it was relaxing and a nice getaway from Christchurch. I especially loved the extensive swimming we did there!

This year, so many of my friends & acquaintances around my age got hitched!

I was invited to a couple of weddings but they were held in Malaysia & unfortunately I was unable to attend, but it was wonderful looking at the photos on Facebook. 

Getting married used to seem so grown up to me, but now it seems to be natural for people around my age group.

My ex-boyfriend of around 6 years also got married with his girlfriend this year. I've always loved looking at wedding photos, but of course I was even more curious to see the photos of this person that I used to be so close to. The wedding looked so beautiful, it seemed like such a perfect wedding! 

I feel very happy for him, and am very glad he is with a beautiful girl that seems like she will be a good wife. Despite having broken up with him years ago, and we do not keep in touch anymore, I do wish him the best from the bottom of my heart, and hope that he has happiness, success and family bliss in his life. He is a good person and deserves it. 

Another friend that came to NZ in 2010 together with me, got married as well just yesterday, she looked so pretty in her wedding dress and looked so happy. I actually get excited looking at such happy photos. 

I guess my overall thoughts is that, life has indeed progressed for us, and while mine has not yet led to marriage, I am sure there is many good things in store for me. There are things that I would like to achieve before I will begin to be concerned about marriage, this includes having a successful career, being a better, more mature person in general, improving my culinary skills and building on my hobbies. 

I used to not really have a hobby, however I discovered that I have recently started developing a keen interest in cooking, in which I hope to keep improving my skills. 

An Early Christmas Present

Got this baby as an Early Xmas 2014 present from Byron!

  

                                        

I came home from work today and we were just chatting on the couch.

I commented how our Xmas tree looks all messed up because Jax had been playing with it.

And then he asked 'What's under the Christmas tree?'

I saw a Farmer's plastic bag and through the side I could see the Apple logo and I instantly knew what it was!

I really never expected I would get this present from him now even though I had mentioned a few times I wish I had one.

It's so beautiful and I am so in love with it. Of course I'm most in love with Byron.

He's so good to me! 

I can be quite lazy sometimes, especially after a hard day's work. I received this assessment that I had to do, not necessarily this evening, but ASAP. I felt lazy when I left work because it had been very busy this week as we were short staffed and work volume was very high with Xmas approaching.

However when I got home and told Byron I had an assessment to do, I also mentioned I think I need a calculator, immediately he said let's go get one enthusiastically, or we can borrow one from his brother who lives next door.

I was all psyched up by his enthusiasm. Really touched as well. 

Ended up completing it tonight together. He's so supportive and I really am very thankful for him as he's so perfect for me.

This whole thing was after he had a bad day at work. 

I really hope things pick up for him soon... I'd much rather go through hardships myself than have him go through it...and I am willing to make sacrifices....

Sometimes I still look at him and think how lucky I am.

I guess whenever I feel down in life, I should always remind myself how lucky I am already that I met someone so perfect for me.  

Time is an Ingredient

Time is an ingredient.

No matter how good a batter you made, if you don't put it in the oven long enough, the cake will not turn out beautifully.

Such is life. Some things take time, many good things take time.
Like a cake, sometimes you just need to enjoy and accept the heat, let it build and raise you, with time you will turn out beautifully.
You just gotta believe you have the right ingredients in you, and you make the right kind of batter and that you're destined to be a good cake.

Many times, maturity comes with experience, and experience takes time to build up. As much as I would like to rush things, it's just not possible.
People can only learn so much each day, but sleep, time and enough exposure consolidates things together.
In an organisation, people with experience have a certain edge as they have seen more and been through more incidents specific to that organisation.
However, as much as time is a necessary ingredient, there are always ways to speed things up.
You can work hard, it helps if you are a fast learner. You can absorb as fast as you can, hopefully in a short time, with experience, you'll be at the same destination as people with experience, who may not have tried and pushed themselves as hard.

10/11/2014

What should I write?
I often have thoughts and have so much inspiration for things to write, but I must admit the hardest part is pushing myself to start.
If I do not start, nothing will be achieved. The beginning is always the hardest, it's true.

It's November 2014. Things have changed so much since last year, so much has happened.
A year ago, I never thought I'd be here in New Zealand still. This would be the wildest of my wildest dreams. About to complete my degree. I was torn between staying in NZ and going back to Malaysia/Singapore.
I wanted to stay, but I didn't know how, and there were not enough reasons for me to stay.
I applied for many jobs to no avail. I thought I had a management trainee job in the bag but I did not, and I was very disappointed.

And then along came Byron. 25th of November 2013.
I never knew what love is until I met him.
As corny as it may sound, I never thought there'd be someone as perfect for me as him.

Carrying only a luggage, a backpack and love and support from my loved ones, I returned to New Zealand in January, Byron picked me up from the airport. I felt so much freedom as soon as I saw him waiting for me at the arrivals.

Despite the uncertainty, it was very exciting to have the opportunity to carve out a future for ourselves.
We didn't have much, but we had each other.

Soon after, Byron got a job, then I got a job. We moved into a room together, and then to our own apartment. We got Jax our cat. We met each other's families. We went through many ups and downs together and we have slowly but surely started establishing our lives together.

Looking back, things do happen for a reason. You never really know what one thing can lead to. An event might seem bad at that time and devastate you, but it might be just that event that turns your life around to something amazing.
If I had secured that management trainee job, I would not have went online, I would not have met Byron. I would be focused on going back to Malaysia and it would be just that.
I know, for a fact, that that is not I want. I will not have enjoyed living in Kuala Lumpur.
The main thing is, I would be without Byron.

There are still many things that I am working towards and would like to achieve. I like to believe that I am slowly getting there. The future is exciting.

Differences: Life in Christchurch Before and After My Graduation

I never really thought too much about completing university aside from the fact that it signifies freedom. As cliched as it sounds, the power to chart your life direction comes with great responsibility.

During my time at university, life was pretty much planned out for me. All I had to do was just make sure I pass my exams. Money was never an issue with allowance coming in regularly. Life was very comfortable.

Now that I'm back in Christchurch, the place I had grown so used to for the past few years. I feel strangely like a travelling stranger. Those who know me well will know that I am not a fan of travelling. I like to be in a place where I have everything I need in close proximity. It does make me sound a bit spoiled. But yeah, I admit that was how I was!

Now, it's different. Don't know where I'll be in the next month and what is going to happen. Right now, I'm really just living day by day, taking one step at a time. Now that it's the first time I'm living off campus, I start to feel more strongly the differences between being a student and not.

1) Getting used to living without usual comforts

I used to not like staying/camping at the university for long. As a student, I lived very close to university (10-15 minutes walk away) and I always felt that staying in my room is much more comfortable and I had immediate access to facilities like my shower, personal kettle, food and such.

This time, I am living in a house with no internet access and is two bus rides away from university (which is where I always come to get internet access). The house is also without a dryer so I always have to keep an eye out for rain when I'm drying my laundry and always plan my outfits ahead so I have enough clean clothes to wear! This is unlike previously where I lived in a place with a dryer and can, within a couple of hours transform my dirty laundry into clean laundry.

Also, power was unlimited for me when I was living on campus as it was included in my rent. I used to be able to use as much as I needed without thinking twice (though I do try to be environmentally conscious). Now that I pay for power based on how much I use and I'm living on a budget without a job yet, I think twice before leaving the lights on, or boiling a full kettle of water instead of half a kettle when I don't need a lot of hot water. This made me realise how comfortable life was when I was living on campus. I think it also makes me a more responsible human being now. :)

2) Unfamiliar environment

Having lived in the same area for the past few years, moving to a new area, albeit on a temporary basis does take some getting used to. Where I used to live, I knew exactly where to get what I needed such as the local takeout store, grocery store, homeware store.

Living in a new area, I needed to spend more effort to find out where the new local stores are located. Thankfully with the internet (or 3g internet since I don't have broadband at home) and smartphones, everything is just a few taps away.

This is when I come to appreciate having convenience stores like dairies and petrol stations nearby. Although the prices of items they sell are normally more expensive than if you go to a big supermarket, it's really convenient for people who don't own a car to get essential items quickly such as toilet paper, food, bodywash and other things you need on a daily basis!

3) Safety

I always felt very safe living on campus. There were Residential Assistants always a call away if I ever needed any sort of help! Now that I live off campus, I feel more vulnerable. The fact that I don't live with my close friends anymore makes things even more challenging as a girl. But I learn to take the necessary precautions such as not going out too late, always walking in brightly lit areas and keeping the door locked.

I also start to realise how safe and friendly the university environment was. Being in university makes me feel much more secure, physically and emotionally as opposed to being off campus and away from the suburb I used to live. I love my university!

4) Transport

Having owned a car until I sold it after I completed university, I had to get used to not being able to get to wherever I want very easily.

Come to think of it, owning a car would be more useful to me now than then as I often change locations and bring lots of stuff with me. I have become adept at using the local bus system which I think is really efficient and helpful. I appreciate having the buses a lot but I do think it is quite pricey for public transport :( I spend on average 5 dollars a day whenever I take the buses.

Doing much more walking and taking the public transport opened up new experiences for me. I start to admire the environment and notice little things more than I did before. I also get to know my surroundings more when I research the area to find out the most efficient bus route. I get to meet, observe and interact with more people by taking public transport. Also, I started to appreciate the beautiful New Zealand weather for being outdoors and walking and I start to not be afraid of being under the sun. I believe it is a common feeling for Chinese females to not want to get tanned as fairness is an attribute of beauty for us. However, I have overcome this and am not afraid to get smiled at by the sun more often now!

5) Constantly Breaking and Rebuilding your Routine System

Those who like a certain degree of routine in their lifestyle will appreciate this point.

An example of a routine system for me is how I use water in the bathroom.
Where I used to live on campus, our tap has hot and cold water settings and I only needed to rotate the head of the faucet to adjust the temperature of the water that is released.
I now live in a more old fashioned house where there are two separate taps consisting of hot and cold water respectively. The thing about this is that the hot water is often nearly boiling hot, and cold water is freezing cold! To obtain the ideal temperature of water I like, I have to use a cup to mix hot and cold water and use water from the cup instead of from the tap directly.

What made things more challenging is my very sensitive skin. Any little changes in my lifestyle or stress will impact on my skin, in the form of breakouts or redness and irritation. This can be very challenging especially for a female. I tackle this by keeping a positive mindset, accepting my body and doing what is necessary to maintain my health and hope for the best. I won't let something like that stop me from achieving what I want!

This is just a little change out of many changes in lifestyle that I believe anyone who has traveled before will understand. Such changes is one of the reasons I did not particularly like travelling as I love to keep my routines in life especially in the hygiene compartment. I guess I just, like majority of the human race, like being in my comfort zone :p. I do believe though, that such changes are exactly how travelling changes people. You break out of your previous routines and comfort zone and experience new things, see how others live their lives and think of new ways to adapt to your environment.

It's refreshing, and I have more than once, felt amazed at the rate at which I start feeling comfortable in a new environment. I surprise myself as I didn't expect myself to be able to adapt so quickly. My body got ahead of my feelings in this aspect. I'm very pleased with this and have more confidence in myself now to be able to survive in a new environment.

To those who feel scared to step out to a new environment and who feel that they can only be comfortable in their comfort zone, believe me, your body and mind has more capabilities than you can imagine. Just do it!

6) Uncertainty

I never really thought much about not doing anything during my holidays/term break. For the activities I fill my holidays up with, it's more out of the fact that I like to develop myself rather than societal/parental/peer pressure to do so.

After graduation, I immediately feel the pressure to find a paid job, just any paid job to do! The fact that I can't say I'm a student now when people ask me what I do and have no job yet, makes me feel bad! I really had never foresaw this feeling even just a couple of months back. I always felt like I had toiled away at academics and certainly no one will be harsh on me if I remained unemployed for a while, after all, the past few years haven't been easy! I was wrong, I admit I feel societal and peer pressure to quickly get a job now to avoid being viewed as a bum/loser. This is the vibe that I get in my current situation.

But what I'm doing now is really not walking the path that I would otherwise have walked if I had not chose this path. Does this sentence make sense? What I mean is, the "remaining in comfort zone" me would have just got a job somewhere closer to home (for example, 1 hour flight away from home? I'm 10 hours flight away from home now) and start to establish a new working life in a more familiar environment with a stable professional job. Right now, I still can't see yet what I'm gonna do for a living in this much more foreign environment and there's sooooooo much uncertainty. The bright side is, things are so much more exciting! I am very optimistic and I know that I will figure something out as things unravel itself.

After all, if now is not the time to do this, when is? :)

24 January

Still waiting for my work visa outcome.

Although I have been in Christchurch for the past four years, this time around I feel like a traveller. Traveller with no direction. Sometimes I feel lost and miss home a lot.

I read some traveller's blogs online and feel envious of how much they enjoy their holiday process. www.4tern.com's blog was especially refreshing. She's a Malaysian Chinese as well who came to New Zealand for working holiday and later on obtained a work visa. I admire her courage and optimism. Particularly, her entrepreneurial spirit in turning all her experiences into a popular website and published book is amazing to me!

Perhaps, I'm more of a homebody. I used to dislike the feeling of floating around for too long and being "direction-less". I am sort of like on a forced travel situation now. No permanent address and lots of waiting and speculating. Perhaps I shouldn't wait so long. But I feel things should go much more smoothly though once I've obtained my work visa. I have no choice but to remain optimistic in such a situation. There's no turning back now! I'm sure things will turn out fine as long as I have the will.

My room

I have my own room now!

After days of living with B, I have now obtained keys to my room. Went to check out the place today. It was such a long walk as the bus stop was far from my place. I found out later that there was a bus stop closer to my place by 50% :) My place was a quaint kiwi style little house located far from the street. It was empty when I moved in. My room was decent sized with a huge king/queen sized bed and a dressing table. Sadly, my flat does not have cooking utensils or internet which makes it very inconvenient to live there. But I guess I'll have to figure something out.

Haven't been very productive past few days. Time indeed passes very quickly. It's been 4 days now that I've been here. Can't wait to get things started!

I am getting more and more used to life with B. Went grocery shopping with him today! He is really sweet. Living with him is a new experience for me. It's really cute and endearing whenever I see, from the corner of my eye, him taking a peek at me when he's playing his game or doing his work.