Wow, where has the time gone. It's been so long since I created this and posted something. I had a fear that would happen. I will try to be better.
I have titled this blog post as "Healing".
The last 3 1/2 months have been a healing time for me and my family. My mother passed away in May. I never thought my heart could hurt so much or be so empty. I remember going through my divorce and the emptiness and the pain that I felt. I felt so defeated and so "dead". I can't say that the pain is the same but they are both a time of grieving for a loss.
I never thought there would be the day that my mom wasn't there to talk to. I didn't realize that I would not have that comfort of her constant companionship. It isn't there anymore and it's a loss that is undescribable. She was my true best friend. I remember when she was diagnosed and she didn't want tears, she wanted us to be strong. We sure tried but I remember one day telling her that I didn't know what I'd do if I didn't have her to talk to. That was an understatement. Mothers are truly our gift from our Heavenly Father. There is a reason that we have mothers. My mom was not perfect and I am not going be one of those that pretends that she was, but .... I wouldn't have traded her for the world. She listened, she probed, she cared, she helped, and she did all of these things because she loved so deeply. Her daughters and her grandkids were her most treasured posessions. She loved her neices and nephews almost as much as her own kids....maybe just as much.
"Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever."
I have titled this blog post as "Healing".
The last 3 1/2 months have been a healing time for me and my family. My mother passed away in May. I never thought my heart could hurt so much or be so empty. I remember going through my divorce and the emptiness and the pain that I felt. I felt so defeated and so "dead". I can't say that the pain is the same but they are both a time of grieving for a loss.
I never thought there would be the day that my mom wasn't there to talk to. I didn't realize that I would not have that comfort of her constant companionship. It isn't there anymore and it's a loss that is undescribable. She was my true best friend. I remember when she was diagnosed and she didn't want tears, she wanted us to be strong. We sure tried but I remember one day telling her that I didn't know what I'd do if I didn't have her to talk to. That was an understatement. Mothers are truly our gift from our Heavenly Father. There is a reason that we have mothers. My mom was not perfect and I am not going be one of those that pretends that she was, but .... I wouldn't have traded her for the world. She listened, she probed, she cared, she helped, and she did all of these things because she loved so deeply. Her daughters and her grandkids were her most treasured posessions. She loved her neices and nephews almost as much as her own kids....maybe just as much.
"Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever."
The days have gotten easier although there are moments that it all just feels so "un-real".
Mom fought so hard and she wanted to beat this cancer. In the end, she couldn't fight it anymore and she was in a lot of pain the last several months as the cancer took over her body. She was able to stay with us for 13 months after diagnosis and they were months that I am so glad that I had with her. Not nearly enough, but I'm thankful for what I had.
She decided to have most of her family come for a "family reunion" of sorts before she would leave this earth and return to our Heavenly Father. She was surrounded by her mother, her husband, her children, her grandchildren, all of her siblings, neices, and nephews, and friends. She was loved and the gathering that took place around her truly showed that.
She took her last breath at home on May 23rd, 2008. Ironically it was her sister, Debbie's birthday. I was praying that it would not happen on the 25th, as it was Bryten's birthday and I didn't want her to have to go through life sharing that date. Debbie on the other hand was honored to share that date and I believe my mother knew it was o.k.
